A/N Code Red is officially available today! Links in my profile! I'm celebrating by posting the much requested Rainbow outtake. Here's the trip from her POV. Thanks so much for all your support. It means more than I can say!
Sideline Collision Rainbow Outtake #2
What was this indignity? Why was he trying to put me in the thing like she did? Didn't he know that it was futile? Nothing could ever separate us, especially not this pink monstrosity.
"Just get in there, would you?"
No, actually, I will not. Holding onto the sides, pushing back against his big strong hands. I'm stronger, though, Daddy. You will not win.
Oh, no, that's not going to work either. Did he have to make me hurt him? Did he think it was fun for me to do so? I wasn't going into that thing and that was that. So he had to suffer. I clung to his arm as he yelled.
Daddy put me back on the bed and started throwing things into the pink thing, good things like my treats and my toys. Did he really think that was going to work? He'd give me my treats and toys when I wanted them anyway because that was the way it was. I wasn't going in there to retrieve them. I was too smart for that.
"I don't understand why you won't go in there. I put a fucking towel in there for you to lie on, didn't I? Do I have to go fucking buy you a fur so you'll be more comfortable?"
Actually, that would be preferable but it would still keep me away from where I belonged, which was with him. I tried to tell him that but he just glared at me.
"Haven't I been good to you so far? Did I push you off me every time you climbed on me when I came in the room? No, I did not."
Well, of course he didn't. He belonged with me and I belonged with him. We'd established this long ago.
"Didn't I let you sleep on me without complaint?" Liar. He complained. But I ignored it because I'm sweet and understanding and I was where I wanted to be.
"The car's packed. We're ready to go. All that's left is to get you in that thing and then hide it in my gym bag since I'm not about to be seen carrying a fucking pink cat carrier and then we're off. Don't you want to go home with me? My mom will probably spoil the shit out of you. You'll like it."
I'd been ready to go ages ago. It was him that was being difficult. Not me. I was a sweet angel.
He pointed at the pink thing. "Go. Prove you're superior to a dog, who would definitely go where I told them to fucking go." Because dogs are simpletons. I am much more complex, but you like me that way. I ignored him and began cleaning my foot, which needed grooming because he'd tried to force me into that carrier.
"Do you want me to leave you here?"
As if Daddy could ever do that to me. He loved me and Mommy would be mad, which he would never allow. He was afraid of her.
"Will you please get in the carrier?" He batted his eyes and stuck out his lips. I wasn't sure what that was all about but I wasn't getting in that thing. End of story.
He made an angry noise and picked me up, so I ran up to my special place and curled into his neck. See? Was that so hard? We could have been gone hours ago if he hadn't been so focused on shutting me away from him. Finally we were on the way. He moved us out and threw the ugly pink thing in some dark hole, probably where he was going to stash me, which was even more unacceptable. I heard him say his favorite word and turned to see what was going on. There were two more man people standing there and they started talking while one of them reached toward me. Daddy didn't seem to have a problem with it so I let him pet me and cuddled into Daddy. They left and we got into the car and I lay down on Daddy's shoulder. Life was good.
Riding on Daddy's shoulder was fun. But we were here now and some lady was cooing at me. She was a little weird but she looked like Daddy and she seemed to like me, so she might be okay.
"There she is! Aren't you a pretty kitty? Yes you are." Scratch that, she was clearly a highly intelligent human being. I let her hold me and snuggled into her. She smelled like something yummy.
"It's good to see you, too, Mom," Daddy said in a sharp tone. Mom? Where was she?
"You know I'm happy to see you even if you're not nearly as cute as she is." Oh, she was his mom. Did that make her my mom too? She kissed me all over my face and I didn't care what she was, I just liked her. She understood how important I was.
"Why don't you go put your stuff in your room and then you can come back and tell me all about finals and Bella." Bella. That was Mom's name. Was she here? She should be here to love on me, too.
Daddy started to walk away from me. He was getting taller and farther away which was not acceptable. I cried and the Mom laughed and put me down, so I ran to him, which was hard because I had to go up, but nothing was keeping us apart.
"She's really attached to you isn't she?" Daddy scooped me up and I cuddled into his neck while the Mom flashed a light at us. Why were people always flashing lights at me? Did they want to make me go blind?
"That's just the cutest thing I've ever seen." Yes, yes I was. Daddy carried us up the things and took me into a room that smelled just like him.
"You're more trouble than you're worth," he said, and I kissed him because we both knew that wasn't true. I was worth a whole lot. Daddy dropped some things on the bed and then showed me my things! Yay! I had to go and there was a fresh clean place to do so. I hopped in my box and took care of business while he got me food and water. This was the life, right here.
Daddy got up on the bed and I got on his lap and kneaded my paws into his leg to show him how happy I was that we were together. He said something about going to play with the Mom but I was with him where I belonged. He started talking into some box and I relaxed while he petted me. Yes, this was good.
Unacceptable! He left me here in this strange place with the Mom. She was nice but she wasn't my daddy! He'd fooled me, handing me to her and leaving before I knew what had happened. At first, I wasn't concerned. I assumed he was getting me something new to play with or something, but no. Days had gone by. It was FOREVER. I let the Mom hold me for awhile but that wasn't the same as being with Daddy so I struggled and she put me down.
This room was huge. I could hide in a billion places but then he couldn't find me and he darn well better be looking for me the instant he came back. What were those things? They were high! I could get up on the top and find my Daddy because they were even higher than him. I tested it out and my claws slipped right in. Oh yeah. I could do this. I inched my way up and then some sound happened and I started to slide and the Mom came running over.
"No, pretty girl, you can't climb the curtains. Edward's just going to have to fix that when he gets home, isn't he?"
Yes. Bring him home immediately to do whatever that is and give him back to me! The Mom just made a funny noise and patted my head as she put me back down. "You can explore but no climbing curtains or scratching furniture. You're cute but now I remember why we don't have any pets."
Humph. I sniffed my way around the room. I could smell Daddy and the Mom and someone else. At least they smelled good. No scent of The Smelly One here. At least that was something.
Hey, what was that? A tree! I could climb it and lookout for Daddy up there. I hopped up and something squished under my feet. That felt kinda good. Maybe I should potty in here to teach them a lesson about Daddy leaving me in strange places. I started digging and got ready to squat.
"No, Rainbow!" What? The Mom grabbed me and wagged a finger at my nose. "You got dirt all over my floor. I guess Edward will have plenty of cleaning to do. Come on, let's put you in his room before you do anymore damage."
She carried me up and put me back in our room, which was lonely because Daddy wasn't here. I cried a bit but she shut the door and left me alone. Unacceptable. I grabbed one of Daddy's shoes and played with the string for a bit but that got boring so I curled up on his pillow and smelled him. It was better than nothing.
Years later I heard someone coming and then I smelled him. Daddy! I hopped off the bed and the door opened and I threw myself at him. Daddy caught me like he always did and I yelled and he put me where I belonged. I gave him bunches of kisses. We must never be apart again.
"What the fuck did you do?" I did nothing. You did it. You abandoned me. You're lucky I'm forgiving.
Daddy bent us over to pick up the shoe I'd played with since he hadn't been around to entertain me.
"Shoes? Really? I wasn't gone that fucking long, you little terror." Yes, you were. You were gone forever. I smacked his head and purred and he sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I sort of missed you, too. I wish you'd been there when that girl started hitting on me. You would have scratched the shit out of her, wouldn't you?"
What girl? Yes, I would have. You're mine! I hit Daddy and kissed him again. He left me again but I could hear him in the other room and then he came back smelling even better and we got into bed and played until it was time to sleep against his neck. This was the way it should be.
Betrayal. I had been betrayed. Everything had been going along nicely but then they tricked me. They made me think there was a cool new bag to play in but no, it was a cage. I was trapped and I was very, very upset.
I kept crying and he ignored me. That was unacceptable. I was getting jostled and all I could see were legs and it was loud and little people kept coming up and trying to touch me. I didn't like them either. Don't put me down. Don't you dare put me down, Daddy. What is this? Where are we going? What's that noise? It's loud! Were we at THE LOUD ONE'S house? Was this her family?
No! NO, NO, NO! Where is my Daddy? How am I moving? What's that sound? I'm screaming but he is not saving me. This makes no sense! Now the thing I'm on jerked and I'm sitting here in the dark and I don't like that either. Where is he?
Finally I started moving toward the light and there was my daddy! He scooped me up where I belonged, in his hands, well, sort of. I was still in this cage, locked away from him.
"Stop yelling. You're embarrassing me. When we sit, I swear to God I'll pet you, okay?" Pet? That was better. I stopped crying. "I know you hate being cooped up and I don't blame you but if you would just go to sleep like a normal animal, you'd be fine and you'd wake up and we'd be with Reed Girl. Don't you want to see her?" That depended. Could I get out of this infernal thing if I saw her? Because then, yes, I wanted to.
I tried to answer him, quietly this time, and he finally stopped moving and at last the top was open and there was his hand! I rubbed all over Daddy, purring, trying to show him that I was a good girl and I didn't need to be trapped in this awful prison.
"You're so fucking weird." I was not. It wasn't weird to want to be with the one you loved and not imprisoned in an evil bag that had looked like a fun place to play. Trickery. Rude. I bit his fingers and then kissed him to let him know that I forgave him. He needed to get me all the way out of here, though.
He started talking to some woman who was not Mom or The Mom so I ignored all that and just concentrated on how good it felt to have him touching me again. Rub, rub, kiss, purr. Let me out, Daddy. Enough of this. I started to climb his hand but he pushed me off. Not fair!
"Stop. You can't get out." Why not? I want out so get me out!
Suddenly his hand was gone and that awful sound was back and I was locked away from him again. NO!
"Don't yell." Why shouldn't I? Wouldn't he if he were unjustly imprisoned and locked away from me? Of course he would!
More jostling and he carried me toward something that was making a high pitched noise that hurt my ears. I cried but he ignored me, which was just rude. I had some serious issues with his behavior since Mom left.
I cried again and he stopped moving, sitting down. Finally, we were going to be together again. But then he bent and shoved me down so that I had a view of his shoes. What was this? I would NOT stand for this! I screamed loudly. Some woman started talking to him which meant he wasn't paying attention to me so I yelled louder. The next thing I knew, the evil cage opened and he grabbed me. Before I knew what was going on, I was on his neck under a warm blanket and all was right with the world again. Why didn't he just save us both a lot of heartache and put me here in the first place? Silly Daddy. I purred and kissed him. Much better.
Daddy put me back in the evil thing one more time but he got me out quickly and then I was back where I belonged. It was cold in this place so I needed his heat even more. His neck was everything good in my world, it was warm and safe and strong. I rode on it when we were on some moving thing, the wind whipping in my face felt good even though it was cold. I had Daddy to keep me warm though. We got back in the moving thing and finally he stopped it.
"Let's do this," he said, stepping out with me on his shoulder. He started talking into that box thing.
The next thing I knew, a familiar voice was screaming and Mom was there, hugging Daddy. I smacked her head in case she thought about forgetting me. She pulled back and smiled at us, petting me. "What are both of you doing here?" I gave her a kiss. I had missed her and I knew Daddy had. He was super happy now, though, smiling away and loving on us both. This was my family and I loved them.
Mom and Daddy talked about some stuff that didn't matter and I purred and loved on them both. "Trust you to find a way to get him to break the rules." I stretched into her hands, happy to be free at last.
They started moving but I had business to attend to. I wiggled and Daddy stopped.
"Wait." Daddy set me down on the crunchy green stuff that felt weird on my feet. "She has to go. She does this little wiggle thing." I cried and tried to find my box but it wasn't here. "Don't bitch at me. You have to go, so go."
Rude. I went in front of them since I had no secret spot to go, and then ran back to him. "Yeah, yeah." He put me back on his shoulder where I belonged. "What?"
"You two can communicate with each other now? Maybe I should go away more often." Not if it meant I had to urinate publicly and get imprisoned! Never leave me!
They finally took me inside and it was much warmer here. Some guy came over and tried to climb on my daddy, which was my job. I didn't get mad at him, though, because he had a bug on his face that I needed to catch. I tried to get it but the guy moved, taking the bug away from my reach. Rude! I wanted to play!
Mom walked away and Daddy sat down. Since he was here and I was brave, I hopped over to the man. He laughed and I reached for the bug, trying to get it. He pushed me back onto his belly and petted me, which was fine for now. I would find a way to get that bug. It would require some planning since the man was out to thwart me. Why did he want a bug on his face anyway? I didn't understand. I was going to catch it and crush it.
The man leaned toward Daddy and that worried me so I left and sat on Daddy's lap, ready to protect him if the man tried anything. Or the bug did. The bug might crawl off and come try to get my daddy. Sure enough, it did. The man was talking and it moved when he talked. Then he leaned in and I touched it! It felt funny and kind of tickled my paw. But it didn't smash like it was supposed to. This bug was uncrushable. Strange.
They kept talking about things that had nothing to do with me so I tuned them out and focused on the bug. It moved but it never left its spot above the man's mouth. Was it attached there some way? Very weird.
Suddenly Daddy grabbed me and held me out to the man. What was this? Was he leaving me again? NO! The man held me so I couldn't follow, but I could hear Daddy talking to Mom in the other room so I relaxed a little.
"Cute little thing, aren't you?" Yes, obviously. What isn't cute is that thing above your lip. I want it. "You must've had some long trip with Edward. I can't believe Edward Cullen is in my house! Wait until I tell the guys. They couldn't believe it when I showed them the clip of him and Bella on SportsCenter. Wait until they meet him."
I wasn't sure what he was talking about but the bug was moving away, taunting me. I reached for it again but the man laughed and held me away from his face. "You like the stache, huh? All girls do."
What was a stache? The bug? It had a name. THE STACHE. It would be mine.
"I guess we better go see about dinner. Do you eat people food?" The man carried me into another room where Mom was doing things. Where was Daddy? The man set me on a chair.
"Where's Edward?" Yes, where was he?
"He went out to get Rainbow's stuff." Rainbow is me! I am Rainbow! Daddy is getting my stuff. Sure enough he came back in and I could smell my food. Yum, yum, yum, give me some!
"Do you have a bowl so I can feed the terror?" I didn't know what a terror was but I did know that Mom put food down for me so I hopped down and got to eating. I was starving! It had been a long, trying day filled with trauma. I needed a rest after my dinner.
They all talked while I ate and when I was done I went back to let Daddy know that I needed him to pick me up so I could sleep. He put me on his shoulder so I gave him a kiss and settled back in where I needed to be.
"That's the damndest thing I've ever seen. Does she always sit on you like that?" Was he talking about me? What was so weird about it? This was the best place in the world to be.
"Yeah, she loves him. She may technically be mine but as far as she's concerned, she's his and vice versa. I'm an interloper, aren't I, Rainbow?" Mom held out a hand to me and I smacked at it. I am his.
"She's yours," Daddy said. No. I rubbed against him and they all laughed. "Whatever, she's a baby. She doesn't know anything."
"She knows she loves you." Yes, I love my daddy.
"Yeah, well you love me, too." And now that I was no longer the focus, I went back to napping.
Daddy stood suddenly and shouted something about having to go and I yelled and the next thing I knew we were back in the moving thing. It made a loud noise and I cried again.
"It's not that I don't love her. But we've been together a fucking month. I don't want to think about mar…the M word, for at least a few years. What if her dad forces me to marry her tomorrow? He's got a gun and he's the head man in this town. He could force me. I kind of wish he was gay. Maybe he wouldn't be all gung ho for me to marry his daughter."
I didn't know what he was talking about but when the moving thing stopped moving, he took me into some bright place that was filled with lots of smells. He got some things that smelled familiar and then we were back in the moving thing. Finally we were in a room with a bed and I got up there while he went into the next room, making a lot of noise.
The door opened and Mom came in. I yipped at her and she laughed and got on the bed, laying down so that I could cuddle with her. I had my family back and the weird man with the STACHE bug wasn't here so everything was normal again.
"I hope you're ready to go to bed even though you slept all fucking day because…" Daddy came back and stared at us. "What are you doing here?"
Mom answered him and Dad got on the bed so I lay across his neck where I belonged. Bed time. Thank you very much. I'm exhausted.
They started talking and I tuned them out, only caring when Daddy moved and disturbed my rest. I was sound asleep when Mom moved me, carrying me into another room and throwing down a bunch of treats before closing it. Rude! I hated it when they shut me away while they made noises and had fun without me. It wasn't fair. I wanted to play too! But no. I had no choice but to wait until they stopped. I ate my treats and tried not to sulk. Mom kept calling Daddy's name and they were both breathing all heavy and making noises and slapping sounds and probably having a very good time without me. It wasn't fair.
Finally they stopped carrying on and Mom let me out. I ran to Daddy and got back to his neck. He smelled different, kind of saltier. I didn't like it but I wanted to be with him so I ignored it. Mom shut off the lights and got in next to us and I had warmth surrounding me. They talked about something called a vacation but I tuned them out and went to sleep. Everything was back as it should be now.
I didn't like it one bit. They left me here alone with the man and the STACHE. It wasn't that I didn't like the man. He was okay, but he wasn't my daddy or even my mom. Try as I might, I couldn't catch the STACHE and it upset me. Not as much as being abandoned by my family did, but still. It taunted me and the man wouldn't let me have it. His belly was good to lay on, cushy and comfortable, but it wasn't the same as being on Daddy. Daddy made me feel safest.
I kept going to look for him but he didn't appear. I didn't feel like sleeping but I had to. If he didn't return to me, I didn't know what I'd do. What if they were leaving me with the man and the STACHE forever? It could not be! I would not have it.
Light finally came but still no Daddy and Mom. The man gave me lots of treats and kept trying to get me to play but I wasn't giving in. I was going to be right here when they came back for me. Finally, after years, the moving thing came and there they were! The man opened the door and I ran right to my daddy, pouncing on his legs. He scooped me up and I gave him kisses before settling in my spot.
We went inside and I stayed with Daddy while Mom and the man ripped into some paper. It looked like fun to play with but I wasn't leaving my Daddy ever again. He grabbed a ribbon and swung it for me, so I stayed on his shoulder and tried to grab it. Nobody was as fun to play with as Daddy.
They cleaned up the mess and then Mom left. I stayed with Daddy. She'd come back for him and me, that much I knew. They talked and I just enjoyed listening to Daddy and feeling his words rumble through me.
A sound happened and Daddy stood, walking with me down the hallway. Some guy who looked like The Smelly One was standing there with a smile that was too big, holding smelly things that made me want to sneeze.
The guy got right up into Daddy's face and Daddy's eyes got very small, I could hardly see the color in them. "Something to say?" Uh oh, that was Daddy's mad voice. He used it with The Smelly One all the time. Maybe Daddy didn't like this guy either. I didn't like him. He upset my Daddy. And now that I could smell him better, he kind of did smell like The Smelly One. He better not try to touch me.
"Plenty. You're nothing but a temporary placeholder until she comes back to me. This is her home and she belongs here. She'll see that soon enough and then you'll only have that thing to keep you warm at night." He put his finger out and I took that as the threat it was, swiping him with my claws and arching my back and making noise so he'd know not to mess with me.
"What the hell? It scratched me!" It? Was he serious? I was not an it! I was going to scratch him again as soon as I could reach him. Daddy was laughing, so he wasn't mad about it. As long as he didn't care, I'd be okay.
"I guess we can see who the real pussy is now, can't we? I'd recommend you stay the fuck out of my face because I'll do more than scratch you if you try to fuck with what's mine." Daddy pushed the man. "Notice I didn't say take what's mine, because you're not remotely fucking capable of that."
"We'll see," he said. I growled at him and he jumped. "Jesus, keep that demon away from me."
"She's not a demon. She's our kitten and Bella loves her." The man started to move around us and Daddy moved me closer to him so I reached out and got him again. Thank you, Daddy. You understand my need to punish this man for calling me an it.
"What the fuck? Keep that thing away from me!"
"Oops. I'm sorry. You got a little close to her. She apparently doesn't like you. I wonder why."
"What's going on out here?" Oh, there was Mom. Hopefully I wasn't going to get in trouble now.
"Rainbow doesn't seem to like Riley." What was a Riley? That guy? No, I didn't like Riley at all.
Mom turned to that guy. "Are you okay, Riley?"
"Of course. Just a little scratch. She's tough like you are." Tougher than you, new smelly guy.
Mom laughed. "Oh, I think she takes more after her father in this particular case." Father? What was that? Whatever it was had Mom and Dad looking happy so it must be good.
"Right, well, these are for you." He handed her the smellys.
"Thanks. I'll just go put these in water. Dad's in the living room." He left and Mom turned to Daddy. "What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. Your cat, who has awesome taste, hates him. She swiped at him. I didn't provoke it." I did have awesome taste. That was true. After all, I loved Daddy. That said it all.
"What am I going to do with the two of you?" She held out her hand and I gave her kisses to show her how innocent I was in the situation. I had been attacked, so I attacked back. Self defense. There was nothing wrong with it.
"Give us both rewards?"
Mom laughed. "Go intimidate him some more and we'll see."
"We're on it. By the way, you look fucking hot in that apron." I didn't know what an apron was, but it sounded like Mom was okay with the way I'd handled the attack. Good.
Both Mom and Dad smiled and shouted something about love before Daddy took me back into the room where the man and the new smelly man were sitting. Daddy sat down on the couch and I climbed over him so I could be ready in case New Smelly, Riley, tried anything. I growled at him and he shifted away from me. Darn right.
"Right. What's wrong with the cat, Edward?" The man was staring at me.
"She doesn't seem to like Riley. I can't imagine why." Because Daddy didn't like him and he tried to attack me. That's why.
The man laughed and THE STACHE moved. "I didn't think that cat hated anybody."
"Oh, she hates one of my teammates. He has a drug problem." Daddy turned to New Smelly. "You don't indulge in drugs, do you, Riley?"
"Of course not! How dare you imply that?" He started yelling and I prepared to attack but that sound happened again and some more people came into the room. Daddy didn't seem to mind them so I let them pet me, which made Daddy laugh. Clearly I'd done something right. I loved it when Daddy loved what I did.
They all started talking and Daddy pet me while I kept an eye on New Smelly Riley. I didn't trust him.
I don't know what happened but suddenly everybody was up and Daddy carried me into the room where all the good smells were coming from and set me down on the counter.
"Where's everyone going?" Mom asked. I didn't care because something smelled incredible and I went for it but Mom took it away before I could get it. Daddy, though, grabbed some of it and ripped it up for me. Was it any wonder I loved him best?
"She deserves whatever she wants today." Well, everyday really, but I was happy to get what I wanted right now so I didn't argue. "We're going to play football."
Mom gave Daddy a funny look. "Are we? And just what do you have planned?"
"Nothing." He dodged when she tried to grab him. "Just watch and see."
"Edward…" He left but I didn't mind because I could see him outside and he was just talking to the guys, not leaving me or anything. I was all good and so was whatever I was eating.
"Your daddy is up to something, Rainbow. I wish I knew what he was doing." What he wasn't doing was getting me more food, which was a shame. I meowed and she just laughed and petted me. "I suppose it can't be too bad since my dad is out there."
Whatever. I wanted more of the good stuff. I cried again and she actually gave me some more. Excellent! Today was turning out to be a great day now that we were back together.
"Oh, hell!" Mom was moving toward the door quickly and I ran after her, hopping off the counter and going outside behind her.
"Is everything okay?" Mom stopped where the New Smelly was on the ground. I ran to Daddy and he scooped me up. "That had to hurt."
"I'm fine. He doesn't throw that hard." The STACHE man got New Smelly Riley up and he rubbed his ugly head. "Maybe I could get some ice for it."
"Sure, I'll get you some." New Smelly walked off with Mom and Daddy didn't look happy.
"Go get him, Rainbow," Daddy told me, putting me down. Well, since he wanted me to! I ran in front of New Smelly just like I did Old Smelly One, making him stop as I ran through his legs and he fell right over. Mom got out of the way and down he went. I could see that Daddy was smiling again. I did good!
"What is with that fucking cat?" New Smelly tried to kick me but missed as I got out of the way.
"Did you just try to kick an innocent animal?" Dad asked. I cried because it seemed like the time for it, after all, the man tried to attack me and I was so small and he was so big. It wasn't fair. I pressed into Daddy and he stroked my fur.
"Really, Riley, that's not acceptable," STACHE man said. "She didn't mean to trip you."
"She did, though. She doesn't like me. He probably told her to do it." He pointed at Daddy. He did tell me, but I would have done it on my own anyway because he was mean and smelled funny. And Daddy didn't like him, so I didn't either.
"Yeah, because cats do things on command." Mom didn't look like she believed us. Hehe. "I'd get her to clean her own litter box if that was the case." Daddy put me down and I got ready to strike if necessary.
"Whatever." Smelly got up. "I could really use that ice now."
"Sure." Mom took him toward the door. "Everybody take off those muddy shoes. I'm not cleaning up after you."
The men took off their shoes and Mom and Smelly headed inside. The man with the STACHE started talking to Daddy while I played in the grass. It didn't seem right that Smelly only got away with falling that one time. Or twice since Daddy knocked him down. I needed to do more. Where were his shoes? I sniffed and sniffed and finally found the ones that smelled like Smelly. Soon enough, they were going to smell like Rainbow. Rainbow pee, that is.
I climbed on one and squatted, doing my business there instead of the green stuff. It tickled anyway. Now Smelly would smell like my litter box when Daddy didn't clean it fast enough. Ha! Take that, Smelly.
"She's peeing on his shoe!" Daddy sounded very proud of me. Good! I wanted to make him happy.
"Well, I'll be damned. That's a funny little kitten you've got there."
"She's awesome." Yes, I am. I ran to Daddy and he grabbed me and kissed me on top of my head, which he'd never done before. Yeah, I'd done really well. "Nobody fucks with your little family, do they, Rainbow?"
No, they don't! I told Daddy so and kissed him while the man laughed. "Alright. Go check on her. I know you're dying to." Daddy carried me toward the door. "And Cullen? Nice throw."
We went inside at the same time that Mom hit New Smelly.
"What the fuck?" Daddy ran forward and we got close to Smelly who was glaring at us.
"Riley thought that my putting ice on his head was an open invitation to try to kiss me."
Daddy looked like he was going to hurt someone and Mom grabbed at him. I arched my back and hissed, ready to help Daddy take care of Smelly.
"He kissed her."
"He tried," Mom said. "I turned my head and he got my cheek, then he got my fist to his face."
"Riley, I think it's time for you to go," The Man told him. "If you can't respect my daughter and her boyfriend, you're not welcome here. Ever. Get your shoes and get out."
Smelly rubbed his face "Charlie, Bella, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and…"
"No, you weren't, but you'll have plenty of time to think on your own. Please leave." Mom had on her angry voice, the one she used when I broke my treat bag and ate them all. Daddy pulled her against us and we stood united while Smelly left. Mom gave Daddy a hug when the room was empty.
"So, that happened." Mom laughed at Daddy.
"I can't believe you threw a ball into his head."
"Hey, you punched him and Rainbow scratched him, tripped him and pissed on his shoe." I did do all those things. I was the best.
Mom laughed really loudly. "She peed on his shoe? When?"
"When you brought him in to get his ice." Mom made a face. "What the fuck happened?"
"He bitched about how you and Rainbow were out to get him and I just laughed it off and got him ice. I brushed his hair aside to see if I could see a bump and he took that as an invitation I guess." She looked really mad. "He leaned in and I tried to get completely away but he grabbed me so I just turned my head." Daddy growled. I liked it!
"Then I hit him," Mom said.
"You have a good right cross, baby. Remind me not to piss you off."
She laughed. "I'll do that."
"I'm glad I got to see your mad skills, especially since they weren't directed at me."
"I told you I could kick some ass."
"So you did." Daddy looked at Mom's hand."Now it looks like you need some ice." He kissed it and pulled her close to us again.
"I just need you." And me. I reminded her of that by placing my paw on top of her head. "And Rainbow." Darn right. We were a family and we'd all stick together to take on the Smellys of the world.
"We're all a pretty awesome team."
"That we are," Mom said, smiling. "I love you, both." Mom was pretty cool and I loved her, too. Not as much as Daddy, but that was okay. I belonged to both of them and we'd taken care of the bad man together. Definitely a good day. Hopefully we'd have more fun like that soon. Maybe they'd help me get THE STACHE. It was worth a shot!
A/N Yes, a sequel is still planned. I have Words outtakes to post soon, then I'm going to tackle Poison and then Sideline outtake which I'm tentatively titled Getting Blitzed. Be on the lookout!
ETA: My new email only lets about half my reviews through, so if I've missed you lately, I'm sorry! I'll try to catch them through FF but it isn't always easy! Things are nuts right now so if I don't respond right away, you know why! Love you all and thank you though!