Author: PenisControl (aka abductee)
Beta:None, all mistakes are mine
Fandom: Harry Potter x Neopets
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood and OC Slorgsy
Genre: Parody, crack, crossover
Summary: A tale of redemption and finding yourself. Jks.
Disclaimer:Neopets nor Harry Potter and related characters are mine. Boo.
A/N: This fic has been written as an application for the pet Squalls. I wrote this fic of my own free will.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song.
One day, that was actually a dark and stormy night, Draco Malfoy was skulking debonairly through the corridors of Hogwarts. For you see, this event took place before the events of the Epilogue, so he's allowed to be skulking debonairly through the corridors of Hogwarts because he's a student and not an ugly old man.
Just so you know, Draco Malfoy is a yellow Kacheek.
So he was skulking debonairly (as stated twice previously), when he saw an eerie glow from around the corner of some random corridor that he was skulking debonairly past. The glow was eerie because it was probably caused by a Glowing Eyrie. Just saying.
So, because he's not a coward like Harry Potter (who is a red Grundo because he was adopted and not created), he decided to go take a squiz at what was going down round there. It could be a Glowing Paint Brush. He could sell it and buy a Silver Paint Brush, because he was better as Silver than yellow. If he were to find one, he'd sell it via advertisement on the bulletin board.
He tiptoed precariously (it was precarious mainly because he was a Kacheek and had no toes, basically) down the corridor, which became smoky all of a sudden, probably to add atmosphere.
That's when he heard it.
The dulcet tones of Abba's "Dancing Queen". Abba were a Mycni Pop group from Terror Mountain, you know.
Now, Draco Malfoy may not be a coward, but he was afraid of dancing, especially while wearing a top hat. Don't ask. So "Dancing Queen" struck a note (get it? Note?) of terror in him.
Just as he was about to leave with his tail between his legs (he had a tail, he was a Kacheek, not some common Quiggle), he heard a soft giggle followed by the squish of what could only be described as a custard Bori tripping down the stairs. His curiosity was piqued. And so was his ear, so he smoothed it down and went to investigate.
As he rounded the corner, the sight that met him was unbelievable. No seriously, it was unbelievable. Draco Malfoy was a firm supporter of The Neopets Team (TNT for short) and when they said something, he believed it.
It LOOKED to be (because it couldn't really be) a huge room full of multicoloured jelly with a jaunty sign off to the left proclaiming "Jelly World! It does exist!" in a garishly pink font type, probably Pegasus. And there, in the midst of it all, was Loony Luna Lovegood the yellow Grarrl, skipping around merrily with a giant green jelly-like Slorg. Well, the Slorg was slithering and bouncing a little, really, skipping couldn't even be applied loosely in this case. Draco Malfoy approved of the green colour because he was a Reptillioryn through and through, thanks muchly.
"Ooh, look, Slorgsy! It's Draco Malfoy the yellow Kacheek," Loony, I mean, Luna Lovegood said dreamily.
Draco Malfoy frowned. He'd probably get wrinkles from that. "What is all this, Loony?" he sneered, gesturing flamboyantly to the room at large. A Snowbunny waved at him from behind jelly-like bush when his arm passed over her. Silly Snowbunny.
Luna Lovegood just smiled sweetly (as per her pet lookup) at him. "Well, Draco Malfoy. This is Jelly World! Isn't it lovely? I found the instructions on how to get here under my bed when I got up this morning," Her huge eyes peered at him curiously. "How did you get here?"
Draco Malfoy was most perturbed by these turn of events. "Everyone knows Jelly World doesn't exist. This must be some figment of my imagination. My awesomeness has just gotten too awesome for my brain to handle!"
Luna Lovegood's mouth turned up at the corners and she laughed daintily. "Jelly World does exist, Draco Malfoy. Come and dance with me? Slorgsy seems to be getting tired." She looked at Slorgsy with sympathetic eyes as he wobbled and fell over.
A mocking laugh filled the room. "There is no way in Moltara that I'm dancing with you, Loony," Draco Malfoy laughed (mockingly, duh). He tried to fist his tiny Kacheek hand in indignation, but TNT's Kacheek art hadn't allowed for that. Ew.
Luna Lovegood's response was to wonder over and take his tiny Kacheek hand delicately, and whisk him up into her dance. She twirled and spun, her laughter tinkling around the jelly filled room.
The jelly floor was awfully slippery, and in no time at all Draco Malfoy had been flung across the room and had hit the jelly covered wall. "Oh dear!" Luna said. "You're going to slide into the Giant Jelly if you don't watch out. Then we'll never find you." She looked imploringly at the so called "Giant Jelly", an eyesore that took up most of the room and swayed to the beat of the song.
Draco Malfoy scowled superiorly. "I will not slide into that Giant Jelly monstrosity! I am a very good dancer. I learnt from the best you know. My father had me tutored in all types of dance."
Luna Lovegood nodded obligingly. "I'm sure you're great."
He narrowed his eyes. "I'll show you, you…you…HERE!" He grabbed her stunted Grarrl arm and pulled her into a loose embrace. He led her around the room in a fast-paced waltz, and before he knew what was happening, Draco Malfoy was laughing along with Luna Lovegood.
They danced and danced, until the song had replayed at least 10 times. Draco Malfoy was feeling much like a Dancing Queen. King. Dancing King. DANCING KING, OK?
At last, they fell down in a heap beside each other, chuckling like old friends and moaning good naturedly about their sore feet. Well, Draco Malfoy was moaning about his sore feet because he's just a natural born complainer. Luna Lovegood was just trying to catch her breath (it was still dancing around the room, rebellious thing).
"Oh, Draco Malfoy," Luna Lovegood sighed. "You're not so bad after all. We should go to Faerie Land next week, the Faerie Cupcakes are delicious!" She looked up at him through her lashes hopefully.
Draco Malfoy just stared blankly at her, then slowly began to crack a grin. "I'd love that very much, Luna."
And that's how Draco Malfoy the yellow Kacheek and Luna Lovegood the yellow Grarrl (they're both yellow, what of it?) became great lifelong friends that always hung out and never fought about how zapped pets weren't real pets at all and they shouldn't belong in Neopia.
Or is it?
Yes, it is.