Disclaimer: I own nothing save that which I imagine I do. Beyond that… it's up to the nice people in the white coats to sort out.

Warning, Story Key: This is an AU (Alternate Universe) story mixing Ranma with at the very least the Gold Digger Series, possibly more. Additionally, this story may contain character death & birth, cursing, daffiness, waffiness, sexually provocative scenes, absolute silliness, out of character characters, beef jerky, fanon, flying pigs, inappropriate behavior (I leave this, as with most things, to your personal beliefs), time travel, over the top acting, bashing, and mashing. To put it simply, it may contain just about anything that could offend someone in some way I cannot foresee or warn you about. Note I did not say it would, just that it may!

If at any point in time in reading this story if you feel that something has crossed a line you do not feel comfortable or that the characters have acted in a way that lessens your enjoyment of the tale, or you simply do not like where things are going, I invite you to cease reading. I on the other hand will continue to add to this tale so long as my personal enjoyment in writing it continues and my muse does not go on strike as she has many times in the past. Thankfully she is fond of chicken and ginger sauce and thus comes back often enough to keep me happy. One thing it will not contain is lousy freaking sparkly vampires (I hope!).

AGAIN I POINT OUT THAT THIS STORY IS NOT CANON, it's not meant to be so don't expect it to be! If you are expecting such, I again mention that this story may not be for you and that you might want to choose to spend your time doing one of the following: Spend time with a loved one. Plot out your own story (With or without a loved one's help). Taking in a movie with a few friends. (I suggest something without a love story in it, but that's my preference.) Playing the stock market. Playing with sock puppets. Take your dog for a walk. (Not so advisable with some other types of pets.)

If none of those appeal to you, find something that does!

I also warn you Ranma will be MUCH stronger than in canon. Why, because that is how I want to write him for this tale. This is not to say he will be all powerful, just that he will be stronger than most of the people he will meet in the beginning of this story due to trials he has been put through off screen; some of which will be revealed in time.

For those who fans of the traditional fiancée's THIS STORY IS NOT FOR YOU! I can also say this will NOT be a Britanny & Ranma matchup, nor will it be a Were-Ranma story *Unless you count his ability to change into a girl when splashed with water as having a were-form, which I do not*.

To those who are diehard 'Julia is the best fighter ever', you may take umbrage at how I portray her skills for though I agree she is a warrior worth mention, she is nowhere near the mythic levels people sometimes portray her to be. After all, she was almost defeated by Rook who was in turn defeated by Sheila (by accident, but she still beat him) with ease. (That is if my memory is serving me correctly and I am not confusing a fanfiction with the actual Gold Digger story. What can I say, I'm getting old and my memory sucks. Or maybe it always sucked. Beats me, I forget.)

For ease of conversations it is going to be assumed everyone speaks the same language (As they often do in many anime.) Should it be needed to show one that is not known by all present in the scene it will be noted as so. (Hopefully without creating inconsistencies. NOTE: Speaking may not mean reading.)

Oh, I also will not be naming the chapters beyond their numbers. Why? I don't want to have to think them up and you can't make me! My muse may make me… so if you see one blame her.


(After you read the chapter of course.)


If during the reading of this tale you happen to find any incomplete or half-finished sentences, spelling errors, grammar corrections, or things that just don't make sense please feel free to send me a private message so I might fix them as I do not have a beta reader for this tale. I thank you in advance for your efforts to make me less human. (Private Messages can be sent via my profile.)

Final Note: Flames for this story will be removed from the review list so don't bother posting them. Constructive criticisms are still welcomed though.

All this being said… ON WITH THE TALE!

Oh wait, I need to put in the story key, and then on with the tale! Assuming you even want to after all that rambling you had to wade through above including this little bit right here!

Story Key

'Italics' = Thoughts

Bold Words = Stressed Thoughts Or Words; Loud Sounds

#Words# = Panda Signs

#-Words-# = Secret Tongue/Hand Signals/Other Hidden Means Of Communication

–Words– = Sounds

^Words^ = Chinese/Japanese/Other Language For The Scene.

ooO ~ Ooo = Perspective Or Time Change Within A Scene Or Location

-#-#-#- = Scene Or Location Change

*-*-*-* = Letter Or Other Pertinent Information That Does Not Fit Into The Above Categories.

{-} = Radio/Phone/T.V. Communications


Chapter One


Nerima Japan, Unknown Warehouse

The sounds of an aged voice droning on in a rhythmic fashion were the first thing that impacted upon Ranma's slowly waking senses. Next came his sense of smell as two strong scents vied for his attention – those of food preparation spices and meditation incense. Lastly came his vision, though this was still slow in completely returning to normal for he saw only a fuzzy blackness through which a distant light was trying to make its way.

Lying wherever he was, and he knew he was lying for he could feel the cold surface upon which he rested, Ranma wondered where he was and why he seemed sluggish in not just body but mind. The last memories he had were of roof hopping on his way back to the Tendo Dojo after having been catapulted almost the whole way to Furinken by his supposedly only true fiancée all because he'd been trying to keep the old letch from stealing her panties… panties which he then of course got blamed for trying to take.

Attempting to sit up Ranma found his body unresponsive. He felt nothing holding him in place yet he could not bring his body to move even a muscle save for being able to open his still blurry eyes. The feeling of someone running their hands over his chest and legs made it abundantly clear he was not wearing a shirt or pants. In fact, if the cold breeze he felt around his waist was any indication he was without a stitch of clothing.

"Airen no struggle. Soon all be better." An all too familiar voice coo'd in his left ear.

Feeling the sensation one of Shampoo's hands caressing his cheek while her other trailed across his chest slowly going lower Ranma again tried to sit up but with the same results.

"Soon Airen be all Shampoo's just as should be." Shampoo purred as she caressed his nether regions rather possessively electing a reaction that Ranma couldn't prevent his body from making despite his revulsion at being taken advantage of. "Soon Shampoo and airen do bump bump just as Shampoo dream."

Trying to voice his anger at Shampoo's overly familiar fondling the pig tailed martial artist found he'd been robbed not only of his ability to move but of his capacity to speak as well.

"Airen no try to talk." The lusty Amazon whispered into his ear between nibbles. "Great grandmother say dust she use to get airen here keep you from moving for long time."

Ceasing her chanting Cologne spoke, "Shampoo, step away from son-in-law this instant! I will not have you smudging the paint on your body and messing up this spell! Now go stand at the end as I told you while I finish preparing son-in-law here."

He felt Shampoo give his cheek a soft kiss, "Airen soon be with Shampoo and we finally be happy. No try to fight ritual or great grandmother say it hurt."

"Do not make me remind you again!" the older woman barked making Shampoo's hand on his privates squeeze unexpectedly before withdrawing as she stepped away.

He could sense her moving away until she stood someplace near his feet.

"I know you are eager but once this is finished you shall have plenty of time to enjoy your husband child."

"Yes great grandmother. But Shampoo can hardly wait."

"You must learn patience."

"How long that take?" Shampoo asked and then giggled.

Whatever Cologne said next Ranma didn't understand for it was said in their native tongue, but it was obvious from the tone that Shampoo was being scolded harshly just as he knew the girl's whispered response showed her contrition.

Thinking that since neither had their attention on him Ranma again tried to make his body do anything other than just lay there. He had as much luck as previous attempts, which is to say none.

To his right he heard Cologne chuckle darkly, "Relax son-in-law, there's no point in wasting energy you'll need later when you consummate your marriage to my great granddaughter. Besides, even your miraculous recuperative abilities will do you no good in overcoming the drugs that are in your system until well after I am done."

Ranma managed a growl.

"You must give credit to the young Kuno girl for her botany skill yes?"

Her comment left him blinking in confusion over what did Kodachi had to do with his current predicament.

"It is her powders, or rather a derivative of one of them, that holds you captive. I dare say that some of my fellow elders have suggested the possibility of using the Xi Fa Xiang Gao technique upon the girl as she might make excellent addition to the tribe once her madness is tempered by a loss of memory. Personally I'd not welcome her bloodline into our people for fear the madness that runs through her family would be passed down to her progeny."

His vision almost clear. Ranma directed the best glare he could at the old ghoul as she entered his view holding a bowl she'd been crushing something up in. He watched as she dipped a strangely symbol etched feather into it as she began to trace intricate lines across his shirtless chest. Where the feather touched his body it left behind an oddly tingling sensation not unlike when his arm or leg fell asleep.

Almost as if she could read his thoughts the aged matriarch let out an amused cackle, "You can think of escape all you wish son-in-law or of rescue. But I assure you no one is coming for none of your acquaintances either knows where you are or that you are in need of assistance. And since it has only been about an hour since your departure from the Tendo home they will no doubt believe you simply have chosen to take your time in returning as you have so many times before."

"And after great grandmother finish ritual airen no longer care to return!" Shampoo added from where she stood at his feet. Looking at her a now blushing Ranma immediately flicked his eyes away for the purple haired Amazon was nude – her body covered in oddly drawn symbols. Ones he was sure we're now being drawn on him as well.

"My great granddaughter is mostly correct son-in-law."

"But you said…"

"I said the ritual of Tah Seng Mah would bind you two together." Cologne said firmly. "That it would make it so son-in-law here would no longer deny your love and this will be so."

"But it will do much more than that great granddaughter. Much more."

"What else it do?"

"It will share his knowledge with you as you will share yours with him."

"Shampoo no have secrets for airen so what big deal?"

"For one, you'll finally learn to speak Japanese correctly instead of sounding like a half-wit!" The elder of the two spoke harshly to her younger counter-part, her hands never stopping in their painting. "Why you have not taken it upon yourself to do so in the time we've been here I will never know but if it had been out of sheer stubbornness to learn things of the outside world it is one I shall endeavor to break as knowledge, any knowledge, should be sought out by a perspective Elder so as to bring greater glory to our people."

"Shampoo no learn 'cause she think it make her sound too too cute."

"Be that as it may, once this ritual is done and has run its course you'll have a proper understanding of the Japanese language just as your husband will have one of ours."

"Aiyah! That be very very helpful! What else ritual do?"

Ranma too was curious.

"The ritual of Tah Seng Mah is ancient, older than perhaps even our tribe. Its true origins are shrouded in mystery, but its original purpose is not."

"What purpose?"

Ranma felt the tip of the feather pause in its word, the hand holding it shaking for a brief moment. "The old way is not nearly as benevolent for it was used as a means to drain a captive of their life. The sum total of their life, and give it to another."

"That very bad… we no do that to airen right?" Shampoo asked worriedly.

"Indeed we do not. To do so to any is punishable by death for the pain of the pain caused by such a use of the Tah Seng Mah is beyond imagining."

"Aiyah… must be very very very bad if punished by death."

Cologne nodded grimly. "The older the victim, the longer the process would take so that the recipient of the knowledge did not become overwhelmed by the memories of another. As time went on under the affects of the spell the victim would forget what was taken, their body weakening, while everything that made them who they are, both mentally and spiritually, was given over to the designated recipient."

"One of our Tribes contributions to the ritual is the protective runes I've drawn upon you and I now draw upon son-in-law." Cologne's voice rose angrily. "That is why it is imperative you do not mar them!"

Shampoo's hand, which had been tracing one of the runes along the other stiffened, both of them shooting out leaving the girl standing like a T.

Seeing her granddaughter would now be more careful Cologne went back to her work, "Should only one of your symbols be intact that person would be the one protected and the other, regardless of whom it was, would be the one subjected to the true Tah Seng Mah."

"How this help Shampoo get airen again if only share knowledge?"

Cologne sighed, "The symbols I have drawn upon you both also alter the original purpose of the ritual in a slight way. They change it to a equal sharing of knowledge. I have further altered them to a less equal sharing giving you more than it will give him. This change will also exchange emotion, from you to him, after a fashion."

"What that mean?"

"What it means great granddaughter, is son-in-law will know the love you have for him and it will overwrite any other emotions he has for you. The same of any feelings you have towards anyone in your life."

"You mean if Shampoo no like kitchen destroyer airen no like either?"


"That good!" Shampoo exclaimed than calmly added. "But airen will know feelings are false, he will fight."

Cologne's voice practically oozed with self-satisfaction as she spoke, "Not if he doesn't remember, which he will not after I use the Xi Fa Xiang Gao technique to remove his memory of this event. To son-in-law it will seem normal as his emotions slowly shift towards you. Oh he may question why he is suddenly remembering things that are not his to recall, and likely seek to know why, but I am not worried. The reason for this is we will have time before that part of the spell becomes pronounced enough for him to question it; at least not on the conscious level for your memories, just as his to you, will come at first in dreams."

The younger girl gulped, "Shampoo no loose self yes? Shampoo no want to know all of airen's memories just want airen to give love to her. She not want to know Neko-Ken."

"Unfortunately there is no avoiding that great granddaughter. However, remember; none of his emotions will come with his memories. Still, it will likely mean a distaste for felines, but nothing worse." Cologne seemed to pause in thought for a second. "It may be that your own memories of being a cat may ease his fears."

"Is no cure for Neko-ken training great grandmother."

"Yes and no."

Both Ranma and Shampoo shared the same thought, though only shampoo was able to voice it, "What you mean yes and no? Either is cure or is not."

"Son-in-laws training in the Neko-ken is incomplete."

Again the young Amazon asked the question on the captive Neko-ken plagued boy. "You know how to finish?"

"No. I do not. The secret of that technique has long been lost to our people. If it were not, I would have offered such as an enticement to lure him to our tribe. However, once he has accepted his place among us I will redouble my efforts to find someone who does for having one trained in such a technique in our village is inviting unneeded problems."

"Now I need you to remain silent for a bit as I need to ensure I do not make any mistakes with these final symbols."

"Yes great grandmother."

For Ranma the next twenty minutes seemed to be the longest of his life, save perhaps his time spent in the pit learning the Neko-ken.

He struggled against his body doing everything he could think of to make it move, anything and everything he knew to try to speed the drugs in his system along so he could get free but nothing worked.

Eventually, when Cologne began to paint the odd symbols on his face, she again spoke, her voice carrying all of her age and regret. "I truly wish that things had not come to this son-in-law."

Ranma's confusion as to how this could all be his fault shone in his eyes as he continued to be Cologne's captive audience.

"I had high hopes you'd fall for my great granddaughter's charms on your own making such methods unnecessary. In truth I was prepared to release you from the kiss of marriage if it become clear you would never choose her but with your recent defeat of the Lord of Phoenix Mountain you have closed that avenue for us both."

Ranma blinked several times, his confusion increasing as he wondered why his rescuing of Akane had forced Cologne to take such drastic measures.

"You see son-in-law, I could pass of your defeat of the Prince of the Musk as a fluke to the other elders of the tribe… but defeating the Godling Saffron… now if I allowed Shampoo to return home without you they'd exact a price for her failure. A price I'm unwilling to allow her to pay as she is the last of my line and I will not see it ended simply because you cannot seem to choose what is best for you by accepting your marriage to her as you should have from the beginning."

Ranma managed a gurgled sound of anger.

"What I do now I do to ensure my great granddaughter's safety just as what you did to earn you this fate was done to save the young Tendo girl. I lament the necessity but I'll not sit idly by and allow my great granddaughter to be forced to choose between death or banishment from the tribe just because some male refuses to accept his responsibilities when he should have come to realize the girl he chases after will never accept him."

The boy in question made another attempt to speak with the same gurgled results.

"How one who can be so brilliant in combat be unable to see what is right before him eludes me. How you cannot see the girls petty jealousy would consume her until it was all that was left shows why males were simply not meant to make important decisions."

"As to Miss Kuonji. To think she could actually delude herself into believing someone of your talents could simply settle down to such a menial existence is beyond ludicrous."

"Even if I hadn't been forced down this path, I would've seen to it you never married either girl. I would not shame my ancestors by allowing one of such talent to waste it in such a way as in some way I've come to think of you as the son I never had which is why doing this to you does indeed cause me pain."

He watched as the ancient matriarch wiped away a single tear that threatened to slide down her cheek.

"If I could change things I would, but our paths are set and there is no going back. Shampoo will have you as her groom even if it is against your will. Even your death, accidental or otherwise, would not appease my fellow elders if she were to try to return without you."

"It eases my pain knowing once the binding is complete you'll not only come willing back to the village, but you'll openly accept your rightful position at Shampoo's side for going against my great granddaughter will simply be unthinkable for her wishes shall become yours."

Ranma managed a growl.

"I know my words may seem counter to my feelings of regret, but they are true. Simply dragging you back to the village against your will would bring you no happiness, but with you feeling as Shampoo does, that will not be a factor. It is for that I am thankful as I do truly wish to see you happy though I doubt you see it that way…"

With those final words the diminutive Amazon returned to her painting as the pig-tailed martial artist continued to either will his body to move or pray to the Kami that someone, anyone, would interfere and rescue him er… allow him to get away… somehow.

As fate would have it there would be interruptions, ones which would result in unforeseen consequences for all involved, came from three common Nerima sources; Mousse, Happosai, and Tatewaki Kuno. These three, acting independently, would each contribute in their own way to Ranma's newest set of adventures.

One Tatewaki Kuno, The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. The self-proclaimed love of his Fierce Tigress, Akane and his Fiery, Pig-tailed girl. (Whose name he had only recently come to know as being Ranko. After he had paid a tidy sum to Nabiki.) Having been informed by his faithful Ninja Manservant, Sasuke, that Ranma was currently hiding out among the warehouses of the Nerima district.

Ranma was no doubt intending some nefarious deed, which would further keep his beloveds from showing their true feelings of devotion to him. Or worse, his pig-tailed nemesis could be holding his Fiery Goddess captive so that he might have his demonic way with her.

Armed with a new weapon, with which to banish the foul sorcerer forever from this world, in the form of a charm. He had discovered it among some ancient relics deep beneath his families ancestral mansion. Kuno was already on his way towards the very warehouse in which Ranma lay helplessly.

Coming from another direction the myopic warrior of the Chinese Amazons Mousse – self-proclaimed beloved and in his opinion the only man for Shampoo – escaped his incarceration within the birdcage the other two Amazons had placed him. He would've still been there had he not overheard bits and pieces of the Amazon elders plan which allowed him time to pre-prepare an antidote for the very paralyzation powder that now held Ranma prisoner – an antidote he was thankful he'd given himself earlier that evening when Cologne had dosed him as an added precaution against his interference. After freeing himself from his incarceration the Jusenkyo cursed martial artist headed towards the very location which the ritual was taking place praying he made it there before it was completed.

Lastly was one the ancient Grandmaster of the Anything Goes Martial arts, Happosai. The old letch had been out searching for his missing heir so that he could get in some proper training time; meaning the old letch was out collecting panties, several of which he planned to have his sexy little Ranma-chan don in return for learning at his feet – a place he firmly believed all of his students belonged. Happosai had in fact arrived at the warehouse half-way through Cologne's explanation of the ritual. To the old pervert he saw a way to gain Ranma's compliance for his own. Thus he sat hunched among the rafters waiting for an opportunity to co-opt the ritual, images of his darling Ranma-chan obeying his every whim dancing through his perverted little mind.

ooO Twenty Minutes Later Ooo

A night-blue fog billowed and flowed across the warehouse floor lending an unneeded eeriness to the ritual as it neared completion. Its dull color offset by the only other light source within, that of a golden hue which surrounded the central individual of the ritual taking place within the warehouses confines – Ranma.

Standing on the opposite side of the make-shift altar upon which the still paralyzed martial artist laid a nude Shampoo waited eagerly as Cologne, who stood on the opposite side from her great granddaughter her back to the front entrance to the warehouse, waved the short spear she held in her hand over the glowing boy.

The few final utterances of her part of the ritual flowing from her lips Cologne turned the spear about, haft towards her great granddaughter who accepted it with a few oddly sounding words. The ancient elder had hardly stepped away from the altar to make way for Shampoo's completion of their work when both Tatewaki Kuno and Mousse burst through opposite doors and entered the warehouse – Kuno from the front Mousse from the back – each shouting their intentions to free the objects of their obsessions from the currently immobile pig-tailed martial artist who was cursing his bad luck that it had to be two who wished him more harm than help that had come to his rescue.

Seeing Mousse chains speeding towards her frozen beloved Shampoo used the spear she'd been handed to redirect the streaming links of metal sending them crashing into Kuno launching him back out the door.

Dropping into a defensive position between Mousse and Ranma, spear held forward, Shampoo glared at her would-be lover. "What stupid duck boy think he doing?!"

"I'm saving you from making a most horrible mistake my darling Shampoo! A most horrible mistake it would be in deed if you were to be bound to anyone buy the one who truly loves you!" Mousse yelled in response, his arms already in motion launching a sink, three bags of ice and two pepper shakers towards his hated foe.

Swinging the spear in her hand around Shampoo deflected the sink, dodged the bag of melting ice for fear that its contents might trigger her curse or mar the delicate symbols on her body, sliced both pepper containers in half creating a cloud of black dust that billowed and surrounded both her and Ranma's unmoving form.

Leaping towards Mousse, her melon-maces replacing the spear she'd tossed on the altar beside her still unmoving love interest, Shampoo declared her intentions to pound Mousse for his actions. "Shampoo see she need to re-teach Mousse how Shampoo feel about him!"

Not truly hearing the venom behind his beloveds words Mousse opened his arms in welcome "Oh Shampoo my love finally you come to my ar…oof!" only to double over upon the impact of one mace to his stomach – an action that put him in position to receive the second mace across the back of his skull sending the love-struck male face first into the cement floor of the warehouse.

"Shampoo! Get back to son-in-law! Complete the ritual!" Cologne stepped between her and the duck cursed male. "I will take care of this pest."

"Yes great grandmother!"

Bounding quickly across the distance between her the altar seat herself upon her would-be-husband all too happy to nestle her rear against the frozen boy's hips knowing that the two areas were also safe as neither had any symbols to mar there. Picking up the spear she touched the tip of it to his chest.

"Now Airen be mine and we be together for long long time."

Her anticipated moment of victory seemed to last forever and it seemed that nothing could prevent her from finally claiming the man she loved. That is until Shampoo felt a hand clench her throat and another grip the arm which held the spear.

The purple-tressed Amazon again went flying across the room, this time to crash with some force into the cement outer wall of the warehouse. As she shook of the daze of the impact Shampoo found it hard to believe the one who had thrown her away was the very person she had been trying make hers. A person whom, by all accounts, should not have been able to move until paralytic poison in his system ran its course.

"How you move?!" Shampoo half-shrieked.

Mousse's muffled laughter brought her attention to the boy as he pulled himself free from the floor where she'd thrown him, no sign of her great grandmother anywhere. Knowing that Ranma's miraculous recovery had something to do with her annoying suitor she was on him in an instant, pulling his still semi-limp body up by the front of his robes to bring his face close to hers.

"What Mousse do?!" Shampoo snarled.

"Save you… mistake…" Mousse managed to whisper through clenched teeth.

With no regard for the pain she was causing him Shampoo shook the robe wearing boy. "WHAT YOU DO?!"

"Looks like I owe ya one Mousse." Ranma growled out.

Briefly turning towards the still glowing Ranma Shampoo could see he was brushing something off his arms, chest, and face; black flakes of something.

Looking down she could see she too was covered with black flakes. Bringing a pinch of the substance up to her nose she sniffed; and in that sniff it became immediately clear that whatever had been in the shakers had not been pepper as it smelled like freshly cut grass.

With wide eyes Shampoo regarded the love-obsessed boy she still held in a death grip.

"If Mousse no throw pepper in shaker… what you throw?"

"Antidote… Kodachi… powder." Mousse barely managed to croak due to Shampoo's twisting of the front of his robe practically strangling they myopic boy. "Had… had to save you… from horrible mistake…"

Mousse was saved a true near-death beating by obsession thanks to her being distracted by the sudden sensation of something, or rather someone, fondling her bared bosoms in a very unwelcome fashion. Casting her eyes downward she found herself meeting the soulful eyes of the master of Anything Goes.

"Sooo firm… so perfectly round… and all oiled up for play!" Happosai cooed happily as he nestled his bald-head deeper between her exposed cleavage, the oil based paint on her breasts smearing under his ministrations.

Releasing Mousse from her death grip Shampoo screamed in righteous womanly fury taking a swing at Happosai who'd performed a perfect motorboat maneuver upon her chest before leaping away to land atop the altar next to his chosen heir.

Glaring at the diminutive pervert Shampoo took a step forward intending to smash him for taking liberties with her body only to find her path blocked by her great grandmother's staff.

"Why you stop me from bashing pervert!"

"Foolish child, if you approach son-in-law now you will not be protected from the ritual!" Cologne tapped Shampoos chest with the tip of her cane making the girl look down at the ruined symbols adorning her chest. "The interfering old fool smeared the protective runes when he groped you."

"What we do now Great grandmother?"

"We must flee for the magic of the ritual will seek out a person of opposite sex with which to complete the transfer. If we are lucky it shall find none within range and dissipate quickly. So long as son-in-law remains here no one should be in danger."

Turning to flee out the nearest doorway they beheld Kuno's swaggering re-entrance into the warehouse, acting as if he owned the place – which in fact his family did. The wanna-be samurai briefly surveyed the other occupants before resting his clearly disdainful gaze upon the still glowing Ranma who'd caught Happosai and was keeping him from chasing after Shampoo out of habit more than actually being nice to the normally bubbly Amazon. That and when Happosai had leapt up on the alter he'd landed on Ranma's family jewels.

"You see Sasuke! I see I was correct! The foul wretch was performing some foul sorcerous spell to ensnare more women to his vile and debaucherous ways! But with the guidance of the heavens I, the Righteous Blade of Heaven, have arrived in time to thwart your evils!"

"I ain't got time for you right now Kuno… so why don't ya go play in the street or something." Ranma said, a foot firmly holding the squirming Happosai to the altar.

"You think yourself wise enough to advise a scion of the House of Kuno on what to do?!" Kuno thrust his bokken forward. "Thou aren't fit to suggest the color of what undergarments one such as I should wear let alone on this! And do you think me a fool that I would heed such advice in the first place? That I, the glorious Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would leave so as to allow your acts of evil to go unchallenged!"

Slashing his blade downwards in a dismissive gesture her declared "Never!" yelled "Now Sasuke, do as your master has bid!".

"Yes master!" came the whiskered ninja's reply as he suddenly descended to before the alter on a rope from the rafters above to drop his master's charm at Ranma and Happosai's feet as he'd been instructed to do.

"What's that supposed to do?" Ranma asked, his grinding Happosai beneath his foot temporarily forgotten.

"So thou wish to know what that is O-foul-one?! I shalt tell you! It tis the instrument of salvation for all those you have bewitched!" Kuno pontificated, his hands at his hips and his head thrown back for a brief bout of laughter. "Now, I, Tatewaki Kuno, Samurai and Lord of this domain demand that you be gone forever! By the words of power, Tsail Khoru Jahai I banish your wretchedness to the rifts between worlds!"

In response to his words, the amulet started to glow.

"Oh crap…" Ranma said even as he felt the change of his curse roll over him thanks to the flask of water the ancient pervert beneath his foot tossed at him. The cursed martial artist said no more as he was pulled into a swirling vortex of red light that erupted from the amulet. Happosai, who had managed to leap about a foot away from his unwilling apprentice, was caught in its grasp next though the glow that pulled him in had a bright gold tint to it.

And just like that Ranma and Happosai had vanished leaving behind a laughing Kuno, an unconscious Mousse, a crying Shampoo, and one very peeved elder Amazon who was already stomping her way towards the oblivious kendoist even as the doors once again bust open and more of those who had an interest in Ranma's life poured in.


Additional Thanks

(In Alphabetical Order)

Genhoss – For his wonderful advice, ideas, corrections, suggestions, & critiques. (But not Beta Reading. I didn't have the heart to ask him to.)

To My Friends – For putting up with me babbling about my writing when they have zero interest in fanfiction and for their occasional quote or unintentionally given idea.


Chapter Notes & Author Commentary

Once again, I thank you for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed it. Leave a review, don't leave a review, either is good. But I do ask you take a moment in your day and make a friend laugh.

Additional thank you to Demodragon and Sprokavriel for pointing out a few mistakes in the original posting of this chapter.

Oh, and remember, real bunnies do not make good slippers.

Depends on your method of making the bunnies into slippers. There are a few
dozen ways that make really comfortable and warm ones. Of course for enough
material you are usually looking at 2-4 bunnies (Depending on which kind) per
slipper. They can be made entire out of rabbit even if Cow Leather or rubber
make better soles for them. - Spokavriel

Not if they are still alive! Well, not without making one heck of a mess.


– Revised April 12th, 2011 –

– Revised September 3rd, 2011 – (Cleaned up a few things as well as fixed some errors)

– Revised April 15th, 2013 – (Spokavriel Corrections)