Dear Denzil,

You should be sorry, you should be crying.

Sorry.

You shouldn't be, you should be happy. You should be with her; you shouldn't be reading this letter at all. But you are, because you're an idiot.

I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you, I shouldn't have cried when you told me that I was just your friend, just like a sister.

The school will no doubt tell you that I transferred suddenly; my father got a new job or something. The Royal Lunacy Board is sneaky like that. I'm not going to tell you what asylum they put me in, I don't want to ever see or hear from you again.

I'm writing to tell you that if you had been nicer, if you had been more careful with my heart then maybe I wouldn't be in this situation. After all, young ladies should not send love letters to other young ladies. Engaged young ladies. I think they're married now. Oh god, let me die.

How did we fall down this rabbit hole? Did I push you? Did I peer over the edge, with you clutching my skirt, telling me not to go? Did I bat away your hand and jump? Did you step over the edge after me? I realise that you were falling down another personal rabbit hole.

Sorry...Again.

I wanted something safe; I wanted someone who wouldn't hurt me. And who knows a lady's heart better than another lady? She defiantly knew my heart and I knew her's. I loved her, Denzi, I really did. But she was too taken with her soon-to-be husband and that blasted letter never reached her. Her little sister found it and gave it to their father. A vicar.

So I was bundled into a coach, I was taken to a scary white room, I was tested. It was hell, Denzi.

They took me home, though. They're allowing me to pack, to say goodbye to my family. I've bundled a few dresses into a bag and I have not talked to my mother or father, I'm writing to you instead.

Remember when we were little; we stole my mother's brooch, right? We tore at the skin of our hands and studied the scarlet specks that bubbled up to the surface. We clasped our hands together and we mixed our blood, you became my blood brother that day. Do you remember?

I'm going to miss you.

I know you didn't mean to hurt me and that we'll always be best friends. I don't love you anymore, Denzil. I don't even think I love her either. I started writing this letter so angry! I'm not angry anymore.

I'm leaving this letter on the table in the front room; my mother will pick this up and deliver it to you. She may read it first.

You'll always be my blood brother, Denzi. I do want to see you again, I just can't.

They're coming for me.

-Freedom Sparks