This story doesn't particularly have much of a plot. I was in one of those ridiculous moods and joking around with my sister and we both gave each other one line and an hour to write a story, and this is what I came up with. She liked it, so I thought I'd share. This is a slash story, the premise being that Clark and Oliver are in a relationship. Forgive the ridiculous title in advance. Credit for the opening line goes to ieresial.
Jealous Boys and Dangerous Toys
The quibbling grew louder as Oliver ducked the vase that flew in his direction.
"Lois! What are you doing?" Clark jumped to his boyfriend's defense as Lois wound up to throw the next object within reach at Oliver.
They had broken into teams, it appeared. Team Oliver and Team Lois took March Madness to a whole new level. It was more like March Insanity. Caesar thought the Ides of March was bad? He hadn't gotten in between a fight between these two volatile personalities.
"Don't you think that you can just hide behind Clark, Oliver!" Lois yelled at him with her sisters of solidarity at her side.
"You really crossed a line this time, Oliver." Chloe looked on with disapproval. "How could you do that?"
"Get him good Lois," Tess said with a curt nod of her head, "Aim for below the belt, that's where Oliver does all his thinking after all."
"Clark, Clark these women are out of their minds!" Oliver hissed at his boyfriend's ear, careful not to step out from behind his super powered shield.
"I can't believe that you'd side with Oliver, Clark." Chloe shook her head with a disappointed look on her face. "I'm your best friend."
"It's not Clark's fault." Tess shook her head, "No, this one is all on Oliver, Chloe."
Angrily, Lois threw a brass candlestick holder that Clark caught easily a foot from his chest.
Emil had been on their side, but it looked like he abandoned the cause for greener pastures. Ones where violence were not the order for the day.
"What did he even do?" Clark raised an eyebrow at them, "Do you even have some sort of justification for trying to kill Oliver? Chloe?"
Clark tried to reason with the one who was commonly the most sensible of the trio.
"Why don't you ask the psycho archer!" Chloe retorted angrily.
Clark turned to Oliver. "Ollie?"
Oliver mumbled so quietly that Clark had to use his super hearing to hear his boyfriend. "I accidentally shot Batman."
"Come again?" Clark repeated, stunned by the revelation.
"He shot Bruce!" The woman all said at once, and all in an outrage.
Clark almost stepped to the side to leave Oliver on his own, but no matter what stupid thing Oliver had done…he still loved him.
"I'm sure it was an accident."
"No." Oliver muttered under his breath. "The only accident was that I missed any vital organs."
Clark swiveled to look Oliver in the eye. "Explain. Now."
"Don't treat me like a child."
"If you're going to act like a child, I will too treat you like one."
"Oliver," Lois said her eyes glinting angrily, "Was being his usual psycho possessive self!"
"He thought that Batman was hitting on you when you went on patrol together." Tess crossed her arms together, "Completely off base as usual, Oliver."
"Not completely." Chloe's lips twitched into a smile, "I'll be fair Oliver. Bruce was checking you out Clark, but Oliver that was no excuse for shooting him."
"Uh, I had every excuse to. What, the guy thinks he's a billionaire and so he can do whatever he wants? Have whoever he wants? Ego, much?"
The women broke into hysterical and unbalanced laughter. They nearly fell to the floor, and Clark realized as the only sane one he would need to take charge. He super-sped Oliver to his office and warned him to stay put and not touch any bows or arrows before rushing back to Watchtower to check on the girls and call Emil.
As far as he could tell, they had finally cracked under the pressure. They were all delusional. Bruce couldn't possibly be interested in him, because he was seeing Lois. Why would a guy want him when he could have Lois?
"I hate you too." Lois mumbled, under whatever sedative Emil had given her, "You take all the hot guys Clark. All the hot guys."