(Disclaimer: Alvin doesn't care about disclaimers.

However, his sponsor CosmicKitten89 advised him to put that she doesn't own him nor anything else that appears on the show, even though she actually did come up with the parody versions of the songs on her own.)

Alvin: YEEES! It's another episode of Alvin's

Brittany: And Brittany's

Alvin: WHAAAT?

Brittany: I made you change the title, remember?

Alvin: Ok, well, the reason I'm late is because it was karaoke night at the local bar, and I had to be there by popular demand. Unfortunately, the new bartender was not so pleased with my colorful renditions of "Oops I Did It Again" and "Toxic".

Brittany: He got thrown out.

Alvin: It sucks that I can't do karaoke there anymore, but man, getting thrown out… is that awesome or what? Speaking of which, I haven't heard from any of you, my adoring fans, about your experiences with singing my dirty lyrics in public…

Brittany: Also, Alvin hasn't been able to do the show twice a week like he promised (snickers)

Alvin: The reason for that is, because, well, you see…

Brittany: (giggles)

Alvin: (huddles arms over his chest)

Brittany: Show them!

Alvin: NO! I followed up on last week's dare, but I never agreed to actually show them!

Brittany: (tickles Alvin's armpits) Tickle, tickle!

Alvin: Nice try! I'm not ticklish!

Brittany: Not there anyway.

(singsong voice) But I know where…

(touches Alvin down there)

Alvin: AAH! Ok, ok, I'll show them! (moves his arms and strips off his shirt to reveal the implants)

Brittany: I can't believe you actually…

Alvin: It cost me half a million bucks too! I asked Simon to do it for cheaper, but he refuses to touch me with a scalpel without a surgeon's license… anyway, that nasty Adam has been emailing me again, bragging about how many more reviews than me he's got! Well, I've been watching his lame song parodies, which are not the least bit dirty, by the way, and, well, I'm afraid that he's challenging me to beat them with my own dirty parodies! I was listening to his rendition of Styx's "Mr. Roboto" and, well, I couldn't help but think… (snickers) well, I'll just sing it for you… ahem:

Domo arigato, Dr. Robotnik,


You're wondering who I am

(Ivo Ivo, his name is Ivo)

Robotnik or Eggman

(Ivo Ivo, first name Ivo)

From U.S. or Japan

(Ivo Ivo, from where is Ivo?)

Or from Sonic's land!

(jams out syntho-guitar music)

I've got a secret

That I've been hiding

Need I go on?

The reason why I

Am chasing after

That wretched hedgehog

My head is pounding

My blood is boiling

I think I'll be gone

From hypertension

Or an aneurysm

If I fail to

Capture that hedgehog…

To catch that hedgehog…!

Alvin: Thank you, thank you!

Brittany: That was lame!

Alvin: What…! WHY?

Brittany: No explicit dirtiness!

Alvin: Then Adam should like it!

Brittany: Still lame…

Alvin: All right, fine!

To capture that hedgehog…

To fuck that hedgehog!

Brittany: One four letter word does not a dirty parody make.

Alvin: Whatever. I gotta move on to the next parody of his, and this one's gonna be dirty as shit!

I told the sex doctor I wanted sex with you

I told the sex doctor I wanted to fuck you

I told the sex doctor, he told me what you'll do,

He said:

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

I told the sex doctor you didn't like my sex

I told the sex doctor you thought it wasn't nice

I told the sex doctor, he gave me this advice,

Make you say:

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

You were refusing sex with me

Just like a fucking miser,

And then you'd tease with pictures of your boobs

But now I've got a friend

Who's, on these matters, so much wiser,

And he told me how to please your pubes

(Which is to make you say):

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

Ooh, aah, oo, oo, ahh, yes, yes, gimme gimme bang bang!

Beat that, Adam!

Brittany: Aren't you going to answer the viewers' requests now?

Alvin: Of course! I could never forget my fans!

From The Chipette Protector:


Now Alvin, because last week Brittany made u into a dog, u have to hypnotize Brittany into a dog or a cat. Ur choice, but first u have to make Brittany freeze while in a funny position for one review and u get to reposition her too!

How about sing 'Poker Face'

Now for some questions:

Both - Now, would u want to be a vampire again after seeing what it was like before?

Both - Would both of you let Melvin and Whitney take over the show if Simon didn't stop u?

Alvin - What does it feel like when Brittany is controlling u? And have u ever hypnotized Brittany and what did u make her do? (Besides the dare I just gave u.)

Brittany - Does he fight less now since u gave him that command?


Alvin: Poker Face! With pleasure!

I like to hold them at least seven at a time

A hand of girls I play them any way I like

I don't let them queens see I've got others in my hand

For if they do I must shuffle and draw again

Whoa, who-oa-oh!

Whoa, o-oa-o-a!

'Nuff on that now,

Not what it's about!

Can't stick your,

Can't stick your,

Cannot stick you

Pecker in my face

(Cuz you're a girl and you don't have one)

Can't make my,

Can't make my,

Can't make my face a

Pecker face

(Bet you really wish you had one)

P-p-p-pecker face,

P-p-pecker face!

I wanna roll with her

That's quite a pair she's got

I'll add her to my harem

Cuz she's super hot!

Vaginal sex is not the same

With a condom

If there's a full house

In the cards,

Well, that's the luck of draw

Whoa, who-oa-oh

Whoa, who-oa-o-a

She'll think I'm hot

When I show her what I've got

Can't stick your

Can't stick your

Cannot stick your

Pecker in my face

(Cuz you're a girl and you don't have one)

Can't make my

Can't make my

Can't make my face a

Pecker face

(Bet you really wish you had one)

P-p-p-p-pecker face,

P-p-pecker face!

Brittany: That's an anthem to sexism!

Alvin: Freeze!

(Brittany freezes)

(Alvin twists her into a position with her butt stuck in the air and the panties pulled down, looking ready for sex.)

Alvin: Now, Britt, if you could be a vampire again, would you? I certainly would, if not for the being evil and hypnotized part!

Brittany: I agree.

Now, Brittany, since you're so catty, you're going to be a cat!

Brittany: Meow.

Alvin: Good kitty. (Pets Brittany on the head)

Now, I sure as hell wouldn't let those dark assholes take over, Simon or no Simon!

Yeah, I hypnotized her before; it actually feels pretty good to be hypnotized. She does it, after all, with her smoldering seductiveness.

Sexy Bitch says:


Ha what? Oh well.

Winddragon Eternal says:

LOL, sounds like the both of you are having so much fun!

Alvin, remember that dog suit I asked you about a while back then? Well, I dare you to wear it and do some role-playing while you're doing it with Brittany!

And Brittany, while you're being hypnotized into whatever Alvin wants you to do, see if you can get him to cover himself with peanut butter and lick it off of him? Sounds very evil!

For your song selections, how about Baby One More Time for Brittany and Love Games for Alvin?

Oh yeah, got a few questions for you:

Alvin, how are you able to air your show without alerting any censorhip boards? And how do you think this show's going to affect your carreer as a rockstar?

Britt, do you still keep that princess outfit you wore during your race around the world? If so, what does Alvin think when he sees you wearing it?

Do the both of you have a dream artist you would like to collaborate with someday?

And if the Darkmunks and Darkettes ever decide to pay you a visit again, feel free to give my OC Phelan a call. He's probably still on his quest to find and vanquish evil, but I'll do my best to contact him if you want him on the show (and he still has a crush on Brittany, too)

Alvin: Well, Brittany is still stuck in that sexy pose… (runs out and comes back in a dog suit) Doggy having sexy with catty! Isn't that cross-bestiality sexy?
Brittany: Meow! (Like a cat in heat)

Alvin: Woof! (jumps on top of Brittany)

(Brittany makes a sound like a female cat at sexual climax)

Alvin: Simon once made me watch this boring nature documentary – well, for once it wasn't boring! Gave me good ideas for doggie role-playing! Ass to ass, stuck together, like this!

(Alvin and Brittany are in a canine sexual pose. Brittany claws Alvin to get him away from her.)

Alvin: Oww! Well, she is a cat, after all. Well, since she's the one who's hypnotized, she's not going to make me wear peanut butter…

Brittany: Maaaahhhh….

Alvin: Well, that's cat lingo for peanut butter! Better go get some! (runs off stage and returns with a super size jar of peanut butter.) Theo must have left this here, hehe… (begins to apply it like sunscreen. Brittany purrs and begins to lick it off before Alvin is even done convering himself).

All right Brittany, time to sing Britney!

Brittany: Meow! Ahem, all right:

Oh baby baby…

Oh baby baby…

Baby, baby,

How was I supposed to know…

Baby, baby,

I'd turn out to be such a ho…

I need

To be banged on daily

That is just the way that

I-I was made…

My horniness is killing me

I must confess, I'm humping things

Without a dick, I'm losing my mind

It would be sublime…

If you would fuck me one more time!

Baby, baby,

The reason I breathe is 'cause

I got your cum pumping orgasms

Oh pretty baby, without that I'm all messed up

It's like heroin withdrawal

I know

That it's hard on you too

So let us strike a deal and

Make it easier on the both of us

My horniness is killing me

I must confess, I'm humping things

Without a dick, I'm losing my mind

It would be sublime…

If you would fuck me one more time!

Alvin: Excellent! Now, I got to sing LoveGame!

Let's have some fun

And get real sick

I'm wanting you to ride

On my disco dick

I wanna fuck you

But you're ugly, from Timbuktu

AIDS infected

And stupid

But my ass got injected by Cupid

With hormonal rush

Hormonal rush

To make me want

A SexGame

Just strip down and touch me

Just foreplay for a minute

Baby just three seconds is enough

For my erection to quit it

Let's have some fun

You'll make me sick

But I still want you to ride

On my disco dick

Don't think too much

The condom fits

I'm wanting you to ride

On my disco dick

Let's play a SexGame

Play a SexGame

Do you want to spread HIV

Cause I won't let you

But we can still

Play a SexGame

Brittany: Good.

Alvin: Well, it's shown so late at night, you know, the only time that nasty stuff is allowed to be shown, so the censorship boards don't really care.

As for my rock career, well, I think it will establish me as an adult alternative rocker as opposed to a kiddie music player! I'm growing up, people, and so is my music! I think that dirty parodies is the way to go for me!

Brittany: Meaah- well, yes, I kept it because it made for a pretty Halloween costume, but later I began to see it as a symbol of female oppression, so I burned it. I had outgrown it anyway.

Alvin: Hmm, who would I love to work with…

Brittany: Rebecca Black.

Alvin: You've got to be kidding me!

Brittany: No, I'm not.

Alvin: Oh, right. You're hypnotized. Of course you'd like that mindless retardedness…

As for me… (sniff) the Prince of Pop, but his cruel untimely death took that away from me! Well, at least Prince is still alive…

Ok, I'll call Phelan if the Darks (laughs) ever come back. But he'd better keep his hands off my Brittany!

Chipmunkfanantic says:

Alright I got a good one for ya Britteny spears singing I love rock n roll

Alvin: Britney Spears does not sing that! Try again… You can submit for next week, which – did I mention that next week is 80s week?

Knk4891 says:

The Full House part cracked me up.

How old were you guys when you lost your virginity, and who did you lose it to? (sorry if this has already been asked)

Alvin: Well, Brittany and I were nine, almost ten, around the time the series ended, which was no coincidence, to tell you the truth… Chipmunks mature faster sexually than people, you know, so it was only natural I do it with her at that age, she being the only female chipmunk around who would be willing to do that at such a young age. I knew I was a virgin, and I knew she was a virgin because I heard her scream when her cherry broke. It was right after we shot Chip Tracy, actually. Brittany got so jealous when she saw Jeanette kiss me that she wanted me to do it with her to make sure to seal our relationship with each other. And – well, one day they drew the curtains and caught us having a quickie, and, well, that was it for our show! Luckily, it didn't make headline news…

Mr happyface says:

Theo's back! I just wanted to remind Alvin that he still has to drink a gallon of his own cum!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I wanted to update you guys on me and Eleanor! She loved the necklace and our relationship is INCREDIBLE! We're doing it 3 times a day now! and she gives the ABSOLUTE BEST blowjobs! AND I LOVE HER BOOBIES! They're sweeter than her cooking!

Oh yea and I dare Brittany to get a reverse liposuction. That's right she has to make herself FAT!

Alvin: I already did that; it was mixed with al-you know, that CHO chemical! Pay attention – oh, it's Theo; what am I expecting?

Good for you. Even Brittany and I aren't that busy…hear that, Britt? We can't let them be the horny ones in the family! That title belongs to us! No one has sex more often than us!

Brittany: Ok, meow…purr…

Alvin: Well, you can blowjob me later. I forgot about this one last message from the Secret Inquirer.

"Well Alvin, you certainly put on quite a spectacle last time xD Now how did Brittany's panites smell, and Brittany, whats the kinkiest thing you've ever done with him?"

Dare: "Alvin, since you said you like it you have to line up all 3 chipettes and smell each of their buttholes for 1 minute each, after each Chipette you must give us a report on how she smelled and how high you would rate her natural scent on a scale of 1-10, the winning Chipette will get then their anus licked by you, and Brittany, once he's done you have to put a vibrator deep in your vagina and try to hold still until you orgasm, you can still moan, talk and answer questions but you can't flinch from pleasure, if you do move more than 2 inches from the vibrator sensation then you have to sniff Alvin's butt wether your into that or not" :D

Alvin: Well, I'm sorry, but only one of the Chipettes is here. I tried to get the others on set this week, especially after that dare to get brother to brother action, but I-well, if you have any good ideas on how to get them on set for eighties week, then PM me!

That's it for tonight's show! And remember to submit your favorite 80s hits for 80s week!

Brittany: Meow!