Dexter's Empire

A spoof fanfic by Crayz9000

Dexter's Laboratory property of Cartoon Network.
Star Trek property of Paramount.
Star Wars property of Lucasfilm
The Crocodile Hunter property of The Discovery Channel.
Super Mario Brothers property of Nintendo.
Doctor Who property of the BBC.
2001: A Space Odyssey property of... I don't know, Stanley Kubrick?
MechWarrior2 property of Activision.
WarCraft property of Blizzard Entertainment.
Honeycombs property of General Mills.
Back to the Future property of Universal.
"Got Milk?" is a trademark of The United Dairy Council, or something like
Radio Shack and the TRS-80 property of Tandy, Inc.
Thanks to Dodge, a division of Chrysler Motors, for use of a Viper.
The Dukes of Hazzard property of Warner Brothers. Something like that.
Otherspace and the Daltonator trademark property of Rob Dalton.
Spaceballs property of... I don't really know.
Home Alone property of some media giant.
AOL is the trademark of America Online.
Back Orfice was developed by the hackers of the L0PHT.
Hewlett-Packard is a trademark of... you guessed it, Hewlett-Packard.
Imperial Disco is a fanfic by Chuck Sonnenburg.
"And somebody died. Of gangrene." is a trademark of Spyda. I think so,
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is copyright... I dunno, anybody have
that book?
Half-Life property Sierra Studios and Valve, Inc.
Scooby-Doo property of Hanna-Barbera Studios.
South Park property of Comedy Central.
Ben-Hur is property of Metro-Goldwin-Mayer. Plus the deceased author of the
George of the Jungle... I can't remember who made the original cartoon.
Spy Hard... well, all I can remember is that it starred Leslie Nielsen.

I think that's it.
No money is being made off of this fic. It's just a spoof, after all.

Chapter 1

In a secret lab underneath an ordinary-looking house, in an ordinary-looking neighborhood, an experiment was about to take place.

At the sound of a crash, a boy soldering a piece of delicate electronic equipment jumped and turned around.

"Deedee! What are you doing in my laboratory?"

The girl in question walked over to a stand, where an object looking like a television remote sat. "Oooh, what does this do?"

"NO! Don't touch that!"

The girl snatched it, and took off at a run. As she was running, though, she didn't notice that she had knocked over a row of test equipment. A particularly heavy oscilloscope crashed over, hitting a big green button on another console. With a whirr of machinery, a swirling gate appeared in front of the heedless girl. She promptly ran through, followed by Dexter.

In the engineering section of the NCC-1701 E, currently near Deep Space 9, Wesley Crusher was inspecting a plasma conduit, when Deedee and Dexter appeared out of midair, landing with a thump on the deck. Geordi promptly ran over.

"Are you two all right?"

Without answering him, Deedee got up, and began running. Dexter tried to follow her, but Geordi restrained him.

"Look. What happened?"

Dexter responded. "My evil sister stole a piece of equipment that I was working on. I must get it back!"

Dexter jumped up, and ran beneath the engineer's legs. The engineer looked in surprise, as Deedee began running on the consoles with Dexter following. A second after Deedee hit a console, it exploded, blackening Dexter. She finally ran into a turbolift at the far end of the room, and the door shut in Dexter's face. When she was in the turbolift, she looked at the wall charts.

"Ooh, look at all the funny names! Hmm, what's the transporter room?"

With a whirr, the turbolift came into action, and the door opened at the transporter room. A security guard tried to stop her. "Halt! Who are you?" She immediately jumped over him, landing on the transporter control console. The confused security officer began shooting stun blasts with his phaser, knocking out the transporter technician and a few nameless ensigns.

In the meantime, Dexter and Wesley ran into another turbolift. "Bridge." The turbolift shot upwards, and Wesley introduced himself.

"My name's Wesley Crusher. I'm really interested in technology and stuff. So who are you?"

The shorter boy turned and looked up. "I am Dexter, boy genius, and I hate my stupid sister Deedee."

By the time he had finished saying this, the doors shot open, and Captain Picard walked toward them.

Dexter asked him, "Can you help me stop my evil sister? She's loose on this ship." Picard started to respond, when the alarms started blaring.

"Red alert. Red alert. Red alert."

"Oh kriff, never mind."

The command rang throughout the hundred-mile wide battlestation.

"Commence primary ignition."

There was a loud whine, which quickly dropped to subsonic frequencies. But just as a black helmeted soldier pulled back on the firing lever, the battlestation was abruptly sucked into a wormhole. It appeared on the other side, and obliterated a ring-like space station with the superlaser before anyone could react.

Kira was looking out of the Defiant's viewscreen at Deep Space Nine, which they had just undocked from. As she gazed at it, the ship's alarms rang out, and the viewscreen flashed white before shutting down. A minute later, when it came back online, all that was left where the station had been was lumps of metal and an expanding gas cloud. "NO!" She broke down, weeping, for the place she had once called home. The view switched to the thing which obliterated DS9. It was a massive, 160-kilometer space station, with a crater-like cavity in the front.

The Millennium Falcon cruised through hyperspace, toward its destination of Alderaan. The Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi, suddenly turns away and sits down, as if in shock. A blond-haired kid, who had been practicing with a lightsaber and training remote, ran forward.

"Are you all right? What's wrong?"

The old man replied. "I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if thousands of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

He rubs his forehead, and seems to drift into a trance. "You'd better get on with your exercises."

Several hours later, Han Solo is sitting in the cockpit of the Falcon. He notices a small light flashing on the far side of the control panel.

"Looks like we're coming up on Alderaan. Stand by, Chewie."

The ship lurches violently, startling the pilot. "Cut in the sublight engines! Now!"

The mottled sky of hyperspace becomes the streaks of starlines. He looks out at a strange stellar system.

"What the...? Aw, we've come out of hyperspace in an asteroid field. It's not on any of the charts."

Luke comes running into the cockpit. "What's going on?"

The startled smuggler responds. "I have no idea where we are- we're not in any system the navicomputer has registered."

Another light flashes on the control panel. "Another ship coming in."

Luke replies. "Maybe they can tell us what happened."

Ben looks out at the small speck. "It's an Imperial fighter."