Disclaimer: Attention! Attention! This is a warning! Once I finally steal the rights to Harry Potter from J.K Rowling, I expect all of you to keep hush hush about it! I swear, if anyone of you tells them it was me... I shall devour your soul. Or something like that.


Frankly, Harry knew it was coming. Clearly it was inevitable, after the kiss during the final battle, and all the sexual tension building up since fourth year, the whole damn wizarding world had figured it would happen sooner or later. People were almost more surprised by the fact that they weren't together yet.

Actually, after they'd kissed the first time, everyone had just assumed that they were together, but somehow, the two were both so romantically awkward they'd stopped talking to each other for months, trying to avoid the other's face. Eventually they'd come to some unspoken agreement that they would go back to just being friends although anyone with half a brain could see that they were hopelessly in love.

Judging by the fact that neither of them could tell, it could be deduced that both Ron and Hermione were, to be blunt, idiots.

But this was only Harry Potter's humble opinion.

That night when Harry had looked over from his place high atop that stupid Hecklebottome, and finally stopped beating his brains in, he'd thought that finally their troubles were over. The admittedly girlish 'awww' that escaped his lips turned out to be all for nothing. For a split second time had frozen as his two best friends finally stopped their annoying dancing around their feelings. All came to an end as Harry felt a sickening blow to his jaw from the moron who had managed to slip his hands out of Harry's hold. As he looked up, wincing at the bruise that would be forming in the morning, Hermione was fleeing the scene, cheeks red from embarrassment, leaving Ronald with his mouth gaping, stuttering out meaningless blabber.

The poor soul, he really was a blundering idiot.

Ron could only wonder why such a thing would happen to him. That list was foolproof, the twins had guaranteed it.

The twins were actually somewhat surprised that the list had even gotten as much as a kiss from it. In fact, the best part about the entire list was watching the two of them squirm. However, it had been strangely satisfying seeing the fruits of their creative labor, or at least hearing about it. Of course the fact that both of them were so horrible as to be ignoring each other now did put a damper on it.

It had gotten to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore. Harry, Fred and George were unanimous that something had to be done. And evidently, there were two people who needed a good talking to.

The day was Sunday… three weeks after the legendary kiss had happened. That's right, it had been three weeks since Ron or Hermione had uttered a single word to each other.

Two mysterious red heads appeared just outside the door of a Mr. Ronald Weasley, ready to interrogate, and/or torture him if the need arose. It was time that Ronald, figuratively, grew a pair, and went for his girl.

So it was decided that he most definitely was in need of an infamous Weasley twin 'pep talk'.

Hearing the doorbell ring Ron shuffled to the door of his flat, wondering who on earth could be calling on a Sunday. It was his day off after all. It was the perfect time to mope in his pyjamas and eat ice cream. He had even pondered pulling out some old romance movies so he could sit on his couch and cry because his true love hated his guts. Understandably, he was annoyed to have been disturbed.

He was doubly annoyed when it turned out to be his brothers. The brothers who screwed over his love life with their stupid pick-up lines. It'd probably been another trick on their behalf anyways. He couldn't believe he'd fallen for it again.

"Good lord Ronald, what the hell happened to you?" Exclaimed Fred, raising an eyebrow at Ron's wrinkled pyjamas and red rimmed eyes.

"Boy, you look like crap," George chimed in cheerfully.

"Thank you for stopping by and insulting me. Good day," Ron said while slamming the door in his no-good brother's faces. Or at least attempting to. Fred had stuck his foot in the door.

"Ugh! Go away!"

Fred and George looked at each other before barging in anyways and shoving their little brother out of the way.

Ron sighed. He'd grown up with his brothers. He knew there was no way he could get them out without renting a bulldozer and crushing them. And even that wasn't full proof; they were wizards after all.

As the twins stepped in the moved and threw themselves down onto his couch, sprawling out and stealing the bowl of chocolate chip ice cream on the coffee table. Ron felt as though he was about to cry as he watched them devour his last bit of sweet ice creamy goodness…

"What do you want?"

"Ronniekins, is that anyway to treat your loving and concerned older brothers?"

"It is when they ruined my life," grunted the boy, who promptly sat down on the floor, since his only couch was occupied.

Maybe he was hallucinating, but Ron could have sworn he saw a flash of guilt in each of their eyes.

"Yes, well we can assure you that was purely accidental," Fred said with a sheepish sort of grimace. Ron snorted.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"This is really good ice cream, where did you get it?" Asked George, who was still eating Ron's only friend left in the world.

Ron sent a glare of disgust at his brother who grimaced also.

"Maybe I'll just marry my ice cream. Then we can be happy forever. My ice cream loves me at least," muttered Ron.

"If that's the case, why is your ice cream cheating on you with George?"

"Your comment is not appreciated," Ron growled. He clearly wasn't amused. "Seriously, why are you here?"

"We've decided that you are a moron-"

"And we've come to give you some brotherly advice!"

Ron rolled his eyes. Yes, that'd worked so well the last time.

"Apparently the list we gave you was more effective then we'd actually planned for it to be-"

"Wait, so it was just a prank?" Ron wasn't amused, to say the least.

"Urm… well yes that was how it started off…" George winced. Perhaps it was a bit of a harsh prank. Seeing the murderous glint in their brother's eyes Fred jumped in quickly.

"But, we're really sorry, so we've come to help you!"

"For real this time," added George.

"Can't you see? Hermione hates me." This time both twins snorted at the same time. It was a little eerie when they did that…

"Look, while that list was originally for our own amusement, it obviously worked to some extent," George explained.

"Therefore, Hermione must like you back, to some extent."

Ron's brow furrowed. That didn't make sense. She'd run away after he'd kissed her. That generally wasn't a good sign when it came to girls.

"No she doesn't. She thinks I'm an idiot."

"Well that's because you are an idiot," said Fred.

"But to be fair, she's a bit of an idiot too," threw in George. They were both so in love with each other yet neither of them could see it.

"Look, just keep using the lines dear brother. We can promise you that by then end of them, she won't be able to say no."

"Come on Ron, don't give up on her. Just be persistent!"

With that the two of them stood up and headed to the door, leaving Ron to think about their words.

"By the way, thanks for the ice cream!"


A/N: Okay, so since I'm a psychic, I know exactly what you guys are thinking. It something along the lines of "What the HELL was that? You don't upload anything for FOUR FREAKING MONTHS and THIS is ALL we get? You BLEEEP BLEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEPIN' BLEEEEEEPER from the depths of BLEEEEEEEEP..." etc. So before you try and mob me, let me just say; This is not the end of the chapter! Think of it as part 1. I'm working on the next part, which should be infinitely longer, and once I'm done it, I'll turn this chapter into one big one! Let's just say that I promised people I'd have something up by tuesday, and I'm being forced to leave the confines of my bedroom for the rest of the night, so I won't be able to get this finished :'( But the rest is coming! I'll try and have it up by the end of this week, worry not!

Think of this as proof that I'm not actually being a lazy ass and not doing anything. I actually was working on this, so I figured it'd be better to post something up instead of breaking a deadline that I gave myself... again.

Anyways, feel free to review me, go all caps lock on me for being a moron, you know the usual... But hey, the rest will be up soon! Hopefully...