A/N: I know this has been done a million and one times already but I couldn't get Garcia's voice mail off my mind. That's when I first began crying in the episode. I'm also tired and stressed about the whole situation with my English class + my exams at the moment so this was a way of destressing - writing fanfiction. Finally finished cheerleaders but I'm just fine-tuning it!
Post Lauren - I guess it's Emily's thoughts! Did not mean to copy anyone else who has done anything similar to this becuase I actually haven't read many post Lauren stories
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 6x18 LAUREN! If you do not want to be spoiled don't read - all my friends in Australia big shout out to you because I don't want to ruin it for you!
"Hey, it's me, Hotch asked me to try all your numbers and I have this as an old listing and you probably don't use this anymore, but if it is you and you're out there, come home. Please! God Emily, what did you think? That we would let you just walk out of our lives? I am so furious at you right now. Then I think of how scared you must be, in some dark place all alone, but you're not alone, okay? You're not alone. We are in that dark place with you, we are waving flashlights and calling your name, so if you can see us, come home. If you can't then… then you stay alive, cause we're coming."
Tears fell as she listened to the message for the tenth time that night, curled up in bed, in the foetal position, phone pressed to her ear in a dark motel room. That message broke her heart every time that she heard it, yet she needed to keep listening to it as it reminded her of where she belonged. It was her only connection to the past.
Like the ring, she'd tried to flush, the message that Garcia had left her was the only connection she now had to her past – another dead alias. Lauren was dead, Emily was dead, and once more, she found herself living under an assumed identity. With that amount of times she'd changed identity you would think she'd be used to it by now. But Emily Prentiss was one that she had a hard time giving up.
She wished that she didn't have to leave, that she could've stayed alive, but it wasn't safe, and the only way to protect them was to leave – again - this time making them all believe that she didn't survive. She knew that it would probably have destroyed her team, Garcia in particular, but she also knew that Morgan and Reid would have felt affected too.
Memories of Morgan holding her in his arms came back to her, and she felt a lump in her throat.
"No, I am not letting you go," he spoke to her, holding her close, as she tried to stay awake, "Help me!" he yelled. Looking back down at his partner, he was trying hard to hold back his tears. "Listen to me, I know why you did all of this. I know what you did for Declan. I am so proud of you. Do you understand that? I am proud of you, because you are my friend, and you are my partner."
Eyes blinking rapidly Emily struggled to stay awake, fighting a losing battle.
"No, Emily! C'mon, stay with me! If you can hear me, please, just squeeze my hand."
Gently, she squeezed his hand, unable to do anything else as her world slowly became black.
"Yes! There you go, there you go. Just keep squeezing."
As she lay there she kept thinking over the past five years with Morgan, glad that she'd had a chance to be friends with him, be partners with him, and even though she knew that he hated her for lying to him, he was here with her, trying to save her life, begging her not to leave him.
It would have hurt him to find out that she'd died – he would have broken down and she was almost worried about what would happen to him. She wanted to tell him but knew that she had no choice – he would forgive her – over time.
Reid was the other one she was worried about. He'd told her his secret – she was the only one that he'd told and she was a little worried about what that would mean to him, now that she was gone. She loved the team like a family, but someone she felt a connection with Reid that she didn't feel with anyone else. And maybe that was because she could understand him where as no one else really could. And now that connection had been broken, the bond un-done…
She wished so much that she could call her team, to tell them, but it was too dangerous, for her, and her team. Sacrifices had to be made, and she was more then willing to make them – especially since she'd already done so once before.
Scrolling through the options on her phone, she deleted the voice-mail, no longer able to hold back the sobs, the emotions of the past few days. She knew that, no matter what happened, she'd always have a place there and that when things were safe, she could go back home. Home to the place where she belonged, to the people; that were her family.