4Disclaimer: I do not own SPN
Prompt: written for 50ficlets Confessions; and lover100: 018 Honesty
When their dads tell them they're going to Bobby's or be forced to hunt side-by-side with them for the foreseeable future Claire and Ben don't hesitate. They take the next Angel-bus straight to Montana. They need it anyway. They've been fighting non-stop for almost a year and it didn't matter that they were young blood. They'd burn out just like any hunter that didn't take a moment to smell the roses. And with the demon nothing was the same anymore.
Claire could feel it in the way Ben acted with her. He didn't touch her, didn't want to fight with her, sometimes it felt like he didn't even want to look at her. And she knew she deserved it after what the demon had said and Claire hadn't denied a word of it. She hadn't even tried to make the demon out to be a lair, and it would have been so easy. At least she was spared the pain of him refusing to room with her. Bobby might have been the coolest "Grandpa" around but he wasn't tolerating them sharing a bed under his roof. Not his "grandbabies", and Bobby could deny it all he wanted. Claire had heard him say it.
So it boiled down to them dancing around each other and she was tired of it. She mentally hiked up her big girl pants, because Claire Novak could stare ghosts in the eye, wrestle with werewolves and was fierce against vampires; all of which she did with Ben watching her back. Damn it she wasn't going to let this be the fear that gripped her tight and never let go.
She did the only thing she could think was fair; she fought dirty.
Cornering Ben wasn't the hard part, getting him to fight his way out was. After the third failed attempt to get around her Ben gave up with a glare. "Please move, Claire?"
"I"m trying to figure out why you said we could work this out, now you're ignoring me." Claire wanted to push into Ben's space but stopped herself.
His mouth was drawn in a tight line, dark circles under his eyes. "We should have died." Ben reached out and put his hands on Claire's shoulders, his eyes went from her's to her stomach and she tried to ignore the phantom pains she thought she felt there.
"We didn't."
"Before we met you were on a suicidal road trip to Hell." Ben shut his eyes and Claire wanted, needed to punch a wall. Anything. Ben should not have looked so world-weary. "And I don't know if you've stopped or not."
Claire didn't know the answer either; instinctively she wanted to deny it. She wanted to claw her way out of the hole she had dug, fill it with anything and pretend it was dirt. "I will, I can. You know how hard it is to let things go." With courage she didn't feel she barreled on, "And what the demon said– I. It was true. I'd been following you for weeks, but it changed. Soon as I got to know you."
He dropped to the ground, "Damn it, Claire." Ben looked up at her, face broke open with emotions. "I've been having some stupid thoughts." Claire's stomach knotted itself. "Y'know I want to grow old with you?"
"We're eighteen–"
"Yes, and we almost died a few days ago. We're eighteen and we almost died. You–" Ben choked on his words and it never occurred to Claire to ask what happen after she blacked out. "That demon cut your stomach open. If Dad and Castiel hadn't shown up when they did; if Cas hadn't healed you so quickly." Ben was shaking and Claire fell next to him.
"I'm here now." She reached out and touched his knee. "I wasn't saying I didn't want to grow old with you too, y'know."
Ben pulled her forward and she willingly fell into his waiting arms. "People like us don't find this, Claire. Look how long it took Dean to find Castiel." Claire nodded against Ben's chest, even if she didn't really agree. Someone like Dean and an angel like Castiel didn't just fall into each others fate like that. That was the cunning planning of a tenacious son of a bitch. "We gotta hold on."
"I'm not letting go, and I sure as fuck am not letting a demon get in between us." She looked up at him, "Right?" the question was there.
Ben nodded. "I'm here. You're stuck with me." Claire wanted to crack "until death do us part" but she didn't think he'd appreciate the joke, and she didn't want to give Ben any ideas. She could admit her undying love for the guy and that growing old (as old as they could) with him was the plan. But wedding bells, not so much. "Think we can convince them we're ready to be back on field?"
Claire snorted, "I'll leave that one up to you." Ben rolled his eyes. They knew who the favorite was here, and it wasn't him.