This is Stave Three of "A Fairly Odd Christmas Carol"! Here are your replies to your reviews!

OddAuthor: Thanks for the review. I'm trying my very best to keep the characters in check. When I heard that Remy was going to be Ebenezer Scrooge, I was thrilled! Both are considered cruel misers who later change their ways (Scrooge, yes. Remy? I'm not sure.)... I hope to hear from you again!

AK1028: Thanks again for reviewing. Whew! I thought that you wouldn't like it! Since that's the case, I'm keeping Nacey as a party goer in this stave. I hope to hear from you again!

Luiz4200: Thanks for the review. I used that line because Remy's/Scrooge's situation with his father reminded me of Zuko and his Father. I also did mention J. K. Rowling and the Harry Potter series. I hope to hear from you again!


A Fairly Odd Christmas Carol

Stave III


Kellen: Time had passed since Remy fell asleep. Outside, the big clock on top of the courthouse sounded twice, which woke up Remy.

Remy: 2:00. Well, Henry? Where is the spirit? Even in death, you've made mistakes!

(He tried to fall back to sleep, but a loud voice kept him awake.)

Voice: REMY BUXAPLENTY!

(Remy ran to the door where he heard the voice and noticed a flickering light coming from it.)

Voice: Come in and know me, bitter man!

(He opened the door to find a green haired fairy in a robe carrying an Olympic styled torch floating in front of all sorts of lavish things.)

Fairy: You've never seen the likes of me before, huh? Nor have you walked forth any of my over 700 siblings?

Remy: Cosmo? Are you the Ghost of Christmas Present?

Cosmo: Indeed I am! Now, take hold of my robe!

(Remy took hold of his robe and was blinded by a large light. When it settled, they were outside...and in the morning!)

Remy: What day is it?

Cosmo: Don't you know? It's Christmas morning! Come; I have something to show you!


(Remy and Cosmo are standing in front of a house.)

Cosmo: Here we are!

Remy: Who's house is this?

Cosmo: This is Timmy Turner's house!

Remy: Really? He sure can make ends meet.

Cosmo: Let's go inside. Like with Christmas Past, we'll be invisible and unheard.

(Inside, Trixie Tang-Turner is setting up the table. Along with her is her daughter Faith.)

Trixie: What's keeping Timmy so long?

Faith: You know him: he likes to complement the priest on his sermons.

Trixie: I hope he likes the pudding I made this year.

Faith: No need to worry, Mom. When it comes to making pudding, you're the queen!

Trixie: Thanks...you're still not getting any now.

Faith: Come on, just a taste?

Trixie: I'm sure it'll taste great...I just don't need your tongue to prove it!

(Timmy and Poof enter through the door.)

Timmy: Merry Christmas, everyone.

Trixie: You're late...

Timmy: Sorry, honey.

Trixie: Faith, take you brother to the den. I have to speak with your father. (Faith and Poof leave.) How was he at church?

Timmy: Better than I hoped.

Remy: Look at how he supports him...

Cosmo: Corndog what?

Remy: Huh? Nothing...

Timmy: He told me on the way home that he hoped that the people who saw him as a cripple should remember on Christmas day who it was that made the dumb talk, the deaf hear, and blind men see.

Trixie: Really?

Timmy: Yeah! Also, he seems to get stronger every day. His limbs are growing, and he's in better spirits.

Trixie: I noticed that too.

Timmy: But the most important thing is that we're all here.

Trixie: Faith, could you help me with the goose?

Faith: Yes, mom!

Timmy: By the way, Faith. I met up with a guy name Phillip O'Connell. He's Buxaplenty's nephew and he told me that he had a position at his workplace that's perfect for you!

Faith: How much is he offering?

Timmy: $360 a week. You start next Monday, you want to do it?

Faith: Yes! Now, I'll be helping around the house!

Remy: No wonder. He's never been able to put by a dollar!

Cosmo: Perhaps he's put by more than money.

Remy: He's just doing that just to spite me. Employing my employee's offspring at such a wage!

(Later that evening, the family had just said grace and are setting up their plates.)

Remy: Goose is kinda small.

Cosmo: That's all Timmy can afford.

Timmy: All served? Then let's begin; a Merry Christmas to us all!

Everyone: Merry Christmas to us all.

Poof: And God bless us...everyone!

Remy: Tell me...will the boy live?

Cosmo: I see an empty spot at the table, a crutch with no owner. If this remains the case, then yes...the boy will die. None of my siblings will find him here. Should he die? "Let him, and decrease the surplus population." Weren't those your words, Remy? Perhaps in the future you should keep quiet until you discover what and where the surplus population is! You are nothing compared to the millions of people like this poor child!

(Later, after Timmy had tried Trixie's pudding and liked it, they were about to close their feast.)

Timmy: I propose a toast to Remy Buxaplenty, the founder of this feast.

Trixie: "Founder of this feast" my foot! I just hope he saved room for dessert...cause he's getting MY FIST INTO HIS STOMACH!

Timmy: Trixie! There are kids present, and let's not forget your blood pressure!

Trixie: Fine... To Mr. Buxaplenty. May he have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. (aside) Though I doubt his Christmas will be happy...or merry!

Timmy: Mr. Buxaplenty.

Trixie: Mr. Buxaplenty.

Faith: Mr. Buxaplenty.

Poof: Mr. Buxaplenty.

Cosmo: We still have some time left. Take my robe.


(Remy and Cosmo appear near a wealthy house.)

Cosmo: I think this will amuse you.

Remy: I'm not in the mood.

(They arrive at a huge party hosted Phillip O'Connell and his wife Rachel, who was playing the piano. Among the guests were A.J. Ibrahim, his wife Alicia, Juandissimo Magnifico, Nacey, and the Pichu Twins John and Pete. We see that Phillip is laughing near Rachel.)

Rachel: What's so funny? Is it me playing the piano?

Phillip: Sorry. I was laughing at Uncle Buxaplenty said about Christmas being a humbug.

A.J.: I'd like to meet this guy, Phillip.

Alicia: I heard from my brother-in-law that he's very rich!

Phillip: He may be rich, but it's of no use to him. Never made himself comfortable with it.

Remy: He should keep his opinions to himself...

Rachel: I have no patience for him.

Phillip: I feel sorry for the man. The only reason I talk about his is because of my mother, God rest her soul. She loved him.

Rachel: And yet every year, he shouts "Christmas..."

Everyone: "...BAH HUMBUG!"

Phillip: Okay, it's time for a game of "Similes!"

Alicia: Similes?

A.J.: We each answer a question that involves a expression using "like" or "as."

Phillip: I've asked Juandissimo to keep time for us. Let's begin. Alicia, "proud as..."

Alicia: A peacock?

Phillip: Correct. John, "dry as..."

John: A bone.

Phillip: A.J., "plump as..."

A.J.: My wife.

Alicia: A.J.!

A.J.: I mean a partridge.

Phillip: Nacey, "quick as..."

Nacey: Wind?

Juandissimo: TIME!

Phillip: You're out!

Remy: "Quick as a wink," idiot!

Cosmo: Quiet!

Remy: You be quiet! I'm listening to the game!

Phillip: Pete, "modest as..."

Pete: A maiden.

Phillip: I'll accept it. I was going for "modest as a violet," though. Rachel, "tight as..."

Rachel: Tight as...

Remy: I know that simile! It's "tight as a drum"!

Phillip: "Tight as..."?

Remy: I don't think the light in her attic is on...

Rachel: As your Uncle's purse strings!

Phillip: Funny, but incorrect. It's "tight as a drum." You lose.

Cosmo: We've got one more stop. Take hold of my robe again.


(Cosmo and Remy appear in a alleyway where a poor family of four is gathered.)

Remy: Now where are we?

Cosmo: It's just a place, like many in this world.

Mother: Is it enough wood for tonight?

Father: It'll last. (he hands the kids a potato)

Boy: It's too hot!

Mother: It'll get cold soon.

Girl: Where did you get these?

Father: I didn't steal them.

Mother: She didn't ask if they were stolen!

Father: I'm not a thief...not yet.

Remy: Why are these people here? They should be in an institution!

Cosmo: Have you visited these institutions?

Remy: Never, though I've paid for them.

Mother: Please come back to the pit.

Father: Look at my hands! These hands were meant to work!

Mother: But we're together; that's important.

Father: Honey, I love you and the children. That's why I'm asking you and the children to go to the poor farm tomorrow.

Mother: I'd rather drown than to go to such a place!

Father: It'll be until I find a job.

Remy: Why are you showing me this? This has nothing to do with me!

Cosmo: Are these people not of the human race? Look upon what I reveal under my robe!

(Cosmo reveals two blond haired and malnourished children dressed in rags from underneath his robe.)

Remy: What are they?

Cosmo: These are your children! The children of all who walk Earth unseen. "Ignorance" and "Want" are their names. Beware, they spell doom to people like you who deny their existence!

Remy: Have they no refuge? No resource?

Cosmo: Are there no prisons? No poor farms?

Remy: I wish to see them no more.

Cosmo: There. They are hidden, but they still live! It is time that I leave you, Remy Buxaplenty.

Remy: You're leaving me HERE?

Cosmo: Yes.

Remy: Can't you just send me back to my bed?

Cosmo: It is too late for that! (chuckles madly then fades away)

Remy: No! Don't leave me in a cold, strange place! COME BACK!


End Stave Three

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