It was Christmas eve at Smash Manor. The lights were strung, the decorations were hung, the young smashers were trying to stay awake to meet Santa Claus ( and not to mug him as he came down the chimney and steal all the presents). Nothing could disturb the tranquility of the night… except a certain disembodied floating appendage who just got a letter from his cousin in Mississippi.
"All Smashers are to report to the dinning room immediately!" cried the shrill voice of Master Hand's mentally unsound brother, Crazy Hand. The young smashers groaned at being removed from their vigil on the fireplace and the elder smashers from being dragged away from the cottony comfort of their beds.
As the smashers sat down in the dining hall, Crazy Hand announced " I just got a letter from my cousin Bubba, who lives in Mississippi!"
"We get letters from earth?" Mario whispered to Luigi.
"Anyway, I called you all down here because Bubba, unable to make it here for Christmas, wrote me a letter which I shall now read to you." Crazy Hand donned his spectacles and began the letter.
Howdy cousin Crazy!
Sorry I can't make it for Christmas again this year. But you know groin' cotton is a year round business. Anyways as I ain't goin' to be thar fer Christmas. I was a-goin to write you this here letter with a song I just made up.
Merry Christmas Cousin
Bubba Redwrist Hand.
"And now" Crazy Hand announced, "I will sing the song for you! Ahem" Crazy Hand draws his breath as the Smashers cover their ears.
Rudolph the Redneck Reindeer
Had a very shinny 'baccer can
And if you ever saw it
The first you would say is Redneck!
All of the other Reindeer (Reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names (Like uncivilized)
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games (Like polo!)
Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santer came to say
Rudolph with yer 'baccer can so bright
Won't you gimme a dip tonight?
Then how the Reindeer feared him
As they shouted out wif terrer
"Rudolph the Redneck reindeer,
You just shot your grandmother!
Crazy Hand looked up from the letter to see that the smashers had left the area
"I bet Fenegelen took them!" Crazy hand roared.
Merry Christmas! And Happy Hanukkah!