This is just a drabble I had to do after watching "Hey, Hey, It's Esther Blueburger." That movie owed a lot to St. Trinian's inspiration and it seemed to me some of those girls might enjoy coming north to visit their exemplars. I don't expect it will really make sense if you haven't seen the movie.
I own nothing relating to either film.

A Duck Called Normal

"Where's she from?" Annabelle spoke quietly to Kelly as they slipped stealthily into the lounge adjacent the main hall.

"Adelaide. Apparently Anoushka's done so well in the exchange your aunt decided to invite another." Jones smirked, assuming her favorite observational stance. Belle had labeled it 'casually provocative.' It flustered every new student since it was impossible to look at Kelly Jones and not think of sex, no matter your persuasion. Smoldering eyes, skin tight school girl uniform, crimson mouth parted ever so slightly; if you didn't immediately imagine her naked, you probably only fancied bodies with no pulse.

Fritton and the Head Girl watched from a distance as St. Trinian's mounted their usual welcome for a new student. The closing bell stampede didn't even phase her. She tripped up three girls and then climbed to high ground, a feral look in her eyes right before she crowd surfed to open ground. Landing smoothly after the last wave retreated the halls, the new girl straightened up and regarded the empty entryway.

"Bloody flash floods." she muttered with a smirk, shouldering her duffel.

"Nice moves." Kelly admitted, pulling the stranger's attention around.

"Nice welcome committee." she answered, taking in both Kelly and Annabelle's appearance. She might have been excused for thinking pole dances were part of the reception at her new school. She knew first hand what strippers looked like and that they came in all ages and costumes. Wouldn't that be just like her mates? Arrange for a dance as soon as she walked in the door? Kelly sauntered over, carefully gauging where the dark eyes flitted over her figure. Some pronounced lingering on the lips but she seemed more interested in looking at Belle's legs. Straight with a twist, definitely.

"Good flight?" Kelly continued with innocent banter. It was conversational poker, learning tells and seeing who would fold first. The new girl had an easy, breezy demeanor but was playing the game same as Jones.

"Long. Heathrow's all bollixed up. Bunch of footballers in coach too, no chance for shuteye." her inflections had a lilting quality, softening and slowing the usually clipped British words. It was a sun bronzed and ocean tamed accent. She had Kelly's same knack for leaving thoughts hanging with a bit of double entendre. Belle smirked to herself. This was going to be flipping awesome.

"C'mon up, we'll show you 'round." Kelly suggested, nodding Belle forward as well.

"An' who are you lot?" the girl glanced between the two of them, concealing her nervousness at being escorted by two . . .well, escorts. Annabelle knew not to interfere. Jones had a way she liked to do introductions. Everything was a test until new girls were proven. Or better yet, broken. This one might take a while.

"Kelly Jones. Head Girl."

The newcomer had to stifle her instinctive laughter, barely succeeding. St. Trinian's was famous in the world at large for that recent Vermeer recovery. But amongst schoolgirls the true legend was whispered in tingling ears, away from parents and teachers. Why else would she have been willing to come? She could do with a bit of anarchy in her life. She needed to learn to completely let go again. To let reality get buggered.

"Serious? You have a Head Girl here? What for?"

"We have our own way of keeping things in order. Even chaos likes a direction." Jones shrugged easily, not even slightly perturbed by the disbelief. The girl wasn't cheeky, just honest. Rather like Fritton when she first arrived but minus the attitude. She'd just have to learn to keep such honesty to herself before someone shoved the words back down her throat.

"Right, makes sense," she took a cue from the serious expressions facing her, chewing her lip, "I'd love to bunk down, I'm tuckered out."

Touring the dorms with a new girl was a philosophical puzzle: who was the freak show? The Emos and Chavs both seemed to like the new girl, bits and pieces of her wardrobe fit her in with either tribe. Even the Ecos were inclined to like what they saw.

"And First Years." Kelly nodded to the far crib of shrieking chaos.

"Who do you run with?" Belle asked curiously as the foreigner tossed her duffel onto the empty bunk.

"You got a lion's pit?" she glanced around, looking for anything similar to her old crew. She'd been quick to label the groups in the terms she knew - Braidy Bunch, Nerds, Social Climbers, Waxheads etc.

"No, but the Eco's have a Vivarium downstairs." Fritton offered helpfully. It had started as a terrarium and then gradually took over a whole classroom.

"Guess I'll just keep to myself, then. Always did better." she shrugged and began unpacking. Her toilet kit and clothes were dumped out unceremoniously. Only two things were treated with reverence: her drumsticks and a small, stuffed animal. A plush yellow duck. Belle winced, noting the tenderness in the way her fingers stroked the doll and knowing what was coming.

"Can I see?" she asked, hoping she didn't sound too urgent. The girl looked skeptical but handed it over, sitting down on her bed at the same moment the green slime was triggered. Shrieks of laughter and victory accompanied the flutter of feathers landing on the surprised Australian. Belle was just glad she'd kept the stuffed duck from getting hit - that gunk simply wouldn't come out of synthetic fibers. They'd discovered that a while back when one of the Flammables had extensions in her hair.

The girl stood, dripping, and walked into the First Year crib, silencing their laughter. The Sopranos readied weapons. The prank victim tugged a sheet off a random hammock, ignoring any squeaks from the tiny girl inside.

"Gotta admit, that's a good one." she grinned, toweling off the gunk from her hair and person. She'd scrub off a good part of her own skin with the adhesive goo but didn't seem to care. She didn't even hesitate to strip off her stained clothes in front of the gaping audience, barely noticing the eyes. The Geeks cursed anxiously, unable to get the local cameras online in time to catch the window of nudity. Even Kelly was impressed in her own sensual, nonchalant way. Before anyone could even laugh the new girl had rubbed her skin raw and clean and redressed in her sleeping kit. She sat on the messy bed, head upside down as she endeavored to clean her hair. Kelly knew when a show was over and shooed the tribes back to their territories. She and Belle exchanged glances.

"You'll want to shower in the morning. Same as everyone else. It comes out after about three shampoos." Belle spoke quietly, sitting down on the bunk as well. She'd never minded the initiation pranks St. Trinian's pulled on new girls. It weeded out the weak ones, even herself. But something in the kohl lined eyes that stared up at her from under the makeshift towel made her feel guilty.

"Right. Thanks for keeping him clean." she reached out and took the duck back from Annabelle's hands.

"You never told us your name." Kelly sat down on the opposite bed, leaning forward in curiosity. This one had real promise. She had a lot of pain in her history but was refusing to be victimized. She must've learned to fight back young, she knew to laugh instead of crying.

"I'm Sunni." she poked her head out of the sheet, most of the feathers gone and the green glue drying in clumps in her shaggy dark hair. Her skin was about the same shade as Taylor's and the tribal earring in her left ear gave her an exotic flare.

"This is Belle." Jones nodded to the lighter brunette. Annabelle extended her hand, relieved that Sunni willingly shook. Fair play to the good sport.

"And this is?" Belle nodded to the stuffed duck. It was rare for an older girl to come in with a mascot. Usually Trinian's girls were far too jaded for such touches of innocence. They came clutching weapons, bottles and injured limbs, not childhood keepsakes.

"That's Normal." she smiled fondly as she absently stroked the fake feathers.

"Normal?" Kelly's brow tilted up slightly.

"Yeah, he's the reason I'm here." Sunni's smile grew wider, laughing at some private joke.

"What do you mean?" Belle looked back and forth between the dark skinned Australian and the stuffed duck.

"I'm looking for a place where dreams don't get killed."


Like I said, it won't totally make sense if you haven't seen the film. But it is a serious Trinian knock off. Or tribute, depending on perspective. If you have seen it, let me know what you thought of the crossover.