Sorry it took so long folks. The poor writing on the show makes me feel like I'm writing about strangers this season. Cuddy has been a robot for the past two seasons….House would never let her go without a fight.Bombshells 5
Wilson came in a couple of hours later. He had knocked gently and cracked the door. Cuddy was awake, lying in bed in the darkened room. She raised her hand and signaled for him to come in.
"How are you doing?" He asked quietly as he walked across the room to her bedside.
"Better, fevers down and…I …I'm fine." Cuddy felt a lump forming in her throat. She shook her head quietly. "He's using again Wilson. He smashed his hand, and…"
Wilson nodded. "I know…I found him at his place this morning .He's a wreck."
She nodded slowly. And raised a hand running it through her long dark curls. "I know you blame me." She said quietly.
He shook his head and raised his hands up, "I don't blame you Cuddy. Jesus, I know he's an ass…but… he loves you. You know that."
"I do, "she started and paused for a moment, pressing her eyes shut. "I do know he loves me, but it's not enough. I should have never…."
"Stop, Cuddy stop!" He held a hand up to stop her and took a step closer to her bed. "Don't say "you should have never'. This year was the happiest I've ever seen House," he pause for a moment, "Or you for that matter."
"He's never going to change," she said shaking her head. "He can't change…he doesn't want to."
Wilson looked at her and his eyes widened in disbelief. "He has changed. Can't you see that Cuddy?" He shook his head, "He's changed so much in the past year. I mean he's still House, but he's trying."
She rested her head in her hands. "I just don't think it's enough."
Wilson shrugged; he walked over and rested his hand on her shoulder rubbing it softly. "He loves you Cuddy. And I think he's trying as hard as he can. Whether that's enough, is up to you."
It was early evening when Cuddy was finally discharged. They had wanted her to be twelve hours fever free, and she had almost hit the mark before pulling rank, and getting herself off a few hours early.
Wilson had come back in to make sure she was okay and able to drive home. "I'm fine." She had insisted, "I am 48 hours passed a minor biopsy Wilson."
"A minor biopsy, a fever, and….a broken heart." He had added with a crooked smile.
"Well," she had shrugged. "They aren't going to be able to fix that here."
"Maybe House can." He mentioned softly. "At least talk to him. He's upstairs."
She found him in his office. The lights were dimmed and he was sitting on his lounger with his legs up on the ottoman. The red ball in his left hand.
He had seen her peeking into his conference room, then followed her tentative steps towards his office. She was dressed now; yoga pants and a cream colored sweater. Her hair was in a ponytail. She had probably discharged herself. She looked better, still a little ragged.
"Hi," she said softly as she walked in and closed the door behind her.
He didn't answer. Just stared at the ball.
"I know I was harsh," she started, "I didn't want…."
He looked at her. "I took one pill. One fucking pill and you tossed everything in the garbage. You expect me to not be mad?"
"House, it's not about the pill. The one pill. It's about you not being there for me." She raised her voice incrementally. "You ignored me until you thought I was going to die! I needed you! But it's all about you, about proving a point, about not giving in."
"I didn't think it was anything serious," he whispered. "I made a mistake."
"Well, I Know, but I need someone who is there for me. A hundred percent of the time, not when they feel like it…or when they think…that I'm going to die. " She stopped for a moment and looked at him. "I'm sorry House, I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I hurt myself…but I can't do this anymore. It's not fair to me." With that she turned around and started heading towards the door.
"What about when I needed you?" His voice broke the silence. "You don't think I needed you when I was in Mayfield?"
She turned on her heel. "House don't….don't …"
"Don't what?" He asked taking his legs off the ottoman and sitting himself up with his one good hand. "You don't think I needed you when I was in a fucking nut house? I mean Jesus; I went there because I hallucinated you after all. You caring for me….loving me…"
"House," Cuddy started, "I didn't even know…"
"Oh bullshit," he cut her off and stood up. "You knew, you knew everything and you had a good laugh about it while you were screwing Lucas. You don't think I needed you then? Coming back here and having to face you after weeks inside that place, where all I did was flip the same fucking worn out thoughts over and over in my own mind. Wondering why you never called, or visited…not one fucking time!"
Cuddy's mouth hung open, she was stunned and stung. hurt by his bitter harsh words. She had no idea how to feel or to react. She had never known how deeply he had felt about these issues. It was he who had chosen to never, ever talk about her year with Lucas.
"I didn't…I didn't mean that I didn't know," she began, her voice shaking ever so slightly, "I meant that I didn't know you wanted me to visit, I didn't know how you felt, "
He limped towards her without his cane and stopped inches before her. "You knew when I came back. You knew exactly how I felt about you. You knew, and you played me until there was no way you could hide that fucking asshole from me for a minute longer so don't act like you didn't know." He stopped and stared into her shocked green eyes before lowering his voice and nodding slightly, "And don't act like I've never been in the receiving end of getting hurt, because it's not true."
"I…I….House, I never meant to hurt you." She stammered, reaching out to grasp his forearm. "I was terrified House, terrified…you lost your mind, and the drugs…no one knew what to expect. And Lucas," she pause and looked away. "Things just happened."
"I know" he mumbled, "Things just happen to me all the time. I never meant to hurt you Cuddy. I thought you were dying. I took the pill because I couldn't face that. I couldn't face the pain….I couldn't…" He laughed softly, "The Vicodin is more of a crutch for me than that damn cane. I couldn't face losing you without it….and…" he laughed again "I lost you because of it."
"I'm sorry." She whispered her eyes filling with tears as she reached out a hand and cupped his cheek. "I'm so sorry."
He nodded slowly. "I never even had a chance did I?" –
**Reviews are my muse !***