Put this on the back burner while I was working on "Zombieland" Vegas Saga stuff (oh yeah, and a master's degree), but I decided the next chapter (already pretty well-planned) would be a good change of pace.

"This sucks," said Young Neil. "Sucks! SUCKS! Suuuucks."

"Yes," said Kim Pines, "you mentioned your opinion that this place sucks."

"Nobody made you come," Julie said.

"Uh, actually," said Knives, "I thought you kinda did."

"Yeah," said Wallace, "Stephen said you'd never give him any again if he couldn't get enough us to all come."

Julie "hmph"ed, glaring sidelong at Stephen. "Like that would work," she said. Stephen shrugged.

"So," said Kim, "what was wrong with the last thirty white table cloths we looked at?"

"I don't want white," Julie said, "I want Cream White #2."

"C'mon," Wallace said, "I'm one of the only guys in Toronto with fashion sense, and I'm tellin' ya, they're all just white!"

Knives glanced at a sign. "Level three," she said. "I didn't think this place was tall enough for a third level."

Wallace shrugged. "It probably isn't, on the outside."

"Okaayy," Julie said, "now we're on to something... Hold my bag, Steph..."

"`Steph'?" Wallace said. "Dude, your girlfriend just called you a girl's name! Are you going to but up with that?" Stephen shrugged.

Scott's hands trembled as he clutched a semi-random selection of anime. "I bought the stuff," he told himself feverishly. "Now they'll let me go. Won't they?" His eyes darted about manically. "Yeah. I did what the fish said. Now they gotta let me go... Dear God, why won't they let me go?"

"Scott!" Ramona exclaimed. "There you are! What, you bought more anime? Hey, you already have two of these!"

"The fish told me to!" Scott said. "I couldn't leave if I didn't! But I think we're trapped anyway!"

"Scott!" Ramona said, gently but firmly gripping his shoulders. "Of course we can leave! Don't be silly. I'm ready to blow this place, anyway."

Scott nodded. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rammy."

"I already told you, that's the worst pet name ever... Still, that's sweet. I just need to tell Julie... Oh, I see her! It'll just take a minute. Just stay right here."

"Okay," Scott said, already drifting off.

"Where's Kim and Wallace?" Ramona said.

"Oh, I sent them to find, um... something," Julie said. Having already put enough things in Stephen's arms to hide much of his face, she added instead to an already impressive load of Young Neil's.

"She just made us split up because he wouldn't put up with this!" Neil said.

"Well, anyway, I'm going, so you'll have to finish without me," Ramona said. "Oh, no, where's Scott off to now?..."

"Take me!" Neil wailed after her.

Ramona found Scott by the sound of a scream. He almost staggered into her, looking even more wild-eyed than before. "Scott! What happened? Did you see something again?"

He stared at her with the eyes of one who had seen an abomination unthinkable in a billion years in a billion time-space continua. "Th- tha-at... way... ar-ra-round the corner," he stammered, pointing back.

"What? What did you thi- what did you see?"

"Wa- Wa... Wall-ll..."


Scott nodded fervently. "An- an' K-K- Kim.."

"What about Wallace and Kim? They came here with us. Julie said she told them to split off to get more of the shopping done."

"M- mma- making out!" For a moment, Ramona looked merely nonplussed. Then, as her eyes began to widen, Scott shrieked, "With each other!"

"Dude!" said Wallace. He stepped up from behind Ramona, with Kim following behind. "What's all the noise about?"

Bonus! Alternate movie cast

Kim- (still) Allison Pill

Wallace- Dan Byrd (Pretty well typecast himself into a corner with "Easy A")

Cuomo- Jensen Ackles

Envy- Emma Stone

Scott- Ashton Kutcher? (If he could be aged back to 2000 or so)

Ramona- ?