Something I wrote about a year ago. Pre-Oz's return to the abyss. Break/Gil, and yeah. Originally wrote for the kink meme on livejournal.
It's always been a game between them. I use you, you use me. That's all this is, Gilbert. You'll be my left eye, my precious left eye that will spy on the Nightray Rats. Don't let me down. It's a game of give and take. You actually managed to contract with Raven? My, you're more useful than I thought~! A game of conflicted desires and wants.
He wants his master back. That's all he wants. It's clean cut and obvious. What Xerxes wants, no, what Break wants is entirely different. It's an enigma and Raven is starting to wonder if Oz isn't the only one whose smiles are fake. Were fake. Oz isn't here anymore, he's in the abyss, has been for almost ten years now, and all Raven has left to hold onto from the past is an insane, cryptic, tea-loving idiot.
And not being able to understand him shouldn't bother him as much as it does.
Raven just wants Oz back, but what does Break want? He has no idea.
And it remains a mystery, even when the hatter smirks that charming little smirk of his, leaning against the doorway to the bedroom in amusing. His red eye is glimmering mischeviously, so much like Oz, but so damn different. It's automatic, the growl that comes from Raven. What do you want? he practically growls, trying to ignore the bothersome pest at the door. When he doesn't receive a response-he's busy, why doesn't Break just leave him alone for a few moments, or forever- he glances up.
Break is suddenly in the room, and a few inches from him. He's invading that little thing called personal space again, furtive look on his face. He makes a small 'tsk' sound before poking Raven's nose, almost as a parent would.
"Your face will get stuck like that if you don't learn to smile," Break teases, though there's a darker side to his eyes.
"I'm busy," Raven retorts, hand coming up to swat at the man's hand.
Break mocks a pout. It's so tragic, isn't it? "You're always busy, my little subordinate," he mocks before hopping up on the desk Raven is working at. Subsequently, all of Raven's paperwork he's been reading and fussing over is covered.
"...Break, get off. I'm busy," Raven repeats, a sigh escaping him. It's been a long day and he really doesn't want to deal with this right now.
"Your closed off loyalty to that boy makes you so sour," Break states into the air, not really to Raven, but just in general. He reaches into his pocket, removes a candy, and tugs it open with his teeth.
Raven watches, just a bit. "There you go, saying things I don't-" he begins but is silenced when Break lifts his free hand. Out of nowhere. And presses an index finger to Raven's lips.
"A loyalty to one person is dangerous. Destructive. Even a fraction of yourself dedicated to another cause would do you wonders, Raven," Break explains in a lilt, clearly amused, but all so serious. Just like that one time on the bench.
Raven scoffs and moves to shoo Break's hand away. He doesn't speak, because of that blasted finger. When Break's finger does move away, Raven snaps. And growls. And does everything that's unseemly of a noble, because damnit, no one understands. He has to save Oz.
"You're an insufferable bastard, you know that?" Raven snaps as he pushes back in his chair, making a move to leave. "All you do is use people for your own selfish reasons," he's rambling, not making much sense, being far too loquacious.
Break listens, though just barely. "Are you not the same, little black bird?"
A twitch. "You're-!"
Break silences the fuming man with another finger to his lips and an eye set to the golden, infuriated ones. "We all have our reasons for what we do, Raven. And when I hear someone saying 'I did this for someone', it really infuriates me." He's smiling, despite just having confessed to something as blunt as that. "And I'd rather not be infuriated at my left eye, you see."
"Break," Raven warns, hand coming up a second time to remove the man's finger, but this time he fails. Break's finger darts from his lips and traces along his jaw, slipping down his neck and hooking in the fold of the cravat. He smirks and looks up to Raven's suddenly wide, confused eyes. Just like that little servant boy.
"I wonder if your master ever had thoughts like these," Break hums, tongue slipping out and lifting to the side just a fraction; the picture of contemplation. Too bad it's a charade.
"Oz would never-!"
"I wonder if you had thoughts like these," Break corrects, that sickeningly sweet smile still there as he gives another tug to the knot, loosening the cravat until it falls in the space between them on the floor. Break is still on the desk, and Raven's just trapped, figuratively and literally.
"You!..." Raven growls, knowing he's defeated. Because that's all he ever is, it seems.
Break smirks, though it still has the remnants of that cursed smile. He hops off the desk and proceeds to bend down to Raven's height, considering the man is seated. His pale, slender hand reaches up to ghost over Raven's fretting cheek, giving the skin a mock-stroke before he settles his gaze to the very beginnings of Raven's scar, just visible from the way his shirt is laying.
"You will not leave this world without scars and blood on your hands," Break reasons and meets Raven's gaze again. "And contrasting loyalties."
And suddenly Break's closer, still smiling, god damnit, and he's pressing his lips against Raven's. Raven's cold, loyal, confused, flabbergasted lips. There's a gasp, then a struggle, then a sigh, then another gasp and-
And Break's tongue is coaxing his lips open, warm, wet, and stronger than him. Far more practiced, because Raven's never done this before. Never had thoughts like these. Not consciously, anyway. He's been too busy and-
And Break's hands are traveling down his sides, undoing each golden buckle on his shirt. The man's smirking into the locking of lips, tongue prying at Raven's tightly drawn lips. There's tension in the air, a tension that screams I'm going to kill you, you asshole!.
And then suddenly Raven's lips are open and there's an invader. There's a warm, skilled tongue twisting about, brushing against his own. And oh, there's a hand on his hip, pushing his shirt to the side a bit more, teasing it towards his shoulders. It's undone and Break is all the more cocky about that.
And Raven isn't going to stand for this. He isn't some weak little boy. No, no he isn't, so he pushes forward, his own tongue curling stubbornly against Break's. And then they're fighting, twisting, twining, combating. Just like them in general. He tastes the ever-present sweets in the Pandora member's mouth. He tastes the regret and the sins and the desperation and the secrets.
And he grabs forcefully at Break's cravat-can he even call it that?-and he's dragging him closer, forcing him closer, rather angrily. Break is surprised, just a bit, and somewhat stumbles, a knee coming to rest on the chair between Gilbert's knees.
And it's clumsy but it's perfect and dark and angry.
It's a race to try and dominate the other-oh, those clothes won't do at all. Black birds shouldn't be forced to such restricting clothing~- and it seems like no matter what, Raven can't keep up. One second, Break is empowering a stubborn, vicious kiss, the neck he's between his legs, warm breath ghosting over his inner thigh and then his length and oh god, he shouldn't be doing that. And Raven falls behind, because he can't keep up with the things this man is doing.
But isn't that like always?
As Raven's breath hitches, frustrated, as he gropes at Break's shoulders, tired of the damn teasing and just wants something else, he falls back into place. As the little servant who never could.
But isn't that like always?
He's always falling behind. Behind time, behind everyone else.
He's always a minute too late.
And maybe if he wasn't, he could have saved Oz.
Maybe if he wasn't, he'd be here with Oz right now, not this twisted mad-hatter who has his hand so skillfully curled around his throbbing member.
Maybe if he wasn't, he'd be happy.