Author's Note: This is what happens when you combine the worst subject on earth and one of the most wonderful musicals on earth - an extremely disgusting parody. Wendla is parodied as Variable, a typical teenager failing math. Melchior is Vector, a Mathlete and closet classroom anarchist. Moritz is Monte; Ilse, Linear; Thea, Tally; Anna, Analemma; Martha, Mantissa; Ernst, Equation; Hanschen, Fraction...and many more!


SINE AWAKENING
A Nerd's Tragedy

ACT ONE:
SCENE ONE

[VARIABLE is in her pajamas, attempting to finish her math homework.]

Teacher, You Bore Me

Teacher, you bore me
Teacher, you gave me
Too much to answer
You made me so sad

Teacher, the line graphs
Teacher, the angles
Can't sleep in my home, or even at school

I pray that tonight,
Friends will call or text me
They punch their cell phones
And hope they have load
But I just lie here
'Cause I can't do my homework
And when it's dawn, my score will be zero

Teacher, you bore me
Teacher, you gave me
Too much to answer
You made me so mad

Teacher, the line graphs
Teacher, the angles
Can't sleep in my home, or even at school

MRS. BERGMANN: Your sister just scored another 100 on her math test!

VARIABLE: [Cynically] Yipee.

MRS. BERGMANN: Variable…Your grades…They're so…so…so…

VARIABLE: [Blinks innocently] Epic?

MRS. BERGMANN: [Horrified] NO! I mean, erm…

VARIABLE: Hmph!

MRS. BERGMANN: I think it's time for you to learn how to answer math problems properly.

VARIABLE: [Wails] Mama!


How was it? -Cringes and Crosses Fingers- Critique is always appreciated.