Okay, fifth chapter time! Do I really need to say which ones are mine at this point?
I will not tell Elphie that Harry Potter thinks he can fly better than her. Even though he has a Firebolt. (MorePopZthanGalinda)
I will not refuse to eat vegetables just because they remind me of Elphaba. (FaeTheDevoutScholar)
I will not threaten to destroy the white tights to get Fiyero to do whatever I want… DEfy'GRavitY95)
I will not, repeat not, let a wild animal maul Fiyero just so I can touch his face. *sigh* (DEfyGRavitY95)
I will not hide the Grimmerie, push Elphaba off her broom and use the excuse "she was finally brought down," so I can be Fiyero's shoulder to cry on. (DEfy'GRavitY95)
I will not swap Elphaba's broom with Glinda's bubble to see what Elphaba does. (DEfy'GRavitY95)
I will also not swap Glinda's bubble for Elphaba's broom just to see Glinda's reaction. (DEfy'GRavitY95)
I will not ask Elphie if she's related to the Green Giant.
I will not give Elphie a hat and hook Nessa up with a Munchkin just so I can get a wand in return.
I will not pull an Elphie by dancing alone when no music is playing, especially in public places. I'm pretty sure it would entertain the security guards though…
I will not cry over the pre-packaged lettuce at the grocery store while wailing at the top of my lungs: "ELPHIE! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?" Then turn, point accusingly at an employee and shriek, "YOU MONSTER! MAY THE FLYING MONKEYS DESTROY YOUR SOUL!"
On that note: I will not buy aforementioned lettuce, give it to Fiyero, tell him it's Elphie, and insist that her last words were that she wanted the two of us to be together.
I will not track Dorothy down, throw a bucket of water on her and say, "Yeah! Doesn't feel so good when it's you, does it?" Whether or not it will be a bucket of boiling water remains to be seen.
I will not perform "Popular" every time I see someone getting a makeover at the mall. (And I mean choreography, music, the whole shebang!)
I will not perform "Popular" every time I give one of my friends a makeover at a slumber party.
I will not perform "Popular" every time I get dressed in the morning.
I will not ask Elphie if she would care for a sip of Green Elixer.
I will not kidnap the Wizard and subject him to a makeover by Galinda, then take pictures to post on the internet
I will not give Elphie Dorothy's address, then tell her, "She said she was going to steal Fiyero from you froggie." And I will not then video tape the ensuing reaction to replay for my amusement.
I will not tie Glinda and Elphie to chairs and force them to listen to every romantic Gelphie fic on this site.
I will not think twice before pushing Morrible off a cliff. (Jedi Annie Scrambler)
I will not leave Dorothy and Elphaba locked in a room together to "talk out" their problems with each other. No matter how hilarious the results may be. (SideshowJazz1)
I will not tell Dorothy that her dog's name is really Dodo and she has been pronouncing it wrong all along. (darkgemwildcat)
I will not answer "because Glinda is blonde" to any question involving intelligence. (darkgemwildcat)
I will not tell Elphaba about the zoo. (darkgemwildcat)
I will not use "but Elphaba did it!" when I get convicted of kidnapping a little girl and locking her in my basement. (darkgemwildcat)
I will not ask Elphaba or Fiyero about what exactly happened after the ALAYM scene… (darkgemwildcat)
I will not ask Nessa if she would like to buy running shoes. (darkgemwildcat)
I will not kidnap Fiyero and then blame Dorothy (hey…she and Elphie already hate each other, why not add a little something extra for my benefit?).
I will not use, "But Fiyero said life was better when you dance instead of do homework!" as an excuse to not do aforementioned homework. (Huh…I wonder if I could actually pull that off?)