The Sorting of Enterprise D

by Reborn
AN: I just read a story in which Beverly Crusher was sorted into Hufflepuff. That just didn't fly. So, I made this, and had fun writing it.

I don't own HP or ST TNG. Wish I did own TNG. 'Nuff Said.

Once upon a time, the bridge crew of the Enterprise and others were turned into eleven year olds under a very strange circumstance. It was in a highly unusual energy flux. Everything was malfunctioning except Sick Bay. Suddenly, Dr. Selar felt a strong influx of sensations. It wasn't unique to her. Everywhere on the Enterprise, strange things were happening. Suddenly, the ship lurched into the disruption. It was a quantum energy flux.

They appeared on a Planet, inside it's atmosphere. It was very strange, as several newly young Vulcans noted audibly. It was decided that the doctors would run tests on everyone, then Captain Picard would go and speak to whomever was in charge.

The tests got in; everyone had access to all of their adult memories with almost the same degree of recall, and only their forebrains, and thus, their maturity, had had major regression.
"And so, we should try to get all systems back online as soon as possible, with a priority on Mr. Data. He is the only non-reduced person here, and he is a valued crew member."
Naturally, their attempts to bring them back online failed. The area they were in was magical, and thwarted their energies. Well, unless you're counting the telepathic abilities of some non human crew members. That worked just fine.
So, Captain Picard crawled out of a narrow Jeffries' tube opening to have a look at where they were.
It was... Beautiful. This castle, the lake, all of it was somehow magical!
Captain Picard suddenly heard a loud "Halloo," from across the field. A greatly sized man was walking toward him at a nice trot.
"Huh, hu..." the giant of a man panted after reaching him. "Professor Dumbledore, that's the Headmaster, would like to see you up at the castle, young master."
"Ah," Captain Picard pronounced. "I take it this is some of private boarding school?"
"Yeh, it is," said Hagrid. "It's one of the best schools for magic there is."
What? You thought Picard was going to react strongly? He's used to telepaths in his everyday life. He's been called a Borg. He has made First Contact with over a dozen alien races.
"I'm sure it looks just as beautiful inside as it does outside," said the Captain.
They finally got to meet the Professor. After Picard explained the fix of every Enterprise crew member, he received an explanation and a suggestion.
"Our magic has shorted everything out, including your Mr. do you not take the time to re-age and learn our magics? From what my sensors indicate, every awake person on the ship should be able to at least learn a simple levitation charm," said Dumbledore, eyes twinkling.
"But what about Mr. Data?"
"I'll get some specialists to see if they can get him to run on magic."
It was made so.
It was decided, that since the crew of the Enterprise totaled over 1,000, they would all be sorted early. Also, the dorms had to have spaciousness charms placed on them. The year was1991.
"Barclay, Reginald," Professor McGonagall called. The poor eleven year old Reg was half nervous, half exited!
"Hmm. You have an intense desire to learn, but at times, loyalty and sheer hard work have been the only things that have kept you in Starfleet. You are a very mixed bag of tricks... Better be... RAVENCLAW!
"Crusher, Beverly!"
"Hmm... Definitely not a bad mind, obviously Doctor. But that isn't your defining quality, I see. Intense loyalty to patients, hmm, able to think on the fly, very brave... where do you want to go? Better be... Gryffindor!"
"Crusher, Jay!"
"Great loyalty I sense in you, but also a thirst for knowledge. You really would be better off a Raven. Oh, alright! BETTER BE HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Crusher, Wesley!"
"Hmm, you're the spitting mental image of your mother. Able to take risks, though not as loyal, there's a great thirst for knowledge, but also great ambition. Alright, better be... RAVENCLAW!"
"Mr. Data!"
It got to a millimetre of his head before screeching "RAVENCLAW!"
"Ms. Guinan!"
Amazingly, Guinan didn't let the hat get close either. "HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Mr. Hugh!"
This time, the Sorting Hat made it down to the cyborg's head, though it was twitching from all the synapses firing.
"Of course, being a Borg, you have a great intellect. However, I sense an even greater heart. You have an incredible work ethic and a loyal heart. Only one place for you, HUFFLEPUFF!"
"LaForge, Geordi!"
"Hmm, very loyal, not a bad mind either. You wish to be loyal to your friend? Very well. RAVENCLAW!"
"Picard, Cathal!"
"I see intense loyalty, bravery, ambition, and desire for knowledge. However, the latter is bound up in the loyalty. You desire to know as much about those you love as is possible and decent, which is loyal, brave, and ambitious. Where to... Ah, HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Picard, Jean Luc!"
"So, this is the infamous Captain. You have survived many trials, and can make very tough decisions under pressure. I see this Picard Maneuver; it takes guts and technical skill. You are extremely bright, but are not necessarily driven to pursue knowledge... Intense ambition, bravery of a true lion, and an incredible loyalty... Alright, well, if you insist, BETTER BE GRYFFINDOR!"
"Riker, Barash!"
"Hmm, non definitive but strong mental skills. You have a relatively strong version of that bravery that almost every child possesses, but your definitive qualities are... HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Riker, William!"
"I know just where you belong, you bluff master. GRYFFINDOR!"
"Ro, Laren!"
"Intense loyalty to your people and Captain Picard I sense... BETTER BE HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Troi, Deanna!
"You have bravery but you had to train yourself to be brave. You are extremely intelligent, but not thirsty for more knowledge. You are best suited to... HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Mr. Worf!
Once again, the hat came within a whisper of his head before it screamed, "GRYFFINDOR!"
And so was the Crew of the Enterprise D Sorted.