"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Jack bellowed as he rematerialized on board an all-too-familiar space craft. "Thor!"

"Greetings, O'Neill," the diminutive alien said from across the room where he sat by a control panel.

"I was in the middle of a meeting! With a civilian! In a public place, Thor!" O'Neill growled as he stalked over.

"I am sorry, O'Neill, but I have a matter that needs your urgent attention. When I contacted your office, they said that they were unable to reach you. I assumed that you were missing and that they meant that they could not find you, so as soon as I located your life sign, I transported you on board my ship," Thor explained. "I did not mean to create trouble for you."

"How am I going to explain this?" Jack wondered aloud. "Thor, you need to send me back where you found me right now."

"I cannot, O'Neill," Thor answered. "You have not yet helped me with my problem. I can bring the other person that was in the room with you here."

"No! Wait!" Jack shouted.

It was already too late. With a distinctive hum, the transporter activated and Maeby appeared. She was standing and waiving her hand through the air, apparently trying to find out where Jack had disappeared to.

"Whoa!" she cried out as she realized that she was no longer in her office. "This is exactly what we need for the movie!"

"Thor!" Jack yelled again. "You've got to stop doing that!"

Maeby spun around and saw General O'Neill. She took a few steps towards him before she noticed the creature standing slightly behind him. She gave him an appraising glance before she shrugged and started forward again.

"So, wait, are we really in outer space? What's the deal?" she asked as she stepped up before Jack.

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Thor here decided that I was in trouble and beamed me away. When I tried to explain, he misunderstood again and brought you up to his space ship, too," he explained.

"Real aliens, huh? Cool." Maeby commented as she looked at the Asgard Supreme Commander. He was only slightly shorter than she was, so they were staring almost eye to eye. "Been to Roswell lately?"

"I have not," Thor replied.

"So, Thor, what was so urgent that needed my attention," Jack asked, trying to get things back on track and wrapped up before Maeby started asking more questions. Or worse, got bored, started pushing buttons and managed to wipe out half the state of Kansas.

"I wished to inform you that I will be returning home shortly. I regret to inform you that I will be unable to join in your NHL 2004 tournament on your PlayStation this weekend. I have also run out of bubble gum and would like you to procure me some more," Thor stated.

Jack was sure that Maeby's jaw was going to come unhinged before the day was over from as many times as it had fallen open. He rubbed at his temples, trying to relieve the quickly developing headache. "And you couldn't just tell Carter this why?" he demanded.

"Colonel Carter is currently off-world. You have also informed me several times that you do not wish me to just take my own supply from your retail stores," Thor declared.

"But you don't have a problem just beaming me up?" Jack asked.

"As I told you, O'Neill, I was under the impression that you were in trouble," Thor said with a bit of annoyance.

"Well, I can't help you from up here," Jack pointed out.

"Um, I can," Maeby said, butting in. She reached into her hip pocket and pulled out a pack of Juicy Fruit. "It's not really bubble gum, but it's better than nothing."

Thor looked at O'Neill who just shrugged his shoulders. "I have never tried this flavor before. Thank you, miss..."

"Maeby," she filled in. "Maeby F√ľnke."

"Maeby," Thor said as he took the gum and shook her hand.

Turning to the General, he continued. "Now, if you will excuse me, I must return to my duties."

With that, Thor turned and pressed a button on the console. In a flash, Jack and Maeby were returned to her office.

"Wait until I tell George Michael about this!" Maeby chattered as she retook her seat.

"You won't tell anyone about what you just saw," Jack commanded. "You're going to have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."

"No way! This is front page stuff!" she shot back. "I bet I can get a million bucks for the rights."

"How about this for a compromise," O'Neill returned. "You sign a non-disclosure agreement about what you've seen and never talk about it with anyone. In return, I'll get you some first-hand insight and ideas from my old team for your script. And I won't tell the studio who you really are or your truancy officer where you've been spending your days."

Maeby gulped nervously. "Uh, yeah, I think that'll work."

"Great," he said with a satisfied smirk as he pulled out a cell phone. "I'll have it faxed over as soon as you give me the number."

A few minutes later, the paperwork was complete. The General gave Maeby a handshake and headed for the door, planning a stop at the SGC to see his former teammates and to tell Walter to order a whole pallet of bubble gum before Thor's next visit. Just before he left, he turned back to face the girl at the desk. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card, handing it over to her. "Hey, if this producing thing falls apart, I may have a place for you. You kept your cool when faced with what you just saw but will never talk about, and that says a lot about your character."

"You've obviously never met my family. That's probably not even the craziest thing I'll see today!"


Published 12-27-10