Jar of Hearts

"I have to admit, Prince Zuko, I really find you attractive." Hearing this made my heart pang. The avatar- the supposedly strongThe actress playing the role of the girl I love- the girl I kissed- said flirtatiously. She was nothing like Katara, not empowering, not intelligent, and certainly not beautiful.

"You don't have to make fun of me!" The actor of Zuko's character turned away, his hair in face. I looked back to Katara's character, who looked as if she had been burnt, like the time I had burnt her.

"But I mean it," she said, sitting beside 'Zuko'. "I've had eyes for you since the day you first captured me."

What this actress had said lingered in my mind. They seemed to slash open the feelings I had kept bottled inside of me. The feeling of self-doubt. The feeling of lovesickness. The feeling of hatred.

"Wait! I thought you were the avatar's girl!"

I nodded. "Yes, she is. She has to be. She loves me."

'Katara' laughed. "The avatar? Why, he's like a little brother to me!" She laughed again. "I certainly don't think of him in a romantic way."

The words hurts. They hurt more than a cut. More than a burn. More than a bolt of lightning. More than slamming into a rock wall. More than

"Besides, how could he ever find out about-" I gulped, trying to prepare myself for the worst to come. "-this?"

The two actors on stage embraced. 'Katara's' leg flew up, and 'Zuko' smiled. Each had a hand intertwined with one another's, while the other hands were around them.

I could say that I knew that they were merely acting. I could say that it was impossible for those two to love each other, being polar opposites. I could say that I wasn't affected by that hug- that it was a hug and nothing more.

But those would all be lies.

I stood, and for a second, I thought about sending flames at the stage. But I didn't. Katara wouldn't want me to. Not that I cared about what she thought anymore. All I wanted at that moment was quiet time- time to be alone.

"Oh! You're getting up? Can you get me some fire flakes?" Sokka whispered loudly. It was useless, though. The sound of my heartbeat took over, filling my ears to the brim.

"Ooh! And fire gummies!" He called again from behind me. I proceeded out of the room and to the balcony of the theater.

I know I can't take one more step towards you

'Cause all that's waiting is regret.

And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore.

You lost the love I loved the most.

I learned to live half alive,

And now you want me one more time

I could feel tears stinging my eyes. In front of me was the vast stretch of ocean, islands like small specks in the distance. But although there was an amazing view before my eyes, all I could think about was the feeling of her lips brushing against mine, her skin against mine, and her eyes attached to mine.

How could I have been so stupid? To let love blind me? To let myself fall in love? Why did I not close that chakra? Why did I not see how little I deserved Katara? She could have anyone- Jet, Haru, and even Zuko! Why did she even hint that she liked me? Why?

And who do you think you are

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart?

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul,

So con't come back for me.

Who do you think you are?

A light came from behind me. I heard footsteps and automatically knew who was behind me.

"Are you alright?" She said, her voice as divine as any spirit I knew of. But I couldn't give in. I knew she was just trying to reel me back in.

I hear you're asking all around

If I am anywhere to be found.

But I have grown too strong

To ever fall back in your arms.

And I've learned to live half alive,

And now you want me one more time…

"No! I'm not," I replied loudly. "I hate this play." I tore the hat on the head off, revealing my arrow.

She walked toward me. "I know it's upsetting, but it sounds like you're overreacting."

"Overreacting?" I yelled at her. "If I hadn't blocked my chakra, I'd probably be in the avatar state by now!" I looked down. I was ashamed for yelling. Ashamed for believing in love. Ashamed in being me.

We were silent, the noises of the cicada birds filling my ears.

And who do you think you are

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart?

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul,

So con't come back for me.

Who do you think you are?

Summoning up courage, I spoke first. "Katara, did you really mean what you said in there?"

"In where? What are you talking about?"

"On stage! When you said I was just like a-" I word caught inside my mouth. I struggled for a second when I was finally able to say it. "-brother to you, and you didn't have feelings for me." I looked at her straight in the big and beautiful blue eyes of her's.

"I didn't say that! An actor said that." She crossed an arm and held the other with it, which was a gesture that was to comfort herself- to protect herself. Maybe she didn't say it. But from the looks of sadness and anxiety on her face, I could feel bad news coming.

"But it's true isn't it? We kissed at the invasion, and I thought that we were gonna be together. But we're not."

"Aang," She looked away from me, " I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"Because, we're in the middle of a war, and we have other things to worry about." She turned toward me again, but her eyes lingered, staring at the ocean beside and under us. "This isn't the right time."

"Well, when is the right time?"

She seemed to have no answer for my question. All I wanted was to know why. "Aang, I'm sorry. But right now I'm just a little confused." She tugged on her hair.

It hurt to know that she had nothing to say to me. It hurt to know that I may never again feel the warmth of her lips pressed against mine. But, it hurt more than anything, though, to know that she might or might not love me.

I don't know if it was the lingering smell of the ocean, or maybe it was the moonlight making her eyes shine, but, before I knew it, I was leaning forward and kissing her. She tasted sweet, like I would expect a cloud at sunset to taste like, and smelled like rain. I wanted to stay there forever, but then she pulled away.

"I just said I was confused!" She yelled. The silence that filled the next few seconds was louder than any noise I had ever heard. When all I wanted to do was hold her, I couldn't because I didn't want to hurt her and make her even more angry with me. It felt like I was being torn in two; a part of me wanted her, a part of me didn't want her.

And it took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes.

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

'Cause you broke all your promises.

And now you're back;

You don't get to get me back.

"I'm going inside." She turned and ran up the staircase and through the curtains. That was when I realized how much I missed being with her. I missed her smell. Her touch. Her laughter. Her eyes. Her smile. Her taste. Her lips. Her presence.

At that moment, all I wanted was to be next to her.

I realized that I was being a hypocrite. I wasn't thinking. What was I thinking? I wanted to go back to fix that mistake. Go back and fix all of these things. But the one thing that stayed in my mind as I raced through all of my thoughts?

"I'm such an idiot!"

And who do you think you are

Running 'round leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart?

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul,

So con't come back for me.

Who do you think you are?

For all I know, I might be just as confused. Maybe if the roles were reversed, I would feel the same way she would. As I stood there, a light breeze brush against me, I tried to capture the memories like little birds floating away. And I promised myself that one day, we'd be together once again.


Author's Note:

To all those who read, thank you for the support! I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to, please rate, comment, review, subscribe and all that jazz. I don't own Avatar, its plot, characters, story or setting. I don't own the song 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri either. Thank you, and have a good day!