The thoughts of Jack when Sam is in the infirmary

Jack went to the infirmary where Carter was lying. On their mission they got in a fight and one of the blasts hit carter. She was extremely damaged. And was lying in the infirmary for about 24 hours, and still didn't wake up. He was worried about her, so he went to see her. When he entered he walked directly to her bed. Took a chair and places it on the side of her bed. Once he sat down he looked towards the woman that was lying on the bed. Then he was thinking, on things that passed his mind, in the days they've been through.

The crappy feeling that he didn't even tried to help her out made him act worse. 'He blames himself of something that happened, but he knew he couldn't do something about it. Why didn't he just admitted he loved her in the first place. Guess showing his feelings was never his thing. But now it's in sake of her life, he doesn't care about the regulations. If she might die, he wouldn't get over it and will be willingly to go after her. Coz, if Sam dies, he doesn't want to live anymore, coz, living a life without her is just impossible. Living in this life, without seeing that lovely and seductive smile and those adorable, smart en gorgeous blue ocean eyes. Is a life as a prisoner in the go'aulds ship, in one of those torture rooms. Where they might kill him hundreds of times. Even then it would feel much pain fuller. The thoughts of it makes him really sick, it let him feel worse than he even is. Her eyes, her body everything he loved about her. How she always bites her lower lip if she feels uncomfortable or irritating. Even sometimes shocked of not knowing the situation what's happening in front of her. It's just another torture with a blast. Making these happenings more painfully. Thor used to handle these things with patient. He has feelings but as Teal'c he takes a lot of these things more learnable than a huge lost. Or well, it's Major Samantha Carter we're talking about. Sure he wouldn't be leaving this as a no-big-deal issue. Losing a great member of the sg-1 team, is a big deal. Especially for him. Losing her is dying! No out-way for him. Stuck in his mind about thoughts. He once lost a family, and didn't want to, that it happens again. It was also a huge lost. After long years the lost of his son Charlie, didn't stop him of thinking what a fool he was. If he just put his gun in the safe, none of this was happened. And his son would still be alive, his wife hadn't left him. All these maintain things got him crazy. Once he was done with a huge step to move on. There she was, Samantha carter. His world instantly was knocked out of balance. The sight was breathtaking. Such a beautiful woman, he just couldn't resist her. He thought a few years back everything was gonna be ok. But no, when he saw her laying with that dying parasite in her, he just felt broken and helpless. And when she had that entity in her. He was told to let her go. Which he just couldn't. but somehow he always knows to carry on. But now, god! Why this always had to happen to her. Now suddenly when all things went good between Sam and him. That whole Za'tarc thing, wasn't either a comfortable time for them. But they went over that. Confess his feelings are just going to be harder, when she lays half-death on the bed in the infirmary. Get his mind on something else, was also a huge problem. When he wants his thoughts on something else, he just went for a walk. But it always leads him back at her lab. Where an alien-device lies ready to be researched by her. His beloved scientist. Who he always has a good band with. just knock on her door, and he could see that smile that is only there for him. And his day couldn't be any better. Enough to carry on till the next day. And when he is sitting in her chair. He wonders what she would do right now. He knows she just would talk her scientist-techno-babble 'which he not always understands' to Daniel, who always interrupts them by the word 'Whoops' like something is going on. But to see her talking, he knows she is somewhere in her own world. Where nobody would see her, and where she does the things she loved. He didn't quit listen by himself. But his thoughts were somewhere else, perhaps his cabin and his pond. With Sam next to him. Laying with her head on his chest, warm and safe. His head against her blond hair. Maybe with two kids a girl and a boy. Named by Grace and Jackson. Maybe another who is coming and her or his name would be… No no no, stop it! For crying out loud! Jack get your thoughts checked. Crazy fool! Damned, Carter is still almost dying and you wondering a dreamy land with a family with her. Wake up, that's never going to happen, till now, that is.' As he looks to her face, his thoughts were wondering again.' This life only includes pain and confusing moments. No single rest or peace is left for him. So maybe his life isn't this hard, for him at least. He was chosen to be a part of this. From the day he was born. He used to follow the rules. All the other things like teaching, mechanic or ordeal things that normally are waiting in the future for normal people is never been a thing for him. He always knew he wasn't normal, Neither special. Something in between, that made him feel worse. He only wants to be normal. Who can live a normal life, with a wife and kids. Nothing ordinary in life. He doesn't even wants to know about the whole stargate thing. But somehow he knew, that it wasn't just a job. He had a family in there. Also friends included. And if there wasn't any Stargate, there wasn't any Sam. So he's very thankful of that. Actually the only thing he cares about is Sam. The best and smartest person in the whole universe. And there's no-one who can say she's not, if he's near her. Having a friend like Sam, is the best adventure that had ever happened. She's the one and only. An he will fight for her. And if she's gone, he's going after her. He's determined not to stay here alone. His only wish, that god knows about her and spare her. She's like a jewel that isn't allowed to be touched by strangers. And you never, ever may let her fall, or hurt her. As beautiful as an angel from the sky, and he's the one who has really fallen for her. Other's may have once, but never as true as him. The other's certainly want to share the bed with her, because of her admired body. But no, he loves her because of who she is. Smart, tender, gorgeous, brave, sweet, nice, a heart of gold! The best thing that ever happened to him. And gog only knows what it feels like when she's near him. The fibers when she's close, give him goosebumps. Every touch, the feeling and sound how she utter his name, sometimes. Even with if she calls him, like she's demanded to. The sound 'Sir' that comes outta her. Just brings him into heaven. It brings out the best in him. Lost land far away of all other kind of things. A life with him and her. 'so sweet' he always thinks. God bless this woman who right now is fighting for her life! Coz, she has a right to live!' he suddenly stops when a sound was coming from the bed in front of him. 'Sir?' Sam said. ' Everything is alright, just get some rest. I'll stay I won't go away. I promise' he said. ' Ok' she said when her eyes closed slowly. And then again she was sleeping. And Jack, he will stay by her side. Whatever happens.

The end!