Chapter Twelve



Dear Diary,

Today was… quiet.

We didn't talk much in practice, just a few words of encouragements from me and a few words of agreements from her. We couldn't go back to the light fluffy mood we had back then since the presence of last night's events hanged around us like a damp cloth, stuffing out any light there was for us to grab on.

I went through my day quietly.

At guardian practice, I did a few warm ups, ran and had a go punching the bag a few time but my mind and heart wasn't in it. It kept running back to Rose. How was she going? Were the other novices picking on her? Were they spreading rumours? Is she alright? Is the princess alright?

I went off to gate duty after training but I wouldn't say that with the state of mind that I'm in right now, I would actually save anyone. This was my weakest hour and thankfully there wasn't an attack.

As I said my good byes to the gate guys, I walked back to campus and headed straight to the staff room. I needed a black bread hit and fast!

The first thing I did when I stepped into the staffroom was grabbing a mug of the rack. It was my favourite mug. Alberta gave it to me last year for Christmas. It was red with a flying reindeer on it and snowflakes surrounding it. Filling the kettle with water and popping it on the stove, I started to pull out my stash of black bread I hid behind Alberta's cookie jar on the left shelf. No, absolutely no one touched Alberta's cookie jar. The last guy who did couldn't throw a punch in a month. Ouch, I know. So this was the safest hiding spot for me to hide my precious stash. Precious…

Oh my god, I was possessed by that guy from the ring a second ago. Scary…

As I waited for the kettle to boil, I paced in front of the stove. There weren't much people in here, just a few who were waiting for their shift or those that were only popping in to get a refill for their coffee. Coffee is a precious gift for us guardians. It's what warms us on late shifts, what keeps us awake and usually the one that helps us solve our problems – though coffee haven't solved mine yet, if you catch my drift.

As I paced the small space in a three strides, I began to think and when I think dear Diary, I let out this aura that just goes "Piss off" to people. Or so I was told by Alberta. What? She is like a mother and friend put into one! So it's obvious I tell her everything… okay not everything. If I did then I would have lost my dignity years ago. Some people are still whispering about that karaoke incident.

When I turned back the thirtieth time, I only noticed a figure standing beside me and watching me. Looking over, I turned to see Stan looking at me. I ignore him and paced on.

I was deep in thought. Like very deep in thought when the idiot who didn't get the vibe suddenly blew all my thoughts away with his outrageous comment.

"Did you hear what the kids are spreading around school these days?"

I shook my head and paced on, intending to ignore him but one word caught my attention: "Rose."

I whipped my head around immediately which only cause Stan to smile his malicious smile, making my cringe. God, it was like he was baring his teeth at me.

"Well," Stan started and leaned in closer like we were gossiping young girls. "I heard from Nagy, who heard it from the cooking teacher who heard it from the Slavic Arts teacher that Rose Hathaway is…" Stan paused dramatically and gave me this look that said "It's a big no-no."

When I had enough of this intense silence, I was about to whack him on the head, Stan opened his mouth and said, "A blood whore."

A part of me – and I mean the sister influenced part of me – wanted to go "No!" The other part of me that was raised in a commune wanted to shrug but the biggest part of me that I dare call a man, roared in fury as those three words flew out of Stan's ugly ass mouth!

What did he just say?

Blood whore eh?

I stared at Stan fury and rage burning in my eyes, but it was oblivious to him that I was going to kill him in his sleep tonight since all I can see I his eyes now are pride and triumph. That bastard!

The kettle that was on the stove chose the right time to shout. I turned around from that hideous face and took the kettle off and placed its coaster. I snatched a tea bag from the self, threw it in my cup and poured some water in it.

God, I was already on the edge and my black bread levels were low, now after this news, I was completely pushed off the edge.


"Hey," Stan piped up as he looked at what I was doing, "can I have a cup too?"

A felt a dark thought clouding my mind as an evil smile stretch on my face.

"Of course, it is my pleasure."

Stan held out his cup with a smile that made his eyes close, the minute it close, I accidently poured some of the water on his hand. This caused him to yelp in surprise. I rushed him quickly to the sink and turned the cold water on immediately. Though it wasn't gentlemanly of me, I couldn't help it.

He insulted Rose!




Pure, sweet, caring and funny Rose! The asshole!

Luckily – unfortunately – there was nothing wrong with his hand.

I badly want to rip his throat out.

My god I was acting like a love sick fool.

I'm not in love with her so why am I thinking such thought?


Out of anger and frustration, I took a swig of the hot tea and nearly spit the whole thing out as my tongue began to burn. Karma! I could feel someone yelling it at me.

After swallowing five ice cubes to cool the raging fire on my tongue, I sat on one of the staff room chair and began to munch on my bread for the rest of the day.

The day past by in a blur with me in the staff room stuffing down black bread like there is no tomorrow! What can I say, I eat with I'm on an emotional rollercoasters. I can feel the war raging inside me as one side – let's call them blue – say I shouldn't care and act like it's normal, after all I am her mentor while the other side – let's call them red – are going on how I should be there to shield her.

Yes, I feel like it is a mental fever. One minute I'm fanning myself because of the heat the next I'm shivering in the cold. The tea and the black bread are giving the two sides resting time. That I am happy about but it will only last for now.

In the end, Red won out and I found myself marching to Rose's room and knocking on her door.

I have a plan.

A very good plan.

And it is about to go in action.

Go Agent Belikov! 007 in disguise!

Oh My God! I can't believe I wrote that.

She opened the door immediately and the first I saw was two teary eyes, shining up to me. The vulnerability and the heart ache almost made me swoop in and hug her. I'm the protective type okay? Cut me some slack and I like giving hugs. They're nice.

(Random AN: If You guys want to see my copy of VA go to my blog)

I could see her eyes all red and puffy then it hit me: the rumour had cracked her. Oh I'm going to crack some serious asses tonight.

"Are you okay?" I found myself asking.

"It doesn't matter if I am, remember? Is Lissa okay? This'll be hard on her."

I was kind of shock about this. This girl I see in front of me, who is deeply hurt, is putting her friend in front of her. Why? She's too young. I guess she is already made guardian just without the official mark.

I tipped my head to the side and started walking, not trusting myself to talk or do anything! What if I hugged her? What if I confessed my love to her? Wait what love?

That love.

Shut it Diary, this is none of your concern.

Yes it is. If it isn't then why are you writing to me?

… Just shut up!

Okay, so I walked her to the back stairwell. This was usually a locked up place but I managed to weasel the keys out of Alberta. Part A, Check!

I opened it and gestured her inside.

"Five minutes," I warned her and closed the door just after I caught a glimpse of Lissa. Part B, check!

So, I stood guard while they had their conversation.

Yeah… Doing what I did best.

I can't wait to see her happy face after this.

I started to hum a tune as I waited for them to finish their conversation. I glanced down at my watch.

T minus 150 seconds.

I swear I should stop watching re-runs of Mission Impossible.

As I waited and waited, I hummed a little tune.

"Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,

Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,

Brighter than a lucky penny,

When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,

And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine –"

I was, unfortunately cut off from my favourite verse due to the small beep beep from my watch. The time I set on my watch was the time that there will be a guardian on patrol in three minutes.

So, I stuck my head in and said, "You've got to get back inside, Rose, before someone finds you."

With that I took her back to her room. She didn't look happy though, much to my dismay.

Mission Failed.

Oh Shut Up Dimitri!

You shut up Diary!

Okay, nighty night. I have to sleep. I need to think of a solution to make Rose happy again. Not because I like her or anything… It's just that a happy student is a good student. That's all.




AN: Okay guys, if you want to see my copy of VAgo on my blog – ( . . c o m) Just without the spaces. Oh, I have a question for Not Such A Badass After All – if you guys read it – would you prefer "Laundry" or "Haircut"? Most votes win.