I'm laying here in my bed. The cool blankets wrapped around me as well as a strong pair of arms. I snuggle closer and pull in the arms that have comforted me so many times. This is my favourite place to be. In my apartment, in my bed, in my favourite pajamas, in his arms. The alarm clock on the other side of me goes off but i ignore it. I scrunch up my face trying to fall back into the contentment that was before the blaring noise went off. The arms leave me as he reaches over me, carefull not to roll on top of me. I hear a soft beep telling me that he has turned the alarm off and the absence of noise comferms. I sigh but this was a mistake. I quickly realize my mistake and think to myself gosh darnit for making a noise. He laughs and says "I know your awake." In his sweet country accent.
I feign sleep but I cant help but to smile when he kisses my cheek. "Ugh. Hit the snooze." I say groggily hearing my voice thick with sleep. He laughs. "Not today sweetheart.". I pull the blanket over my head in protest but as soon as it gets over its quickly pulled of out of my reach. I squell and curl in as close to him as possible.
It is always so freakin cold in the mornings and my current pajama choice of a camie and exercise shorts arnt helping. He is such an incubator i have no choice but to snuggle as close as i can for warmth, and he knows it too. "Your evil!" I whine but he only laughs and says "You know you love me." I sit up and my crazy short blonde hair falls in my face. I quickly swipe it out of the way. "Shower time." He says getting out of bed and walking over to his dresser. When i said my apartment i meant that its in my name but we've been living together for a two years now. He's actually my husband and we've been through two great years of mariage.
Dr. Alvin Wheeler is my husband. I can still remember the day he proposed. It was snowing and we were in the park of my home town. I was broken out of my train of thought when he bent down and gently kissed me. "No time for spacing honey. You keep that up and we'll be late for work." I bent in for another kiss then got up saying "Yeah i reckon so. We dont want Cheif Webber getting his panties in a knot." We work at a local hospital. Seatle Grace Mercy West hospital. We are both attendings. He's the head of Pediatric surgeory and I'm the head of Orthopedic surgeory. I walk to the bathroom door taking a quick glance at the bathroom clock. We were fifteen minutes behind. Alvin noticed this too. "We takin a team shower today?" He asked, a smile lighting up his beautiful face. I smile just because he makes me smile. "Looks like it" I say walking into the bathroom and pulling two towels out of the closet. Hes in such a giddy mood because he knows what a team shower leads to, i think to myself. I set the towels down on the table next to the shower. It got pretty heated in there but we finally got out and started getting ready. looking at the clock we had to have saved time taking a team shower but we lost time taking a team shower. Oh well. we were going to be late but it was worth it. With haste we were able to make it to work only ten minutes late. We held hands until we got to the door. We decided long ago when we first came here as interns that when we came here the only place we were us was in the cafeteria and in on call rooms.
We enter the building greeting people as we go. The usual. "Good morning you two." Dr. Webber suddenly says from behind us. "Ah good morning cheif." We say at the same time. Dr. Webber smiles and continues walking. He then calls behind his back but we didnt think he really intended for us to hear it. "Good luck."
Me and Alvin just looked at eachother. With a shrug he bent down and gave me a good bye kiss and to my sadness as it is every day i watched my love walk down the hall way. As soon as he was out of sight i turned to change into my scrubs. Within five minutes i was at the attending locker rooms. The nicest ones in the hospital. My dark blue scrubs are thrown in my locker. I pull them on ignoring the wrinkles. Grabbing my pager i walk out the door. Something about what the cheif had said was still creeping me out. Good luck. What the heck did that mean? Maybe he was talking about a surgeory? I have a tough day ahead of me today. Back to back surgeories. I have a hip replacement, a thorecotomy, multiple fractures to repair, a hip relocation, and last but not least my utmost hated thing to do. An amputation. I absolutely hate amputations. Even if it saves lives amputations are just the worst. My pager suddenly goes off. Crap! ortho to the pit. and it's a 911 call. I drop my banana that i was eating and take off running towards the pit. Running in a hospital is necessary when there is a 911 page but i suggest you be a little more alert than i was. I turned a corner and ran smack into a person. I hit the stone person and fall back on my butt. I ignore my throbbing nose and get up. To my surprise the figure was standing infront of me and hadnt moved. I looked up at them and recognized the person as Mark Sloan. I mentally groaned. This guy is a doofus. A total weenie. Even though he is dating Lexie Grey, another doctor at seatle grace mercy west, he still sticks his nose in my business. "Dr. Ann! How lovely to see you." He said putting on a bright smile. People here call me Dr. Ann. Since theres already a Dr. Wheeler we call me by my middle name as to not confuse people. It doesnt have a bad ring to it. I like my middle name.
"Hello Dr. Sloan. I really gotta go." I say trying to side step him. He doesnt let me pass but steps in my way. "Just one question." He says still smiling. I wipe my nose checking for a bloody nose but im good so i say "Yeah just hurry up."
"Great!" He says clapping his hands together. Its creepily enthusiastic. His smile gets wider as he pauses for suspense.
"McYummy!" He says spreading his arms out. His face said looky what i did! His blue eyes sparkled and his mouth curved up slightly more every second.
"Mark. I have to go. okay. I dont have time to talk to you about my husband's McName." I say walking around him.
"Aww come on. Hey i'll meet you in the cafeteria in forty minutes! Bring your McHusband!" He yelled after me. What a weenie. I thought as i slowly started to run to the E.R. I came through the doors of the E.R. and stopped. The E.R. had so many people in it. I spun around trying to figure out where im needed.
"Dr. Ann!" i hear my name called. Following the direction of the voice lead me to a curtain on the far side of the room. I slid the curtain back to reveal a small child. It was gruesome. And i was too late. I got there as soon as they called it. I looked and saw Alvin. He looked defeated. His strong arms slumped in defeat he looked up to me in horror. My face probably didnt help his reaction. "Take care of this." I heard him say to another doctor as he walked to me.
"Was it me? Did i not get here in time!" I said as he grabbed my shoulder. "Lets go." he said gently. "Was it me?" I said not looking away from the mangled child.
"Let's go." He said grabbing me by the waist and pulling me out of the E.R.
He dragged me down to the nearest open on call room and pushed me in. Immediately he wrapped his arms around me. I dont know how long we stood there. After a while i stepped back. Alvin looked at me and said "This was not your fault. She crashed as soon as she got in the doors."
I took a releived breath. What time is it? I think i need to go to surgery. I look up at Alvin. feeling slightly better. "You have to go to surgeory soon." He said giving me a weak smile. "Yeah." I say. We stand there for a few more minutes and then i leave for surgeory and he leaves for rounds.
Ive just completed my hip replacement when im paged to Cheifs office. I sluggishly walk down to the cheifs office. My thorecotomy has been snatched from beneath scalpel loving fingers. I dont know how im going to get through the rest of my day. i think to myself. I arrive at the cheifs office and tap on the door cracking it slightly "Come in." He said not looking up from the mounds of paper work he had.
"You wanted to see me cheif?" I ask stepping into his office and shutting the door.
"Dr. Ann yes. You need to hurry because you dont have much time. Your thorecotomy has been reschedualed for OR reasons and specail patient requests. You need to go to seatle presbetarian. The patient left this hospital because we dont have an avalable OR today but he still wants you to preform the surgeory."
My mouth probably hung open unattractivley. Cheif webber just raised his eyebrows and said "Dr. Ann, grab his chart and head up to the roof. The helicopter is ready to take you."
"Oh uh yes sir." I said rushing out the door. I ran down the hallway and grabbed the patients chart off the table and ran to the elevator. When it opened on the floor for peds I smiled. Alvin's old boss Arizona Robbins stepped inside. We'd met a while ago and she was a regular ball of sunshine. She was always calling herself awesome. She is though. She is awesome. We chit chatted a bit and she asked where i was going. I told her i was going to the roof to take a chopper to seattle presbertarian for a thorecotomy. At the mention of the name seatle presbertarian she frowned. "Seatle Presbertarian huh? Well be careful, i heard that theyve had some problems with a man who has it out for seatle presbertarian's ortho program." And with that she left stopping only to flash a dimpled smile. The helicopter ride was short and loud. I got to seatle pres. and was immediatley taken to an exam room where my thorecotomy patient was waiting for me to talk to him. I go in and talk him through the surgeory. Short, Sweet, and to the point.
I walk out of the exam room door and shut it, folding the chart under my arm. I start to walk out when i hear people screaming and some one yell "Get down!"
I look over to where i hear the screaming. A man is standing over there, He pulls a small red package out of his jacket.
A wave of heat hits my face and an invisible force throws me back. My skin burns. I hit the floor and slide. I suddenly stop and as i do i feel a sharp pain in the back of my head. Then with adrenaline everything goes numb.
I vaguely remember reaching up and touhcing the back of my hot wetness pouring down the back of my head didnt surprise me.
What i saw next got me thinking how mysterious the human brain is. The human brain is the bodies most mysterious organ. It learns, It changes, It adapts. It tells us what we see. What we hear. I lets us feel love. I think it holds our soul. No matter how much research we do, no one can really tell how all the grey matter inside our skull works. And when its hurt. When the human brain is traumatized. well, thats when it gets even more mysterious.
I stared at the figure in front of me. It stares bendling down in front of me for closer inspections. After a few secondsof mutual staring the figure stood back up.
It was me. The figure staning before me WAS me.
I sank into unconcouisness.
I reawoke in an ambulance. Or coming out of an ambulance. I try to remember waht had happened. I was at Seatle Presbertarion. A bomb. I hit my head. I was ...
halucinating another me?. No it wasnt me. It was a ... different me? Agh thinking about it hurts my head. Or is it just my head hurts that i cant think about it.
Lights bring me out of my daze. I hear a jumble of things and they move the gourney bringing a good freind of mine into veiw.
"Emily your ok. We got you. Dont worry, We'll take care of this." Dr. Hunt said looking at me with fierce blue eyes.
"Wait! is that blood in her chest?" I hear someone say.
They take the air mask off me. Now was my chance to speak. I had trouble speaking through the blood i handt noticed was in my mouth.
"My head hurts. Is it bad? Will i be ok?" I ask couging and sputtering. i dont think they understood me. They didnt answer.
I saw Dr. Bailey cringe and in an almost state of panic she said "Dont worry honey, we're going to fix this!"
With that i felt dizzy. Strangley detached yet im still laying strapped to the gourney. I can see the other me standing behind the crowd of doctors.
She was staring at me. I felt drawn to her. A part of her. I was mesmerized by her gaze but snapped out of it when the gourney started to move.
They run through the E.R room doors.
"Get out of the way!" to others in the E.R I saw the other me standing at the door when we passed the E.R room to a large trauma room. She was fuzzy, Hazzy almost.
I looked up to Dr. Hunt who just looked down at me and said "You stay with me Emily. You hear me? You stay with me." Dr. Hunt is so nice.
The other me was running with Dr. Hunt. Right next to him looking down at me. She was still hazy. Everytime she came into contact with the gourney or Dr. Hunt her body would ripple and smoke would fly off her. This is so freaky! There is somthing so wrong with me. I hit my head and now im seeing another me! I feel panicky and for the first time since the ambulance tears leave my eyes.
She stepped up her pace and as she made contact with the E.R doors she dissapated and was gone. I felt less dizzy, everything was just a little clearer than it was a few seconds ago. For the first time i could see what was going on around me.
People around me were frantic. Running every where.
"123!" I hear them say and i'm lifted of the mobile gourney and onto a trauma gourney.
"Get those IVs up!" Bailey yells "Make sure the lines are packed." The cheif says "Depressed skull fracture with a probable bleed." Derek says "No obvious spinal deformaties." Christina says "Hang two bags of O neg." Bailey yells "She's A positive!" Alvin yells as he bursts into my vision through the doctors. He looks at me in horror. Tears already streaming down his face as well as blood running down his forehead. He tries to get to me but the a doctor whom i dont know and mark sloan grab him and pull him out of the room trying to talk sense to him.
"Scratch that A positive type specific." Bailey corrects The other me appeared through the door as Alvin was dragged out. Again she was like smoke. It swirled in the air and came together to form her. At her appearance i felt dizzy again. The room began to swirl and i felt as if i'd be sick. My head was pounding. I was tired and all i wanted to do was sleep.
"No breath sounds on the right, Set up a chest tube." I hear teddy say The other me was swirling around the gourney. As she passed behind doctors i could see the smoke like substance float off her and disipate into thin air.
"I need those drapes to prep her chest." Teddy says pulling her stethascope from where she was listening to me breathing.
The other me stopped next to derek who was looking at my head. I could barely see her through my peripheral vision. My head started to pound.
"Your gonna have to push the LRI faster. Bailey where are ya?" The cheif yelled Bailey stopped on her way away from me and said "Grabbing a diffuser." and started on her way again "Okay, she needs a central line." The cheif calls out to the room Christina responds and runs out of the room "Call upstairs and prep an OR. Wheres that blood?" The cheif yelled finishing his round of orders A few minutes or maybe it was seconds? I dont really know. But it was silent for a period of time.
She walked over to an empty spot at the edge of the gourney. She grabbed the IV needle from someone across me and began to stick it in my arm. Bailey was growing fuzzy in my vision. She turned a different color of brown and i started seeing spots. This is it. I think. I'm gonna die here. Its coming i can feel it. I felt my hand start to shake. My heart was pounding in my throat as well as my head. Gosh my head hurt so much. Bailey noticed my shaking hand and looked up at me. I looked at her and just wimpered. This morning i woke up laying in my bed with my loving husband next to me and everything was so normal. Bailey finished her IV and took hold of my hand tightly. It was last of the words i heard were foggy and as i stared at Bailey my vision became blured. Then it was out all together. Suddenly i was able to see again but i wasnt looking at Bailey. I wasnt even on the gourney. I was looking at myself on the gourney.
"B fib!" Jackson yelled and i saw my eyes flutter "She's crashing." meredith said "Start bagging her." some one else said "Get me the intubation tray." Derek said I lifted my hands up infront of my face. They wer foggy looking with smoke rolling off of them. I felt drawn to my injured counterpart on the gourney. I went with my instincts and walked towards the me on the table. I tried to touch the me on the gourney but everytime i did my hand would ripple and dissapear into smoke. I would pull away and the smoke would come back to form my hand. "charge to 120!" The man with the paddles said. He waited a few seconds until he heard the okay and yelled "Clear!" "Still in B fib." Teddy said "Charge to 200."
"Clear." And the paddles were brought back down upon the me on the gourney's chest. When they did i felt a jolt.
"We got her back!" Some one yelled "All right lets move!" Derek yelled taking head of the gourney and began to push it out and to the elevator I walked into the hallway infront of the elevator and waited for the doctors, my friends and myself to come racing by in a frantic attempt to save my life.
I wathced the elevator doors shut. I turned to the steps down the hall and began to walk up them to follow myself to surgeory.