Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters, just love the show immensely! I will update my other stories again soon. I heard this song and I got an idea for a one shot! Puckleberry as always ; )


By Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Noah Puckerman had had enough of the party. Everyone was acting normal, like Rachel Berry hadn't tried to commit suicide last week. He wasn't sure why it was bothering him so much. It wasn't like he and Berry were friends. They'd dated, so what? Who hadn't Puck dated? The party was at Brittany Pierce's house this time. The whole glee club was here; hell, even Berry was here. She acted distant, but sociable nonetheless. Puck wasn't even sure why Britt had invited her. He supposed it was because everyone wanted Rachel to feel she fit in, just like anyone of them. So why was he outside? Because the suicide jokes had started, Berry had initiated it, trying to lighten the mood. He had grabbed a few Buds, rolled his eyes and made his way to the backyard. Rachel had seen Puck leave, her smile quickly disappearing. She excused herself and followed him.

Drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

I'm pissed cause you came around

Why don't' you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain

And I can't help you fix yourself

You're making me insane

All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

"Noah, what are you doing out here alone?" Rachel began. She noticed the empty bottles. He shook his head.

"What the fuck, Berry? How can you joke about that shit?" Puck was pissed. Rachel felt confused. She thought they were all friends and that her mistake would just go away.

"What 'shit', Noah?" Her attempt to kid was wasted on him. He stared at her blankly.

I tried to help you once

Against my own advice

I saw you going down

But you never realized

That you're drowning in the water

So I offered you my hand

Compassions in my nature

Tonight is our last stand

Puck had been there, he'd seen her cut her wrists. She was on the bleachers at the football field. It had happened right after Finn broke up with her that last time. Puck had consoled her, taken her to the hospital and tried to help her. He'd told her that Hudson wasn't worth it. Still, she'd done it.

"Why the hell do you think I wear these sweat bands on my wrists? It sure the fuck ain't to look cool!" He shouted, holding up his arms for her to see, "It's because I slit my own goddamn wrists after Beth was taken from me! Suicide isn't cool or a laughing matter! It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You should probably go home. I got better shit to do than talk to you." He hadn't meant to hurt her, he really cared for her. Even if it took her almost offing herself, to see it. He turned away from her about to go back inside when the tone of her voice made him stop.

Though her voice quivered, there was strength in her words,

"And just why the fuck does it matter to you, Noah? If you have better 'shit' to do than listen to me? Huh?" She wanted him to hurt, just as she was hurting.

Her words rang in his ears, and the loudness had gotten the attention of a few gleekers who were trying to get a breath of air. The party had been in full swing as the remaining glee clubbers had been outdoors arguing. Puck looked livid. Ignoring their growing audience, he stepped closer to Rachel.

"Why the fuck does it matter to me? Because I care about you, Rachel. I don't' want to lose you like I lost Beth." He felt like the biggest vagina at that statement. Rachel's eyebrows shot up, getting lost in her new bangs.

Kurt had apparently heard what Puck had said because he started whispering incessantly to Mercedes. She then spread the juiciness she'd heard to Quinn who was standing on her other side.

"Why don't you kiss her and let's go back inside. I'm bored." Santana interjected as Brittany hopped up and down clapping.

"Why the fuck don't you guys get a life and step?" Puck said through his gritted teeth.

"You are such a shit eating loser! If you don't kiss her, I will!" Santana retorted.

Mercedes and Quinn had already grabbed Kurt and gone indoors. Brittany giggled as she thread her arm through Santana's and dragged the Latina into the house as well.

Once their friends were gone, Rachel looked at Puck. "You want to be with me? After all these months? Even though I'm a complete mess?" She was excited and confused.

"Babe, I'm a mess too. The way I figure it, we belong together. C'mere, Rach." he pulled the petite brunette close. She allowed the gesture. Her heart began to beat faster. Puck lifted her chin, looked deeply into her brown eyes, and kissed her as passionately as he ever had. Rachel was so happy, tears of joy trailed down her cheeks. Puck could taste them. He smiled, pulling away from her.

A week ago, she had wanted to die because she thought Finn had been her one true love. He had broken up with her and she'd felt she had nothing to live for. Now? She felt more alive than ever because Noah Puckerman loved her. He hadn't said it in those words; but she knew Noah well enough to know that's what he meant. She took a risk and told him what she was feeling.

"I love you, Noah." She whispered as she kissed him again. He smiled serenely.

"I love you too, Rach."

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel