"How?! Man, how are you so bad at this?!"

"I do not understand. Why was that the wrong choice?"

"Man, your gift options were some flowers or some wrenches. Why did you pick flowers?!"

"In approximately 72% of romantic media across all galactic cultures, flowers are a symbol of romance."

"She's a Quarian! She wears an environment suit 24/7! She can't smell them!"

"It was also intended as a promise for the future. A sign that while she may not be able to partake of the flowers now, one day her people will be able to return to their homeworld."

"...ok I can kinda see that romantic angle, but I doubt the developers were thinking that far down the line. I mean, Quarians returning to Runelock?"


"Whatever. Also, 'partake'? You can just say smell, man."

"Incorrect. Before they fled from Rannoch, vegetation blooms were a staple of the Quarian diet."


"According to my research-"

"Oh good grief man enough about Ancient Quarian Culture. Well, actually, how's your thesis going?"

"The final draft is finishing revisions. I anticipate I will submit it in around 47 hours."

"Nice! Good for you man, I knew you could do it! Way to get that degree!"

"I still do not understand why my first four submissions were rejected."

"Man, like I told you, they were way too stiff. It was like something a VI would churn out. A dumb one."


"Anyways, that's then. Here and now, you've got an offended Quarian chick. How are you going to make it up to her?"

"In approximately 81% of romantic media across all galactic cultures, preparing food for a potential romantic partner is a symbol of romance."

"Oooh, nice! See buddy, I knew you could do it! Now, your options are-"

"The cooking unit is now on fire."


"This is highly improbable. The Cision-brand cooking unit depicted should have safety measures in place to-"



"... ok I know turians are supposed to be tough, but grabbing the malfunctioning unit panel bare-handed and throwing it out the window?"

"'Bare-handed'? Ah. Yes. The character has organic hands. I knew this."

"Well, turian, so more durable than most… anyway, now she's mad that you broke her stuff. Aaaand threw it out before she could repair it. Any last-ditch efforts to save the date?"

"...In approximately 96% of romantic media across all galactic cultures, the practice of reciting poetry-"