epilogue

The phone call he received from Harry was expected, but that didn't make it any less painful. Harry didn't really need to say anything; the despair in his voice said everything he needed to know. His stomach had been tying itself in knots for days, and he realised that having the knowledge that something terrible was going to happen didn't actually make it any easier to deal with when it did happen. It was less of a shock, he supposed, yet still shook him when it happened. He was mildly aware that his legs gave way and he crumpled to the ground, whilst still on the phone.

It was a few minutes before he realised that Janet had approached him, wrapping her arms around him where he had fallen to the ground, letting her own tears fall and mix with his. There was no need for her to ask what had happened, his current state was explanation enough.

Nikki had been such a special person, had given so much to this life and he couldn't bring himself to imagine it without her. He promised himself that he'd never forget her, never attempt to replace the special place she was held in his heart. He doubted there was anyone out there capable of replacing her, she truly was one of a kind.

One of a kind with a beautiful smile, an infectious giggle, and the most intense brown eyes he had ever come across. Her feisty attitude had grown on him since day one, when he couldn't help but be drawn in by her despite the situation they met in. He had never expected it, but she became like a daughter to him. No one would ever replace Cassie in his heart, but Nikki had filled a similar space. Somehow he had come to think of her as family, worry about her when something was wrong; be proud of her when she accomplished something impressive. He had never intended for it to happen, but she slid in through his defensives without him even noticing.

He couldn't imagine how Harry was going to deal with this. Knowing how long they had taken to come to the realisation of how they felt made him wonder if it was worse. That they'd finally admitted to their feelings even though it had no potential of lasting. Although, he remembered the look on Nikki's face sitting in a hotel room in Hungary. The fact that she thought she would never have a chance to tell him, never find out if he felt the same way, never have the opportunity to be with him. He could see it was eating her up inside. Never knowing. At least now Harry had the opportunity to grieve properly rather than live in wonder of what could have been. And that was essential if he was ever going to get over this. Right now he wasn't sure how that could happen any time soon.

It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, but it was life. He hoped that one day it would be ever so slightly less painful for both of them.

That day was a hell of a long way away.

Fin

...

A/N… eek…it's finally finished and I just got all nervous about putting it up! I know you probably all hate me now, and I'm sure I would too, but it just kinda happened when I started writing this story – wrote some of the ending quite early on and just couldn't see any other way to go with it. I finished writing the epilogue ages ago, but finishing the last chapter was really really hard for me – had a whole load of middle that wasn't written and have really struggled to work out how to do that! Think I'm happy with it now though.

Totally cannot believe I've spent most of this year working on this! Really have enjoyed writing it, though I thought I'd have more time on my hands once I'd finished it, but I have already been taken over by a new story - oops…

Massive thanks to everyone who's stuck with it, this is by far the longest thing I've written – and actually finished for once! All of you that have been amazing and sent so many reviews, you've really kept me going…and anyone else out there that's been reading – take this one last opportunity to let me know what you think? I'll love you for it!

Come on…there's a little button just down there…you know you want to ;-)