Alright, updates will be sporadic at best. I live in Northern Alabama, where the tornadoes hit, and while my house is fine (power was just gone for a bit), I'm helping a lot of my friends who've lost their houses… or worse. Plus, I'm moving to Germany at the beginning of June, so updates will be scarce until mid-June/mid-July.
Thanks for all the kind words, they really encouraged me. I mean, what's the point of writing if not to share with others?
I'm glad I was able to express at least a small portion of Neji and Naruto's complicated relationship. It's not just another cliché flat romance in my head, and I tried to show that, I guess I partly succeeded c: Grr. The formatting on the last chapter was fucked up, but I'm trying to get better, so please bear with me.
She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things out frustration,
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard…
The Script- 'For the First Time'
It'd been a long day. He'd just come back from Neji's doctor's office, and the news he'd been given wasn't good news at all. Normally, Naruto just gave the doctor an incentive to up Neji's dosage, and that was fine. But after hearing the way Neji'd been acting, his doctor said sedating him wouldn't work anymore.
He'd have to be sent to treatment.
Naruto shook his head angrily. Neji didn't have to go anywhere. Neji was fine. He just needed to find him a new doctor, and new medication, and everything would be fine again. That man was a quack anyway.
Naruto rubbed his face, and then stopped, feeling the scrape of metal against his skin. He twisted the ring around his finger, examining it. There was no point in wearing it, really- the engagement had been called off months ago- but every once in a while he still liked to take it out and look at it.
As he turned the ring, the little voice in the back of his head piped up. No, it said, it won't be fine. It's not fine. It'll never be like it was.
Naruto shook his head again. Yes, it will. Neji would get better and he could re-propose and they'd be back to normal again, and everything would be fine. Neji would smile at him again, and he'd stop freaking out and just be Neji again, and everything would be fine.
Somehow, Naruto couldn't bring himself to fully believe that.
And we don't know how, how we got into this mess is it gods test,
Someone help us cause we're doing our best…
Neji sat on the couch.
The television was on, but he wasn't focusing, instead his eyes kept wandering back to the door, then his watch, then the door again. Naruto was late. He hadn't called, and he didn't tell Neji before he left that he had something going on after work. Had something happened? Was he okay?
Neji picked up the phone in his lap and with shaking fingers, began to dial the first six digits of Naruto's number. Then he stopped. What if Naruto had gone out for drinks or something after work? Neji winced, remembering how Naruto hated when Neji called him while he was out with friends. Neji wondered why that was.
Was Naruto embarrassed of him? No, Neji shook his head, of course not. He just didn't like being interrupted. Still a bit unsure, Neji decided to distract himself. He reached under the couch and pulled out an old photo album. Since Naruto didn't like seeing them- he even burned some of them- the week after Neji got out of the hospital he immediately began hiding them all over the house.
Neji was flipping through it, smiling gently, when the sounds of someone loudly approaching the door made him jump. He'd managed to slide the album under the couch just as the door creaked open. Naruto stumbled in and clumsily locked the door behind him. Neji's eyes narrowed. He could practically smell the liquor coming out of Naruto's pores. He stood up.
"Naruto? Are you drunk?"
Stupid question, Neji immediately scolded himself. Of course he is.
"No," Naruto replied, giving Neji a very serious look, "are you?"
Neji rolled his eyes and walked over to where Naruto was fighting with his coat. After helping Naruto free himself, Neji began to head to the kitchen to make Naruto some coffee, but an arm wrapped itself around his waist and stopped him. He was spun around, and just as he was about to ask Naruto what was wrong, he found a pair of lips pressing insistently into his.
Okay, now something was definitely up. Neji tried desperately to think about what could've brought this on in Naruto- he wasn't a horny drunk, really- but found his thinking quite impaired. We haven't done this in… in… Neji was suddenly struck with the thought that it was terribly, terribly sad that he couldn't even remember the last time he'd had sex with Naruto.
"Stop it." Naruto murmured into the kiss.
Neji pulled back and looked at him. "Stop what?"
Naruto grabbed Neji by the hips and hoisted him, forcing Neji to wrap his legs around his waist. "Stop thinking so much. I'm doing this because I want to. It's been forever."
His questions answered, Neji could do nothing but moan quietly as Naruto attacked his neck. Naruto carried him all the way to their bedroom, letting him down gently once they reached the bed. Neji watched through half-lidded eyes as Naruto licked his lips then practically leapt on him, capturing Neji's lips with a ferocity that left him breathless.
Naruto grabbed Neji's hands and ran his fingers down them. Neji looked at him, confused, until Naruto growled and said, "get your ring and put it on."
Neji stretched himself out and opened the drawer, rummaging around for a few seconds- occasionally dropping the ring because Naruto was using his mouth to express his impatience- eventually retrieving the ring and sliding it back onto his finger. He watched as Naruto fumbled with his pants, unbuttoning them and unzipping his fly, and decided to get rid of his own.
Quickly divesting himself of his sweatpants and T-shirt, Neji reached into the open drawer and pulled out a foil tube- still full- and slapped it into Naruto's hand. Wasting no time, Naruto coated his fingers with the clear, slippery gel before sliding one slowly into Neji.
It had been a long time. Neji winced, shifting, trying to get used to the feeling of being penetrated after so long. Naruto worked in another finger, rocking them in and out of Neji, before curling them and striking a forgotten bundle of nerves tucked into the folds of Neji's passage. Neji's back arched off the bed and he let out a long, low moan. Before he even had the chance to lower his quivering body Naruto mounted him and sheathed himself in one hard thrust.
Neji closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Slowly, the burning began to ebb away, replaced by an incredible feeling of fullness Neji had almost forgotten existed. Naruto pulled out slowly, then thrust in again; he kept going just like that, at a slow, but firm pace, interlacing his fingers with Neji's.
Neji began to hum. It wasn't any particular tune, but the tempo and pitch changed with how fast and/or hard Naruto was going at the time. He felt more than heard Naruto chuckled into his shoulder.
"You're humming." Naruto gave him a peck on the cheek and buried his face in Neji's shoulder again. "I haven't heard that in a while. I missed it."
Neji hummed in understanding. Naruto picked up the pace, and began pounding into Neji like a man possessed. Neji's hums turned into sharp, high, staccato notes, and suddenly his body froze and he came with a soft moan.
"Ne-jiii," Naruto whined into his collarbone. "I can't-"
What Naruto couldn't do Neji never found out, because with a small cry Naruto locked up and warmth flooded his insides. Naruto pulled put and collapsed next to him, and they laid like that, quietly, hands still joined.
"Neji." Naruto's tone made Neji open his eyes and turn to look at him. Naruto's look was serious, his voice lacking all traces of drunkenness, his eyes gleaming in the dark room.
"Let's get married. Let's put the engagement back on."
Neji's eyes widened, but he found himself speaking before he could even think.
Naruto scooted closer to him and pulled Neji into him, curling himself around him. And buried deep in Naruto's arms, surrounded by his scent and knowing that the ring on his finger finally had meaning again, Neji fell asleep.
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.
Naruto stood by the window. The morning sunlight streamed in through the white curtains, and made Neji almost seem to glow. Naruto smiled, marveling at how beautiful he was. It'd been forever since he'd just looked at Neji, and now he did he could remember why they fell in love in the first place. Now, while Neji was sleeping, he looked calm and at rest, and Naruto couldn't help but look.
But it wouldn't last. Naruto knew Neji hadn't taken his pills yesterday, and while he knew he should, he just couldn't bring himself to go get Neji's pills and a glass of water and leave them by the bed like he always did. Even though he knew when Neji woke up he could either be lucid or completely paranoid and borderline violent, he couldn't bring himself to dope Neji up again.
He folded his arms and directed his gaze to the sun just peeking over the tops of buildings. In his own weird way, he guessed it was his way of coming to terms with Neji's illness, but what he was going to do about it he had no idea. He turned back to Neji just as the light hit Neji's ring and scattered into a million pieces, little stars dancing all over the ceiling and walls.
A year ago he used to wake up every morning just to see that sight, then go brew coffee, a pep in his step because he knew that lying in his bed was his other half. When had he stopped? Why had he stopped? When did it get so bad that neither of them could even remember the last time they had sex?
Naruto wandered out of the room and into the kitchen. He figured if he was going to think, he might as well think over coffee. A knock on the door interrupted him. Opening it, he was greeted by an unfamiliar, but not unknown sight- a tall man, arm outstretched, with long brown hair and milky white eyes.
A Hyuuga messenger.
Naruto accepted the letter held in the man's outstretched hand. When his offer for coffee was denied- as it always was- Naruto gave a slight nod of the head to the man's stiff bow and wandered back inside.
Coffee forgotten, he sat on the couch. The flowery script on the outside showed him the letter came from Hiashi himself; opening it, he quickly scanned the contents, his eyes widening.
This was not good.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when, you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know?
Look, smut! Badly written smut, but smut none the less- and practice makes perfect, the number if times I've written smut is in the single digits- a bit of relief, if you will, for the next chapter will be quite dramatic.
Hugs and fishes,
Hanai-Kun- Thanks! Yay, I'm glad Naruto came across as I wanted him to c: That's the point. Naruto's unintentionally created a little vacuum, a little world, in a sense. I might be exploring that though c:
Yea, I've always had a morbid interest in mental conditions, so I figured I better write about what I love c:
Fivel Mousekawitz- Thanks c: Paranoia is always such a fun emotion to work with. And thanks again c:
Breseis25- Yea, I've been around 'ill' people too :/ Truthfully, I want to see how this ends as well. I have some ideas, and I can at least say it will be… interesting. Naruto's hanging on to Neji is so complicated, but it is mostly the nostalgia. Neji does care for him a lot, that's what makes it worse.
Thanks for taking the time to review, everyone. I really appreciate it c: