A/N: Not that I imagine you need to know or that you care, but when I talk to my best friend (I'll call her 'E' for simplicity's sake), I often refer to her as Mr. Spock and she calls me Dr. McCoy. Because I so often say odd things to her, she's taken to replying like the Star-Trek-fan she is: "That, doctor, is highly illogical." So… just so you know. McCoy. Spock. BFFs.
Anyway, thanks for the reviews! I was shocked by the response—I mean, no, it's not the most I've ever gotten, but it's incredible for a Star Trek/Merlin crossover!
Maybe Arthur hadn't enough time to get used to knowing Merlin's secret. Maybe there was too much of his father in him. Maybe Arthur was stupid and a prat. Whatever the reason behind it, Arthur didn't bite his tongue when he saw the three men standing in Gaius's chambers, but instead gasped in a horror-filled, disgusted voice:
The look Merlin gave him made him freeze, immediately guilty.
Oops. He'd forgotten that saying that word with such obvious prejudice would tend to anger the servant. Understandably, though—Arthur could vividly remember the day he found out about the non-evil side of magic. It was hard to forget, as Merlin had punched Arthur in the face. (Okay, yeah, Arthur threw the first punch, and it wasn't like Merlin's pathetic attempt hurt, but still…) From that morning on, Arthur knew that he really should have a more open mind about magic.
Even when a rainbow in human-ish form appeared in his physician's rooms.
That's why Arthur was slightly relieved when instead of yelling (or face-punching… Not that it hurt the first time, mind you!), Merlin simply snapped. "Don't be ridiculous, Arthur. Of course they aren't sorcerers; can't you tell?"
No, Arthur couldn't, but evidently Merlin could.
So they weren't sorcerers, which begged the question: Who were they?
The leader, a big man with light hair and a fitting shirt so shiny that diamonds had to be sewn into it (though the chest underneath could not compare to Arthur's own, he was sure), answered that question first crack out of the barrel.
"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the starship Enterprise. This is my first officer, Mr. Spock, and my head surgeon, Dr. McCoy. Who are you, what are we doing here, and what do you want with us?" All three bent cylinders, which Arthur assumed were some sort of weapon – hadn't Kirk called them phasers? – were aimed at Arthur, who was obviously the bigger threat. As he was carrying a sword, and Merlin was not.
Arthur and Merlin blinked in surprise. The man in yellow – Kirk – had said that all without taking a breath, really fast, and without changing expression. It was pretty impressive, but they weren't sure exactly what he'd said. He was a captain, they heard that…
"What's a starship?" asked Merlin in confusion.
"Why have you kidnapped us?" demanded Captain Kirk.
"Why did you appear in a beam of light?" asked Merlin.
"What planet is this?"
"Earth," supplied Merlin, confused. "Where else?"
An older man behind Captain Kirk, who wore a blue, also shiny shirt, looked around and spoke up. "This is not what Earth looks like!" What had Kirk called him? McCoy?
The third man finally spoke in a dry, solemn voice, checking a weird black box that hung about his shoulder. "It was in the 6th century, Captain."
"Yes," said Merlin, befuddled. "When else?"
"That's not possible, Mr. Spock!" cried the captain quite excitedly, spinning around so fast that both Arthur and Merlin became dizzy. "There wasn't the technology needed to yank three Starfleet officers from the bridge sixth century, Earth!"
"Well, Captain," said Mr. Spock, raising his eyebrows in a way that made Merlin think of Gaius, "I suppose we'd have to ask them about it. The tricorder says sixth century, Earth, unless it's malfunctioning."
Merlin and Arthur probably understood about one in every ten words.
Kirk turned back around, eyes narrowed as he took in the sight of Arthur and Merlin. He briefly thought about the Prime Directive, but decided that as he'd been pulled into the sixth century by someone here, it didn't exactly apply. Besides, for someone who should supposedly be willing to let his entire crew die rather than tell primitive civilizations about space travel, Captain Kirk rarely followed that rule. "Who are you?" he asked, gesturing at them.
"I'm Arthur Pendragon and this is my servant, Merlin," the prince informed the captain.
Mr. Spock's eyebrow was making Merlin wish he had Gaius here so he could compare. "As in, King Arthur Pendragon?"
Dr. McCoy's eyebrow joined Mr. Spock's, and Merlin had a horrible thought—what if these people, whoever they were, all lifted their eyebrows in that intimidating way? What if they were just like Gaius? Luckily, Kirk did not show any signs of being in that state of perpetual disbelief or slightly condescending unflappability. Merlin liked him already.
Kirk seemed to process this, and then turned and looked back at Spock. "We've been pulled back in time? Again?"
"A bit farther this time, though, Jim," remarked McCoy.
Spock concurred. "We… seem to be in the time of 'knights and dragons', as they say."
Merlin's eyes flew open and he swallowed hard, clutching onto the table where he ate. "D-dragons? What about a dragon?" Oh, no. If they knew about Kilgharrah…
"That's a myth, surely," said Kirk, ignoring Merlin. The warlock didn't mind, though. He was used to that behavior.
"Apparently not, Captain, because we are in it."
"How," asked the captain, now in a dramatic whisper, "is that possible?"
Arthur started forward, feeling that they did, after all, owe these men an explanation. But he didn't trust them, so the sword stayed in his hands.
"Jim," McCoy called, alerting the captain to Arthur's approach.
Kirk turned around, eyeing Arthur warily yet again. Quite understandable. Kirk generally didn't trust people with swords as a rule, unless they were named 'Sulu'. Even then…
"That was my servant's fault," explained Arthur, trying to achieve the remarkable feat of looking unthreatening enough to be trusted and threatening enough not to be messed with. He had debatable success.
Kirk cast Merlin a calculating look.
"And how is that?" asked Mr. Spock, folding his arms behind him and looking curious.
Arthur and Merlin shared a look, and both silently asked the other the question: Can these people be trusted with Merlin's secret? Because, as much as they deserved an explanation, Arthur could live with being unfair if it meant Merlin stayed alive.
"Where did you say you were from again?" asked Merlin.
Captain Kirk considered lying. He considered following the rules. But then, since he'd already told them certain things he shouldn't have… Might as well be hung for a cow as a goat.
"The twenty-third century."
Arthur's eyes met Merlin's again. "It's not like they're in a position to tell my father."
"Especially not in those shiny shirts… And with that one's ears."
Arthur nodded and turned back to Kirk. "He was using a spell that went wrong, and he accidently dragged you three from your… ship."
"Magic?" asked McCoy in an entirely doubtful tone.
Merlin was used to that tone, too, whenever he was accused of having magic.
Kirk's first impulse was to argue that magic didn't exist, but he bit his tongue as he mulled it over. After all, until a very short time ago, he would've argued that the Greek gods hadn't existed either.*
"I'm very sorry about it, too," said Merlin, bobbing his head, and for the first time Kirk realized that this… servant, Merlin (wait, the Merlin?) rather resembled a puppy dog. A loyal look in his eye, a goofy smile on his face, and a look like he was always being chastised. (And if he pulled men from a few thousand years in the future to his city every day, he probably was.)
Kirk nodded slowly.
"Um… now that I've apologized, can everyone put up their weapons? If that's what those are…"
Kirk obligingly slipped his phaser back into his belt, and McCoy and Spock followed his lead. Arthur sheathed the sword. The tension and distrust in the room went down about fifty percent—Mr. Spock would give a more exact measurement, of course, but as a Vulcan he was rather poor at feeling the distrust in the air.
Spock observed, though he said nothing out loud, that though a silly looking boy, Merlin seemed to have the power to make things happen, even if no one realized it. That was probably a good thing—If he really did have magic, power could be useful. Subtle power could be necessary.
They spent the next half hour explaining things to each other.
Merlin was much relieved to discover that, no; people did not grow pointed ears in the future. He was disturbed to discover that there were other planets. He absolutely refused to believe that the world wasn't round. He was also displeased at finding out how very flimsy those diamond-shirts were. Kirk just brushed up against a splinter on the medical table and a huge gash appeared on the fabric. (Merlin had been displeased at this because whoever made their clothes was obviously ripping them off, and he kept his master clothed properly.)
Arthur, for his part, was relieved that swordplay still existed, even if it was renamed fencing.
McCoy, who turned out to be an expert on the legend, thought the facts that magic was outlawed, that Merlin was young, and that Guinevere was a servant were mind-blowing (though Arthur couldn't figure out what was so earth-shattering about them—especially the last two).
Kirk was glad that the person who pulled them back in time wasn't a killer, a lunatic, or someone else with malicious intent. He was also happy that Merlin could, after looking up the spell, send them home again.
Spock, whose scientific curiosity was getting the better of him, was rather happy to be told that while Merlin tried to find the reverse spell, the officers of the Enterprise got to explore Camelot.
"But not in those clothes," Arthur said. "You'd be arrested in a second. Captain Kirk, you could borrow one of my shirts… It should fit, for the most part."
"But please don't mess it up," begged Merlin. "I have to clean it!"
"Mr. Spock… try one of Merlin's shirts. It might be a little snug, but it will work."
"Don't mess it up, either," whined the warlock. "It's the only other one I have!"
"Doctor…" Arthur stopped and looked McCoy up and down, stumped. McCoy shifted his weight rather uncomfortably.
"Gwen still has a few of her father's shirts lying around," Merlin said. "But you can't mess it up any more than Arthur's shirt or my shirt."
"Why? Surely you don't have to clean his clothes too?" remarked McCoy, ever snarky.
"Gwen's father died. She's attached to his things."
"Oh…" McCoy went silent as he attempted to pull his foot out of his mouth.
"Alright," said Arthur. "I'll go get my shirt. Merlin, give Mr. Spock yours. Then you can go and collect another from Gwen."
"When he goes, can I come along?" asked Kirk. "I must admit, I'm rather curious about Camelot."
He shouldn't have done that, really.
A/N: Because I really wanted to get this out today, and because it was longer than I wanted, I decided to split Star Trek into two parts. I may or may not do that for the others! I will be doing a crossover for Howl's Moving Castle too. Possibly The Princess Bride movie. Any more suggestions? Please review and tell me what you thought. Because I had to cram information, this chapter was less funny, but hopefully you still cracked a smile? If so, tell me.
* Reference to Star Trek episode "Who Mourns for Adonis?" (The internet says that's wrong but it so isn't!) They discover that Greek gods existed, but were actually powerful and ALMOST immortal aliens. And Kirk wins the screen with this line when told he should bow down and worship the gods: "No, thanks, we find the one quite sufficient."