"What do you like most about me? My vacant eyes or my fake smiles?" I whispered to him. He had lost me a long time ago. His name is Jacob and we dated for a year when we were 15. I laid on my bed talking to him like we use to when we were kids. It's been a year since the break up and this is the first time he's been in my room since and we're the only ones home.

Walking over to my bed, he whispers," I don't know you tell me," he sits down and waits. I saw nothing knowing that if I say anything it will welcome him in and I know what his boyish 17 year old mind is thinking. But is it totally bad that I may want that to…

He scoots a little closer, his knee nearly touching mine. He's been here an hour and I knew this would come sooner or later." Bella,' he whispers," You already know what I want and what are friends for, right, Bella."

"Jacob, I'm pretty sure that's not what they're for. And any way you are not about to get my virginity as a Christmas present," I say as puts his on my thigh and works his way up.

"Jacob, stop. It's not like that anymore." It probably burned his ears. He was the quarter back of a state champion football team. Plus, he was sexy. He had golden brown skin, Dark sexy brown hair, and a six-pack under a shirt he hardly ever wore. But he was so cocky he probably thought every girl was just waiting to give him their virginity to him. "

"Come on Bella. Make Santa come early," he said forcing his hand down my pants.

"JACOB! STOP! Please I don't want to do this. Tomorrow I promise. Please leave me alone!" I cried tears running down my face. I yanked his hand out of my pants and got up and sat down in my computer chair.

Jacob, seeing the tears, comes over and sits on one knee in front of me." Bells, you don't have to do this, any of it. Bella, look at me," And I looked at him. I stared into his dark brown gorgeous eyes," I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, Ok. I love you. You're the little sister I never had." And with that, he gathered his things and leaves. Stupid Jacob, he was always a sucker for tears.

I grab my marker and scribble under the words' love me and please try not to love me'

'Please don't be the reason I cry tonight' even though I already know no one will ever listen to it.