*You phone a random person*
Ring! Ring! Ring!
PERSON ANSWERS: Hello?
YOU: I'm captain Jack Sparrow, Savvy?
PERSON: Umm Who?
YOU: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly.
PERSON: Is something wrong?
PERSON: Do you need something?
YOU: Where is it? Where's the thump-thump?
PERSON: Are you okay?
YOU: She's only a ship, mate.
PERSON: What are you TALKING ABOUT?
YOU: Cuttlefish. Let us dear friends, not forget our dear friends the cuttlefish.
PERSON: You're a WEIRDO!
YOU: Oh! I'm sorry I didn't know, if I see one I shall inform you immediately.
PERSON: YOU'RE MAD!
YOU: Well thank goodness for that because if I wasn't this would probably never work!
PERSON: Listen, if you don't tell me what you want then I'm hanging up!
YOU: You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?
YOU: Dirt. This is a jar of dirt.
PERSON: Are you drinking?
YOU: But why is the rum ALWAYS gone?
PERSON: So the point of your call IS?
YOU: She's safe just like I promised, she's all set to marry Norrington like she promised, and you get to die for her, like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... Except for Elizabeth who is indeed a woman...
PERSON: What? YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE DEAD HERE!
YOU: Am I not?... Oh.
PERSON: Please, just tell me... Why did you call?
YOU: Think like Will, think like Will, think like Will!
PERSON: Are you mentally retarded?
YOU: Nobody move! ... I dropped my brain!
PERSON: I'm hanging up, DONT CALL BACK!
YOU: My hands are clean in this weirdness.
PERSON: Uhhh! GOODBYE!
YOU: This is the day you will always remember, as the day that you almost-
YOU: Oh! Peanut!