AN: I must admit that I do not own Gir or the Cheeseburger song. You all know who Gir belongs to, and the Cheeseburger Song, whether that is it's actual name is or not, belongs to Big Idea Studios. I found it very appropriate for the occasion.

Tonight is one of those where master goes away for a while to beat da big-head-boy. I get to be all by myself and do whateeever I want. What do I wanna do? I don't wanna play with piggy cause he's still mad about "the incident," and I don't want to make waffles cause nobody's 'round to eat 'em. Plus, I'm not aloud to break stuff. I don't know why, but when I asked, master was all like "cause I said so." So I guess that's why I'm not supposed to.

When I get bored, I watch TV, and I get happy again. Just watch... I turn on the TV... see? Happy! Ooh I like this show. I think it's called... Pop Psychology for Psychos? It's when this lady talks to people to make them feeeeeel better.

Dr. Quinzel sits with her patient, Ann, to talk with her about her strange obsessions.

Dr. Quinzel: So you have these strange obsessions that you rant about even though no one cares about them, right?

Ann: What are you saying? That no one cares about what I have to say?

Dr. Quinzel: Yes.

Ann: Pfft, figures. Some psychologist you are.

Dr. Quinzel: Do you enjoy the things that you rant about?

Ann: I don't rant! And yes. Yes I do.

Dr. Quinzel:Then you must feel strongly about them! Perhaps you're in love with them?

Ann: Ew! You're sicker then the guy on last night's show!

Dr. Quinzel: Perhaps you feel that by ranting, you are expressing your love for the things you obsess about?

Ann: Did you even hear what I just said?

Dr. Quinzel: Perhaps you need another way to express your love?

Ann: What the heck is wrong with you? Your so oblivious! Crazier then I am! Who taught you psychology? Who gave you a show? WHO IS YOUR MOTHER? I need to yell at them for producing such a failure!

Dr. Quinzel: In cases like yours, song and dance are often better solutions then bugging people about stuff they don't care about.

Ann: Aren't psychologists supposed to make me feel like they're listening to me?

Dr. Quinzel: Fear not, for I have found the solution to your horrible insanity so that people will finally understand your feelings! You need to sing and dance more!


Dr. Quinzel: Ah, yelling. Yelling is a sign of anger or stress. Are you angry or stressed right now?

Ann: I'm leaving.

I giggled and switch off the TV. OH! I just thought of somethin' fun to do! The doctor lady said to sing and dance, so I will! I will sing and dance to express meh fffffeeeeelings about something I love! Here I go!

I said to her 'I'd like a cheeseburger

and I might like a milkshake as well.'

She said to me 'I can't give you either,'

and I said 'Isn't this Burger Bell?'

She said 'Yes it is, but we're closed now.

But we open tomorrow at ten.' I said

'I am extremely hungry, but I guess I can

wait until theeeeeeen!'

Cuz you're my cheeseburger!

My tasty cheeseburger!

I'll wait for you-oo!

Yeah, I'll wait for you-oo!

Don't be too long,cheeseburger!

My tasty cheeseburger!

I'll wait for you-oo!

Oh, I will wait for yoooooou.

I stayed at the drive-through till sunrise.

I may have dozed off once or twice.

When I spotted a billboard for Denny's-

Waffles and eggs for half price.

How could I resist such an offer?

I really needed something to munch!

Cheeseburger, please do not get angry!

I'll eat and be back here for luuuuuuuuunch!

Cuz you're my cheeseburger!

My precious cheeseburger!

Be back for you-oo!

I'll be back for you-oo!

Won't be so long, cheeseburger!

My scrumptious cheeseburger!

Be back for you-oo!

Oh, I'll be back for yooooooou!

Because I love you cheeseburger with all my heart,

and there ain't nothin' gonna tear us two-oo apart!

And if the world suddenly ran out of cheese,

I would get down on my hands and knees

to see if someone accidentally dropped some cheese in the dirt!

And I would wash it off for you!

Wipe it off for you!



Cuz you're my cheeseburgeeeeeeeeeeeeer!

I fell to the ground all tired like, cause, well, I was. I had just sang meh little metal heart out. I think I need a nap. It's time for you to go, readin'-kid. How long have you been standing there, anyway? That's just plain creepy.