Chapter 2

Five o'clock in the morning came fast. As Rambo lit the bamboo to start the fire, Batman examining the curious outcropping of bamboo shoots that they were hiding in. The sentries had been so confused by the presence of bamboo in a climate such as Canada's. They then went all the way back to base to report this finding, and this would take seven weeks, round trip. Rambo and Batman were safe, for the moment.

"It's quite fortunate these bamboo shoots were here. We're safe for the moment." Batman stated.

Rambo kept watch over the fire, silently.

"It's going to be difficult to get that POW out. I think I have a plan, though."

"Yeah, what's that?" Rambo asked, slightly curious.

"I have, on my utility belt, a most wonderful invention. It's called the Temporal Relocation Bat-machine!"

"… the what?"

"The Temporal Relocation Bat-machine! We'll use it to rescue the prisoner!"

"Alright, whatever, let's go!"

"First, I have to adjust the reception, and square the hypotenuse …" Batman trailed off as he pulled a small radio-like device from his belt. Next, he unfolded and laid out what resembled a hula hoop on the ground. Light shined from the inside.

"That's pretty cool, yo."

"Now, we have to stand in the center and say the voice key activation code. Repeat after me: Na na na na na na na na na! Batman!"

"What? No!"

"Great Scott man, it's imperative! Get over yourself!"

"Alright … na na na na na na na na na! Batman..."

The machine lit up, and a plaid glow enveloped the duo. Soon, only a small imprint of Bat-boots and a smoldering fire remained. Fortunately, Batman had set a bucket of water up over the fire, and it was thoroughly extinguished.

"Yo, this really bugs me!"

Hula hoops scattered the snowy landscape. The small log cabin, with a stately chimney, and a circle of flamingos still stood in the distance, unwavering.

"We didn't go anywhere!"

"We weren't supposed to! That's not the question here. The question should be, when are we!"

"But I didn't ask a question…"

"We have traveled … back in time! Approximately four years, if I'm not mistaken."

"So it's 1808. Big deal. What happened now that's so important?"

"It was the year that Napoleon said 'The key to victory, success and fortune in the European battle fronts is cheeseburger'. But, more importantly, it is the year of, and day before, the old lady moved into the cabin! Now, all we have to do is go in, hide, and go back! To the future!"

The pair dashed up to the house, weaving through the flamingos. Running inside, they found that the house was comprised of two floors, an attic, and a basement. A cursory search showed that the house was formerly owned by Italians.

"Rambo, I have deduced that the house was owned by an Italian who was fond of pizza and an occasional bottle of licorice flavored mouthwash."

"How's that?"

"There's fifteen pizzas and a dozen bottles in the kitchen. But we have no time to dawdle with logical inferences! To a hiding spot!"

Finding a spot was difficult. The bedroom was cluttered with Elvis Presley albums and snow globes that Rocky and Bullwinkle characters in them. The basement was a pool, and the attic was full of frozen dinners. Finally, they came to the garage.

"Let's check here!"

"Yo, I don't know. I hear something."

"No fear, I have a Universal Repellant Bat-spray."

Carefully, they crept into the garage. A sled sat in the middle. Suddenly, a dog appeared!



A struggle broke out. Batman dropped the can of Bat-spray! Hurriedly, Rambo tried to grab for it; but it was too late. They had no choice but to give up and wait. Finally, as the dog finished licking their faces, Batman picked it up.

"Now, what's a cute widdle doggy like you doing here? Awwww!"

"Yo, Batman!"

"Puppy wuppy! … Ahem, good dog. You are truly man's best friend.

Setting down the miniature poodle, Batman checked the door to insure its security. Rambo scoped out the rest of the garage.

"It's safe. Let's set up the time machine. It's going to be different, because we're indoors, in an area smaller than a warehouse, but not yellow."

Batman pulled out what seemed to be a Super Convenient Folding Bat-chair.

"It's my Super Convenient Folding Bat-chair"

Plugging in the time machine, Batman sat down.

"Hey, what about me?"

"Oh, sorry."

He pulled out a Hello Kitty chair, which Rambo glared at, but sat in.

"Just one thing before we go, yo. What was the deal with the hula hoops?"

"Well, it's an unintended side effect, that the time machine duplicates a random object involved in the process. For instance, the hula hoop, or my Bat-radio, or the left cufflink button of my right sleeve, or your AK-47. Ah, finished. Let's go!"

The machine lit up a second time, and the chairs, with their occupants, disappeared. A short Italian man walked in.

"Hey-a! What's going on? I thought I heard something! … Oh well!"