AN: Hello, again! I know I said Super Soaker would be my first last and only story to those kind enough to take the time to read/review but I was on Tumblr a few days ago (I am so happy to have found the online CM fandom women. You ALL rock…those of you I've connected with do, anyway.) and I reblogged a photo with some silly word vomit commentary of mine about what I thought Derek Morgan's secret was (that he's wining and dining The Divine Miss P every night after work) and it turned into this. My imagination would not stop and I wanted to share. I am not a writer (I haven't written anything seriously since I was 13) but I have read a lot of stories that I adore and wanted to be able to share something of mine with you since you all give so much of yourselves.

I don't own Criminal Minds, Superman or anything else I may have mentioned or alluded to in this wackiness.


Derek calmly but quickly made his way across the hall to Penelope's office and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"Baby Girl, you ready to go?"

Her screens went dark one by one as she whirled around in her office chair.

"Certainly, Handsome! Just let me gather my things and then we can fly this coop!"

"What do you need me to do?" Derek grabbed up her coat from the desk she rarely used and opened it up so she could slip her arms inside. "I want to get out of here before anyone sees us and stops us to talk about Star Wars, Star Trek, the origins of Mardi Gras or any other random holiday he can think of, graphic novels, and science magic or," Derek's voice dropped and he whispered in her ear, "YOU decide you want to stand me up for the other man in your life."

"You leave Spencer Reid and his eccentricities alone. Hotch deserves a night off now and again to blow off steam from these horrible cases you jet off to and honey, Jack may be my little smoochie man but you will always and forever be my darling Man of Steel." She turned and kissed his lips quickly before he could pull her closer.

"Could you carry my laptop and these files to the car for me? I'll grab my bag."

"Anything for you, Baby Girl."


They were seated next to each other at a table for two in a casual Italian restaurant that had a warm atmosphere. It was the perfect place to eat, talk and relax and they could easily people watch between bouts of conversation through the large window next to their table.

"This is absolutely perfect." Penelope said between bites of the decadent tiramisu she was sharing with her date.

"So are you, Miss Thing." Derek leaned over and sucked her bottom lip between his, kissing her deeply. She could taste the cappuccino and chocolate on his tongue and just when Penelope regained the ability to think straight, she clutched his shoulder to pull him even closer.

She and Derek didn't notice their colleague enter the restaurant, didn't witness the busty hostess flirt with him, and they never heard him approach their table.

"Uhm. Hi, Garcia. Morgan. This is...new, I guess. And by 'new', I mean 'uncomfortably awkward for me'."

Derek squeezed Penelope's hands as she pulled apart from him, her eyes wide. She knew that voice. That was the voice of a man who had rattled off more facts to her than she had ever wanted to know. That was the voice of her Gray Matter Compadre, her "brother from another motherboard".

Penelope sighed. She and Derek had been so careful over the past month. No one had any reason to suspect them of anything, really. They had never stopped being themselves with each other. They were still the poster children for sexual harassment 101 What Not To Do's at work and over the phone. But, lately they were being more open and honest with their feelings to each other and gave in to a few shameless public displays of affection every now and then. The night after the team came to see her play; he met her backstage and took her to dinner. They talked, laughed loudly and shared dessert, which was nothing out of the usual but when he followed her home and walked her to her door he pulled her to him and pressed his lips against hers. Since then, he had taken her out as much as he could when he was home between cases and when he wasn't in town; she made certain to give good phone. They stopped for coffee and drove to work together in the morning and he would leave her with a kiss on her forehead when he walked her to her office door. They were "Pen and Derek 2.0" (she giggled to herself when she came up with that one slow day in her office) and it was just them in their own little world, something that they had all to themselves that the team didn't need to know about right now. She thought about excusing herself to the ladies room to hide but opted to just bury her face in the side of Derek's neck, inhaling his calm warm scent, before she looked up into the confused face of Doctor Spencer Reid.

"Pretty Boy! Man, listen. We would really like to keep this to ourselves for a while if you don't mind. You understand how it is with the team. Everyone knows everything about everybody. We just need this between us for a while." Derek casually explained but never let Penelope's hands go.

Reid was shocked but also put slightly at ease by Derek's ability to keep his cool, even if he had just been busted. Penelope, however, was sporting rosy cheeks and was avoiding looking Spencer in the eyes. She was his friend, sometimes she was his confidante and she made one hell of a pineapple upside down cake. He didn't want to lose her friendship or her trust.

Cold hard facts always put him at ease so he pulled a chair away from a nearby table, sat down and began to tell her the success rate of couples that started out as friends, divorce rates in the DC area and the mating rituals of chimpanzees and how they were alike and slightly varied those of humans. When he was finished talking, he wondered why Garcia and Morgan were looking at him so strangely; their heads were tilted and their mouths were gaping open slightly. Derek forced himself to blink and sighed.

Penelope gathered as much strength and confidence as she could find within herself at the moment. She wanted to protect this, protect Derek and this amazing happiness that was all hers if only for a short while. They would tell the others eventually, they were family! She didn't want to just yet. "Oh, my sweet pompadoured professor, you had better keep your pouty lips closed about what you just witnessed my Man of Steel's pouty lips doing to mine," She leaned in closer to his face as she continued on with a smile, "or else I will unlock that top left drawer of your desk where you keep your snazzy office supplies in order by size and color and I will jack…your…system…up. Understood?"

Spencer gulped as Penelope leaned over completely and left a dark purple kiss print in the middle of his forehead. Spencer Reid was a very smart man and he knew that if he so much as sneezed and any information on what he had witnessed today came out, Penelope Garcia would mess him up and she had just sealed it with a kiss.

"I will be the soul of discretion," he laughed uncomfortably while finding an imaginary thread to pull at on his gray cardigan, "Carry on. See you in the morning."

He stood to leave then added, "I'm happy for you. I'm glad that you two are finally doing...uh, this."

Silent smiles were passed by all three friends and the two watched Spencer leave, his steady gait carrying him gracefully through the restaurant doors.

Derek was the first to speak, "Baby Girl! That was kind of harsh. You know how Reid is about his office supplies. It was also kind of hot. Where did you learn how to be such a badass, girl?"

"I learned from the best, baby." She replied, flirtatiously. "Besides, Spencer Reid knows that if he ever wants to taste my pineapple-y treats again, he had better keep the memory of the fireworks display he just witnessed locked away in that exquisite brain of his."

"Oh, no. If anyone is gonna be tasting your pineapple-y treats from now on, it's going to be me." Derek touched his forehead to hers and kissed the tip of her nose.