Disclaimer: As always, I don't own RENT.
Book 5: The Savior
Chapter 1: Roger's Savior
Roger wasn't completely healed after withdrawal. He started showing at least some interest in life outside of drugs, and he was clean, but he wasn't really living. He didn't care about music, didn't take his AZT and didn't ever socialize. Until Mimi quite literally danced her way into his life. He struggled at first, he was out of his comfort zone with Mimi - he hadn't gone out and had fun in so long. But eventually, Mimi's irresistible charm won him over.
I noticed the change immediately. Suddenly I didn't have to remind Roger to take his AZT at each meal (although I still had to remind him at every other meal), Roger would initiate plans himself, and for once he was writing songs again (however poorly). It was nice to have him back. Mimi brought the old Roger back, the one that joked, laughed, talked, and sung - the one that I loved and missed so much. She kept him from drowning in his own self-pity and self-induced misery, and for that I was truly thankful.
It was me that spent countless hours holding Roger through withdrawal, it was me who reminded him to take his AZT everyday, it was me who stayed by his side during April's death and it was me who endured his cruel comments and punches during his withdrawal. Sure, I wish it could have been me that brought the old Roger back, but I can't blame Mimi. In fact, I'm eternally grateful to her. She saved my best friend, something that no matter how much I wish I could - I couldn't do. What can I say? She danced her way into my heart.
Roger and his new girlfriend - that Cat Scratch Club dancer - walked into the room, arm in arm. Roger said something about running into his room to grab something, leaving me alone with his new girlfriend.
"Hey, Mark! I'm Mimi." Immediately I liked her- she paid enough attention to what Roger was saying to know his dorky roommate's name.
"Oh-uh-hi!" I stuttered back, surprised.
"Roger is just grabbing his bag and then we are gonna go down to the Life Café. You should come if you want." She wasn't like the other girls Roger went out with - that much was apparent. She was inviting me, the dorky filmmaker, to eat with her and her boyfriend. She was so personable and gave off such a warm-hearted vibe, that I knew she would be good for Roger. Roger would be good for her too, I could tell, seeing the stash peaking out of her back jean pocket.
Chapter 2: Mimi's Savior
Mimi saved Roger in more ways than one. Even when she wasn't good for him, she was good for him. If that makes sense. Even when she unknowingly tempted him with her drugs, she helped Roger test and assure himself that he would never go back to drugs.
Even though Roger would deny it fervently, I know that helping get Mimi off of drugs helped him as well. Roger was sick of being taken care of - the one that everyone watched out for to make sure he didn't slip back into his old habits, and it was time that he looked out for someone else. Concentrating on keeping Mimi clean distracted him from reality, something he was too caught up in.
Roger tried to hide his enthusiasm about helping Mimi during her withdrawal, but I always saw through it.
"You know Mark, I really think Mimi is getting better." He said, reminding me of something remarkably similar I had said about him to Collins.
"That's great, Rog. She'll pull through it." In fact, she has to. And maybe if I say it enough, it will be true.
I guess Roger could relate to what Mimi was going through more than any of the rest of us, so it makes sense he was the one able to get her clean. Along with the peace of mind that came with Mimi getting off of drugs, I know that Roger was also secretly pleased that he was the one who gave her the stability that comes with being clean. That satisfaction supplied Roger with the confidence that he depended on, and so desperately needed.
Chapter 3: Denial
I think the real reason Roger left for Sante Fe was because he was he loved Mimi too much. He didn't think he could take falling in love with a junkie, only to have her die, again. I can't say I blame him for having a fear of someone close to him dying (I mean, look at me), but his leaving hurt Mimi more than he will ever know. She was broken. Mimi often knocked lightly on the loft's doors in the middle of the night, telling me she wanted someone to talk to - but I know she was also secretly hoping to find that Roger had come home.
"Hey, Mark," a voice croaked. I quickly turned away from my camera, to see a weak-looking Mimi, leaning against the loft's metal door.
"Oh! Hey, Mimi!" I ran to her.
" . . . I just needed someone to be with. It - it gets lonely upstairs." I could relate. The only things keeping me from drowning myself in the depths of despair were my camera and my friends that I had to keep on going for.
"Well, c'mon in." Over the lonely days without Roger, Mimi and I had formed a tight friendship. I comforted her and talking to her was something to do other than finish my film.
Tears welled in her eyes, and she startled me by rushing up to hug me, throwing her arms around my neck.
"Oomph." She didn't seem to notice me almost fall down with the force of her impact.
"Thank-you, Mark. For everything." I awkwardly patted her on the back, surprised by the sudden show of affection.
"Don't worry about it, Mimi. You do the same for me."
I wasn't used to being thanked. I was used to being greeted with a groan after telling Roger to take his AZT, I was the one who was called a worry-wart after giving everyone my blankets so they wouldn't catch a cold - I wasn't the one who was thanked. I was Mark. Helping your friends is in the job description.
When Roger did come back, I was relieved to see that he devoted himself to Mimi. Mimi was a lot like April in many ways - both head over heels for Roger, both needed Roger and both were addicted to drugs - but Mimi wasn't a replacement for April. They were two different people who fell in love with two different people. April was in love with the cocky, funny, naïve rock star. Mimi was in love with the new Roger, that had suffered through so much, but still cared deeply for his friends.
Mimi and Roger found true love. They were better than a fairy tale. They helped each other. They cared. They equally gave and took. And they were madly in love.
A/N: Please review - good or bad, I like to know what you are thinking! I update faster with reviews!