AN. Yeah, I know it's a little late for a Christmas chapter but if you think about it, I wouldn't mind reading a Christmas story anytime of year! Cookies to all who guessed what song I was going to use.

Gasp! I'm glad you came! I'm waiting for Santa! You wanna wait with me? Maybe he'll have something for you too, if you've been good. Here, have a cookie. I made them for Santa, but you can have one.

Do you like it? Master says I've added too much molasses. Oh I hope Santa doesn't mind!

Yeah, ever since last year when my master accidentally turned himself into Santa, he's been on the naughty list. He's so naughty, that Santa doesn't even bother to bring him coal. He just skips over our house altogether! It makes me sad, though, cause it means I must be on the naughty list too.

But not this year! I've been extra careful to be good and do everything that my master tells me to do. I made waffles without soap, I scare-ed the big head boy away, I gave my master his tools when he asked for them, I delivered a bouquet of flowers from my master to Gazzy, and then I delivered a punch in the face from Gazzy to master!

I've been a very good sir unit.

I wonder what Santa will bring me. Maybe it will be a new doggie costume? I hope it's orange. I like green but sometimes I want to be orange. With a big shaggy tail and fur that droops over my eyes so I can't see anything. It would be so much fun to look like that! Hee, hee!

Ahh! Bless you! What a sneeze! Do you need a tissue? I'll go get one for you.

Here you go! Are you sure you should be up and around when you're sneezing like that? … Just a little cold? Ah, I get it. Humans get sick a lot in winter. That's why master is still in his science room- he's afraid to catch an Earth disease, so he's just gonna wait out the whole winter down there. At least it means that we don't have to worry about him coming up and seeing you while you're here.

Oh I hope Santa gets here soon! I hope he likes my cookies! And maybe if I ask nice enough, he'll bring a toy for master too. Master is such a good invader. I think he deserves something nice.

I feel like singing. Do you feel like singing?... No? Well that's too bad. I guess I'll sing by myself, then.

Oh, Santa!

I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come!

And I have cookies! Three yummy cookies!

Just for you for when you come, oh yeah, for you for when you come!

Because it's Christmas!

Gasp! There's a knock at the door! I got it! I got it! I wonder who it is?

Could that be Santa? Could that be him?

Could it be the one who brings presents for a SIR unit like me?

A good SIR unit like me?

When I open the door...

Creak...

... Santa isn't standing there. It's just a really skinny man wearing a Santa hat. He looks kind of shady...

"Hey wait a minute, you're not Santa!" I say " You're just some dude in a Santa hat! Who are you?"

The man grins and starts to sing

I'm a bank robber!

And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes, I've come to rob your bank!

And I've come to take your dimes and steal your nickles.

So stand back and step aside you silly puppy! And let me in!

Uh oh. It's a scary man! He's gonna take all of my master's monies! But... it's Christmas. We're all supposed to be nice on Christmas. I guess I'm gonna have to be the better person.

I'm not a banker...

I have no bank, my robbing friend,

but I got cookies- three yummy cookies

And I don't have nickles,

but please take this, my robbing friend! Eat one of these, my robbing friend!

They are for Santa, but you may have one.

Well that's good. The bank robbers face got soft and happy, and now he is eating my cookie. He doesn't seem to mind the extra molasses. I'm glad that I made a new friend! But I still can't wait to see Santa!

"Hey mister bank robber?" I ask. "We are waiting for Santa. Would you like to wait with us?"

He swallows. "Sure! You all seem nice enough, and you make yummy cookies!" After he says that he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth and smiles. I step aside to let him in out of the cold.

Oh Santa!

I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come!

And I've got cookies- two yummy cookies!

Just for you for when you come, oh yeah, for you for when you come!

Because it's Christmas!

I'm a bank robber!

I came to rob your bank, oh yes! I've come to rob your bank!

But you shared a cookie- a yummy cookie.

Though I'd love to steal your dimes, perhaps another time

Because it's Christmas!

Wow, bank robbing man sure can sing! Why are you looking at us like we tha- Hey! Another knock at the door? Yay! More friends! I'll go get it! Hee hee!

Could that be Santa? Could that be him?

Could it be the one who brings presents for a SIR unit like me?

A good SIR unit like me?

It is Santa! It has to be! Who else would it-

Creak...

Oh woops. Nope, this ain't Santa. He's way too short, and I don't think Santa would ever wear such a scary hat!

"Who are you?" I ask him. He makes a mean face and shows me his yucky teeth.

I'm a viking!

And I've come to take your land, oh yes! I've come to take your land!

And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses!

And I'm gonna... step on your chickens!

And soil your quilts!

Oh no... he wants to hurt my chickens! And I worked really hard on that quilt. It was gonna be master's Christmas present... Maybe I can change his mind by being nice!

I don't have land...

I don't have crops, my viking friend,

But I've got cookies- two yummy cookies!

And I don't have horses,

But please take this, my viking friend! eat one of these, my viking friend!

They are for Santa, but you may have one.

The viking man snatches the cookie off the place and gobbles it up all yucky like. He got crumbs all over master's clean porch! Then he pushes me aside all rough, and I fall on my bottom. He goes inside and closes the door.

Slam!

Owie. Now my bum hurts...

Hey! That viking left me outside and he closed the door! Ahh! Let me in, let me in! It's cold out here!

Creak...

Phew, thanks for opening the door. I was afraid I would be here all night and master would get worried about me. What do you think would happen to a robot if he was left in the cold too long?

Sigh... Well back to waiting for Santa. Wow, I'm cold now. I wish we could start a fire, but then Santa would get cooked and we'd all be on the naughty list for sure. Can I sit on your lap?... Yay! Mmm you're cozy.

Okay, okay, I'm gonna keep singing now.

Oh Santa!

I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you come!

And I've got a cookie- A yummy cookie!

Just for you for when you come, oh yeah, for you for when you come!

Because it's Christmas!

I'm a bank robber!

And I've come to rob your bank,oh yes, I've come to rob your bank!

But you shared a cookie- a yummy cookie.

Though I'd love to steal your dimes, perhaps another time.

Because it's Christ mas!

I'm a viking!

I came to take your land, oh yes, I came to take your land!

But you shared a cookie- a yummy cookie.

Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt.

Because it's Christmas!

Yay! I'm so happy right now! I'm surrounded by friends and a viking, and we're all singing and having fun! We should do this more often, I think. If it's okay with master, we can- Oh! Another knock? Maybe it's Santa this time! Don't worry, I got it.

Could that be Santa? Could that be him?

Could it be the one who brings presents for a SIR unit like me?

A good SIR unit like me?

Maybe it really is-

Creak...

nope. It's not Santa. It's a guy in a fancy business suit.

"Helloooo?" I say.

The man doesn't say hello. He starts singing.

I'm from the IRS!

Ooh, master told me about them.

And I've come to tax your-

I slam the door.

Back to singing!

Oh Santa!

I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come-

Uh... something is moving in the fireplace. It's big and red and- and it's Santa! Oh my gosh it's Santa! It's Santa! OH MY GOSH!

It's finally Santa! It's finally him!

It's the one who brings presents for a SIR unit like me!

A good SIR unit like me!

I'm so excited I could explode! I'll try not to though.

Santa smiles at us and starts to sing.

I'm Santa!

And I've come to bring you gifts, oh yes, I've come to bring you gifts!

And I've come to stuff your stockings oh ho ho ho!

And I've come to... jiggle my belly. And wiggle my... nose.

Santa looks around the room smiling, but when he sees he bank robber and the viking, his smile goes away.

"Hey wait a minute!" He says. "Isn't that my belt?"

The viking looks down at himself, and I can see that he's wearing a belt. Is it Santa's?

"And what are you doing with my hat?"

Oh yeah. The bank robber is wearing Santa's hat, isn't he? Now Santa looks mad. He's making angry eyebrows at the bank robber and the viking. "So you're the ones!" He says.

"Wait a minute, I can explain!" says the bank robber.

"We've changed!" says the viking.

"Nobody messes with Santa! You know that, don't you! You've been very naughty! And I've got a list!

The viking and the bank robber run out the door, and Santa chases them. His face looks as red as his suit.

So now it's just us... and Santa didn't bring me any presents. Sniff... Am I on the naughty list after all? But I tried so hard! Now I'll never get the orange doggie costume I wanted! I wanna be good! Sniffel, snort... WAAAHHH! Aaaeehhh... whimper...Sniff... I shouldn't be crying. I had lots of fun with my friends today. Sniff.

At least we still have one cookie left. Do you want to break it in half and share it?

Creak...

I jump and hide behind your leg when the door opens and lets all the coldness in. The IRS man is coming in the house again, and he didn't even knock first. He just comes right in and points at the cookie you and me were gonna share.

"Did you claim that?" He asks.

"Sniff... what?" I ask.

He doesn't say anything after that. He just takes the cookie and leaves.

"M-merry... Christmas?" I call after him. I don't think he heard me because he just closed the door and left. I can see him walking away in the window.

Now we don' even have cookies. And it's too dark and cold outside to play. And... and... WWWAAAAAAHHHHHH...!

"Gir?" I hear master shout. His voice is hard to hear because he's in his lab, so we have to be quiet . "What's going on up there?"

"SANTA'S GONE, MASTER!" I say real loud so he can hear me.. Then my voice starts to get all cracky because I remember how sad I was. "HE WAS CHASIN' THE BANK ROBBER AN' THE V-VIKING AWAY, A-AN' NOW I'LL NEVER BE ORANGE! WAAAAAHHHH!"

WWAAaaah! Sniff, snivel... I have to be quiet. I have to hear what master is saying.

"... Okay Gir, it's time for you to go to bed. Come down here!"

Everything within my vision radiates crimson. "Yes sir!" I say, and then it gets all blue again.

You should probably go now. I'm kinda sleepy, and you might miss Santa coming to your house if you don't hurry... Good night. Sniff.

AN. Next time we're going to have a little fun with Gir in therapy. But I want five more reviews first! If Gir is going to get the help he needs, you better press the happy little button below!