A/N: This is the first ST story I've posted, and would be interested in what everyone thinks. It just kind of popped into my head and wouldn't get out, stupid plot gnomes! As with everything else I've written, I can't promise to update on a schedule, but I've never abandoned a story either, so I will update as the plot gnomes allow. I really kind of wish they'd pick one story and let me get on with it, but I think they're a little ADD.

Disclaimer: I can't believe I actually need to state this, but if I owned anything we can all recognize, would I really be posting this stuff? I think not. I'd be off on vacation somewhere I couldn't be found by real life

Awareness came slowly for Spock. The first thing he noticed was that he was in his room, lying in bed. The second thing was the cooler body beside him, still sleeping. A low moan of pain filled the room, and he laid a hand on his mate's bare back, attempting to soothe. The other man tried to jerk away, and Spock quickly pulled him into his arms, before he could fall onto the floor and injure himself further. The slight hint of blood on the air told Spock that his mate would need Sickbay when he woke.

The human began to struggle in earnest, and Spock opened the newly created link in their minds. Fear, desperation to escape, betrayal at this ultimate violation of both body and mind immediately assaulted him, and he spoke softly into his mate's ear.

"It is over, Leonard. You must cease before you hurt yourself."

The struggling continued. Spock tightened his hold, which only caused Leonard to fight him more. He didn't understand why his mate was trying to escape him. Why the doctor would see their joining as a violation. They were mated, their minds one. Spock had no clear memory of recent days, which he found disconcerting, but surely if they were mated, Leonard had acknowledged, and accepted, their bonding.

The scent of blood was sharper, and Spock looked down to see that he'd drawn blood on Leonard's arms, trying to still his struggling mate. This was unacceptable. He'd harmed Leonard enough claiming him; he would not cause further injuries.

"Leonard, you must stop this."

He laid his hands on the meld points on Leonard's face, and projected as many calming thoughts as he was capable of producing. He had to soothe his mate before he could release him. In this current state, Leonard might do something foolish.

The fear was still present, which Spock found unsettling. His mate should not be afraid of him. The intense feeling of betrayal stung deeply. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. There was no feeling of peace, none of the belonging that comes with a completed bond. Even a human should have felt it to some degree. Spock had difficulty sifting through Leonard's unconscious mind. Thoughts, feelings and dreams were all beginning to blur together. The only constants were the fear and betrayal.

"Leonard, you must calm yourself. It is over now. You need Sickbay, and struggling will only worsen your injuries."

He tried speaking directly to Leonard's mind, but that only seemed to make things worse. His mate was shying away from him mentally, attempting to hide himself. Spock searched his own mind, but in the minutes since he'd regained consciousness, the memories did not return. Something was not right. He felt—off. As though he was not in complete control of his body. There was no reason why this should be. Perhaps he was in need of Sickbay himself.

He noticed that the doctor did calm slightly when the meld was broken, and Spock began to think that, given his mate's feelings, the physical and mental contact between them might be the cause of his struggles. If that was so, all of Spock's instinctive efforts to soothe the human were, in fact, increasing the problem.

Armed with this new hypothesis, Spock cautiously broke all contact with Leonard and he was—concerned? Yes, concerned was the correct word for this sensation—concerned to be proven correct when the human stopped struggling. There was no question now that something had happened, something that had damaged the relationship they should have as bonded mates.

Leonard moaned again softly, and Spock leaned over him, uncertain as to how to proceed. His instinct was to comfort, but that only caused more pain. Logically, he should take the doctor down to Sickbay so he could be treated, but Spock knew with complete certainty that if he did, they would take his mate from him, and likely throw him in the brig. Leonard could not be counted on to think rationally at this time, and as soon as he said the word "rape", Spock would have no chance to explain, or to convince anyone otherwise. No one on the ship, except perhaps Dr M'Benga, would know about, or understand, Pon Farr. Vulcans guarded their weaknesses carefully.

Spock left off that train of thought, turning his attention back to his mate, taking inventory of his injuries. He was relieved to see that there did not appear to be any broken bones, although the doctor's hips and ribcage were covered in deep bruises from being held down. There were no obvious lacerations, apart from the ones he'd just caused trying to hold Leonard, so the blood indicated injury to the anus. Spock must have been very rough claiming his mate. As long as there were no internal injuries, the doctor had made it through the mating frenzy relatively unscathed. Spock knew his own mother had, on occasion, suffered greater injuries.

Thinking of his mother, Spock remembered that his father had often arranged a hot bath for her after his Pon Farr, an unheard of luxury on a planet where water was so scarce. And if he remembered correctly, which of course he did, both his mother and Nyota used heating pads to ease the discomfort of their monthly cycles. Heat, Nyota had once told him, helped with minor injuries. There was no bath tub to be found on the ship, but it had been over two months since Spock had used his shower, preferring the sonic refresher. His accumulated water ration should be more than sufficient to provide a hot shower.

Very carefully, he climbed over Leonard, first making sure that the door to his quarters was locked, so that Leonard couldn't leave if he woke while Spock was away from him. Then he stepped into the bathroom he shared with the captain, and started a shower. As he waited for the water to adjust to a temperature that would be safe for a human, he locked the captain's door and leaned against the sink, trying to collect himself. He needed to meditate, but Leonard would soon wake, and he didn't dare expose himself to an attack from the other man. Spock might be three times stronger than his mate, but Leonard was a doctor. He knew how to kill, even if he dedicated himself to healing.

The human was struggling. He didn't understand that this HAD to be. Their minds were perfectly compatible, even more so than Captain Kirk's. It would be almost effortless to establish the necessary bond. The human had to be subdued, to be brought back to his quarters so that they wouldn't be disturbed. He wouldn't come willingly.

Spock's eyes shot open. That could not be right. Leonard had refused him? Spock had to incapacitate him to bring him back here? His inability to remember events was beginning to alarm him. He needed to recover his memories.

Hearing movement, he exited the bathroom and returned to his room. Leonard was awake, and he was trying to leave him. Spock had to restrain himself from grabbing the human and dragging him back to their bed. He would make every effort to calm the man, not frighten him further.


That man froze when Spock called his name. Spock saw him stiffen before turning around. He refused to make eye contact, which Spock expected, but still found disheartening.

"Stay the hell away from me."

"I will not harm you, Ashayam. You must come with me."

"No! Let me out of here!"

"That will not happen, Leonard. Now come with me, you need assistance."

Leonard's eyes were wide and panicking, looking for any escape route. Spock knew he was right to lock the bathroom as well. He did not doubt that once he got Leonard in, the human would attempt to escape.

"I have a hot shower for you. It should help."

He took in the sight of his mate, arms still bleeding, standing as far away from him as he could. Leonard was trembling, though whether from shock or fear, Spock did not know. Spock approached Leonard cautiously, eyes narrowing as the man did his best to hide his body. How dare his mate try to hide from him? Spock bit back a growl. He would not let his mate get away with this?

No. He stopped himself. This was not right. He must get himself under control. If his vision in the bathroom was any indication of actual events, Leonard had every reason to fear him, and try to hide.

"I will not harm you, Leonard," he said quietly, carefully reaching out and taking McCoy's arm.

"No more. Please no more," the man whispered, barely audible. Spock heard it, though, and made certain that his grip was loose as he guided his mate into the shower.

Leonard stood under the hot water, and Spock could see the muscles in his back visibly relax. Spock couldn't resist stepping into the water behind him; Leonard McCoy was a beautiful man, even in his current condition. He felt the doctor tense up as soon as he laid a hand on the smooth back, needing the contact.

"No more."

When Leonard tried to exit the shower, Spock kept him in place, and he could feel the muscles in the man coiling, ready to fight again. Spock did not speak, he simply grabbed the washcloth and soap, and began the task of gently cleaning his mate.

"What are you doing?"

"Peace, Leonard. I promised I would not harm you."

"If you don't want to hurt me, then let me out of here and stay the fuck away from me!"

Leonard swore the damned Vulcan almost sighed. And he was certain the hand running the washcloth so carefully over his body faltered, before Spock continued as if he'd never spoken.

"I have been told that heat is soothing to injuries. Does it help?"

He sounded genuinely concerned, which threw Leonard off guard. Where was the damn concern ewhen Spock was trying to force him against a biobed in Sickbay, or when he knocked him unconscious to bring him back here, like a caveman carrying off his prize?

"Now you care?"

This time the hand holding the washcloth stilled completely, and Leonard flinched when Spock's other hand came to rest, feather light, on his bruised hip. The touch is too intimate, too familiar, and it shatters the fragile hold he had on his control.

Spock was unprepared when his mate began to shake uncontrollably, and sob, softly but unrestrained. He expected an emotional backlash, now that he at least suspected that Leonard had not consented to bonding with him, but Leonard had shown no signs of it hitting so quickly.


"How could you do this, you bastard! Could you really hate me so much?"

"I do not—"


Spock wrapped his arms around Leonard in an attempt to touch as much bare skin as possible. His mate had drawn all the wrong conclusions from what had happened, and Spock was desperate to transmit as much as he could through their bond. He had to make Leonard understand that he never meant to cause harm. That though he didn't remember the events leading up to their bonding, he would care for and treasure his mate. His animosity towards the doctor had faded within the first year of their mission. He certainly did not hate him.

Jim Kirk made his way onto the bridge, happy to be back on his ship. Shore leave had been exciting, no doubt about it. Tesla III, originally colonized by a group of Federation scientists, intent on researching the plantes-stranger-qualities had become a well known retreat for those exploring this section of the Beta Quadrant. Their first opportunity for shore leave in six months had come at a most opportune moment, and everyone had enjoyed two weeks off.

"Sulu, you're back early."

He was surprised to see Sulu already on the bridge. They didn't actually leave orbit for another twelve hours, and everyone who was not already back on duty was enjoying their final night of shore leave. It was why he'd come back to the ship already. He wanted t some time to himself on the bridge before his shift started in the morning.

Even more surprising was the fact that Sulu was now blushing. Aha. There was an interesting story in this; Jim just had to find out what it was.

"What brings you back so soon? Why aren't you spending your last night of irresponsibility corrupting Chekov?"

The pilot and the young navigator spent so much of their free time together that some of the crew had started a betting pool on when they would start dating. Jim had his own modest wager, and in return he pretended not to know about it, since gambling was still against regulations on board Enterprise. He was guaranteed to win, since he bet that one of the pair would start dating a woman. He knew that the pair was nothing more than close friends. Sulu was engaged to a young woman back in San Francisco, and Chekov, well, for all that the kid was a genius, sometimes Jim wondered if the young Russian even knew that girls weren't boys. The others were so certain that the two men were meant for each other, such the perfect couple, that Jim was guaranteed to win a small fortune as soon as Sulu announced his engagement.

"Pavel is still down on the planet's surface. I left him with Mr. Scott. I-uh-I was trying to avoid a certain officer, one of the planet's scientists who-uh-"

"I think I get the idea," Jim decided to take pity on his friend. He often had to deal with unwanted attentions, of both the male and female variety. It really wasn't as much fun as most people assumed it would be. It usually meant spending a lot of time alone.

"What brings you back early, Him?"

Unlike the other bridge crew, Sulu had taken easily to calling his captain by his first name when they were off duty. Nearly dying together tended to break down walls of formality.

"Bones was supposed to meet me tonight for some drinking."

"Then shouldn't you be down on the surface with the doctor?"

"Kind of standing arrangements, drinks in his quarters at the end of shore leave. Plus he came back this morning to finish some medical inventory or something."

The chirping of Jim's comm unit interrupted him, and he smiled apologetically to Sulu.

"Kirk here."

"Captain, it's Geoff M'Benga. I need to speak to Dr. McCoy immediately, but he's not answering his comm. Is he with you?"

"He should be in Sickbay. He returned to the Enterprise this morning."

"I'm in Sickbay. He's not here."

"Computer, locate Dr. McCoy."

"Leonard McCoy is located on Deck 5, Room 7," the computer's electronic voice answered.

"M'Benga, he's in Spock's quarters."

"Captain, I think you need to get there, now."

"What's going on, M'Benga?"

He didn't like the doctor's worried tone, or the urgency with which he spoke.

"M'Benga, what's wrong with Bones?"

"Hopefully nothing. It's Commander Spock."

Jim didn't ask for any more explanation. He didn't need to. Even without details, knowing that there was something wrong with Spock, and that Bones was with him and only hopefully alright, was enough to get his ass to the turbo lift.

As soon as he reached Deck 5, he was running through the turbo lift doors before they even opened completely. Within seconds, he was pounding on Spock's door.

"Bones! Spock, open this door!"

There was no response. Had they left?

"Computer, location of Dr. McCoy and Commander Spock."

"Leonard McCoy and Spock are on Deck 5, Room 7."

They were still in there, they just weren't opening up. Jim didn't hesitate to punch in his override authorization code, and burst inside as soon as the door slid open. He'd half expected to see his friends unconscious on the floor, or maybe Spock injured and Bones just too focused on his patient to know Jim was knocking. Anything to explain why he was ignored. He wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted him.

The room resembled a war zone more than someone's private quarters. The few personal possessions Spock had were on the floor amidst knocked over shelves. Some of them were even broken. Spock's lute lay in pieces. The chairs were on their sides, and Jim didn't want to know what became of Spock's chess set. The board was completely shattered. What the hell happened here?

"Spock? Bones?"

Even more disturbing: Jim found Bones' Ole Miss t-shirt was laying on the floor in shreds. That was his favorite t-shirt, he'd held onto it for years. It was the shirt he lived in on weekends in the dorms at the Academy. He would never do something like this to that shirt.


The sheets on the floor drew his attention to the bed, which had obviously seen a lot of activity. The closer Jim got, the more it smelled like a brothel. When he reached the bed, he could see traces of red blood on the sheet.


He didn't want to believe what his eyes were telling him. This couldn't be real. His first officer just couldn't do—he could"

Even more disturbing: Jim found Bones' Ole Miss t-shirt was laying on the floor in shreds. That was his favorite t-shirt, he'd held onto it for years. It was the shirt he lived in on weekends in the dorms at the Academy. He would never do something like this to that shirt.


The sheets on the floor drew his attention to the bed, which had obviously seen a lot of activity. The closer Jim got, the more it smelled like a brothel. When he reached the bed, he could see traces of red blood on the sheet.


He didn't want to believe what his eyes were telling him. This couldn't be real. His first officer just couldn't do—he couldn't—

Jim darted into the bathroom he shared with Spock. It was the only place they could be. He was horrified to see the two of them in the shower, Spock holding Bones tightly as Bones sobbed, weakly trying to get away. Neither man noticed his arrival. Spock was speaking softly into Bones' ear, too softly for Jim to understand the Vulcan words. Bones was shaking his head, not wanting to hear, or not agreeing with, whatever he was being told.

"Spock, let him go, now!"

To Jim's surprise, Spock whirled at the intrusion, pushing Bones behind him, placing himself between Jim and the doctor. The look on his face was positively feral, as if all reason and logic had fled his mind. He actually snarled threateningly at Jim. Jim pulled out his comm. unit, never taking his eyes off the pair standing under the water.

"M'Benga, I need up here now!"

"I'm on my way."

"Bring a security team with you."

"Understood, Captain."

Jim flipped his comm unit shut as he took a mental inventory of his friend. It was difficult to do as Spock blocked each of Bones' attempts to get around him.

"Spock, let him go."

He had to strain to understand the Vulcan, as he spoke rapidly in his native tongue. Jim's Vulcan was excellent, but Spock was making no sense. He wasn't even speaking in complete sentences. Jim couldn't believe his ears as Spock called Bones his mate. That wasn't possible. He knew Spick, and he knew Bones. While the two might have stopped fighting at every single opportunity, Bones would never agree to bond with Spock. Bones, bless his heart, was as straight as they came. He wasn't interested in men, at all. If he had been, Jim would have been after him back at the Academy.

Jim tried to move so that he could see Bones around Spock, but every time he did, Spock moved with him. He wasn't allowing Jim a straight line of sight to Bones. The warning to stay away was accompanied by a low growl, and it hit Jim that Spock was trying to shield Bones. To protect him.

"I'm not gonna hurt him Spock. We need to get him to Sickbay. He's hurt.

"Leave us alone!"

It was the first full sentence Jim had heard since stepping into this nightmare. Maybe whatever was wrong with Spock was clearing up, at least enough for him to regain some control.

"I can't do that Spock. Bones needs a medic."

Any rational thought, if Spock had one, flew when Jim said the word "Bones".

"Stay away from us! He's mine! Not yours!"

Jim tried again to see Bones, but Spock blocked his path. Jim was never so thankful as when he heard people in Spock's room, asking each other what the hell happened.

"In here!"

Geoff M'Benga entered the bathroom first, looking up at Spock apprehensively. His eyes widened when he saw his boss behind the Vulcan, all effort to escape blocked.

"Doctor McCoy?"

Spock turned his attention to M'Benga, and growled the same warnings to him that he'd given Jim.

"Spock, we just want to get Doctor McCoy the help he needs. That's all. You can come with us down to Sickbay."

M'Benga hoped his reasoning tone got through to the Vulcan. McCoy looked close to going into shock, and he needed to be checked for internal injuries immediately. After a tense two minute standoff, some of the feral light left Spock's eyes. He blinked, slowly, as if only just becoming aware of his surroundings.

"Captain? Dr. M'Benga? Why are you here?"

There was genuine confusion in his tone, which Jim and M'Benga both took to be a bad sign.

"Why don't you let Bones go, Spock, and we'll figure this thing out, okay?"

"Leonard is injured?"

"We need to get him to Sickbay. You can stay with him," Jim hated the look of shock and betrayal on Bones' face when he said that, "but you need to let Dr. M'Benga treat him, now."

Spock looked from Jim to M'Benga, wondering if this was some sort of trick. Leonard did need medical attention, but Spock didn't trust the Captain's interest in his mate. They always spent far too much time together.

"Something is wrong with me, Doctor. I do not know what it is."

Even now, he could not control his reactions. Logically, he should have let Leonard go when he first asked. He should not threaten the captain, the captain who was also his friend. One moment, he is logical and coherent, the next he is not. This was not a normal end to Pon Farr.

"We'll figure out what's happened, Spock. Let me help you both."

Yes. Yes, the doctor could help them. M'Benga was a good man, for a human, and he understood. M'Benga would not try to take Leonard from him. This time, when Leonard tried to step around, Spock let him. Spock watched the captain wrap his mate in a towel, and fought the urge to grab Leonard back. Spock turned off the water, and M'Benga handed him a towel as he stepped out, looking at him sadly.

"Thank you, doctor."

M'Benga followed Jim and McCoy back through Spock's room, with Spock close behind him. He watched as Leonard stared at an object on the floor, and Spock realized it was the t-shirt Leonard was so fond of. It was utterly destroyed. He picked up on his mate's hitched breathing, and the fine tremor that once again settled through his frame. His mate was distressed.

Spock tried to step around M'Benga, to reach his mate, when he was grabbed by two men in red shirts, whose presence he had never noticed. They thought he needed to be restrained? No, he needed to get to his mate. He pulled against his captors, trying to reach Leonard.


"Take him to the brig, gentlemen."

"No! You said I could accompany Leonard! Captain!"

Spock pulled again, and when that didn't work, he lashed out, flinging one of the guards against the wall. He would NOT let them take his mate away from him!

"Leonard! Ashayam!"

He was so focused on the captain, who was stealing his mate, that he failed to see the red shirt who still had his arm pull out a phaser. He fell to the ground instantly, stunned. Within seconds, he was shackled, and carried between the two guards out of the room.

"Alright, M'Benga. You're going to take care of Bones, and then you're going to tell me what the HELL is going on here."