Hello there! No, your eyes are not deceiving you! I'm finally here! It's taken me far too long to get back into the swing of things, but maybe now that I got this written, other things will follow! Here's hoping.

This is for Deb, who bid on me in an auction and has waited patiently for me to get off my ass and write it. There's been a number of valid and invalid reasons for how long it took me, but she's never complained and I hope she loves it and thinks it worth the wait. She wanted more of everyone's favorite kitty creating her special kind of havoc, and I remembered a throwaway line I'd written about her misbehaving while Edward went to QB camp that first summer after Sideline. So that's what we have here...one kitty angry about her Daddy abandoning her for 2 weeks. This definitely solidified Reed Girl's plan to have Champ take Rainbow with him when he got into the NFL. And we know what happened with all that!

Thanks to jenrar for continuing to beta when I randomly throw a chapter at her, and thanks to you all for being patient, checking on me, and sticking with me all these years. I definitely haven't gone anywhere. Just been working a whole lot and having a hard time looking at a computer screen when I don't have to. But I missed you and I hope to have more things for you in the near future. Writing this was fun, and as long as it stays fun, I will keep on doing it. I hope you're all well! Love and best wishes to every single one of you.

Sideline Outtake- Rainbow's Revenge

Quarterback camp was even cooler than usual this time around. I mean, every time I'd been to camp, I had a good time, and obviously I stood out from the others from day one. But this year, coming off winning a National Championship game… I was a god here. Nearly as popular as Peyton and Eli. It was awesome. Everyone wanted to talk about my season, my Heisman, the game, and yeah, even my girl. They were all jealous fuckers, as well they should be. I clearly had the most amazing girl, and they all saw that.

I missed Reed Girl like crazy. I'd only been away from her for one day and one night, but already that was too long. We hadn't spent any time apart since the game, and we'd officially moved in with each other last semester. Living with Reed Girl was better than I could have imagined. I never got tired of her, and of course having her in bed with me every night was a major bonus. I was clearly whipped, but I didn't even care.

The first thing I did when we finished practice for the day was head to my phone. We'd made a promise to talk after dinner every night, but even that wasn't enough for me. I figured I'd leave her a text just to let her know I was thinking of her before I headed to the showers and then met up with the guys for some food.

I couldn't help but smile when I powered up my phone and saw that I had a text waiting from her. Of course, she missed me, too. How could she not?

Call me as soon as you see this.

Well, that sounded a little ominous. I wasn't about to wait until after my shower to find out what that was about, so I immediately FaceTimed her.

"Edward, thank God!"

Those were her first words when she accepted my call and her face appeared. Her eyes looked a bit wild and her hair was all mussed, her face flushed. Shit. Something bad must have happened.

"What's going on, baby? Your text has me worried."

"Your cat! That's what's going on!" She threw up her hands, gesturing wildly.

Okay, she said that shit kind of loud, so I glanced around to make sure nobody heard her before heading out of the locker room. This was clearly not something I wanted the guys to hear. Also, what the fuck was wrong with Rainbow? Hopefully she wasn't hurt.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, heading out of the stadium.

"She isn't happy that you're not here."

Well, Jesus Christ. That was no big deal.

"Is that all? You had me worried, Reed Girl. I thought something was really wrong with her."

My girl heaved a giant sigh. "Is that all? You haven't heard what she did."

Okay, maybe there was reason to be worried. We all knew Rainbow was vengeful as fuck. She could get up to any number of things when left to her own devices, and Reed Girl looked like she'd been through the ringer.

Rather than wait for my roommate, I headed back to the dorm. It wasn't like I needed anyone listening in on this conversation. It was only a matter of time before Reed Girl said cat again, or even worse…

"Your daughter expressed her displeasure over you not returning home last night by shredding my favorite shirt, and then peeing on it for good measure."

I tried, I really did, but I couldn't completely stop the laugh that slipped out. Reed Girl's glare in response was epic, but come on! It was vintage Rainbow. And it brought back very fond memories of a certain asshole in Washington who was probably searching the streets of Forks for my girl, who elected not to go home this summer, thank you very much. Suck on that, Riley.

Also, if I were being honest, I didn't really like Reed Girl's favorite shirt. It was huge and didn't show off her killer body at all. It was likely stolen from Charlie. Unless…

"That shirt is huge on you. Did you steal it from your dad?" It had better be from her dad. Because if it was from Riley, I was going to burn it when I got home if it wasn't already in the trash.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

When I just waited, my girl rolled her eyes. "Yes, it was Charlie's. It's the softest shirt ever, and I love to wear it to bed at night."

Good. But still, there was a bright side. As usual, Rainbow was looking out for me.

"So, sleep naked. I like that better anyway."

Reed Girl just shook her head. "All you think about is sex."

As if that was a problem? "Yeah, so?"

"So, what I wear to bed is not the issue here. The issue is that Rainbow is already pissed off you're not here. What else is she going to do?"

I mean, Reed Girl had a point. Nobody knew what kind of destruction Rainbow would partake in without me being around for that long. But she needed to get used to it.

"I don't know, baby, but she's going to have to learn to deal. Next year at this time, I'll be in training camp who knows where and she'll be with you while you finish up school."

Reed Girl snorted. "I don't think so, Champ. She's going to be wherever you are."

I halted in front of the dorm we were staying in for camp. It fucking sucked being in an actual dorm, which was nothing like the football dorm I was used to in Tally. I'd wanted to get a room at a local hotel, but rules were rules. Fuck that noise.

"What are you talking about? She'll stay with you until you move in with me."

"Sure. One day without you and she's already destroying and peeing on things. You think I'm going to go months on end with her alone? Sorry, Champ, but she's going to be with her daddy."

I cringed when one of the guys walked up and gave me a nod. I hoped he hadn't heard that daddy shit.

"Reed Girl, can you not call me that? You know I hate it."

Finally, some of the anger was gone from her face and she gave me a beautiful grin. "I know. That's what makes it fun."

I couldn't help but smile at her, even if she was giving me shit. That was my Reed Girl.

"I'll make you pay for that when I get home," I told her with a smirk as I pushed open the door to the dorm. Better to finish this conversation in the privacy of my crappy room than out in the open where anybody could hear. I wasn't sure if it was worse if they thought I had a kid or a cat.

Reed Girl licked her lips. "I'll look forward to that, but in the meantime, talk to your daughter."

Yeah, I knew what was coming, so I hightailed it down the hall and unlocked my room just as Rainbow's face appeared on the screen. I wasn't sure if she actually saw me or if she was just annoyed to be plopped in front of Reed Girl's screen, but she let out a loud yowl.

Fucking hell. I slammed the door shut and quickly flopped onto my bed as Rainbow yelled again. It was fucking loud and the first one had echoed down the hallway, so I figured anyone in rooms nearby could hear her. Thank fuck I'd called while most everybody was in the locker room showering.

"Shut the hell up, Rainbow! I'm right here. Stop yelling."

And just like that, the angry yowl stopped and Rainbow started headbutting the phone. I had to laugh as the screen just became a blur of gray and whiskers. Then the purring started. I heard Reed Girl sigh before laughing lightly.

"See? All she needs is you and she's happy."

It was true. That crazy cat loved me. I couldn't blame her because I was awesome, and I wasn't mad at her about the shirt because ruining it did nothing but benefit me if it got my girl to sleep naked all the time. I really didn't see a problem here. But I knew Reed Girl wanted me to do something, so I did the only thing I could do and tried to lay down the law with a fucking cat. As if I could.


More purrs and headbutts. Fucking hell.

"Rainbow, look at Daddy."

I glared at Reed Girl as she pulled the phone away from Rainbow and held it out of reach. Rainbow tried to grab it, but Reed Girl used her free hand to tumble the crazy kitten into her lap.

"Talk to her," my girl ordered as she held the squirming bundle in her lap.

I figured I'd better because Rainbow's fur was starting to poof and I didn't want her turning on Reed Girl.

"Rainbow calm down. I'm right here."

She let out a pathetic little meow and tried to get to the phone again. Reed Girl laughed and brought the phone back down in front of Rainbow, taking herself out of the picture. Unacceptable. I wanted to see my girl while I could. I missed her. But as Rainbow's face filled the screen, I had to admit I missed her too, even if she was a pain in the ass. Probably because of it if I were being honest.

I pointed a finger at the screen. "You need to stop peeing and attacking things. I'm alive and well. I'll be home soon. I can't be with you twenty-four seven, you weirdo. Be a normal cat and go sleep for twenty hours."

Rainbow put her paw on the screen, and I laughed seeing her little paw pad cover the whole picture. It was like she was trying to tell me to shut up, like she did when she put it over my mouth during one of our talks if I said something she didn't like. I was fairly sure she understood every word I said, even if that was insane. Rainbow was just that smart or that much of a smart ass. Probably both.

"Don't you tell me to shut up. You know how to behave, Rainbow."

The paw came off and her little face filled the screen again. I swear those golden eyes were looking at me accusingly.

"It's only for a couple weeks. I'll be home before you know it. And if you're good, I'll bring you a present."

No, I wasn't above bribery, and yes, I was attempting to bribe a fucking cat. I'd clearly lost my mind along with Rainbow. I'd pick her up one of those catnip toys. She loved the dynamite one.

My words got me another meow, though it didn't sound as annoyed as her earlier ones, and another headbutt to the phone. Plus the return of the purr. And, most importantly, Reed Girl let out one of her cute giggles, the kind she always gave when she watched Rainbow interact with me. Even if talking with Rainbow had probably been futile, at least I'd restored my girl's good humor. That was the most important thing.

She tilted the phone so I could see her gorgeous face again, and I grinned at her.

"Happy now? I laid down the law."

Reed Girl laughed again. "If bribery is laying down the law, sure. Is that how you're going to be with our kids someday?"

I did a bit of a double take at her words. We'd never really discussed the kid thing, although I knew I was going to marry her one day and yeah, we'd have some kids eventually. Like in ten or fifteen years maybe.

Reed Girl's smile faded. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said…"

I hurried to cut her off, not wanting her to get upset again. I wasn't freaking out…much.

"It's fine. That's a long way off, but probably? Bribes always worked on me."

She smiled again, though not as brightly as before. "Don't worry, I'm not in any rush for that either. We already have our hands full with this one." She petted Rainbow and got some headbutts now that the brat was in a better mood having heard from me.

"That's true. How we ended up with the most high-maintenance cat in the world is beyond me."

Then, at the same time, we both said, "Emmett."

"Trust my jackass brother to pick out two completely opposite kittens. Lord knows what Rainbow did to Emmett Junior when they were alone in my dorm room. She scarred him for life."

I swear, I'd not laid eyes on that kitten since Emmett gave him to Blondie. He hid all the time. Emmett claimed he came out when it was just the three of them, but I had my doubts. Maybe Blondie had really killed him in her rage at Emmett and they just covered by pretending he was there. I wouldn't put it past them.

"She's definitely meant to be an only pet," Reed Girl agreed.

Thank God for that. I couldn't imagine a second Rainbow. One was more than enough.

My roommate, John, came in and asked if I was going to go grab food with them.

"Yeah, just a sec."

He nodded, grabbed his wallet, and headed back out.

"I'll call you when I get back, okay?"

Reed Girl nodded. "Yeah. Thanks for talking to her. Maybe we can put you in front of her once or twice a day and she'll behave."

I laughed. Only Rainbow would require a daily talking to from me, but I was more than willing to do it if it made my girl happy.

"Okay. I'll talk to you both when I get back. Be good, Rainbow."

She meowed, which I took as an agreement.

"Love you, Reed Girl."

"I love you, Champ. Talk to you soon."


I started every morning and ended every evening with a FaceTime call with both Reed Girl and Rainbow. I was sure John thought I was pussy whipped even without knowing about the cat, but I didn't care. Rainbow was behaving, more or less, and I missed Reed Girl something fierce. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive without her when I graduated and went into the NFL. I hoped she would be able to get enough credits to graduate early. She was trying. Her summer class load was pretty daunting, but she was doing really well.

One of her classes had them taking a road trip up to Atlanta to visit the aquarium. They were only going to be gone for a day, but to say we were both terrified of Rainbow's reaction was an understatement. Our friends were gone for the summer, and we'd debated kenneling her, but Rainbow in a cage for twenty-four hours or so was a scary-ass thought. In the end, we agreed to let her stay home and just hope for the best.

Reed Girl sent all sorts of awesome pictures and videos from the aquarium. My girl was quite taken with the huge stingrays and whale sharks, and I was pretty sure one of the beluga whales was flirting with her. I swear it was smiling at her in every picture. Reed Girl had a blast on her trip, and I was glad she got to have a little fun while I was away. The pictures and videos made me burn to be with her again. Two weeks was two weeks too many. I'd jerked off in the shower once, but it wasn't the same without her. I was saving myself to ravage her when I got home.

I waited anxiously for Reed Girl's message that she'd arrived home. I knew she was likely sleeping on the bus, as it was a bit over four hours between Tally and Atlanta. I couldn't wait to hear more about her trip, but I admit I was also nervous about what she might find when she got home. Rainbow had been on her best behavior since our talk, but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach the entire time my girl had been away.

They'd left before six in the morning and were getting back in the middle of the night. I'd tried to sleep but wasn't able to, so I ended up playing on my phone while I waited for word from her. Finally, a little after midnight, I got a text.

We just got back. I'm getting in the car, and I'll call you when I get home.

Good. I texted her back that I'd talk to her in a few and then got out of bed, pulling on a shirt and shorts before heading out to the lounge to await her call. John was asleep, and I didn't need to give him more ammo to add to his teasing over my being whipped. Fuck that noise. He was just jealous.

Reed Girl called about ten minutes later, and I quickly accepted the FaceTime request. She looked gorgeous, if a bit tired, but she was smiling, so I breathed a sign of relief. All must be well with Rainbow.

"Hey, baby. Is the coast clear?" I asked.

She let out a little giggle and smiled at me.

"I think we can safely say that she's not mad at me."

Reed Girl angled the phone, and I saw Rainbow rubbing all over her legs. Damn, those sexy legs. I couldn't wait to have them wrapped around me again.

"Well, thank God! I guess we dodged a bullet."

Reed Girl brought the camera up and shook her head. "I said she's not mad at me."

What did that mean? Surely Rainbow wasn't pissed at me, was she? What had she done?

"What did she do?"

Reed Girl flipped the image on her phone, showing me the living room. I didn't see anything until the camera zeroed in on my chair. My favorite cushy recliner that I loved to sit in with Reed Girl in the evening and chill in front of the TV. The normal sage green cushion was smeared with something brown. Oh, fuck no.

"Tell me that's not…"

"Oh, but it is. And I'm not cleaning it."

"Cleaning it? It's fucking ruined. It needs to be fumigated. What the fuck, Rainbow?"

It was one thing for Rainbow to ruin Reed Girl's things, but mine? She loved me best, damn it.

Reed Girl flipped the camera back around and put it in front of Rainbow.

"How could you ruin my chair?" I demanded.

She looked curiously at the phone, but instead of the usual headbutts and purrs, she turned her back and walked away. Holy fucking shit.

"Did she turn her back on me?" I asked, shocked.

Reed Girl came into view, and she looked just as surprised as I was.

"Yeah. I guess she decided to be mad at you for leaving, finally? I was sure I was going to find ruined shoe or clothes, or God forbid a peed-on bed, not your chair covered in cat shit."

That wasn't just cat shit. A turd would be easy cleanup and I might not have to throw away my chair. This was purposeful disgusting cat diarrhea. Somehow, she'd made herself that upset. Only Rainbow could will herself to do that. Fucking gross.

"Rainbow! Get back here!" I yelled, completely forgetting the time and where I was. How dare she walk away from me?

Reed Girl got up and tracked Rainbow down, holding her in front of the camera again. She could do that much, but she couldn't make Rainbow look at me. She turned her little face to the side, and I could only see the side of a golden eye. And it was a very epic side-eye.

"Oh no. You don't get to be mad at me. I'm the one who's mad at you."

She still wouldn't look at me. In fact, she turned her head around even farther, like she was in The Exorcist or some shit. Hell, she probably was. It fit her to a T.

"Rainbow! What you did was very bad. I'm coming home in a few days."

Still nothing.

"Reed Girl is the one who left you totally alone. Blame her," I tried, desperately trying to get Rainbow to look at me. Instead, I got a glare from my girl before she put the camera back down to Rainbow's level.

"Come on, Rainbow. I'm not mad."

That was a lie, but I was finding myself less mad and more upset that she wouldn't look at me.

"Look at me, please."

Reed Girl tried, crooning to Rainbow in the background. "Look at Daddy, baby girl. He's not mad at you."

That earned a tail swish and nothing else. I remembered that swish. She gave that swish when she peed on Riley's shoes. Oh God. She was giving me the Riley treatment. Fuck that noise.

"Rainbow," I said in the voice I used when we were alone and having one of our talks. I didn't want her mad at me. God knew what else she might do before I got home. And, if I were being honest, I just didn't like having her upset with me. She was supposed to adore me. This was fucked up.

Reed Girl nudged her, but nothing. Fine. Fuck it.

"Rainbow, come to Daddy," I called. I had never used that word before, hating it when Reed Girl did, but Rainbow turned her head and finally looked at me. "That's right, Rainbow. Don't be mad at Daddy. I'll be home soon. I don't care about the chair. I'm sorry we left you."

She slowly approached the camera, and I waited. Finally, after what felt like hours, she headbutted the camera again. She purred, and I blew out a relieved breath.

Reed Girl picked her up, and both of them shared the screen. "Well, it looks like the crisis may be over." She laughed. "But get your ass home soon. I think I can drag the chair onto the porch, but that's about as much as I can do."

I had to laugh with her, now that both of my girls were happy with me again. "See if you can find a cleaning service. I'll pay to get it done as soon as they're open. But we're still getting rid of it."

Reed Girl laughed.


She let out a yawn, and yeah, it was past time we went to bed.

"I'll call you guys in a few hours. And probably every few hours until I get home just to keep that crazy cat happy."

"That's probably a good idea." My girl giggled. "I love you. So does Rainbow." She waved Rainbow's paw at me, and I laughed.

"I love you, and for some unknown reason, I love her, too. Sweet dreams, baby."

"Sweet dreams."

I disconnected the call and shook my head. Life sure was fucking crazy since these girls came into my life. And I wouldn't change a damn minute of it. Okay, maybe the minute Rainbow had ruined my chair, but that was it. I couldn't wait to get back to my girls. damn minute of it. Okay, maybe the minute Rainbow had ruined my chair, but that was it. I couldn't wait to get back to my girls./p