The Inversion of the Slime Snatchers!
Starring: Dietrich and Reaper Rayne
Mucus Utopia: There Will Be Slime.
Dietrich couldn't believe his ears as the world collapsed around his ears as he stood agape at the arrival of the Slimes which had arrived from another sector of the village, he could feel their cold clammy hands reach out despondently as the farmer had already dropped his pitchfork, uncomprehending of the disaster that had befallen them. Their unearthly moans only heightened the prickles he felt as the leader of the Green Slimes had approached, whining in its mechanical voice: "Greetings, Lorians! We have come for your Brains!" Brains? Of WHAT kind? Dietrich looked nervously around at the crowd murmuring their dissents as one farm-hand stepped forwards, meek and mild. Looking up with her wide brown eyes, she seemingly seemed ignorant of their plight and a hush fell on the crowd as a burble erupted from the nearest slime, it seemed to set its eyes on her.
"State your initiative." The basking Slime stated, casting a wet glare on the growing crowd gathering around the unaware foolish Lorian, there was much stuttering, "Out with it!" At once there was a commotion as the Slime had found its implemented target, a lone grey kitten as it mewled pitifully. "This creature does not compute," stated another incurious Slime, finding the influx of information seemingly irrelevant to the Slime's main goal. The kitten was startled and tried to shake off the offending Slime in the lubricating ooze. Got its paws sticky in the mucus.
"Leave now, otherworldly creature from the Plane of green Jell-O!" Warlic stated, only to be pelted with the offending substance which now splattered over the dignified Blue mage. Amidst horrified expressions the Mage swayed under compulsion from the rioting Slimes who slithered. He stood stock still as his expression changed to one of neutrality and the bewildered Mage composed his dignity. The Slime Leader started clearing its throat as Warlic stood once more, pronounced leader of the Slimes. At this everyone gave an unanimous 'Oh no!' and shocked murmurs as the mage laughed sinisterly: "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE." Jell-O-Warlic boomed, harshly accenting his words carefully. "You are all doomed! To an oubliette of your own making," The other slimes said, turning in onto their opposition.
"Twilly doesn't understand!" protested the brown Moglin, "I thought we could be friends with the alien Slimes!" Dietrich clenched his fist, before running towards the lodge. "Good thing I saved this Pitchfork for a rainy day, time to make a few house calls."
"Will there be ice-wream?" asked Twig excitedly, "or fwishes?" They both regarded the empty Inn devoid of the former Heroes of yore, sadly complementing their fated destinies as slaves of the wretched Slimes.
"Lots," Farmer Dietrich falsely promised, hiding an insecure smile under his confident exterior, "But time to venture forth. It's a 'rainy day'... Are you here?" He muttered a code word as instantly, someone's cloak started billowing in the non-existent breeze. "Rayne? You here, DAY!" Deep breath...
"RAAAAAAYNEEEE ENDYMION, bring your britches here right this minute!" Dietrich yelled, stomping his foot on the rainswept floor, impatient. Surely that insufferable rogue wasn't too busy tallying up his list... Across town, Reaper Rayne was sharpening his Galaxy-scythe when his unclean ears picked up a distant sound, as Benedict ran around panting. "Firk," curses Rayne darkly, "Looks like this is a grreat day for reaping!" In anger, he stomped all the way to the inn, making an imposing shadow on the walls. "HELLO!" yelled a familiar campy voice, as the massive figure picked up his scythe. Dietrich almost leapt out of his shaking boots.
"My old pal Ray-rayne. You're the only one left." Dietrich admitted rather shakily, "The only other Hero I could count upon- since dear Melkior and Diaglo moved out of the district several months ago. Said they were a couple or something. Yet you never changed locations or appearance since ever..."
"I'll be around till the end of time itself, as always. As being assistant to Death had its perks. While the ol' boss is lazing around in his jacuzzi." Rayne muttered cheerfully, "Good morrow Dietrich, what annoyance befalls you?"
"Everything annoying is befalling me!" exclaimed Dietrich in annoyance, which kind of defeated Rayne's joke, but anyway. Rayne didn't mind at all, but he nodded in Dietrich's direction. "Oh, look at the time, I'll be right back!" Rayne exclaimed, diving out the window with a sudden swift movement. There was a loud SPLASH heard and a few minutes later, a water-sodden, soaked small-sized Rogue ran into the barn, scrawnier and skinner than usual from the Hydra lake. Dietrich's eyebrow's quirked, he was really used to Rayne's antics.
"A change of plans," Rayne smiled, before urging Dietrich to lend him a silver Credit coin. The exasperated farmer sighed and lent the green haired guy a coin. "The things I do for a little peace and quiet," mused rogue Rayne, pocketing the coin in his knapsack. Dietrich rolled his eyes.
"This is urgent," Dietrich stammered, before pausing "(no, I have to be more dramatic) I mean, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, The Land of Rising Evil has need of you!" Rayne snored at this.
"Sorry,you were saying?" smiled Rayne a bit clueless as the farmer and Twig now directed (or dragged) Rayne to the window. "Ah, I see. Local population slimes. Nothing unusual about that."
"Braaaains," droned the zombie Slime-snatchers, reaching out for Rayne who shut the door in their faces. "RAGH!" yelled the slimed-citizens.
"So it looks like the majority of Battleon's forces have been mincemeat for the Slimes," paled Rayne, suddenly realizing the urgency of the situation. "We have to do something! Barricade the exits."
"That's what we've deen twying to swell wu all along in de fwirst pwace!" urged Twig.
"It's time for drastic measures! Quick! Hand me my scythes!" Rayne had a purely dangerous look on his face, "Smokin' scythes! And now for my closeup!" He was ready for his close-up.
"Polaroid cameras weren't invented nowadays, silly ol' Rayne" Dietrich revealed as Rayne the counting Rogue sweat-dropped.
"Well at least I don't hafta tell a bad joke to Death like I did last time..."
Unnecessary Flashback of much doomness
Rayne's former lazy boss who was called Egad Death, set his martini down on the lazy-chair as he was on holiday at the moment, watching a stand up comedian, who was shaking visibly at the knees.
"You're on!" the skeletal Lorian stated, stifling a hidden yawn as he crossed off souls using his finger-bone. If the comedy was successful with this act, maybe the Avatar could pull off a holiday and no one would be any the wiser. A spotlight beamed on Rayne as he sweated, stammering at his cue-cards, after all, he WAS looking at the personification of Death! And trying to make him laugh of all things! And he HATED stand up comedy. Another ghostly mage was also next in line, but she seemed rather insolent at her task.
"I'll never know... Okay. This is for all the fine ladies out there!" Rayne stammered, dropping his cue cards, "Um. That was bad," Rayne nervously laughed, "What did one hearse say to the other hearse? Is that your coffin you're holding?" Death looked bored of the gallows humour, pointing a thumb down at the event.
"That was bad," commented the former mage, glowering at Rayne, "And so not funny, you make a terrible comedian, you know that?"
"Boring!" commented the other Avatar of Death, Bunny-E, "Want a tequila!" Death declined as he kept his eye-sockets on Rayne.
"Um, another? sure. What do you call two men with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?" Rayne interjected, as the two people in the audience shrugged.
"Curtain and Rod!" Rayne stated. Death stared, before... laughing.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" boomed the guy named Death, "I've never heard just a funny joke. You're rehired as my personal assistant!" The second mage sprang up!
"Now it's time for my joke! Two guys walked into a bar and..."
"But I hadn't even told you my joke yet." The mage's ghost responded angrily and started sulking at the stage.
"Back to the afterlife for you, ancient old witch." boomed Bunny-E.
"Hey, firking. I'm not even an old-" At that Rayne laughed at the irony, slapping his knees in joy.
"Well, considering the dramatic-ness of the situation at hand," Rayne considered, "WE must take much imperative in what we must decide. For the most ultimate showdown: We all must take-..." Dietrich and Twilly held their breath in bated expectation, "Oh noes," face-palmed Twilly, "Why'd I get the feeling that Rayne's not a long-term planner" After several agonising moments
"- We must all take... A SHOWER!" declared Rayne, a light-bulb flashing on his head brightly, "That and ammunition, lots of Scythes and a mounted chainsaw".
"You are getting off track," declared sensible Dietrich, the farmer glancing at the crowd mounting outside the Inn.
"That's what he said, to the bathroom!" Rayne said interpreting his friend's vague statement wrong and literally.
"Do I have to... undress with you?" Dietrich asked hesitantly as they both climbed into Cysero's bath-tub with lack of interest. The Farmer was about to take off his top and do what Rayne requested, but he stopped just in time.
"No need too, I hide my Scythe collection in here when Cysero's not washing his ears," Rayne responded, "and I bet there's one thing these Slime-balls won't go near, hygienic Lorians!" Twilly scratched his ears at that as Rayne removed his armour and tossed the rest of his equipment to the side of the room. "Won't be needing THESE where I come in." Rayne stated cheerfully as the slimes gathered around the locked bathroom door.
The fortunate money-pincher filled the bath to the brim with steamy water, obscuring Dietrich in the heat of the moment. His blue-tinged sides glistened as his scrawny figure was shown. "Now to add a pinch of molar and the essence of beau de lake water!" Rayne now removed a vial of unidentified fresh water to the mixture of bath water and immediately leapt into the fray with a splash.
"Rayne!" Dietrich responded as he blushed, "Remember to censor your privacy, wouldn't want the slimed ones to get the wrong idea."
"NOW to activate... my metamorphosis into a gorgeous hunk!" Rayne yelled dramatically while he emerged from the tub, fully formed and muscular to the brim, "Body BUILDER of DESTRUCTION! For I am the Destroying Angel, REAPER Rayne!" His form was immediately transfigured to a muscular hunk with abs that stood out prominently. Dietrich made out Rayne wasn't clothed but could see the censorship was already working on an unclothed Rayne, the black bar censoring his nether-regions and causing Twig and Twilly to sigh with relief at this...!
"Woah! Now that's something we all don't get to see everyday," muttered Twilly.
"It's CROWD clobbering time!" yelled Reaper Rayne, unsheathing his massive scythe.