5A/N: Huh… one review… NICE! Well, here's the second chapter of Randomness Ensues. I recently realized that I haven't updated in a while, even though this stuff is freaking easy to write.
Disclaimer: Actually… I AM HIROMU ARAKAWA! I OWN – OW! Jeez, who the hell keeps hitting me? Fine, fine… *sigh* I don't, in any shape, form, or size, own FMA.
It was a horrible battle. In fact, it was even worse than the Trojan War. But mostly because "The Wrench Throwing Slut" and "The Psychopathic Palm Tree" charged at each other in a 12 person room. As I have stated earlier, there were currently 13 people in the tiny-office-turned-big-made-small-again, and even though Edo-Chan is in chibi form and therefore takes up little space, he still exists and makes charging very hard. Actually, it's his fault that the fight even started in the first place. It's also his fault why the battle was worse than the Trojan War (reasons stated above). Please excuse me while I fix this…
[Censored]
Now that I have fixed the problem, there are currently… let's see… 1, 2, 3… 5 people in the room. Edo-Chan, Breda, Envy, Falman, Winry, and Hawkeye all decided that it was best for them to… um… hang out in that closet over there, because closets are very nice and roomy. Yep. That's definitely what they did… *Ahem* moving on with-
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO BREDA! ! ! ! ! ! ? GIVE ME BREDA, FOR HE WAS MY ONE TRUE LOVE! ! ! ! !" yelled Mustang. There was actually no reason for Mustang to be there, because he already got to appear in the last chapter. He even got the most space time. Hmmm… maybe I should… convince… him to… join all the others in the bungalow. Wait, closet! I mean, uh, closet… yeah…
[Censored]
"What the hell did you do to everyone, Queen NekoChan! ?" yelled Fuery. Fuery would probably never say that, for Fuery is nice. But Queen NekoChan decided that he needed a little personality makeover. In fact, Queen NekoChan decided that everybody was a little boring. Which is part of the reason why she started writing this. The other part is because she had nothing to do and thought it might be a little fun to post a story the minute she was able to. Quite literally, actually; she could start posting stories after 8:03, and she posted it at 8:04.
"I said what the hell did you do to everyone! ! ! ! !" Fuery was really angry now.
"Ah, you see, I… um… told them how nice it would be in that closet! You see, that closet is top notch, and much comfier than Stan's Previously Used Coffins (1)!" Queen NekoChan was telling the truth. After all, Stan could no longer manage his store, for I nailed him shut in one of his own coffins. It was pretty easy, actually, you just – ow! Seriously, stop hitting me! … Fine. I won't tell you how to get rid of Stan…
"And how – exactly – could they get in a closet WHEN THERE'S NO CLOSET IN THIS ROOM? ! YOU NAILED THE FUCKING DOOR SHUT, PSYCHO BITCH! ! !" Alphonse proved to be mad after this outburst… Yes, Al yelled that. I started to get bored with Fuery.
Queen NekoChan, at the moment, started to sweatdrop. "Ah… you see… I kinda… um… chopped them up into little pieces and threw them out the window." For some strange reason I do not understand, they seemed to be disturbed by this. Havoc came to a realization though, and visibly relaxed.
"No, you didn't. Mustang, Ed, and Envy are some of your favoritest characters in FMA. You would never kill them. Tough maybe you would torture them, since you're a sadist. Which I find kind of weird, considering there's probably a small amount of 12 year old sadists." He was being very calm and quiet, and decided that smoking was bad. So the Havoc we ended up with is the exact opposite of how he was (I hope).
"Havoc, you stupid bastard, WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET SO FUCKING SMART! ! ! YOU FUCKING SHITTY HEADED BITCH! ! ! AND FAVORITEST ISN'T EVEN A WORD, BASTARD! ! !" You know, Al is really starting to get very rude… I'm gonna leave him where I left all the others.
[Censored]
"…You know, this is really starting to get boring... FUERY! TELL ME WHAT I DID TO EVERYBODY OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE THEM TOO!"
"YA THINK I KNOW THAT? ! WELL, TOO BAD! ! ! WHAT'S THE WORST YOU CAN DO TO ME ANYWAY! ! !" Fuery screeched, apparently mimicking a banshee.
Queen NekoChan smirked evilly, amused at his reaction. "Well, I'll show you what I can do, if you really want me to…"
[Censored]
Queen NekoChan then asked Havoc the same question. I'm really getting bored writing this…
"Well, you probably dipped them in honey (not to be mistaken for Hunny) and threw them into a crowd of rabid fangirls. This is the correct answer, because I'm smart like that. Though, sadly, this torture won't work on me because I'm nobodies' favorite character." Havoc let out a deep, sad sigh.
"I'm not sure if Nobody even read FMA… even if he did, I'm not sure if he would even understand what the military is, considering he was raised in a graveyard (2)…" To this day, I still find it sad that Bod's one true love was wiped of her memories of him and that Bod left the graveyard… Raise your hand if you understood that sentence.
"I wasn't actually talking about Nobody, but that is true… does he even know what a telephone is?" Havoc asked.
"I don't think so. He only went to school one time, and not for very long. Bod didn't even have any living friends… Wait, we're getting off topic. I'm just gonna cover you in Hunny – wait, I mean honey – and throw you in a crowd of rabid fangirls. Believe it or not, but you actually have some."
"Oh, really? Ya-! ! !" His celebration was cut short, because I-
[Censored]
"Huh? Where is everybody? Oh… guess they're all still trying to run away from those monster things. I'm pretty sure Ed's clothes got ripped off a while ago. Same with Mustang and Envy… Eh, who cares. I'm gonna go and have some PB&J."
In the end, Pitt was completely forgotten, and was forever stuck wherever he ended up.
THE END.
(1) Ever played The Secret to Monkey Island? No? Well, this is a part from its sequel, Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge. It's the funniest game(s) in history, albeit a pretty old one. To all the gamers or puzzle addicts out there, I highly recommend it.
(2) Nobody is the main character from this awesome book called "The Graveyard Book". It's about a kid who was raised in a graveyard. I highly recommend this one to any and all adventure loving people everywhere. Though you probably already like a bunch of adventurey stuff, considering you read FMA. If you've never read FMA before, then I question why the hell you're reading this in the first place.
A/N: I'm bored with this crack fic and isn't very good in the first place, so I'll leave it only at two chapters. If you actually liked this, then thanks for liking it . If not, then why the hell are you reading the second chapter in the first place?