70A/N: Lately I've been getting a lot of good ideas, but I can't put them into use yet. I have a summer job this year and because of finals I wasn't able to release most of my Finntana Fanfics. I am tempted to do a ficlet of Fuinn one shots, but that will have to wait. And THANK YOU for giving "Realization" 10,000 hits! Hope you guys like the rewrite of the 2nd chapter! If you haven't figured out yet, the sentences in italics is when Santana's thinking.
Disclaimer:
BB: So what's it like working with Naya, Heather, and Dianna?
Cory: It's cool. Heather is hilarious, Naya is really nice and cute, and Dianna is my best friend.
BB: Awww. You think Naya is cute? Maybe I can help you get a date with her.
Cory: That would be awesome! I owe you.
BB: I know. You can give me the rights to Glee :D
Cory: Haha no.
BB: Fine I won't get you a date with Naya!
Cory: Please! I really like her!
BB: Damn, why do you have to be that cute. Fine I'll talk to Naya.
Cory: And?
BB: I don't own anything Glee related.
When Santana got Finn's IM on Facebook, she didn't know what to do. Should she ignore him? Should she tell him off? Should she be JUST friends with him? Or gather up all her courage and ask Finn if he likes her back? Luckily, she chose the last one, to confront Finn if he likes her back. Santana took a deep breath and re-read Finn's IM again, Finn Hudson: Hey, San-Tan. :). She looked at the screen for a couple of minutes trying to think of what to write back. Santana smiled to herself, glad to know that Finn still calls her by the nickname he bestowed on her when she was 10. When Finn and her were still close, whenever Finn would call her, "San-Tan" Santana would immediately be a little irritated, but secretly she loved the nickname Finn gave her. Usually Finn would call her, "San" whenver they were with their friends, but if it was just the two of them, Santana would be known as, "San-Tan". Maybe, just maybe, he still cares for me. It's either that or he's trying to get on my good side. Probably just some rumor about me and him again. I just wish the rumor was true. Santana thought glumly to herself. It was true, about once or twice a week, a rumor about Finn and Santana would start up. Santana then decided to be her usualy bitchy self and answer to Finn in a slightly harsh way.
Santana Lopez: What the hell do you want, Hudson?
She vowed to herself that she will not let Finn break her again. She has had enough of it! Stay strong Santana. Don't let him break you.
Finn Hudson: Well, I just wanted to apologize for what I did. You know...getting back with Rachel after our...uhhhhhh night together.. And I really miss hanging out with you. It's weird not having you around. :(
The walls Santana worked so hard to build, were starting to break again. The worst part was that Finn wasn't really trying to break it, he was just trying to make amends.
Santana Lopez: Honestly, what is there to apologize. It was just one night. Not like it mattered or anything.
It had felt like she just slapped Finn straight across the face when she just typed that it didn't matter. Of course it mattered, she was his first, unlike her first time, her's and Finn's night was special. Santana was beaming when she finally took Finn's virginity, but it shattered her heart that Finn said, "It didn't mean anything." That tore Santana up big time, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep, hell she wouldn't even talk to Brittany.
Finn Hudson: San, I lied okay? Of course it meant something to me, you were my first, how the hell could I forget that? I'm sorta also glad that you took my V-Card instead of Rachel. She's not the nicest person at times.
Confusion hit Santant full force. Why the hell would he be glad? It killed him inside after we did "it". He won't stop muttering Rachel's name when he took her to go get a burger. Santana thought as her mind went into overload.
Santana Lopez: Finn, let that night go. It was a year ago.
It pains her to say that. Santana would never let that night go. Not for her own life.
Finn Hudson: Okay, I will, but you never gave me an exact reason for hating Rachel. Aside from the obvious, almost everyone in glee club has something personally agaisnst her. Like Quinn hates her because she tried to break me and her up last year, Brittany hates her because she says she not that good of a singer, but I have to disagree, Brittany is just starting out, etc. Why do you hate her personally?
Santana Lopez: Your still in love with Barbie?
Finn Hudson: Hell no! Me and her are really good friends now. Now answer my question.
There is a rare chance to see the Santana Lopez without a plan or a back-up plan, but Finn's questions was the only plan she never actually planned out. Well, let's see, I hate her because you and the dwarf are together and I love you. Santana thought sarcastically to herself.
Santana Lopez: Are you really going to ask me that? It's kinda obvious why I hate her, she's to cocky and short that's my reason.
Santana prayed to herself hoping that Finn wouldn't pry anymore,
Finn Hudson: I know you way better than that, San. I have a few specific reasons why you hate her.
Santana Lopez: Okay Hudson. Start listing because it's going to be a LONG list.
To tell the truth, Santana did not know where the hell the conversation was going to go. Let's just hope it goes smoothly. That Latina thought waiting for Finn to finish typing.
Finn Hudson: Fine! I will. Well, for starters, she's batshit crazy, too cocky, bitchy, you love me, she broke my heart, gets all the solos, self absorbed.
Scrolling down Finn's somewhat long list of reasons to hate the Dwarf, Santana thought to herself, Hmmm that was a lot of good reasons. Reading over the list once more, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. Her mouth dropped open re-reading the part where Finn says that she loves him. Does he know? the shocked teenager asked herself.
Santana Lopez: No shit, Finn. I do love you, your my best friend.
Finn Hudson: Not that kind of love. San, a lot of people may call me an idiot sometimes, but I'm not oblivious. I see the way you look at me when I'm with Rachel. I know that look from experience. That's how I looked at Quinn when I saw her sitting next to Puck after the baby scandal broke out. The look of jealousy and yearning for love and attention. I'm sorry for not talking to you about this sooner...I got a little scared.
At that moment, Santana couldn't stop the feeling of pure happiness that was running through her entire body. Finn Hudson knows that she loves him! But all happiness instantly left her body when she remembered that his love will only be reserved for the one and only Rachel fucking Berry! Santana let out a big sigh and decided to just let it be. Finn will never really return his feelings to her, after all, he did abandon her right when he declared his love for her. Thinking back that Finn chose her over Pippi Longstockings, makes her skin crawl. Most of the time, Santana will feel all hollow inside, nothing left for her to hold on to, nothing, but the memories that she knows she can't bring back again. She can only just remember them. It saddens her everytime she sees Quinn and Brittany deciding to hang out without her, when Puck calls her Satan instead of San, when Finn refuses to hang out with his best friend because she's the school slut, while in all honesty, she's just looking for someone else to love her. Now, she refuses to even flirt with a guy, but if the guy decides to flirt with Santana, she would just glare at him till he went scurrying away.
Santana Lopez: What the hell were you scared of, Finn? If you knew that I loved you, then why didn't you try to persue me? Chase after me? Instead you went running into Berry's arms.
Finn Hudson: I was scared because I thought you didn't have any feelings for me. When I went to look for you 2 months after the baby scandal broke out last year, I saw you walked out the closet with Puck with sex hair, and a look of satisfaction and pleasure.
Fan. Fucking. Tastic! thought Santana as she slapped herself. If she didn't agreed to Puck for the make-up sex, she would probably be with Finn right now kissing or just being a couple and go out on dates. Regret washed over her again. I should've never let Puckerman took my big V, I should've waited for Finn. Great, there's my chances of ever being with Finn. Santana couldn't help, but wonder how things were going to turn out. If Finn already knew her secret would that mean that they would date eventually? or they just become friends again? or much worst, Finn ignores her forever? Those were probably the questions the Latina's mind was wondering about. Although, Santana can be a little bitchy sometimes, she does have a heart, after all, she was the one that tried to repair her friendship with Quinn during the summer and plant little details in Brittany's head causing her to slowly like Artie because Tina dumped him for the other Asian. In all honesty, Santana was a sweetie at heart. No one knew this, but she volunteers at the kids hospital every Tuesdays and Wednesday right after glee club practice. She loved going there and help out the kids and sing to them just to put a happy genuine smile on their faces. The one thing she loved the most is not a "thing", but a little boy that reminded her of no other than, Finn Hudson. When she would walk through the children's hospital, she would always be welcome with a little boy running towards her a hugged her legs. It was adorable really. One thing that frightened Santana was that the little Finn look-a-like, named, Jake, knew about her little secret.
*Flashback Sequence (To about, 3 weeks ago).*
Santana walked down the streets of Ohio freezing her ass off due to the cold Ohio weather in November. She pulled her jacket zipper a little bit higher and shover her hands in the pocket to keep warm. As she walked through the hospital doors, she was was welcomed by a 4 year old boy that looked exactly like Finn. The little boy ran up to her and hugged her legs, considering that he was only like 3 feet tall. Santana chuckled to herself and picked Jake up and carried him to his room. Jake's parents work non-stop at the adults hospital, but the parents wants him to be close to them whenever the have a break, they would visit and play with the little tike. The parents managed to fix up a little room for him to play in.
"Sanny! Guess what happened! Guess!" Jake yelled as Santana put him back down and took a seat on a VERY comfortable chair.
"What is it, Jake? I'm too tired to guess. Just tell Sanny already." Santana said trying to look exhausted as possible.
"Fine! My parents are moving." Jake said sitting down on the ground and started to pout. He didn't want to leave his big sister Sanny.
"Wait, your moving? Why were you so happy then?" Santana asked picking Jake off the ground and placing him on her lap, hugging him.
"Mommy and Daddy got a job move, but they says that I'm gonna go to a school where I can learn to dance and sing! Just like you!" Jake said hugging Santana. She was a little sad that Jake was leaving, but she was really happy that Jake wanted to sing and dance, just like her.
"That's good, Jake. And when you come back, you can show me how much you've improved!" Santana said hugging Jake tighter.
"Okay! If only you promised me one thing!" Jake said letting go of Santana.
"What's that?" Santana asked interested on the promise.
"Don't EVER give up on, Finny! I wanna see him before he moves, and he better be your boyfriend when I meet him." Jake said trying to look serious. Santana just nodded her head.
Shock, surpised, confused, those were the emotions Santana felt when Jake made her promise to never give up on Finn. She looked at the little boy watching his cartoons, he really did resembled Finn. Dark brown messy hair, dark brown puppy dog eyes, generous, self-giving. She found herself really attached to Jake, she always wanted a little brother, but she didn't expect to form this tight bond with Jake. For all she knows, if she ever had a baby with Finn, Jake would be their son. Although Jake looks mostly like Finn, he did pick-up some of Santana's witty remarks and deathly glare. The glare was pick-up by Jake when Santana saw one of the nurses being mean to him. This thought surprised Santana, she wanted to have kids. Looking at Jake, she really wanted to have a baby, but she was way too young. Even though Jake wasn't related to her or Finn in anyway, he sure inherits a few characteristic traits from her and Finn, even though Finn hasn't met Jake yet.
"Santana, what a wonderful surprise." Jake's mom said walking into Jake's little play room.
"Oh. Hi Mrs. Davis. Just playing with Jake for a little while." Santana said smiling.
"Santana, we've went over this before. Please call me Amanda. It's a shame we're moving in 4 months, Jake looks up to you as his sister. He was really sad when we told him, but he became a little happier when he learned that he is enrolled in a musical school." Mrs. Davis said picking up Jake and kissing his forehead.
"I hope he excels, Jake is a really talented kid." Santana said politely, meaning every word that she just said. She then felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and it was a text from Brittany.
Brittany: San, can you open your door, I need help on my homework! The snow is really cold, I'm standing in front of your house. I can see the snowmen. They're coming after me! Help!
Santana quickly texted Brittany back and bid Mrs. Davis a goodbye and gave Jake a bear hug, promising him that she will visit him again. After she left the warm hospital, Santana quickly walked home in the freezing cold. Since the walk took about 15 minutes, Santana took the time to think about the promise Jake made her. If Jake really wants to me and Finn to be together, then it must be pretty obvious that I really have something for Finn. For crying out loud! A 4 year old boy can figure out these feelings that I have for Finn! Santana thought to herself as she finally reached her house, seeing her ditzy, blonde bestfriend huddling close to her door to gather any warmth she could. After letting Brittany into her house, Santana made hot chocolate for the both of them. As Brittany was attempting to study, Santana daydreamed about Finn's brown eyes that she could just get lost in them.
*Flashback Sequence Ends*
Santana's flasback was interrupted because Finn finally replied to her. She closed a few ads that popped up on her laptop screen, and as she clicked on Finn's name, she read his message. Her perfect eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as she read the message over and over again, trying to comprehend the situation she was currently in. Finn's message read:
Finn Hudson: Hey San, open your bedroom door.
A/N: Little cliffy, but it still took a while to write this...or re-write this. So? What did you guys think of this little Flashback? Okay, if there are any Finntana writers out there I want you guys to do a little skit in you disclaimer like the one in chapter one and this chapter. I wanna see how creative you guys can get. Are you guys willing to try this? Review to let me know what you think of the idea and this chapter. And whoever reviews this rewritten chapter with their favorite, least favorite, or most memorable moments in Realization, 3 of you guys will get a chance to read the next whole chapter once I finish writing it. Just gotta review, and tell me your email so I can send you it.