Author's note: Um. So. Wow. *nervous cough* It's been a long time since I've updated this fic, and I sincerely apologize! ;_; But I'm resurrecting it FINISHING IT UP with this chapter, which really doesn't resolve much but will hopefully lend some sense of closure to the whole thing, as well as leading into a continuation fic (moar fluff, with dates) that I plan to start writing soon.
Without further ado, here's the final chapter of Loose Ends! As always, any and all feedback is welcomed, and thanks for reading and for your patience. :)
Obligatory disclaimer: I still don't own "Megamind," or any of its characters. I just play with them occasionally.
Chapter Five: First Contact
The doors to the lair burst open. "Minion!" Megamind called into the darkness, still floating on cloud nine. "Min-yoooon! Are you in there?" He peeked around a few corners, unsnapping his helmet and goggles as he went, but didn't see or hear his cybernetically-enhanced friend. "Huh, he must have gone out."
Reflections of flashing red lights signaled that the brain-bots were awake in the other room. "Daddy's home!" he announced happily, voice echoing off the metal surfaces. Frowning at the lack of response, he turned to walk into the next room to find the seemingly deaf bots when he heard a tapping sound. Tap-tap, tap-tap. Megamind cupped a hand around one ear and followed the sound to its source: the middle of a wall. Rats, perhaps?
Tap-tap. A little further down the wall this time. Then he heard a slight creak and groan of metal. "Oh no, first Metro Man, and now this?" he groaned. "I don't need any more apparitions!" he hissed at the wall. "Go away!"
"Sir?" came a barely audible voice. "Is that you?"
Megamind jumped back, and then clasped a hand to his chest in relief. "Minion! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Sorry, sir." Minion's words were muffled by the brick wall.
"What are you doing out there, anyway?" Megamind asked peevishly.
"Um." A pause. "I may have moved the doormat just a teensy weensy, itty bittybit when all those reporters were coming to the lair for interviews—"
"Well, thank goodness you did something right, Minion," Megamind interrupted. "That was a serious security hazard." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Wait…you didn't forget where the entrance was again, did you?"
"Maybe…a little?" Minion was probably holding his fingers a tiny distance apart to illustrate.
"You 'a little' forgot?" he asked sarcastically.
"Alright, I forgot completely. Could you help me out?" Minion pleaded.
Rolling his eyes, Megamind nevertheless took pity on the fish and turned the hologram brick wall off for a moment. No more than ten seconds passed before Minion came creaking and tromping in.
"Ah, thank you, Sir," said Minion, grinning in relief.
"Oh sure," Megamind replied. "Now, my man-friend," he said, slapping Minion on the shoulder in a brotherly sort of way, "do you want to hear all about my date with Roxanne?" He smiled expectantly. Surely Minion would want to know allthe details. Especially the kissing part!
"Uh, maybe later, Sir." Minion dodged, avoiding Megamind's eyes. "I have some work I need to do. Immediately. Like, right now." As he quickly sidled off into the next room, Megamind's sharp gaze caught—was that a suitcase Minion was holding behind his back?
He filed that bit of information away for later. Right now he had more important plans to think about. Date-type plans. No, even better: second-date-type plans. He rubbed his hands together in glee.
While Megamind was still weaving his way through traffic, Roxanne was unlocking the door to her loft. Once inside, she filled a vase with water and carefully arranged her only slightly crushed roses in it. Only then did she allow herself to collapse onto her big red couch and set her heels on the coffee table. Her muscles slowly relaxed. What a day it had been, and it was barely even mid-afternoon!
She sighed, sinking further into the soft couch cushions. The pile of papers on her side table beckoned, reminding her of the work she had to get through that day, but she couldn't seem to make herself move to get them. The caffeine must have worn off, she thought, as her eyelids slowly drooped. Memories swam into her head, of sitting in the sun and holding Megamind's narrow but oh-so-warm hand. A little smile touched her lips as she started to doze off.
A loud buzzing sound woke her. She jumped up, momentarily disoriented, until she spotted her purse. Her cell phone was set to vibrate. Taking a deep breath to slow her startled heart, she selected. "1 New Message." It was from an unfamiliar number, and consisted of five oddly-spaced words.
did u have fun 2day ?
Roxanne deleted it. It was probably just one of those spam texts that were sent out to see who was gullible enough to respond to them. She settled back down and grabbed the top file off her table to start working. If she was going to laze around the apartment for the rest of the weekend, she might as well get something done.
A few moments later, her phone buzzed again. Another text. This one said,
Hope you had fun today. I did. LOL :) –MM
Roxanne laughed at the closing (he probably had no idea what it meant), and then at herself. The text she'd deleted must have been Megamind experimenting. He was a genius with most technology, so Roxanne felt a touch of justifiably wicked glee on the rare occasions that she knew more about something than he did. Like cell phones. Or maybe social media. The thought of introducing Megamind to Facebook—or, God forbid, online gaming—made her grin. He'd either be bored or obsessed within three seconds.
I had a great time, Roxanne texted back. Looking forward to Fri. –RR.
Minion strolled back into the main room of the formerly-evil lair to find Megamind staring, zombie-like, at the computer. His jaw was slack, and he was mashing a few keys every once in a while, but didn't look up until Minion cleared his throat.
"Oh, hello Minion," Megamind said cheerfully. "It seems that I got a bit distracted while doing some research." He motioned toward the computer monitor, and Minion bent to see.
"Are those…birds, sir?" He squinted at the little avatars hurtling across the screen.
"Yes! And they're irate! It's a clever little game. You throw them at things, see?" Megamind explained, pointing. "And then you get points."
Minion nodded and smiled, which was what he did whenever his boss was acting crazy. He was very used to nodding and smiling.
"Oh, that reminds me," Megamind said, wagging a finger in the air.
Throwing birds at buildings reminded him of something? thought Minion. That couldn't be good.
When it became clear that Minion wasn't going to respond verbally, Megamind continued anyway. "My research! I forgot all about it. I need your help, Minion." He swiveled his black chair back to the computer and began to type furiously.
"Oh?" One eyebrow raised in reluctant curiosity.
"Roxanne suggested that I turn my evil inventions to good purposes," he said, still typing. "But I can't seem to find any suggestions on how to use Tesla coils for helping people." He huffed in frustration.
Minion thought a moment. "Well, they can be used to make music," he suggested.
"I…suppose," Megamind agreed dubiously. "But you know that I'm not so great at musical things."
Having heard his boss sing along to the radio nearly every day for the past twenty-eight years, Minion was inclined to compare Megamind to a post. But he kindly refrained from saying so. Instead, he returned his gaze to the computer monitor, where angry-looking little birds were still flying through the air. "So, where did you find this game?"
Megamind raised his eyebrows loftily and did his best to stare down his nose at Minion while remaining seated. "Online," he said shortly. When the fish didn't reply, Megamind flapped one hand in a dismissive gesture. "Fine, I was looking for second date ideas." A flush of embarrassment crept up his neck.
"And?" Minion prompted.
"Oh, you are such a pill, Minion!" Megamind practically shouted. "No one on The Google could make up their minds, so I just typed in 'angry.' This was on the front page." He slumped in his chair. "Happy now?"
Minion patted him on the shoulder. "Now, now, sir, no need to get upset with me. I'm just trying to take care of you."
"I know, Minion," he said on a sigh. "But it would be helpful if the Internet could figure out whether a second date is supposed to be fun or serious! I mean, come on!" The computer squawked as Megamind glared at it. "I'm supposed to be spontaneous, yet prepared"—he ticked off requirements on his fingers—"and gentlemanly, but bold, and all this is supposed to take place at a place that is the perfect balance between a silent museum and a hard rock concert. This is simply not possible!"
Minion filtered through the past few sentences to focus on the one important phrase. "Wait, did you say second date, sir?" A toothy grin split his face. "That's wonderful!"
"Isn't it?" Megamind said, momentarily forgetting his earlier dilemma. "I'm going to see her again on Friday." He smiled dreamily. Only six more days before he could see her again, hold her hand, maybe even feel the brush of her soft lips…
"Friday?" Minion frowned. "I thought you were meeting with the Mayor on Friday."
Megamind shook his head. "No, no, that's Tuesday. I re-sheduled."
"If you say so," said Minion. "But I still think you shouldn't worry about Ms. Ritchie so much."
"Oh? And why not?" Megamind asked doubtfully. Since when did Minion think he knew more about women than the Still-Handsome ex-Master of All Villainy?
"Because you've already been out with her, like, ten times," said Minion, as if it were obvious.
"Not as myself. This is different," Megamind argued. He waved a hand toward the computer. "All these people on the Internet say that the second date is what determines the fate of one's relationship with a woman. It is essential that everything be perfect."
"That's what you said about the first date, sir," Minion reminded him patiently, "and it all worked out just fine."
"Yes, but I want to make sure that it wasn't just a fluke, Minion," he said softly, almost uncertainly. "I have to know that it's me she likes, and that this whole thing isn't just—wishful thinking." Unconsciously he rubbed the spot on the back of his wrist where the holo-watch would have rested.
Minion smiled. "I know." He tapped his glass dome thoughtfully. "You know what you need, sir, is an outside perspective."
Megamind's eyes narrowed. "What are you getting at?"
Fins rippled in the aquatic equivalent of a shrug. "I don't know, maybe you could ask someone you've known for a while…"
"Ugh, Minion, I really don't think I could talk to the Warden about this," Megamind said, frowning.
Minion turned upside-down in his bowl in frustration. "No, sir, I didn't mean the Warden."
Minion flipped back upright. "I'm getting to that. Metr—ic Man," he corrected himself in the middle of the word, "might know more—"
Megamind snorted, pretending to misunderstand. "'Metric Man,' huh? What, is he the Master of Meter Sticks? King of Kilograms?"
Minion frowned. "Sir, you know what I—"
Megamind interrupted again, grinning. "His nemesis, Standard Lass, performs various 'feets' of daring—"
One massive metal foot clanged against the floor, making Megamind wince. "SIR."
Another pun died on Megamind's lips. "Yeees, Minion?" he said instead, trying to sound meekly attentive.
"I was saying," Minion said, one hand on his hip, "that maybe you should ask Music Man for advice."
Megamind clutched at his chest, green eyes round with shock. "Minion!" he squeaked. "How could you even suggest that?"
The fish rolled his eyes. Who was the real drama queen in this relationship, anyway? "I don't have any more experience with this sort of thing than you do, sir. Whereas Met—Music Man has actually been on dates since high school."
"I've been on dates," Megamind argued weakly.
"Kidnappings don't count," Minion continued firmly, "and neither do dates with the holo-watch on. You said yourself that you wanted to start over with Roxanne, so if you really want sound advice..." He trailed off and raised a meaningful eyebrow.
Megamind sagged in defeat. "Alright, Minion, you win. I'll"—he grimaced—"call him in the morning. Ugh, the things I do for love…" That last little word just popped out without any warning, and Megamind felt suddenly glad that Minion didn't seem to have noticed its significance. Thank Evil Heaven.
Megamind turned to leave the room, but before he could take a step he heard a faint, tinny melody. "What's that?" he asked, turning in circles to try and pinpoint the noise.
"Your phone's on your desk, sir," said Minion helpfully.
Sure enough, the little device was buzzing its way across the metal surface. Megamind snatched it before it could vibrate itself off the desk entirely. He flipped it open, and a happy grin spread across his face as he read the message. "Oh! She had a great time, Minion!" he said. "She can't wait until Friday!" His excitement was contagious.
"Oh, that's excellent news," his friend commented, smiling.
Megamind blinked in sudden realization. "This—this is important," he said reverently, cradling the phone to his chest for a moment. "This is the first text she's ever sent me. Well, me me, not Bernard me." He looked to his friend again. "What should I say back?" he whispered, worry shining in his eyes.
Minion's eye twitched. Did Megamind ever listen to what he said? Had the whole "ask someone with actual experience" conversation flown completely over that giant blue head? Minion sighed and rubbed the front of his bowl, wishing for patience. "Perhaps some words of agreement are in order, sir," he said, trying his best to be diplomatic. Seeing the nervousness wash away from Megamind's face, relief taking its place, Minion thought that he'd made the right decision. As usual. He was a fantastic fish, after all.
"Ah, yes, of course, right," Megamind muttered, jabbing at the tiny keyboard. "Oh…good…me…too. See…you…then. Smiley face...no, not that symbol...MM. Perfect!" He hit "send" with a triumphant flourish.
Oh boy, thought Minion. Hopefully he wasn't going to read all of his texts out loud, or this would be a long evening.
Reviews always welcomed! :)