A/N: Hey people, how's everyone? Sorry it's taking so frickin' for me to update, after my computer was fixed I decided to try and write with more substance since some people pm'ed me asking for longer chapters. Some said they didn't like that the chapters ended right when it was getting good, sorry but that's just how I write, I like to end on a high note. If anyone wants to beta for me, pm me and we'll talk. R&R please, negative feedback is ok as long as you have some actual complaints and aren't just being a cyber-douche. I think the title may not be just right, tell me if you think I should change it or at least shorten it, suggestions welcome. Oh, and it occurred to me that I haven't been putting a disclaimer up.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did, the fight scenes would be horrible and any conflict in the story would be almost nonexistent.
Enjoy, or not, up to you. d (^_^) b
Naruto is running for his life.
Once again, ninjas are chasing him for making trouble. This particular pranking involves a certain mountain with four effigies of four fearsome fighters, also known as the Hokage Monument.
"Naruto, stop and get back here you little cretin, you're not getting out of this one with special treatment," yells a Chunin chasing Naruto and trying to inflict punishment on him.
"The entire village treats the kid like a hero and he still acts like a brat. If I didn't know Kushina, I'd say this kid needs more boundaries," thought a Jounin watching the entire scene while showing as much interest as Sasuke would toward any of his future fan girls.
"Hehe, looks like Naruto's at it again, he's always trying to get a few laughs," muses a civilian villager smirking at Naruto being chased like the dog that stole the steak at a backyard barbecue.
"Oh come on guys, I didn't do anything and you know it," Naruto accused his pursuers, "that is, as long as you can't see glow-in-the-dark invisible paint," he silently snickers thinking about the eye patch, mustache, glasses, and devil goatee he painted onto each Hokage respectively.
Just as Naruto ducks into an alley, he feels a hand on his shoulder and jumps three feet in the air (no minor feat for a five-year-old, especially considering Naruto is only just over four-feet to begin with).
"How's it going, Naruto?" asks Iruka Umino, a Genin who Naruto looks up to like a brother, even if he doesn't approve of Naruto's pranks and has on occasion even been the one to capture him, Iruka always just says it's his job to teach him right from wrong.
"Hi Nii-san, just getting my daily exercise like a good little future Hokage," Naruto was wearing a foxy grin as he knew Iruka wasn't buying a word of what he was saying.
"So, what did you do this time?" Iruka inquires noticing the ninjas running past the alley.
"They saw me up on the Hokage monument and figured I was pulling a prank, they can't prove nothing," the five-year-old stated smugly.
"I see the 'Orange Demon' has struck again," the sixteen-year-old mused as he ruffled the younger boy's hair.
"Why Nii-san, I don't know what you're talking about. And don't call me that, it hurts my poor little ears. Besides, shouldn't you be getting ready for the Chunin Exams," Naruto responded keeping up his innocent act.
"Yeah, don't change the subject, besides, being one of the few in this village who can even catch you has given me plenty of practice, it's more demanding than any training I could be doing right now. Now, you've got three choices: tell me what you did and take your punishment like a man, don't tell me and I'll tickle it out of you then punish you, or if the tickling doesn't work I'll turn you over to your mom," Iruka knows he's caught the village vandal as the blood drains from Naruto's face, everyone who knows either Kushina and/or Naruto knows that the only person in Konoha who can meat out their own personal justice better than Naruto is Kushina, and even though she does have a soft spot for her son, when the situation calls for it, she would be as big a disciplinarian as needed to rope in the little blonde human typhoon.
"Umm, I think I hear Jiji-san calling, gotta go Nii-san," Naruto tries to hightail it out of there but Iruka's not having any of that.
"I need to talk to him too; why don't I go with you, just to make sure you get there without those guys bothering you?"
"No, that's ok, I'll be fine."
Iruka grabs Naruto by the back of his shirt and pulls him out of the alley. "Come on Naruto, it's time to face the music."
"Are you taking me to Jiji-san or my mom?"
"Let's find out."
"Alright Naruto, let's hear why you were up on the Hokage Monument, and what exactly you were doing up there," Hiruzen Sarutobi, The Third Hokage, questions.
"I couldn't do it, she's just too scary. For all I know she might have killed me for suggesting her son would do anything to the sacred monument without any proof," Iruka thinks to himself while listening to the Hokage scold Naruto on his alleged prank.
"I was just getting a good view of the village, is that so wrong?"
"Normally, no; but when you're involved I'd rather not take the chance that it is. Now quit deflecting, drop the innocent act, and fess up or I'll make sure you don't see your friends until you start the Academy."
Smirking like a hyena with its hand in the cookie jar, "You'll find out when it gets dark."
"Whatever it is, you'll be fixing it until dawn," he may be past his prime, but like hell is a brat like Naruto going to outsmart The Professor. Sarutobi already knows what Naruto has done, curtsey of his crystal ball, and just wants to teach the child a lesson by getting him to admit what he did.
Grumbling under his breath, Naruto decides it's not worth it to drag this discussion out, especially since the special paint he made comes off with water and it's supposed to rain tomorrow night, just enough time for the entire Village Hidden in the Leaves to witness the four Hokages look better than ever in his opinion, particularly that pretty boy Fourth.
"Alright look, I'm not saying I was doing anything up there, but if I were to have done something, the rain will wash it away and all will be right. So, don't worry."
"I already know what you did, now own up to it or I'll make Iruka your teacher when you reach the Academy!"
"How is that a punishment for him, Hokage-sama?" Iruka questions seeing it as more of a punishment for him, basically being stripped of field duty and getting plopped in the Academy.
"Three reasons Iruka; One, I know how PO'd it'll make you be forced to teach before you get your fill of missions; Two, It'll be Naruto's fault; and Three, you'll take out your frustration out on him when he's in you class." The old man explains while smirking at the fact that he knows Naruto knows what this could mean to him.
Iruka turned to Naruto and gave him a death glare filled half way with Killing Intent, "Naruto, tell the Hokage what you did or I'm taking you to your mother, that's not a threat it's a promise," Iruka stated, having the proof he needed if Kushina didn't believe him.
"Fine, I admit it; I painted the faces of the Hokage monument. But, in my defense, it'll come off tomorrow night and it only shows in the dark, so just for one night, let it go, please."
Just then the entire room suddenly chilled to a near-unbearable level. All three males turned around and faced the doorway to the Hokage's office, and promptly wet their pants in fear of who had just entered.
"Naruto, I'll save you the trouble of trying to get out of this and just say this: do you want three months of lock up or community service," the woman known as the Red-Hot Habanero delivers her ultimatum.
Naruto is practically quaking from what his imagination is coming up with in terms of living conditions during lock up and possible tasks for community service, "Umm, if I pick lock up, can I still see Hinata-chan?"
"You'll get to see her long enough to tell her what you did, have her scold you, then not see her again until your punishment is over."
"If I pick community service, do I have to clean off the Monument?"
"Only if the paint doesn't come off when you say it will."
Kushina has a plan, the only thing worse for Naruto than a tongue-lashing from Hinata is her intentionally not speaking to him, thereby forcing him to choose community service, where he would basically be Hiashi's aide for sixteen hours a day. She knows that Hiashi would be okay with this since it would further his match-making plans to bring their children together, he could have Naruto go and keep an eye on Hinata while he was 'attending to some sensitive Clan business he didn't want Naruto to overhear' and eventually just reassign him as her guardian until his punishment was over because 'certain situations keep coming up so often it would just make more sense that way'.
"Okay Mom, I pick community service," Naruto finally replies while keeping his head down so as to not anger his mother further by inadvertently seeming insolent.
"Somehow, I knew you would," the red-haired (unofficial) Mistress of the Namikaze grins.
"Come on, Naruto. I don't want you slacking off on the job, especially on your first day," Kushina calls up to her son in order to get him going to his 'community service', "if you work hard enough, maybe Hiashi-san will give you a break and you can spend some time with Hinata."
She feels a gust of wind blow by and the front door slam, looking around she then realizes that Naruto has just sped out of the house with speed that would make his father at that age look like the tortoise racing against the hare, the first leg of the race not the last one.