A/N: Very random, as I was going on a Taylor Swift binge. The song I mention is 'Mary's Song' by Taylor Swift. Apologies for any grammar or spelling errors. I absolutely love Burt and Kurt, and I can just imagine that his mother is just as amazing as the two of them :)
Kurt doesn't really remember her; he remembers the sound of her voice, her infectious laugh. He remembers her smile, and the smell of her shampoo. He remembers her loving touches, and kisses to his forehead. However, even though she died when he was six, and even though he's now seventeen, and he barely remembers his sixth grade teacher, nevermind having any full, concrete memories of his mother; he feels guilty for not remembering her more clearly.
He remembers how much he loved her. Loves her. He smiles, as he sits in his coveralls that he uses for working in the shop with his father, on the dusty floor of their attic. He trails his perfectly manicured finger along the edges of a white lace photo album, with yellowing pages, and well-preserved photographs. Although her wedding dress is obviously something from the early ninties, she still looks beautiful to him. Her hair, which he knows was the same colour and same thickness as his,is even more obviously the same as his; and her sparkling eyes that he recognizes as his own. He's not sure how his father is able to look at him and not see his mother.
He has one concrete memory of her and he wouldn't even call it a full memory; if anyone were to ask him, he would call it a glimpse. A scene. It's a beautiful one, he admits to himself, as he places his parents' wedding album aside, and pulls the box of his mother's things closer to him. He pulls out a pair of old, worn dancing shoes. He feels their old black leather and smiles, remembering the one partial memory he had.
Kurt can't remember why he was out of bed – but he knows that it was late at night. His parents were laughing softly, yet loud enough for him to hear from the hallway. He turned into his living room, and saw his parents attempting to dance. His mother was an amazing dancer – that is definitely something Kurt remembers. His father was apologizing with a smile, and his mother was giggling as she corrected him. Suddenly, his father put a stronger grip on his mother's waist, and swung her down into a dip. Kurt remembers her surprised laugh; he remembers the soft kiss his father placed on his mother.
It's a romantic memory, but it's one that reminds Kurt of how much he looks up to his father – how much his father doesn't realize Kurt does. Kurt wants to be that man, a man who takes care of his loved ones, who loves his family without understanding them – because Kurt knows his father doesn't understand him, and he may never fully understand him. The fact that he loves Kurt anyway, makes Kurt's heart threaten to burst. He brushed a tear from his flawless cheek, and pulls out another item from the box next to him.
The videotape is dusty, and has so many cobwebs around it that Kurt only touches it because he's wearing some plastic gloves he stole off Miss Pillsbury's desk last week while sorting out his timetable for next year. He wipes off the label-less tape – it must be his parent's wedding video. He stands up, not caring that he only has an hour to finish his chore of cleaning the attic before Burt comes home from the shop, and three hours before Carole was due home with Finn from football practice and work.
He puts the tape in, not expecting very much, but the curiosity in him needs to at least try. He plops himself down on the sofa, and grabs the remote to press play.
The first thing he notices is that it's not his parent's wedding. It's just his mother, laughing at the camera, laughing at his father who was holding the camera. His father backs away, panning out for Kurt to see his mother standing on an empty stage – is that the auditorium at McKinley? - with a guitar strung around her neck, wearing jeans and a t-shirt – a very plain outfit that Kurt would never wear, but he's not surprised to his mother wearing it. He hears his parent's laughter again, and finally his father egging his mother on.
"Come on Anna, you told me you had something to sing for me, so sing it." Kurt can hear the excitement in his voice.
His mother blushes. "I didn't expect you to bring along the video camera!"
"It's a wedding present from your brother, don't you want to try it out?"
"Fine, but you can't show this to anyone Burt! I mean it! I'll hunt you down and feed you to the wolves!"
His mother smiles brightly, hesitates on starting the song, but eventually begins with a few simple chords. When she starts to sing, Kurt feels a tingle all over him, like he was listening to his own voice sing back to him. He's so caught up in his mother's voice, he doesn't hear the door close behind him, and his father appear, stopping dead in his tracks when he realizes what his son has found.
She's singing about loving his father. About how, when they were little he threatened to beat her up, but he never did. How he finally asked her out when they were teenagers. About their first fight, and how his father stayed outside his mother's house all night long just so he could talk to her first thing in the morning and apologize. She sings about how he asked her to marry him in the middle of town – his father had shown him the spot when he was little, and every time he passes by it, Kurt can't help but stop and smile. She sings about the whole town coming to their wedding, which again was proof that things rarely changed in a small town – practically the whole town showed up for his father's wedding to Carole too. Kurt's breath catches in his throat when she sings about having children with him. The tears are already streaming down his face when she gets to the part of the song where she mentions growing old with him, and never losing the spark between them, even when they're eighty.
The video cuts as his father catches his mother in his arms, and pulls her in for what Kurt assumes to be a kiss. The camera is placed on a random seat in the auditorium, and he can hear his father's voice praising his mother, telling her how much he loves her. He doesn't know his father's in the room until he places a hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt jumps in his seat.
"That was our first day being married. She broke into the school to use that stage."
Wiping the tears from his cheeks, sick of being so weak in front of his father all the time, he smiles bravely up at him. "I was just cleaning the attic when I found a box of her things..." his voice trailed off.
Burt takes a seat on the arm of the sofa beside Kurt, and rubs his shoulder affectionately. "She was amazing. Her voice was like an angel's... but your voice is much stronger than hers."
Kurt looks up and his father is giving him a smile that he's never seen his father give anyone but him. He feels warm inside as he nods through a new batch of tears. "I just... I wish I knew her. I wish I remembered her more clearly."
Burt stands up, grabs Kurt's hand and pulls him into one of the bear hugs that Kurt only likes half of the times he gives them. "I wish you did too. You are so much like her... so strong. I hope you remember that Kurt."
Kurt sniffs, and untangles himself from his father's arms. "I will," he replies, giving his father a watery smile.
"Keep that tape," Burt says, ejecting it, and giving it to Kurt. "There are three more songs on there. One is of her singing to you on the first night you came home with us." Burt smiles again.
He thanks his father, and turns on his heel to go. Stopping at the stairs that lead to the attic, he calls out to his father.
"I love you Dad."
He only waits a moment for his father's response.
"I love you too kid."