Welcome to my new Puckleberry Crack Fic.

This is to fill a prompt on the glee crack meme over on livejournal. Linked on my profile. But it became a little bit more when I was writing it and so I'm posting it here.

WORDS OF WARNING: Other than the usual I don't own glee hoopla I should also mention this is very crackish. Just... yeah. Head's up, you may want to check normality at the door.

Look it's a freaking gender swap story. It's not meant to be sensible. Did I not mention that? Hells yeah. GENDER SWAP.

And yeah this is the prologue. Later chapters will be in POV.


The party had been held in honor of Kurt returning to McKinley and as such was held in the Hudson-Hummel basement (it helped that Burt and Carol would be taking a belated honeymoon). Puck would tell you despite the lack of parents, the venue didn't matter. The booze mattered.

Despite the alcohol pledge they'd all signed until nationals there had been an unwritten addendum to the rule that if at such a time a glee club member returned from exile then they all could, and should, have a alcohol fueled welcome home party.

Well the rule had been unwritten for everyone except Rachel who has protested loudly citing their preparation for nationals. It had taken some convincing but eventually she'd come around. The majority of the club, save the person who had convinced her, had been only slightly curious when she'd arrived at the next glee meeting with nothing further to add other than her excitement for the party and the hope that there would be wine coolers.

With Rachel on board the arrangements for alcohol were underway. Puck oversaw the job like he was leading some military operation and at one point actually insisted that Santana and Brittany salute him. Brittany did.

He'd got the beer from both his private stash and a 'friend' with a fake ID. He'd then directed Santana and Brittany to the 7-11. It had nothing to do with him not actually being allowed on the property anymore, he simply said that Boobs McGee and Blonde Boobs would have a easier time convincing middle aged men to buy hard liquor.

Mike had stifled a laugh when Artie mused about it being one of the perks of having boobs, which earned Mike a slap upside his head from Tina.

So in all of a week the glee club had planned a party with more alcohol than Rachel's dads liquor cabinet and the addition of a few Dalton boys at Kurt's request.

The party itself was wilder, louder and longer than Rachel's basement soiree. Mercedes had pointed out that more people equalled more fun before she had a few more drinks and spent the rest of the night giggling. Before Rachel drank enough that she forgot her own name she'd commented on how un-dapper the Dalton boys were in the presence of alcohol.

That was before she was grinding against one of the "un-dapper" boys as they danced.

Puck had disappeared around that time, nobody questioned where or why when he got back as they'd assumed he simply had his tongue somewhere.

Eventually the party had winded down. That Dalton boys, all seemed to leave together or at least around the same time, dragging Blaine with them who seemed to want to cling to Kurt's arm. Kurt despite his blushing was glad they'd taken him as he didn't want their first argument to be a drunken one over Blaine messing up his shirt. Artie was picked up by his father who had insisted his son could not stay the night. He seemed to regret the decision when Artie proceeded to rap 'Baby Got Back' loudly in the car as they left. Tina and Mercedes left together as Tina was both their designated driver and staying at Mercedes house. In a rare moment of drunken somberness Mercedes had reminded Tina that Mercedes mother would smack her down like the hand of God if they stayed out all night. Lauren had left early anyway as she had a wrestling match the next day although drunk Santana had commented (luckily for her after Lauren left) that it was just a matter of time before she quit glee since Lauren and Puck had exchanged words pertaining to being better friends than boyfriend/girlfriend.

The rest of New Directions however had stayed, in small part because they were too drunk to drive and any designated drivers had long since left. Brittany suggested a movie marathon and Mike had chanted 'Die Hard' over and over again. It actually made the cut after drunk Rachel proclaimed that they should watch it because "Bruce Willis still looked awesome back then" and while Puck and Finn had nearly choked on their beers at that comment Santana had seconded the choice and said that drunk Rachel was actually fun.

This had lead to Kurt insisting on choosing the second movie since he would be forced to watch the initial testosterone fest.

That's how they'd ended up asleep hours later, a few more drinks in their system, watching 'A Boy Girl Thing' and curled up on various beds, sofas and piles of blankets in the Hudson-Hummel basement.