293A/N: I must thank faithful reader Ellecia who pointed me in the right direction. Since I'm from the U.S., I have no idea whatsoever where one would go to retire in Scotland (only that I would like to do it someday). So beautiful Elleciasaid: Fife! I chose the most likely suspect (I mean town) within Fife. And the rest is a story…
Chapter 18 – I Won't Fear Love
Now I knew why the Vikings were attracted to the sea. Eric and I stood on the ramparts of Ravenscraig Castle in Kirkcaldy. It was the town where Eric's mom, Sophie, had retired. We had spent a very pleasant evening getting to know each other. She reminded me so much of my own mom, except with light blue eyes and red hair. She was still a beauty in her mid-fifties, with a contagious smile just like Eric's. She had made me feel so welcome in her home, so at ease, so loved… My heart swelled with happiness, knowing that soon she would be my other mom.
The next morning she had practically thrown us out the door, telling Eric to show me Scotland. He had borrowed her car and we set out to have a date. Ravenscraig Castle was breathtaking. I'd never seen a real medieval castle like this one. It was an artillery fort overlooking the North Sea. In the mid-morning sun I could feel the allure of the sea, even in this landscape, so much different than the one I was used to in Florida.
"Sookie?" Eric pressed his warm chest against my back, threading his arms over my chest and middle to hug me tight against him. I melted into his embrace, wanting this moment to last for so much longer than forever.
"Yes, Eric?" I asked, putting my arms over his to make the hug complete. I felt a kiss on my crown.
"Do you like this?" he asked, unsure of my answer.
"It is absolutely gorgeous. I've never seen anything like it."
"Would you like to go for a ride?" he asked. I simply nodded, turning my head a little and closing my eyes with a serene smile on my face. Eric turned me around, and I felt the need to open my eyes again. The love in his eyes filled me like nothing else could.
I'd been a fool to let my fear get the best of me. Thank God for Amelia. She'd talked some sense into me, and she'd been right: I had been acting like a self-centered child, not taking into account anybody else's feelings but my own. I let my own fear cripple me, instead of reaching out to the love of my life. He could help. He would help.
More than that, because my fear had been completely unfounded. The next day we saw our pictures on the paper, and the caption was downright sappy: "Eric Northman and his bride-to-be, American beauty Sookie Stackhouse, out for a stroll with Eric's sister at Kew Gardens. The happy couple plan to marry next year." That was it. No accusations, nothing bad at all. They'd called me a beauty. The photo was absolutely striking. At some point they'd caught us walking in front of several thousand late summer flowers, Eric and I were looking into each other's eyes both with loving smiles and holding hands, and Eric's other arm was draped lazily over Pam's shoulder, who was smiling and looking at us. It made me wish I'd know who'd taken the photo because I wanted a copy to put in our new house. I kept that page of the newspaper.
Eric drove north of Kirkcaldy and showed me what that part of the Kingdom of Fife looked like. My heart ached at so much beauty. How did people live here, waking up every day to see this? The verdant rolling hills, the parceled farms that dotted the landscape, the fields of yellow flowers. It was so much unlike anything I'd ever seen. We stopped at a tavern to have lunch, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. It looked like I'd stepped back in time several centuries. People at the tavern recognized us and said some pleasant things before letting us eat in peace. We didn't have to ask. They simply knew to be polite.
Eric held my hand as we drove all the way back to his mom's. She was happy to see us and was getting ready to start making dinner. That's how long we'd been gone.
"Pam and I are cooking, and we are about to show off. So you two go wash up and we will call you. Now scoot!" she made a motion with her hands sending us upstairs to our room.
"I hope you're hungry. When those two show off it usually means tons of food," Eric said chuckling, following me up the stairs and touching my bottom.
"Eric, quit it!" I hissed. We reached our bedroom and as soon as we closed the door he pinned me against it with his whole body.
"I've wanted you all day, my darling," he said, and began trailing kisses down my neck. I put my hands on his sides, holding on to the fabric of his shirt.
"I wanted you all day too," I whispered shyly. I'd just begun to use my words to make love to Eric. He was teaching me the power of words during lovemaking. Of course, at that particular moment we'd have to be quiet.
We made quick work of our clothes, falling on the bed on our sides, looking at each other. I wrapped my leg over his waist and my arms around his neck. Eric angled himself so he could enter me, and in a frenzy of kisses we were soon joined. He held me tight against him, and when I arched my back he ducked his head, cupping a breast to bring it to his hot mouth. He let go too soon.
"Look at me, Sookie, look at me my love," he said, almost desperate for me to comply. I brought my eyes to his. "I love you, Sookie."
"I love you, Eric."
We gazed into each other, seeing our souls laid bare and open, our love sifting inside and uniting us more than just physically. He was my husband. Paper or no paper declaring us married, Eric was mine as much as I was his. Our love ignited and consumed us. Even in that tiny bed in that small house that wasn't ours, we found each other and our bliss.
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Because of how busy Eric and I would be while we got our affairs in order and got ready for our move to Colchester, Sophie and Pam offered to help me put together the wedding in Scotland. That night during dinner we talked about venues, dates, even flowers. The most important part was religion. Eric was Anglican, I was Catholic. The two religions were close enough that I didn't mind having an Anglican ceremony, and it would be extremely easier too, since I didn't have to be baptized in order to marry Eric.
Talking of the church arrangements brought it all home for me. I was really doing this. I was doing this the right way, in front of God and all our family, and we'd have a celebration afterwards. I looked at Eric sitting next to me and put my hand on his cheek, giving him a wide smile. This time he responded to me, instead of the other way around. He turned his head a little and kissed my wrist, before taking my hand and kissing my fingers. I knew Sophie and Pam were watching us, and I didn't care. They were allowed to see how much I loved Eric, and how much he loved me.
We settled many of the preliminaries, and then Eric and I would visit for Christmas so we could do some more work.
"You will have a beautiful wedding, don't you worry. Now, give me Charlie's number and email address because we need to have a mom-to-mom talk," Sophie said, grabbing her planner. She'd bought it especially, she'd said. I had the feeling that I was merely expected to show up to the wedding. Everything else would be taken care of.
"You're not allowed to change any of these things, Mum," Pam said pointing at a list she was making. We would have to check availability, but settled for a date in May. That would give us enough time to get settled in Colchester before getting married and going on a honeymoon.
"Oh, shush Pamela! Mums are allowed to change anything they want," Sophie waved her hand at Pam. I smiled. There really was nothing she could change that would upset me. It wasn't as if either of them would pick ugly things. I would have to rely a lot on Sophie and Pam to help me, and they were very enthusiastic, so Eric and I just watched and waited until one or both would turn their heads to us to ask a question.
The next day Sophie had a late summer party at her house. She had invited her side of the family, which included a sister and a brother, plus their spouses, children and a few grandchildren. Eric's dad's side of the family was in England, and we would have to meet them during Christmas when we returned. At least I was now being introduced into the family as I should have been. I felt a sense of comfort, of belonging.
Nobody said anything about Carrie that upset me. Eric's Uncle Andrew approached me. "He looks extremely happy," he said of Eric. "He suffered a lot when Carrie passed, and we were all very concerned about him. But look at him now. He's the happiest I've seen him since he was a little boy."
I was looking, alright. Eric was running around the small lawn with the kids, letting himself be tackled to the ground. I bit my lower lip as I smiled. One of these days he would play a similar game on a similar lawn, but with our own children.
Our departure from Scotland was bittersweet. We were coming back at Christmas, and my family would join us to celebrate the holiday all of us together. Still, after meeting Sophie, Pam, Amelia, and the rest of Eric's family, leaving them was hard. They were easy to love too. Just like Eric.
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The hot and humid Florida weather felt welcoming after spending several days in temperate Scotland. My mom and I walked in the early morning with Baloo, not talking about much of anything.
"Are you mad?" I asked. I wasn't sure why I thought that.
"Sookie, honey, why in the world would I be mad?"
"Because we're having the wedding in Scotland and Sophie and Pam are taking over," I answered, because it was obvious.
"I guess I neglected to tell you that Sophie and I talked for two hours yesterday, about everything and your wedding. I'm very much a part of this, and your decision to have the wedding in Scotland was the most sensible. It's less of a hassle to fly us up there, than to fly all of Eric's family down here. The expense alone would kill you. So stop fretting so much. All we want is to see you and Eric happy," she said and took my hand, squeezing it tightly.
Eric passed us, running in his usual Under Armour shirt that showed off his incredible body. I could be shallow when it came to how beautiful and sexy I thought he was. I still loved him very much. I whistled at him, sending my mom into giggles and making him turn around and run backwards, if only to give me a huge smile and a wink.
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I dream about my life often, nowadays. I guess it comes with the territory: the things I did, the time I wasted, how things turned out just fine in the end. We had a wonderful wedding, a beautiful reception, a gorgeous honeymoon that took us through all of Europe. When we returned, we didn't go back to a home in Colchester. We went back to our home in Florida. We'd built a new house where the other two had stood, with a larger pool. I'd been selfish to allow Eric to give up his acting, and he'd been too scared of losing me to stand up to me and my fears. It had all come to nothing at all. The minute I realized that, I told Eric to decline the position at the university, to call his manager, and start reading new scripts for movies.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. He'd eyed cautiously, trying to see if I meant it. I told him I was eternally grateful for the sacrifice and humbled and touched, but I loved him too much to allow him to give up the job that he liked the best. That same day he'd received several new scripts for his perusal.
We reached an agreement that if working on location would take him away for longer than a week that I would visit often or join him. That's how we ended up conceiving in Quebec. And giving birth in Florida.
"Mrs. Northman? We're ready when you are," said a nurse, bringing me back to the present. It was silly of her to say, since I'd been prepped for a cesarean section.
I looked at Eric to my right. He'd stayed beside me while I napped. At some point they'd given him a set of scrubs, a cap for his head, and something to put over his shoes, along with a mask.
"Are you ready, my love?" he asked.
I squeezed his hand. He was nervous. I was shaking. I didn't know what to expect, and I was a bit early to give birth. The doctor had assured me time and time again that everything was perfect and that nothing was wrong.
The nurse wheeled me in my bed to the operating room. The anesthesiologist asked me my weight, and another nurse joined us. Eric had been made to wait outside while they prepped me for surgery. First I moved to the operating bed, holding my belly with one hand, guarding it. Then I sat at the edge of the bed, shaking like a leaf with nerves. The kind nurse held me tight against her to stop the shakes, while the anesthesiologist inserted a needle in my back. It took no more than a minute, and I was made to lie down again. I felt my legs tingle and go numb while they put a curtain from my chest down, and they called Eric to come sit beside me. He'd brought the camera.
"Don't take a picture of my guts, okay? I don't think I could look at those," I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
Eric smiled one of his contagious smiles and caressed my face. He leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you."
"I love you," I said back.
The doctor explained what she was doing so I would understand and not be concerned when I felt her tugging at my body.
"I see a head," she said as I felt a giant tug that moved all of me. "It's a girl!" she announced, as a sob escaped me. I already knew I was having a girl. I couldn't see or hear much of anything, and Eric was watching everything they did to our little girl. Finally I heard a tiny angry wail, and I knew my baby breathed. Clara.
The nurses called out a time of birth (5:37 p.m.), a weight (six pounds, one ounce), and a length (nineteen inches).
"It's a boy!" my doctor announced after another tug. I already knew I was having a boy too. Alexander. Born at 5:39 p.m., weighing five pounds, thirteen ounces, also nineteen inches long like his sister.
They brought me my babies swaddled and clean so I could see them and kiss them. My babies were perfect, bright pink and healthy. Eric went crazy taking pictures of his children.
Our family was now complete. Our dreams had come true. What had started as impossibility turned into reality. A beautiful famous actor had moved next to my house and changed my world. I never had nightmares anymore. I was healed.
¡El Fin!
A/N: Please join us this coming Saturday, March 12, 2011, at 4pm EST for a chat about "Good Fences." If you're interested please visit the Fangreaders blog at . ahead of time and ask the girls you want to join. If you like what I do, please alert me as an author. I will be working on a new FF coming up within the next two weeks.
As you all know, I love all my readers. Thank you so much for sticking for this little ride.