Lucius Malfoy sat behind his desk and tried hard not to sneer at the goblin in front of him. "Please pardon me if i'm a little slow Broken Root, but why didn't you warn me about this situation?"
The goblin adjusted his accursed tie as he nervously cleared his throat, "The traitor king shielded the brat's accounts from everyone i'm locked out of all three accounts now. It's not as bad as it seems, Milord. We managed to transfer seventy-five percent of the liquid assets from the Black family through several dummy accounts, who have since been turned to your private account. Unfortunately we were unable to get the returned bride price for Narcissa nor could we save the artifacts as only the current Lord Black has prerogative over their distribution."
Lucius internally let out a small measure of relief. "It couldn't be helped I suppose. You have indeed earned your extra pay for this time. Have the Lupin accounts been liquidated as well?"
Broken Root seemed to brighten as he grinned evilly, "A full ninety-five percent of the liquid assets, you are currently one of the ten richest wizards in the world."
"Good, wars are won by the golden rule "He who has the most gold, gets to rule" we can't afford to be ill prepared next time."
"Our Master will be most pleased to learn that you haven't totally failed him," a voice said from the hallway as it opened the door to the study.
"Severus, what are you doing here?" Lucius asked as he rose from his chair. His wand was held discreetly in his hand.
"I find my eyes have been opened for the first time in a long while, old friend. I trust you have put some thought into a little revenge on the Potter Brat."
"You seem more like yourself that usual, something happened recently I presume."
"Indeed, I recently fully fought off the mind control potion Dumbledore has been feeding me for fourteen years. He thought he could use potions on a potion master, such arrogance is unbecoming."
"The Dark Lord has reserved the task of eliminating Potter for himself, but his wives are fair game. My only hindrance is getting something into the Brides Box at the first event."
"I may be able to help with that, My Lords," Broken Root said. "I have several minor flunkies under my control that would love to hurt the traitor's pet for the right price."
Lucius smiled, it felt good to know that revenge for his slight was soon to be his.
It was late Saturday evening when Luna and Stubby made it back to the Ravenclaw tower. Luna started up the stairs to her dorm room when Sirius Black plopped his butt down in the Ravenclaw common room and refused to move. Seven years of being under Professor McGonagall had taught him few things were as important as the rule that boys were in no way, shape, or form allowed into the girl's dormitory.
Luna tried treats, ordering, and even pleading to get the large black dog up to her bed. Finally in exasperation she flopped down in one of the overstuffed reading chairs and started to sob. At the sound of Luna's tears, Sirius started to panic. He tried wagging his tail, he tried putting his head in her lap, and he tried licking her face. It didn't work. So reluctantly and with his tail tucked between his legs, Sirius started up the stairs.
As he reached the proper landing for Luna's dorm, Sirius looked around in slight awe. This was the first time, much to his undying shame, that he had been up to a girl's dorm. It was much the same as the boy's dorms but it had a completely different feel about it. He didn't know if it was the faint smell of make-up and perfume or the pleasant pictures and color schemes. With more confidence he marched up to the bed that smelled the most like Luna and jumped up. Luna tried to scold him for getting up on her bed but his smiling doggy face peaking out from the covers was just too cute so she decided to let him sleep with her just this once. She had switched into her night gown and giggled when Stubby had hidden his head, "I'm not your type silly. You know you're not the person I pictured sleeping with on my wedding night but I guess you'll do. That is if you don't snore."
Sirius let a slightly offended woof before sprawling out. The little blond just jumped into bed and snuggled up to the furry bed warmer. Sirius let a doggy sigh of contentment, this was so wrong but what the hell, it wasn't like he was planning on having sex with her. Sirius relaxed as he gave some thought to what exactly "his type" of woman was. For the longest time he considered women to be like cheese, some were subtle, some were strong, some were a little sweet, some were nutty and fortunately few were smelly. He found that the ones he liked best were a little toasted with a glass of wine. His mind finally wound down to the lull of the lithe blonde's breathing. He was just drifting off when he heard a strange sound.
"Nargle," a muffled but pained voice said from by the dresser. Luna tensed into a little ball burying her head under the pillow.
"I told you to watch where you're going," a female voice whispered. "You hit that damn thing every time we do this."
"Sorry, let's just finish teaching the little bitch a lesson, I got a paper due Monday."
Stubby lifted his head from Luna's back and saw two lit wand tips as they made their way over to Luna's bed. Stubby's ears flattened out as he listened to the prankster wannabes. 'So that's what a Nargalite was.'
"You got the powder?" one voice asked the other.
"Yeah just a little of this and all her hair falls out permanently."
Stubby had heard enough. Sure he had done similar stuff in school, but the Marauders never did anything to permanent disfigure a person, Snivilious didn't count as a person.
Both girls froze as the low growl emanated from somewhere on the bed. It was a primal growl, the kind that cut through eons of evolution to when the height of personal security was flinging your own shit from trees. They watched in growing horror as what they assumed to be a rather ugly blanket rose up on four massive legs and watched them with eyes that caught the light from their wands and seemed to ignite them with an unholy internal fire. As they managed to find the courage to take a step backwards, the unholy beast intensified the growl into something that sounded like "Run" to the panicking girls. Not needing to be told twice they ran down the stairs as fast as their feet could carry them with Stubby nipping at their heels.
The entire Ravenclaw house was awoken by a barking dog. The source of the barking was quickly traced to the common room where a large mutt had treed a pair of fourth year girls up the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw. Not a one of the students wanted to make a move toward the dog that had a pair of wands sticking out of his jaws like some kind of inverted saber-toothed cat. Filius quietly walked up to the snarling dog and asked, "Would you please let my students down?"
Sirius gave him an are-you-stupid look and resumed staring at the frightened girls.
"Would either Miss Jackson or Miss Turner care to tell me what is going on?" the littlest professor tried again.
One of the frightened girls called down, "We didn't do anything to that thing."
Sirius snorted violently at that and the twin wand tips glowed before a blast of fire shot up the statue narrowly missing the girls.
"Would you care to try again?" the short professor asked, "Obviously the dog disagrees with you."
No one noticed the grey eyed blond as she gently laid a hand on Stubby's back. "They appear to have dropped this vial by my bed Professor."
Filius took the vial and examined it carefully. "Why did you have a depilatory dust by Mrs. Potter's bed?"
"We didn't have anything by Potter's bed, he's in Gryffindor."
Filius could feel the headache starting behind his eyes. "Listen close, all of you, as of yesterday there are between seven or eight ladies that have a right to call themselves Mrs. Potter. The former Miss Lovegood is indeed married to Mister Potter and while they are not sharing quarters at this point in the union, I assure you it is completely legal. Now I will only give this warning once, Mister Potter is by nature a protective person, he has been known to fight trolls, giant spiders, three-headed dogs, and actually killed a basilisk to protect people he barely knew. Now that he has several wives, what do you think he will do you someone that harms one of them?"
The vast majority of the upper year Ravenclaws paled, "You wouldn't let him harm us would you sir?" the now nervous Miss Jackson asked.
"Miss Jackson, I don't think it will be a matter of me letting him do anything. What makes you think that I have the power to stop him from doing anything he really wants to do?"
"Come on Stubby, we are going back to sleep," Luna grinned as she led the big dog away. "And spit those things out, you don't know where they have had them."
Stubby complied with Luna's request, it had been a good while but he still remembered that particular taste anywhere. Remus was right, you really had to watch the smart ones.
Monday came and Madam Pomfrey was setting out the traditional anatomically correct animated dolls, for the demonstration portion of "The Talk", when Emily and Appoline came in to the infirmary.
"Could I trouble you for whatever it is that you witches use instead of aspirin? Appoline here has a splitting headache and are those dolls doing what I think they're doing?"
"Oh don't mind them, they're just eager for "The Talk". I'm going to give it to the Potter Wives today," Poppy said as she threw a little water on the pair of cavorting dolls.
She almost dropped the headache remedy when Emily let out an ear piercing squeal. "Can I help?"
Poppy just nodded hesitantly and Emily made another squeal and clapped her hands happily. "Wonderful, I never did get to give Hermione the full talk, just the one about not doing things until she's married. Now if I just had a way to get home and get my posters."
"Ange can be helping Madame Docteur?" a voice said right behind Emily.
After the amused witches tried to peel Emily off the ceiling, they agreed that Ange, a House elf of the Delacour's would take Emily home to get some charts and other things from the Granger home.
Harry, the assorted wives, and in-laws were sitting down for breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry had just finished buttgering Luna's toast when a house elf popped in right beside him, gave a crisp salute, and presented him with a letter. It had been addressed to Lord Harry Potter and looked suspiciously like the handwriting on one of the Hogwarts acceptance letters.
Dear Lord Potter-Black-Lupin,
Please accept our humblest apologies in the delay in the preparation of your married quarters. They are now complete and your personal items have been discreetly moved. If your wives wish to have anything moved call for one of my elves. You will find your new quarters on the seventh floor by the portrait of Edmund the Idiot. Again you have our sincerest apologies and we hope you and your wives enjoy the rest of your stay under our care.
The table sat there in shocked amazement at the letter that Harry eventually passed around. "Did the castle actually send you a letter," Neville asked in amazement as he read the letter for the third time.
Luna chimed in "Obviously the school is a little mad that Harry no longer attends Hogwarts and is trying to make amends before next year."
"The school wants Harry back so it's bribing him. Ok, this is ridiculous even for Harry," Hermione said as she snatched the letter from Neville.
"This it better than my wireless shows," Carmine Zabini said as she read the note.
"So how do you get a radio to work in this place?" Daniel Granger asked, "I've been wanting to get Hermione a computer for Boxing Day but I was scared that it wouldn't work when she came home."
Amelia interjected, "Magicals don't really have too much of a problem with electronics once they've grown out of the accidental magic phase, Susan hasn't fryed a radio in at least five years."
About this point one long bearded headmaster walked up to the group, "Ah, it pleases me to welcome the first Muggles ever to visit our illustrious school, I am Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, OM (first class), Headmaster of HSWW, SMICW, CWW."
Not missing a beat Emily Grainger stood, "Doctor Lady Emily Desdemona Grainger nee Wingate, Duchess of Gloucester, DD, DM, DBA, DClinPsych, DMus, DUniv, PWA."
Daniel stage whispered to Amelia, "My lovely wife collects degrees."
"PWA?" Amelia asked.
"President of the Women's Auxiliary at our church."
"Ahh," Amelia said seeing someone out title Albus.
"Thank you for the welcome Headmaster, but I for one am intrigued to see these new quarters," Emily said as she and most of the rest of the table got up.
It was spotless as the house elves had enthusiastically worked overtime getting it ready. Harry looked over his new quarters with some trepidation. He was used to sleeping in small spaces and the vast rooms the castle had provided for him was a little frightening. His quarters had a main communal study room complete with fireplace that provided transportation to each of the four house common rooms. It had several easy chairs and couches strategically arranged and bookshelves lined the walls filled with the collective tomes of three of the greatest families in the wizarding world.
One thing that Harry learned rather quickly was that all his wives liked books a lot, some just a little more than others. Surprisingly it was Fleur that they had to forcibly extract from the various tomes, part of the Lupin Collection had a surprising number of books in French. A pleasant surprise to Harry had been the addition of a small kitchenette. The married quarters had included it because at the time it was felt that a wife should be made to prepare meals. It was not coincidence that should her attempts be inedible that the house elves could fill in easily. One of the sticking points for Harry was there was just one bedroom and it had a GIGANTIC bed. This thing earned capital letters as it was close to fifteen feet long and twenty five feet wide. If Harry didn't know better he thought he heard the castle laughing at him the first time he laid eyes on his new bedroom. The Elves had tastefully decorated different parts of the room in various shades of the Hogwart's houses.
It was debated and ultimately agreed upon that the wives would keep their current sleeping arrangements for now.
The Potter Wives and various maternal figures were assembled in the Medical Wing awaiting Dr. Granger's lecture on married life. Amelia was there just because she felt a little bad that Susan had learned most of what she knew by hanging around the Aurors' offices. Apoline, who had finally gotten rid of her headache, had Gabrielle firmly planted in front of her because she figured it would save time trying to explain it to her this summer when Gabrielle would potentially start veela puberty. Mrs. Weasley was there because she felt that Mrs. Granger, being only a simple muggle after all, might miss something in her lecture. Hey the woman had seven kids, she must have been doing something right. Blaise's mother sat demurely only smacking Blaise's hand every now and then when the neo girl tried to scratch something inappropriate. The rest of the female staff had shown up because this promised to be some cheap comedy or blackmail material if nothing else. Luna had drug Stubby along just because she lacked a maternal figure and well, the dog kept looking rather weirdly at her dormmates. Sirius just sat down at Septima Vector's feet and tried to covertly look up her skirt. Emily had somehow gotten an old sheet projector to work in the magical environment. She tapped the white projector screen with a pointer rod and called for quiet. "Now first things first, we will cover pertinent anatomy and then we will move onto the fun parts. Has anyone not had their menarche?"
Three hours later
"And this position is called "The Slippery Monkey", please note the key use of the hands for balance and the angle of the left knee of the female as this increases stimulation for the male by thirty five percent and the female by seventy percent. Now does anyone have any questions about the last ten positions before we move on to multiple partner positions?"
Silence was shared by all the females and one really confused dog in the room. After the positions talk had started they had to pause as Amelia went and got every female auror and auror student she could find, hell she even brought in several retired female aurors. The teachers had fetched every girl over second year and moved the lecture to the Great Hall. Apolline had quickly flooed the veela colony in France and arranged for the Matriarch to come to the lecture, who promptly contacted the rest of the veela colonies so that now there were eight enraptured veela matrons present. The poor anatomically correct dolls were taking notes, although the male doll kept looking at its crotch with a look of doubt on its face. Hermione was sure she would NEVER live this down and knew that going to Beauxbatons wouldn't help as most of the females from there were in attendance and Durmstrang had decided to show up too so even the dark path was a bust. Hedwig had shown up at one point dragging a confused Harry who had yet to be able to stop blushing, much less look anyone in the eyes. The girls heard a tentative cough, "Yes Harry, you have a question?" Emily asked kindly.
"Is doing it with multiple women even allowed?" the-boy-who-was-in-serious-danger-of-losing-his-virginity-after-the-lecture asked.
Emily barely kept the grin off her face, "Normally no, but that little incident with the marriage contracts has left you in a unique position. Speaking of unique positions, if you will direct your attention to the next picture, this is called "The Inverted Triangle"".
Luna smiled as she looked at Harry standing in the moonlight setting up a telescope. She covertly cast a locking charm on the only door to the tower roof and sauntered over to Harry. "Thank you for helping me with my Astronomy project," the cute blonde said in her usual dreamy tone. "I just can't seem to find Jupiter.
Harry grinned as he fiddled with some knobs on the new telescope Ragnock had provided for him. The Goblin King said that it was a wonder how in the hell the students found anything with those archaic telescopes they had been using. Ragnock, who unbeknowst to everyone was an avid amature astonomer, thought they were little more than glorified spy glasses and proceeded to spring for several new high powered telescopes for the school.
Harry completely missed the look that passed over Luna's face as she watched him bend over to adjust one of the legs of the telescope. The Ravenclaw licked her lips are had to fight to keep from reaching out and pinching him. "Are you ready Harry?" she asked as she checked to make sure that at least two buttons on her blouse were undone, there was always time to undo more of them if this went off like she hoped.
"Just about," Harry said as he sighted the telescope one last time. "There we go. Look at this Luna, we have a perfect view of the Great Red Spot."
"Really," Luna said as she pressed her chest up against Harry's back. "Let me see, oh isn't that lovely," she said as she covertly draped an arm around his shoulders and brought their heads close together while she peered into the eyepiece.
Harry heard a fluttering of air and a small shove knocked him off balance. He fell toward Luna who turned just in time to catch Harry's lips with her own. Harry tensed at the unusual contact and opened his mouth to say apologize just as Luna licked her lips, decided that she rather enjoyed that and dived in tongue first.
On the parapets an assembly of owls lead by Hedwig, who looked particularly smug, hooted and barked encouragement as they ate popcorn and watched the floorshow.
Fleur decided that having a husband that butchered her native language was something she just couldn't let stand, so she spent most of her time with Harry teaching Harry the fine art of speaking French. Not that Harry minded per say as he loved languages and Fleur's system of rewards,i.e. small kisses for correct pronunciation and longer ones for entire proper sentences, was awesome to a teenage boy. She even hinted at what would happen when he managed to recite the Lord's Prayer completely in French. Needless to say Harry's ex-classmates were getting tired of trying to decipher what in the hell Harry was mumbling all the time.
Harry thanked God that Professor Mcgonagall... er Minnie, that still sounded weird to Harry, had took him to her room and shown him pictures and told stories of his parents time at Hogwarts. It was nice really and even enjoyable, although Harry had to fight hard to ignore Professor Mcgonagall, damn it, Minnie's new and vastly improved figure.
"Will you please sit the bloody hell down," Daphne said as she and Tracy watched the tall neo-girl pace a groove in the floor. "You're making us nauseous."
Blaise continued as if she hadn't heard the girl fussing at her, probably because she hadn't. "Where in Merlin's name is he?"
"Uh, Blaise?" Daphne asked as Tracy got up in front of Blaise to try and sit her down.
"He's supposed to be here to pick me up for this date thing at six o'clock," Blaise asked as she dodged Tracy's attempt at grabbing her. "What time is it now?"
"Ten past six," Daphne said. "Listen Blaise."
"I mean he said "dress casual". What by Hippolyta's left tit does "dress casual" mean? Is that school robes, or khakis? I mean does he want to see me in a skirt or trousers?"
"Blaise!" Daphne said with more force.
"What kind of date does he have in mind? Are we going dancing or out to eat? Should I get a snack first?"
"Would you stop a minute Blaise!"
"Will he want to hold hands? What if he wants to snog?" Blaise gasped as she grabbed Tracy by her shirt and lifted her two inches off the ground. "What if he doesn't want to snog?"
Staring nose to nose with her formerly male friend Tracy threatened, "If you don't set me down this instant, I am going to snog you."
"Oi Bitch," a frustrated Daphne shouted.
"WHAT?" Blaise roared as she dropped Tracy on her butt.
"Did you put up your usual silencing charms on the door?"
Blaise opened her mouth to call that question ridiculous when she stopped dead in her tracks. "I don't remember."
Blaise rushed over to the door and flung it open. What greeted her was the site of Harry falling through the now open door. Harry was being interrogated by several Slytherin witches who were subtlety and not so subtlety dropped hints as to what was expected of him that evening. Slytherin girls watched each other's backs, even if said back hadn't been female a week ago. Blaise looked down at her husband in mild shock, "Have you been out there long?"
"Not long, been here about fifteen minutes," Harry grinned up at her.
"How can someone make falling on their arse so damn cute?" Tracy asked the room in general.
Blaise picked her husband up off the floor and marched him out of the Slytherin dorms. It took her almost to the Great Hall before she remembered she had absolutely no idea what they were going to do that evening. "OK Potter spill, where are we going?"
Harry chuckled nervously, "Back to my new dorm, I'm cooking supper."
Later that night:
Every Slytherin girl over second year was waiting in the common room, the younger years had been sent to bed as it was getting late and no male, not even Snape, was stupid enough to brave venturing into that mess. It was almost eleven before Blaise walked through the Slytherin Portal. The girls were completely silent as the tall yellow haired neo girl practically floated across the room before depositing herself lightly in a chair. Raven Smithers (seventh year) was the first to break the silence, "So what did he do that's got you in such a good mood?"
All ears were on Blaise as she sighed contentedly, "He can cook."
"That's it?" Daphne asked with no small measure of disbelief. "He can cook?"
Blaise was starting to lose the dreamy expression when she answered, "That's not all he did. He took me back to his new dorm and made the single best meal I've ever eaten. It was just pub grub but damn if it wasn't good. We then watched this Muggle thing, a tell-e or some such, that was like a painting but you could change what is shows. We sat on the loveseat and watched muggle sports, a football match."
"Potter's got Sky Sports?" Tracy practically yelled. "Bugger me, we're getting that installed as soon as we can."
Tracy wilted a little under the confused gazes of the other Slytherin girls. "So that's it?" Morgana McAbber (sixth year) asked.
"We sat on a small couch, drank butterbeer and tossed crisps at the bad calls."
"We were kinda expecting something a little more romantic," Millicent said.
"He didn't treat me like a frilly giggly girl," the neo girls said. "He treated me like me."
Daphne sighed dreamily as the magnitude of what Blaise said to the group sunk in, "I'm glad you had a good night."
"It was wonderful, especially when he started rubbing my feet, Merlin's blue balls he has magic hands."
"Damn it girl, quit leaving out the juicy parts," Tracy roared.
Harry and Hermione stood outside Madam Puddifoot for five minutes staring in at the assembled pink hearts and frilly decorations. They took in the loving couples gazing longingly over the cups of tea and sighing in lust/love at each other.
"So, you want to go get a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?" Harry asked
"Oh thank God, Yes," Hermione said in relief as she grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him away. "I was scared you were actually going to make me go in there.".
The day of the first event finally arrived and the atmosphere was electric. The stands were divided into four sections, one for the Durmstrang students and countrymen, one for Beauxbaton student and citizens, and the largest was for the Hogwarts and the English citizens. The fourth, and smallest, was surprisingly made up of Goblins who were waving clan banners and generally making a nuisance of themselves with drinking and singing, "E's ypuid du freb cusapuyo'c ycc."
Filius had managed to snag a spot in the box reserved for the families of the contestants. No one really objected when Hagrid took a seat as well. After about five minutes of the Goblin's boisterous song Minerva finally asked, "Exactly what is it that they are singing?"
Filius managed to blush a little, "It's an old goblin warsong that is traditionally sung before battle."
"It's catchy it is," Hagrid said as he started clapping along with the rhythm. "They keep repeating that same verse, what's it mean?"
"Loosely translated, it means "I'm preparing to be victorious against an opponent."
"What's the exact translation?" Minerva asked as she tried to memorize the catchy song for the next quidditch match.
Filius couched, "I'm about to whip somebody's ass."
'Definitely have to teach the team that one,' Minerva thought. "Out of idle curiosity, how do you say "we are" in Goblin?"
"Fa yna or fa'na if you want to say something like we're."
Harry fought hard not to pace as he waited for his turn at the dragons. He vaguely heard the cheers for Cedric and Victor but he almost had a heart attack when he heard the gasps from the crowd during Fleur's turn.
Percy just gave him a sad look, "I'm sorry you have to do this Harry," he said. "Let me check your wand and you can get this farce over with."
Harry reluctantly handed his wand over. As Percy was inspecting his wand he can't look Harry in the eyes. "Harry, I was wondering if you could help me with something? I need to apologize, I am quitting the Ministry at the end of the year. Fudge's under secretary offered me a promotion but she also gave me an ultimatum, dump my "mudblood girlfriend" or be fired. I love Penny more than life itself. I don't know what to do with the family now, Dad was right, somethings are more important than rules".
Both wizards head snapped toward the tent entrance as they suddenly heard screams coming from the crowd. One of the lackeys burst into the tent, "Someone's in with the dragon." Harry's heart sank as a familiar feeling of dread overtook him. He ran up the ramp to the arena before anyone could stop him. He entered the stadium just as a blue light washed over the top of the arena sealing it closed. Percy, on the outside of the barrier, looked down in horror as he noticed he still held Harry's wand in his hand.
Harry frantically searched the rock strewn floor until he saw the massive dragon snapping at some boulders. He didn't hear the wizards that were seconds behind him pound impotently on the blue barrier, the only thing he saw was a fiery mane of hair dodge between the boulders. "Please God, I don't ask for much in life, but let me save her," the young wizard prayed as he started to sprint toward his wife.
Ginny screamed as she dodged behind another boulder. Somehow a portkey took her from the stands where she was chatting with the other Potter Wives to the middle of the dragon's nest. Naturally this enraged the mother dragon who tried to flambe her. Years of playing quidditch gave her the reflexes to scramble to relative safety. Ginny panted as she tried to think of something, anything that her two plus years of magical education that she could use against a full grown dragon. She was drawing a blank.
The Dragon took that moment to peer over the top of the boulder she was hiding behind. She screamed the first spell that came to mind.
The mucus bats came out of the dragon's nose and furiously attacked it. She rapidly ran for one of the exits as the dragon lit the mucus bats on fire disintegrating them.
She cursed as her foot slipped on one of the stray rocks strewn around the arena. She couldn't stand as the pain shot up her leg when she tried to scramble to her feet. Ginny watched helplessly as her death stalked her on four massive legs. She saw her life flash before her eyes as the great beast inhaled preparing to unleash flaming death.
The assembled masses looked on in horror as the young witch fought for her life. Several people were injured when their spells rebounded off the blue barrier. Already Dumbledore and Bill Weasley were down by the entrance desperately trying to break the ward. Molly had her head buried in Arthur's shoulder crying, she was unable to watch as her daughter fought for her life. When the dragon lined the Weasley daughter up for a blast of fire, a blur slammed into the dragon knocking it's head back. The blur materialized into the form of Harry Potter, his eyes were blazing with an internal green light.
The young wizard charged almost faster than the eye could track before launching into the air. Each blow the young wizard delivered upon the dragon sounded like thunder. Years of being bullied and beaten by his cousin and his gang had left Harry with a surprising amount of knowledge in the art of street fighting.
Unfortunately none of that prepared him for fighting a beast whose shoulder was taller than he was. As Harry dodged the claws the dragon's tail came around and hit him from behind knocking him across the stadium. Harry shook his head to clear the ringing in his ears. Ginny's scream caught what little attention he could muster.
He raised his hand, forgetting that he wasn't holding a wand and yelled the first thing that came to his addled mind, "Expecto Personum. A ball of white energy built up in his hand before rocketing toward the dragon. When the ball of brilliance impacted the dragon it exploded with a blinding light that robbed everyone of their vision. Their hearing worked remarkably well as the roar of the dragon gradually became the scream of a woman. There sitting in a smoking crater was an unconscious spiky haired redhead with nothing to shield her body but wisps of smoke.
The assembled wizardry collectively blinked owlishly for a few minutes before Lee Jordan's voice rang out from the silence. "The winner of the pool of "How will Harry defeat the dragon" is Victoria Stone with a guess that Harry would turn the dragon into a human woman." A cry of "Booyah Bitches" was shouted by the dark skinned Hufflepuff first year as she made plans for the one hundred thirty five galleons she just won.
Omake: Meanwhile with the elves
"What we be doing here?" Drippy asked as the group of house elves entered the library.
"Is being lair of Shushing Lady, being best place to be learning things," Dobby said as they approached the desk.
Irma Pince was thankful that most of the student body was hiding in dormitories today, it meant that she could finally relax and catch up on her secret hobby of muggle fiction. Alice had just followed the rabbit in the waist coat down the hole. Irma made a note to check and see exactly what the author was smoking but, it must be some good shit. Her thoughts were interrupted by as small cough.
She looked over her book and saw a quartet of house elves standing respectfully in front of her desk. "Can I help you with something?"
The elves seemed to have a small discussion until finally one wearing a small tuxedo asked, "Dobby be wanting to ask a question if it being alright with Shushing Lady."
Irma blinked at this, "This is a library, ask and I will direct you to the nearest book on the subject."
"We be wanting to know about uniforms."
"There several books on the subject, they are on row three second shelf."
"We be thanking you," the apparent head elf said as they walked through the rows."
Irma got up and followed them as the curiosity got too much for her. The elves carefully looked over each book before pulling a small book from the shelf. They reverently flipped through the book until they found the right entry. The odd elves read the passage several time and then put the book back. The elves went into another huddle and the one in the tuxedo was once again shoved forward.
"Dobby be begging pardon, could you please be directing elves to a Soldier," the little elf asked bowing his head.
"If my memory serves me, a military base is about thirty miles east from here."
The elves exchanged some looks and all bowed to her. "We be thanking you for your time." With that they popped away.
Irma couldn't fight her curiosity as she went and picked the book up from the shelf. She read the title from the spine, "So You Want to Serve." By I. R. Fowl. Using her awesome librarian powers, she opened the book to the last page the elves read.
"It is customary for those who wish to be of service to other to wear a uniform both as a means of identifying their profession and as a badge of honor for the service given. Examples of Honorable Professions include but are not limited to Police Officers, Firemen and, arguably the most honorable and self sacrificing, Soldiers."
Irma put the book back in its place and returned to her desk. As she sipped her tea she had a strange sense of foreboding about just what had been unleashed upon the world.
Vimes Army Base
Sergeant Fred Colon had been in the Queen's Army for the vast majority of his life. He had seen two wars, a police action, twelve riots, and two hundred thirty seven barroom brawls (he was responsible for causing only one hundred sixty three). He had so far avoided retirement like the plague and was adamant that sergeant was as high as he wanted to rise in rank. His long time friend and cohort in petty crimes was Corporal Nobby. They were a different in looks as one can get. While Fred was tall and mildly plump around the middle, Nobby was short and thin. Fred had a pleasant pink color about him with as nondescript a face as one can imagine. Nobby was the color that defied description, something along the lines of tanned mud and had a set of eyes that were only exceeded in size by his ears that stuck out at almost right angles to his head. Nobby had an awful time trying to prove he was human, most people tended to think he was some sort of trained monkey that belonged to Fred. Nevertheless the two were both famous and infamous in several bases for making and breaking up mischief. They had been shuffled the most every assignment in the Army and even a couple in the Navy until they were finally sent to the Diplomatic Corps to train up foreign soldiers due to their level of experience.
Say what you will the Officers, or the Lords as Fred and Nobby liked to call them, were not stupid. The thought of the havoc those two could reap on poor unsuspecting ally nations sent the upper brass into nervous fits. After much negotiation they decided that the foreign soldiers would come to a quiet base in Scotland to be trained. Fred was at his deck typing a report and Nobby was well being Nobby.
There was a small knock on the door and four of the strangest people that Fred had ever seen walked into the office. Fred and Nobby stared at the strange people, the strange little people stared at them. Fred noticed the large ears, skinny limbs that looked chronically underfed, the large protruding eyes, and general look of hopelessness that permeated their very being. Slowly in a hesitant voice he said, "Nobby, I think we just found your people."