Once upon a time, in a land far, far away—

No. Let's not start a story like that again. It's too trite.

Alright. There once lived a boy in the luscious forest—

No!

No need to be so rude, Lambo. You start the story, then.

I will.

Twas a breezy day in the middle of autumn, where a dark-haired man about ten years our senior was positioned against a tree, reading a book, expression full of scowling… Old habits die hard, I suppose.

He was reading one of those classical books, the kind that's assigned to schoolkids. Hey, that looks like the book I have to read… Maybe I can ask him about the book so I don't have to read it.

Introduce the characters!

Right. This man was none other Kyouya Hibari, still-feared cloud guardian of the infamous Vongola family. Probably famous. Whatever. The point is, this guy scares the waste out of me. And everyone else, too.

Okay, waste? …

Hey, I don't like cursing.

Waste.

It's better than—

"What are you herbivores doing?" Suddenly the said cloud guardian looms over us, casting a shadow behind our feet. Hollywood lied! These bushes don't hide people. I-Pin stands up immediately and bows.

"Sorry, Hibari! We were… producing science! It's part of an experiment for school," she explains on the spot. "We had to analyze our enviornment. Sorry again if it looked like we were spying on you, because it was all his fault!" I-Pin points at me and scurries off.

"What?" I look up to meet Hibari's frightening eyes. Okay, bad situation. What are my choices… I don't have many, do I?

"Kufufu… Kyouya~ Are you torturing our famiglia again?" Great. The scarier guy appears. The one who knows everything. Just my luck. I should run before I get raped. I stand up and prepare to run before—

"Was it a mission to spy on Kyouya?" Maybe. But I wouldn't dare utter that aloud. Why did they let I-Pin escape? It's not fair…

Luckily, I possess the keen ability to talk myself out of any situation. "No! Vongola requested that I-Pin and I patrol this area. Lately it's been infested with criminals." Such as yourselves, I might add, gulping.

Mukuro steps forward and opens his mouth to speak, but I break down in fear of getting hit with his pointy trident and not-fun illusions. "Okay, Reborn told us to make a story about you two as we follow you; honestly I think it's because he's such a sadist and gets off on watching me be defeated in dilemmas like this; that guy's probably watching us right now, just wait for someone to start laughing in that Reborn-y way he does; I should get a rebellion started, don't you think?" My mouth just runs on, way to play it cool.

Mukuro freezes in place and stifles his laugh, turning away. Hibari hides a smirk and replies, "Sounds to me like you've got a score to settle with the baby."

"If you're talking about the story, then yes." Wow, I'm not cowering in fear anymore! These guys aren't as scary as I thought.

Mukuro slowly turns around and grins maliciously. Oh god, scratch that. Now I'm terrified. "If you need a story about us…" he latches onto Hibari's shoulder with his mouth and commences the sucking. I turn away, eyes widening, before anything else happens.

At that moment, I-Pin tumbles from a nearby bush. Well then. Did she pass out? I pick her up bridal style and run away as soon as I hear faint moaning.


Wanted to try writing like this. xD

Yes, I-Pin is a fangirl. And sadly I have to leave it like this. D: