My life was too confusing

I didn't know what to believe anymore

I didn't know what to feel

I didn't know who to believe

I had no idea of what anything was anymore

What anything meant

I was too confused and lost

To do anything

My emotions were a mix

My thoughts were worthless

Love was completely foreign to me

I was utterly alone

In this cold, cold world…..

I sat alone at night

Thinking about what I was worth

Nothing, that's what

I would lie on my back

And scratch words with my nails

Into my arm

Forgotten

Lost

Worthless

Alone

Freak

Kill me

All of which I was and I wanted to happen

And let the blood flow down my arms

Onto the street

That was my sanctuary

The middle of the street

It was my safe place in life

Since no cars drove down it

The pavement was my only friend left

One day my sanctuary wasn't quite so safe

And I saw a light…

Then heard brakes…

Then the devil whispering my name

I was finally accepted in my own perfect world

And what a screwed up world it was