A Night to Remember

7:30 am

Sherlock was lying across the couch, feet dangling over the edge, eyes closed (At least John thought they were closed). Sherlock was actually observing him. He hadn't had a case for over two weeks and he was, quite frankly, dying of boredom (That may not be entirely true, but it was close enough). John on the other hand was working on some medical papers. He'd been muttering to himself for the past hour.

"Jane Edison. Bill Campbell. Mariah Glen. Brenda McCaw," John mumbled. "No, no, no, can't be," he quickly stood and grabbed a medical journal off of the bookshelf. Then he started flipping through the pages. When he found the page he was seeking for, he looked up, completely flabbergasted. "Well, that is very odd."

Sherlock was curious as to what amazed him so, but, deciding not to ask for fear of John being angry at him for fake-sleeping, he put his mind to something else.

"Sherlock, you're not sleeping," John deduced five minutes later, standing up.

"And how did you know that?" Sherlock questioned. He was quite surprised.

"You move quite a bit when you're asleep. You also mumble incoherently. I didn't know it was possible to deduce while sleeping." Sherlock didn't reply to that, so John just sauntered into the kitchen to put the kettle on.

"Bored," bellowed Sherlock about 30 seconds later.

"Text Lestrade, see if he has any cold cases you could work on for the time being." Sherlock groaned in response and started rummaging through his pockets.

"Tea?" John asked just as Sherlock found his phone.

"Black, two sugars please," he answered as his thumbs began moving. He could most certainly text faster than anyone John had ever known.

John pulled out two mugs from the cupboard. As he was pouring the tea, he noticed an envelope by the door. Mail? No, mail never comes this early John thought. Must be an invitation.

"John," Sherlock yelled. "What are you doing? You're making all kinds of odd faces."

"Trying to figure something out," John answered, handing Sherlock his tea. His set his own tea down and strolled over to the door. Picking up the envelope he asked, "Sherlock, who do you suppose this is from?"

"Hm? Oh. Lestrade probably. He stopped by yesterday. Said he had a case," he responded, clearly not paying much attention.

"Solved it already than?"

"It was the brother. It's always the brother."

"Always Sherlock?" No response. The ex-army doctor just smirked and sat in his chair. Tearing open the mysterious probably-Lestrade envelope, it was confirmed.

"Well?" Asked Sherlock impatiently.

John was momentarily confused. Resolving this issue, he said, "Yes, he's inviting us to come along to some get together type thing at the bar down the street tonight. 8:00."

"Ugh, bars are boring. Plus, if you haven't noticed, I don't drink."

"Oh come on, Sherlock! It'll be fun!"

"Who's all going to be there?"

"Oh just," John looked at the list. "Lestrade, Molly, Anderson-" right when Andersons name was mentioned, Sherlock moaned extremely melodramatically. "Sherlock! You need to have a bit of fun."

"Alright! But only if you promise to let me go home after an hour,"



"Fine! Fine, you can go after an hour."

"It's settled than. 8:00," Sherlock sighed and sipped at his tea. John, still frustrated over Sherlock's… Sherlockness… stood and wandered to the staircase, leaving Sherlock to his odd deductions.

7:30 pm

"Oi! Sherlock!" John called, pulling on his dark, tan jumper. "Come on."

"Sherlock stalked out of his room wearing (to John's surprise) blue jeans and a black t-shirt that read 'genius' (typical) on the front in dark blue letters. His hair, very ruffled and messy.

"Come along John. We don't want to be late," Sherlock said, swooping passed. He grabbed his long black coat and John grabbed his own.

As they hurried down the small staircase, Mrs. Hudson shuffled into the hall, smiling widely. "Where are you two off to in such a hurry? Crime scene?" she asked.

"Some sort of festivity hosted by Lestrade," Sherlock answered, giving Mrs. Hudson a small hug.

"Have a nice time then. Don't be out too late!" She called out in a motherly tone as they dashed out the door.

8:00 pm

Sherlock and John arrived at their destination on time (for once). As they were walking through the doors of the bar, Sherlock noticed that everyone was already there. Seated at a corner table to their left.

The party consisted of Lestrade, Sally, Molly, Anderson, (and to Johns surprise) Sarah. Then there were two others that Sherlock had seen before, but did not know. John sat down and pointed to a seat across from him.

Sherlock took his seat (which was, to Sherlock's dismay, next to Sally). They were all dressed in their usual attire, aside from the fact that Anderson shaved his beard off AGAIN. He just can't, make up his mind can he?

Sherlock then started to examine the new people. He opened his mouth to start deducing aloud when Lestrade stopped him.

"Sherlock, John, these are the two office assistant's Gwen and Sophie," Lestrade said evenly, giving Sherlock the please-don't-deduce-their-life glare. Sherlock sighed heavily and sat back. "Right. Everyone, drinks on me."

They all cheered except for Sherlock I-don't-drink Holmes. Seeing Sherlock's extremely bored expression, Molly suddenly felt brave and said, "Oh come now Sherlock. Have a glass of whine at least!" then she looked down at the table, shyness catching up with her.

Sherlock glared at her saying, "Molly, you are a nuisance sometimes." Molly's expression turned to sadness. Sherlock, for some odd reason, felt like apologizing. "Not that being a nuisance is irregular. The entire world is an irritation to me."

Molly's face immediately lightened as a waitress strolled over to their table, an annoyingly large smile pasted over her oval face. "Afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I'm Rochelle. I'll be serving you this evening." (We'll obviously, thought Sherlock) "Shall we start with a bottle of wine?"

Rochelle took a quick look around the table. When she spotted Sherlock in all his Sherlockian glory, she flipped her hair and did that triple blink thing you see in movies. When Molly saw this, she gave the waitress a glair that suggested she would never be forgiven.

Lestrade glanced at the menu that was given to him a while back, then said to the waitress, "umm, yes. We'll try the Bookers Blanc de Blanc. Err, two of those actually"

The waitress nodded. "Alright, anything else?"

"No, that'll be all for now,"

"Would you like to pay now or when you're done here?"

"Now would probably be better."

"Alright. Your total will be £42.09." At those words, Lestrade started digging through his pocket, pulling out an expensive black leather wallet. Sherlock deduced that this wallet must have been a gift from some fortunately wealthy relative. For the Detective Inspector probably couldn't afford such a nice item.

Anyway, Lestrade pulled out a fifty pound note. Handing it to Rochelle, he said, "Keep the change," causing Gwen to giggle and whisper something into Sophie's ear. Soon they were both giggling away, making Sherlock want to scream and slap somebody. Of course, he didn't. Only people with an incredibly low IQ would do something ridiculous like that.

Take Anderson for instance. He enjoys slapping people when he's frustrated, and Sally too probably. Proving that there is a somewhat large amount of stupidity in both parties.

Flash back:

After Anderson loses a key piece of evidence and Sherlock is telling him how much trouble he's in. Anderson is VERY angry at the moment.

"Sherlock bloody Holmes, would you shut up!"

"Now Anderson, anger is a sign of incredible weakness. You must demonstrate more strength."

"You know what? No!"

"Well then, you will have to face the consequences of your own thoughtlessness."

At those words, Anderson turned towards the Consulting Detective and threw a punch at his face. Sherlock naturally defended himself. Catching the offending fist, he shook his head. "Anderson, you truly ought to act more like a man."

Anderson yanked his fist out of Sherlock's hand and started slapping him. Slapping him! Lestrade was standing in the doorway laughing quietly. Sherlock on the other hand was trying to catch both of Anderson's hands so as to stop his slapping fit before it got too hectic.

Lestrade then decided to walk into the room and stop Anderson before he broke something. He heaved the two apart causing all three of them to go plummeting onto the floor.

End of flash back

"Sherlock!" John yelled, tugging Sherlock out of his thoughts.

"Hm? Oh, sorry. Lost in thought," He said coolly.

"Wine?" John asked hopefully.

"No, just water for me, thank you."



"Please Sherlock?" Molly.


"Sherlock, one glass of wine. That's it. I'll have a nice new case for you tomorrow," Lestrade.

At that, Sherlock grabbed the glass of wine and downed it in one gulp. Everyone at the table stared at him, wide eyed.

"What?" he asked innocently. He then poured himself another glass, deciding that this particular wine didn't taste half bad.

9:05 pm

Sherlock had completely forgotten about going home an hour later, for he was having far too good of a time now. The first bottle of wine had been long empty, along with the second and more than half of the third.

Anderson had been telling cheesy jokes for quite a while. They were so horrible that you couldn't help but laugh.

Then Lestrade had suggested they all go to the bar half of the restaurant because no one was hungry (wine does this to you doesn't it?). They all ambled toward the counter at the other end of the building, Anderson, John, Sherlock, and Lestrade giggling furiously.

Sally, Sarah, Gwen, and Sophie didn't drink as much as the four men, but did drink just enough to also be a bit tipsy. Gwen and Sophie were still whispering to each other, making Sally and Sarah's curiosity hard to hold back.

"What're you talkin' about?" Sally finally asked.

"It's a secret," more whispering. "Tell me or I'll pour this half bottle of wine on your head."

"Nope, it's a SECRET!" Sophie said laughing loudly. Sally got frustrated and did exactly what she said she'd do. The wine was rapidly poured over Sophie's and then Gwen's head.

They squeaked and ran off in the opposite direction. Sally sighed loudly and looked at Sarah apologetically. "I hate them. They'll never tell you anything,"

After they had taken their seats at the bar, Lestrade, John, Sally (way to go hardcore Sal), and Sherlock all ordered vodka shots while the rest ordered light beer.

10:00 pm

John was holding his fifth vodka shot high in the air, trying to keep Sherlock from stealing it away from him again. All of the sudden, someone with a poufy black fro from another group of people, snatched it from his fingers. John reached out to try to steal it back when he stumbled to the left and into the arms of Anderson who promptly burst out laughing.

They all laughed at the sight of the poor doctor. Lestrade and Sherlock both mumbled something about John being a 'light wait' and giggled furiously.

"Hey e'rrybody. Les all go to my place eh?" Lestrade slurred loudly, stumbling off of the stool he'd been sitting on.

Everyone cheered and followed Lestrade out the door. They were all wandering the streets, Sarah being led by John (or was it the other way around?), Anderson being led by Sally (where was his wife?), and Lestrade and Sherlock both being led by Molly, poor girl. (Where did Gwen and Sophie go?).

Suddenly, Anderson eyed a McDonalds in the distance. "W-wait! Les all go to mcdonals!"

"Ya, tha souns fun! I wanna happy meal! Mmm!" John yelled as he started running towards the victim restaurant.

5 minutes later

As soon as they got into the restaurant, they all went to separate cashiers.

"Oi, can I getta chicken happy meal with a yellow thnake?" Sherlock lisped to the poor fellow working at the counter.

"Sure thing. What would you like to drink with that?" he asked a bit nervously.

"I wanna Bull energy Drink! I heard they can give you WINGS!" Sherlock yelled excitedly.

"I'm sorry sir. We don't serve those here." Sherlock's face fell.

"Sherlock, they can't REALLY make you fly. You have to have magical powers to do that."

Sherlock's sudden disappointment showed on his face. Then, looking like he was remembering something, he ran outside. Molly was about to go follow when Sherlock came stumbling back in, Bull in hand. (I don't wanna know where he got that, crossed everyone's mind) Sherlock took a big gulp of Bull, climbed up onto the counter and yelled, "OI E'RRYBODY! I can fly!"

He then dived and, flapping his arms wildly, landed face first onto the hard floor. One of the cashiers jumped and moved towards a telephone, ready to call for and ambulance.

John, Molly, Lestrade, Anderson, Sally and Sarah surrounded the non moving body of the Consulting Detective. Suddenly, he flipped over, laughing very loudly, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him. "Did I fly?" He mumbled gulping for air. He's certainly going to feel that in the morning, John and Lestrade thought in unison.

"No, Sherlock." John said sadly (he had been secretly hoping that he was wrong). Sherlock looked extremely disappointed. Molly and Lestrade moved to help him up.

"Okay, how's about we thkip the food and go to Lethtrades houthe?" Sherlock lisped, still not breathing correctly.

"Awright. To my place!" Lestrade.

11:10 pm

They had all gotten separate cabs to Lestrade's house (no matter how much Sherlock begged the cabbie to let them all squeeze into the back seat).

They all met at the corner. Sherlock fell over twice while he was trying to get out of the cab. John accidently gave the cabbie an extra 20 pounds (the cab driver didn't protest.)

When they got to the front door, they found Anderson crying on the doorstep. "What's wrong Andy?" Sally asked, flopping down next to him.

"She said no," more tears.


"The pretty cashier said she wouldn't marry me."

They all went quiet. Suddenly, the door burst open, revealing Sophie and Gwen. "There you guys are! We've been waiting FOREVER!" Sophie yelled. "Come on! I have a surprise," she smiled widely.

At the moment the word surprise left her lips, they were all running for the steps of Lestrade's flat, Anderson completely forgetting about his previous disappointment. John and Anderson both got stuck in the door way, trying to get in at the same time. There was some shoving and finally (after Sarah had to literally yank them apart), they got inside.

As they were running up the stares, Sherlock stumbled and promptly fell over, knocking Sarah, Gwen, Lestrade, and John back down the steps. This predicament started yet another long bout of laughter.

11:45 pm (after they all FINALLY got up the stairs)

"KARAOKE!" They all shrieked at once as soon as they saw the orange and purple karaoke machine sitting in front of a set of large (expensive looking) speakers. All the furniture had been shoved into a hallway, making enough room for a makeshift stage and dance floor.

Lestrade yelled, "PARTY!" and, grabbing someone's hand at random (not knowing it was Sherlock's hand he had grabbed), he ran up, grabbed a microphone and handed the other one to Sherlock.

'I kissed a girl' by Katy Perry began playing noisily through the fancy speakers. Lestrade started singing in a slurry, off key voice immediately. Unfortunately, Sherlock didn't want to sing. Lestrade wouldn't have that. "Sherlock, w'll you PLEASE siiing?"

"I don't wanna sing Leth. Singings fer old people."

"Oi! Who are you calling old!" Sherlock giggled and gave Lestrade a big hug. Then, what surprised them all was that, as Sherlock was giggling, he snorted loudly, causing a scene. Anderson literally fell over laughing, sitting on and breaking a tea mug in the process.

"Yes, 'm callin' you old. But I won't thing!"

"If yoo don't sing, no case," was all he had to say to get Sherlock lift the mic to his lips and shout out "I kithed a girl and I liked it!"

They swayed to the music as they sang loudly, making the song ten times worse than it already was. Together, they made the whole party laugh and dance (well, 'dance' as in 'act like a bunch of zombies on crack'.

John was trying to explain to Sarah why he was afraid of yeast (because it jumps!), when he promptly fell over into her arms. She giggled and lifted him onto the couch lazily. She lay down next to him and tried not to listen to the horrible music as she fell asleep (or passed out. Eh, close enough.)

Two minutes later, Anderson was coming back from the kitchen when he suddenly felt too dizzy to walk any further. He leaned against a wall to keep from falling face first onto the hardwood floor. It didn't work. He tipped forward and peacefully fell on his face in front of Sally, scaring her into thinking she killed him with the 'invisible poison mushroom' she had snuck in his vodka shot earlier. As she was kneeling to save him with her 'invisible antidote mushroom', she blacked out and flopped over next to him.

1:30 am

Lestrade, Sherlock, Gwen, Molly, and Sophie, still singing happily, had no clue that the rest of the party had past out long ago.

Sherlock was standing by the edge of the couch, microphone in hand, waiting for Gwen and Lestrade to finish their version of 'Boogie Woogie Woo' by ICP. Gwen was a pretty good singer compared to Lestrade, who sounded like a dying hippopotamus. But together, they sounded absolutely HORRIBLE.

Sophie disappeared about 20 minutes ago. She said she was going to the kitchen for another drink, but never came back… do we have another mystery on our hands? I think not.

"Oi! Molly!" Sherlock yelled. Molly looked up from the table in which she spilled her wine all over.

"Oi yerself!" she called back.

"Wanna dance?" Molly stood up quickly, almost knocking over a lamp in the process. She started towards him, hoping he knew how to salsa, when a monkey sprinted in through the open front door, invading the living room. Molly giggled, pointed at it, and then fell back. Sherlock ran up behind her, catching her before she had a chance to fully fall and hit her head on the table.

He then looked to see what she had been pointing at. Seeing nothing, he lay her down and again waited as the awful song got… worse? Yes, worse.

As the song ended, Lestrade grabbed Gwen's hand and said in and extremely drunk way, "Gwen Nicolson, w'll you marry mee?"

Sherlock couldn't help but laugh. "Les, you can't ask er to marry you! Yer married alr'dy!"

Gwen sighed and fell over, making Lestrade cry out in anguish and hold her head in his arms, swaying dangerously to the right, Sherlock ran over and caught him too before he fell (Why is he the one that had to catch everyone? I mean really, he had two more vodka shots than Lestrade did).

"Thnks Sherlick. Yer a real g'd friend. I'll make sher you get a g'd case tomorrow," he said before, like everyone else, falling over, out cold.

"Sherlock decided he didn't want to pass out in the sitting room, so he so he started towards what he was sure was… or what he thought… no, he was sure… or was he… Ahhh! The great Sherlock Holmes NEVER gets confused!

The room suddenly started swaying and Sherlock felt his feet slipping from under him. Oh come on! Why did he have to be standing by a stairs? Of all the bloody places!


Everything was quiet as the dead (I bet Sherlock would have something to say about that). Sophie entered the room, movie in hand. Where was everybody?

She wandered into the kitchen and saw two people on the floor: Sally and Anderson. She giggled in understanding and went into the living room. John was on the couch, Sarah next to him. Lestrade was lying next to Gwen on the floor, his hand in hers. Sherlock was… wait, where was Sherlock?

Sophie went and checked the hallway, the bedrooms, and the bathrooms. He was nowhere to be found. She was just about to leave when she spotted movement coming from the bottom of the staircase.

She trotted down the stairs and saw something one might find a bit odd. Sherlock was lying at the bottom of the steps, head on the ground, feet up on the fourth step. This sounds normal enough right? Wrong. The odd bit was that there was a monkey sitting next to him, petting the detectives head.

Sophie started laughing extremely hard and stalked back up the steps and into the sitting room, where she decided that she would have to find floor space to kip for the night.

Wow, this surely was a night to remember.